diaryofastepmom

[diaryofastepmom]

When the STEP KIDS finally leave and I can be a legal citizen of my own home again 😍

[diaryofastepmom]

This Is Why I Can’t Stand Them...

Just got word that my step daughter wants to change the plan again. I have to work and she lives a few hours away. Currently she is staying with her grandparents during to work week because its hard to travel back and forth a few hours one way. If you saw my last post you would know that we have a one bedroom house since she was never coming during my husbands scheduled time. we made sure she was okay staying with her grandparents. She knows I have motion sickness and dread long car rides. I have been dealing with it FOR her for a while now. She is now demanding that we go pick her up and bring her back so that we can buy a hotel for a week and a half. Why you may ask? because we wouldn’t let her buy a few games she wanted when she already has loads of games to play. and she knows WE ARE BROKE! This is why I can’t stand 2 of my 3 step kids. The oldest one is fine. for she most part she is a really good kid. She is just late by hours leaving people waiting on her ALL the time. 

And for the record, of course if there were a solid good reason, of course I wouldn’t be complaining. But because of how she is doing it and her reasons for doing it, I cant stand it. 

But of course her and her sister know the system and if we don’t do what she wants, she threatens to never come with us again and make it so her mom will get more child support (which I have to pay since my husband lost his job.)  These kids know how to use manipulation to their finest advantage.

Guess Ill be sucking up the motion sickness and driving a few hours each way to go get her, so that we can waste more of my savings, that I’ve been saving for years to be able to afford a child of my own, on a hotel room for almost 2 weeks.

[diaryofastepmom]

I Feel Guilty For Admitting This

Do you ever just wish that your step kids would go away? 

I do but I feel so guilty for saying that. 

Truth of the matter is, my husband painted a picture that sounded like a dream to me before we got married. I’ve always wanted kids, and I want a lot of them. I didn’t enjoy spending time with his kids before marriage, because they take so much advantage of us, but he said they usually choose not to come with him during his parenting time. I began to see the pattern of them just not coming at all. They would rather stay with their mom and hang out with their friends where their mom lives. He estimated that he sees them MAYBE once a month for a day. That didn’t sound too bad to me. He also said that they were coming less and less often with the more their mom manipulates things, and with them making more friends that they want to see on weekends.

He also didn’t have a great relationship with his kids because their biological mom turned them against him when they got divorced. I’ve met their mom and she is definitely a piece of work. 

I’ll admit, as wrong as it may sound, since they didn’t hardly want to come with him, I thought that my husband and I could kind of start over. Have our own kids together and continue to see the others once and a while. since his bio kids are so disrespectful and take advantage of him, I looked forward to having kids that would treat him with love and respect. All that fatherly-child love that he missed out on

Here's where the resentment comes in. I put on a façade around his kids because they’re still just teenagers and I don’t think it’s okay for them to pick up on the fact that I don’t enjoy my time with them. So as soon as I got married, they now come with us every other week as scheduled. We have bought a place just for us to start out in thinking we would never really see them, like usual. So whenever we have them, we have to get a hotel room. My husband lost his job due to pandemic, but still has child support payments to make. So as soon as we got married, we bought a place, then he lost his job, now I am the primary income holder. I pay for everything. We cant afford to get a different house since we just got this one bedroom place. We were both counting on his kids to not come.

I don’t want to sabotage his time with them because I know he loves them, but I wish there was like a year after marriage where his bio kids could just disappear for a while so we can figure things out financially. I resent them because I can’t afford a hotel every other week like we are doing, they keep asking for expensive things knowing I’m on a tight budget. And I can’t get things at home done while I'm working and in a hotel room. for a week every other week. I also have to pay the child support until my husband can find a different job.

I also feel resentment because all the money I was saving to spend on my own kids are now going to his kids via child support and the fact that teenagers are like bottomless pits! We told them they can have 2 snacks a day since we are on a TIGHT budget. They still sneak food just because they’re bored. We make big meals so I know they aren't starving. In fact they get full and waste the rest that they took and couldn’t eat.

Bottom line, I feel guilty telling all this to my husband or anyone I know, but its so hard to put on a show when I am more stressed out than I’ve ever been with going from supporting only myself financially, but supporting my husband, his 3 kids AND his ex wife and her husband because neither of them work, they live on the child support. I know it’s selfish, but I do miss being able to buy my basic necessities even without my husband worrying that we wont be able to provide his kids with more expensive snacks that they like. I used to wear makeup everyday and now I can’t afford it so I’ve wore makeup once in the last 3 months. Yet the youngest who is fully aware of our finances is throwing fits for expensive games and wanting takeout every night. I told my husband that if I have to bust my but working for things, they’re going to have to start doing chores for what they want as long as it is affordable.