diary0fslut-blog

[diary0fslut-blog]

Here’s my intro

Well shit. Where should I start? Maybe with my purpose of all this. My purpose is to write about my experience, my real experience. I google stripper and sugar baby and all I get is that sugar coated cosmo interview shit. That ain’t it. This shits crazy, weird, confusing.. And ugly sometimes. I want someone who might be in a similar situation to mine, be able to relate. Or if someone is thinking about diving into this world, to know what it might entail. Every situation is different obviously but maybe it’ll be close to what could happen. Maybe you can learn a thing or 2 from my mistakes. I hope you do. Or maybe, you live an opposite life than I do. Maybe you have your shit together with a cool career and awesome life and will never have to do the things I do to get by. maybe this shit can just be pure entertainment to indulge in. That’d be fine by me too. Whatever your purpose is on my blog, I’ll drink to that. Cheers!

A little about myself: I’m keeping this shit anonymous, do I need to explain why? I think it’s just better this way. I’m 20 years old, about to turn 21. I didn’t grow up very fucked up in my opinion. My family was pretty cool, I was spoiled I would say. I feel kinda bad for how i turned out. My parents had bigger plans for me, I was their first kid, the one who would have made all their struggles worth it. Good grades, decent friends, they always did their best to provide me with the best they could. In their eyes, I probably should’ve been in college on a full ride scholarship, having the time of my life. Maybe I would’ve been a sorority bitch. But college isn’t calling me right now. I took a semester at the community college and failed all 3 classes. I’ll go back to that.. eventually. That’s what they had in their minds ideally, but on some deeper shit, I don’t think they ideally had planned on my dad skeedaddling a little after my high school graduation with some white trash bitch who my mom is convinced feeds him oxys. Whatever. Life isn’t about planning if you ask me. The more you expect things to go a certain way, the more disappointmented you are when shit takes a turn down what the fuck just happened street. He left my mom and my younger brother and sister behind. And me. Whatever.

Anyways, I’m a very confused gal. I think I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder but I never wanted to go back to the recommended full psychological evaluation to find out. I don’t want to be labeled that, on record at least. But maybe I am. Sometimes, it really does feel like I’m a different person within the matter of hours or days. Sometimes I get on new waves for months. I’ve been a lot of different people.That’s what makes the shit I do way harder than it might be. I’m constantly at war in my head. I would say it feeds into my promiscuous behavior, and all my fucked up relationships. In case anyone is wondering, my body count is higher than I am aged. I went through some weird shit that I looked for other people to fix, especially after i turned 18 and got my heart broken. Spoiler alert: it never worked!!!! I’ve slowed down on catching bodies but I still make mistakes here and there. That I was able to actually list by name, I’m at 22. That I might’ve forgot? Maybe 5. At the most. Whatever. I’ll never admit that number to anyone lol. I’ll stick to 10.

Next!!! Physically, I’m a pretty girl, I won’t lie. My appearance gets me a good amount of attention. I’m not a model but I’m cute. I’m mixed race. My dad is from Europe my mom is from Mexico. I think I look pretty Mexican but most can tell I’ve got some mutt in me. I’m 5’3 I’m weighing in at about 130 lately. Dyed blonde hair, cuteish brown eyes, a lot of people like my smile. I’m aight. I was super into working out for a while but then i got sad again. So i stopped about a month ago. if i dedicated a good 8 weeks to working out and not eating pasta every 3 hours, i would be pretty hot. My personality is pretty cool, it’s usually looks that attract but personality that hooks. I don’t know why. People think I’m cool, most of the time. If they don’t, they probably hate me. I don’t know why that is either. I have a job as a receptionist, but it’s not enough to get me by. I make 300 a week right now. How the fuck does someone live on 300 a week? I’m not a budgeter. That’s why I strip, I started stripping right after my first spring break in Mexico. Back then i was working at a call center and hated my life. My thought process was: if I can shake my ass for free why wouldn’t I for some cash? A good amount of cash at that. Some nights..I’ll get more into that later. But wait, I’ve already lied. I didn’t just go into the club and jump on the pole, I started off as a waitress first. A lot girls do. It didn’t last very long but I just wanted to see what it was like. It’s a lot less scary than it seems, when you’re there, there’s a lot of titties and ass to look at. And it’s not hard to feel good about yourself. There’s girls of all shapes and sizes, but what you figure out eventually is your looks are only the sample. If you want someone to give you their money, your mouth piece is more important. The club is a constant party. I honestly love the things I’ve come to experience there, people are so interesting. So weird, in a place like the strip club. It’s a place where people feel “free” in a fantasy.

I just started doing the whole sugar baby thing, but I’ll describe that in its own post. I don’t know how long it’ll last in all honesty. That shits way harder than stripping. Mentally at least.

Uhhhhh what else should I include in this post? Maybe my relationship status? It’s complicated. I kinda just ended shit with my boy (we’ll call him B) who finishes his short term prison sentence in about a month but I’m sure he’s going to convince me to stick around and shit will be better blah blah blah. I also have a psycho ex, (we will call him A) who might be my soulmate but its probably more like Stockholm syndrome on both our ends. We hate eachother. But we love eachother. It’s also B’s ex best friend! Yeah! I’m that bitch. My ex broke my heart too many times I wanted him to leave me alone. Forever. I thought fucking his old best friend would do the trick. And then we actually started dating. MUAHAHAHA I thought. He’s never coming back to manipulate and bother me. I was WRONG. I’m trying to let go, I know deep down it’ll never work but i still let him drag me around and pretend we might work and also i let him fuck me sometimes. Most times. Basically every time we see eachother. I don’t even want to most of the time, I don’t know who he sticks his dick in. And we hate condoms. But it always happens anyways. I’m so annoying. Yes I cheated on B with A. I’ll see how that plays out when he gets released. Stay tuned. But for now, I’m not with anyone. Technically.

I’m not sure what else to touch on in my intro here. I know this is stupid to say because I have literally 0 followers as I just made this an hour ago, but maybe in the future someone will read this and be curious. if you have any questions, feel free to ask me. I’m an open book, especially under the cover of my anonymous status. Just don’t ask me my name.