didos-fixating

[didos-fixating]

starting to think some of yall arent serious bout finding beauty in the grotesque

[didos-fixating]

You know what I miss? Physical media. Physically handing out a mixtape to someone. I miss DVDs and portable DVD players. Owning your music and movies and not paying 10€ a month. My Christmas wishlist rn is just a DVD/CD burner

[didos-fixating]

This post doesn’t have a thesis but, it’s an observation I have that cost-of-living does not go up linearly with improvements to life, it multiplies. Sometimes by huge amounts.

Like are you an adult living with your parents who aren’t charging rent? Maybe your costs are just food mostly. Would you like to move out? That’s reasonable. Except now the cost of living is rent (probably 2-4x what your monthly food cost was or more) and all the utilities.

Are you tired of renting and want to own a house? Thats reasonable. Except that costs an entire down payment, and now property tax and mortgage. And if your sink breaks the plumber’s visit is $150, and materials are $150 and cost of labor is $150. And that’s just the sink. If it’s something worse it can be several months’ worth of what used to be your rent budget spent instantly.

Do you own a house that’s a little dated and weathered and would like to do some renovations? That’s reasonable. The kitchen renovation is $30,000. The bathroom renovation is $20,000. Expect “unexpected” costs to build up along the way.

Do you own a house and want to start a family and give them the best life? Thats reasonable. College across 3 kids is going to be bare minimum $500,000. You’d hate to saddle them with all of that debt so you better start saving now. This saving needs to somehow come out of a budget which is now supporting 3 kids’ worth of food, clothes, daycare, school supplies, sports supplies, family vacations (if you’re lucky enough for those), dental work, braces, medical checkups—

[didos-fixating]

I would rather be subject to a woman without virtue, fidelity, or pity. Such a woman in her magnificent selfishness is likewise an ideal. If I am not permitted to enjoy the happiness of love, fully and wholly, I want to taste its pains and torments to the very dregs; I want to be maltreated and betrayed by the woman I love, and the more cruelly the better. This too is a luxury.

-Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, Venus in Furs

[didos-fixating]

Things said at MUN conferences that made my jaw drop:

"The difference between this resolution and this pen is that this pen has a point"

"This is the Hague MUN, not the vague MUN"

"Imagine you are a woman about to give birth, and all of the sudden BOMBOCLAT!"

"As Anakin Skywalker once said"

[didos-fixating]

tenderness is in the hands ― Carolyn Forché, L’Avventura (1960), Ocean Vuong, The White Ribbon (2009), Hart Crane, Gelatin Silver, Love (2009), Ingeborg Bachmann, Les amants du Pont-Neuf (1991), Sylvia Plath, Psycho (1960), Rod McKuen (stills by @forhandsthatsuffer)

[didos-fixating]

And then what happiness, when at some time you deign to be gracious, and the slave may kiss the lips which mean life and death to him

[didos-fixating]

I wrote a cute little poem about masochism I hope you guys enjoy

I will dig the soil until my fingers bleed, if you command, to find treasure non existent, and if you laugh at my misery I will heartily dig a little deeper,

Not to prove my worth, I am not disquieted if you think me lesser, but for the cause of being perceived in such state of devotion, as it is perhaps the mind's greatest pleasure.

I hold onto my dignity with false hesitation and quickly realise for that I am unfit, to be demanding of respect, as is decent men's fashion, is an act I will drop once I hear your tone shift.

Demand, demean, and laugh, if my mortification entertains you. I have fulfilled my purpose if my misery has amused you, and by earning your pity I have earned the greatest reward.

[didos-fixating]

I've decided if people are going to call male characters babygirl then I can do it the other way around for female characters. She's my man now. That woman is my boyfriend. My boytoy even.

[didos-fixating]

And mine has the audacity to tell me we should "keep it lowkey"

Also I found this while in the forest, it made me happy

[didos-fixating]

Who does masochism better? Shakespeare or Leopold von Sacher-Masoch?

“Yes, in all seriousness, I want to be your slave,” I continued. “I want your power over me to be sanctified by law; I want my life to be in your hands, I want nothing that could protect or save me from you. Oh, what a voluptuous joy when once I feel myself entirely dependent upon your absolute will, your whim, at your beck and call. And then what happiness, when at some time you deign to be gracious, and the slave may kiss the lips which mean life and death to him.” I knelt down, and leaned my burning forehead against her knee.

-Venus in Furs, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

That god forbid, that made me first your slave, I should in thought control your times of pleasure, Or at your hand the account of hours to crave, Being your vassal, bound to stay your leisure! O! let me suffer, being at your beck, The imprison'd absence of your liberty; And patience, tame to sufferance, bide each check, Without accusing you of injury.

-Sonnet 58, William Shakespeare

Being your slave what should I do but tend Upon the hours, and times of your desire? I have no precious time at all to spend; Nor services to do, till you require. Nor dare I chide the world without end hour, Whilst I, my sovereign, watch the clock for you, Nor think the bitterness of absence sour, When you have bid your servant once adieu; Nor dare I question with my jealous thought Where you may be, or your affairs suppose, But, like a sad slave, stay and think of nought Save, where you are, how happy you make those.

-Sonnet 57, William Shakespeare

[didos-fixating]

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

[didos-fixating]

I received this text, am I supposed to act normal?

[didos-fixating]

children's media is so evil for pretending broccoli's bad broccoli's literally so delicious and beautiful why are you being so mean to her i think you're just jealous honestly

[didos-fixating]

Do you ever feel such a deep sort of affection where physical touch doesn’t feel enough I need to either have our atoms merge or consume you

[didos-fixating]

This is so unbelievably real

"autism is a new phenomenon that's on the rise" do you really think the Gregorian monks who spent months writing a single letter H and drawing little pictures of snails on it in illuminated manuscripts were neurotypicals? is that really something a neurotypical would do

[didos-fixating]

I unashamedly believe in magic now, just like I did when I was a kid. I’m not crazy, you just let the magic in you die and you turned into the boring adult little you hoped you’d never be.