diary-of-meeeeeee

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

12.14.13

Saturday

2:34 am

currently listening to heaven by beyonce from her new album that she dropped out of no where. It sounds vaguely similar to rihanna's stay. so i shall be doing a mash up cover soon.

But I am also currently trying to study for the orgo final. i just can't wait for it all to be over. and this song is really sad. lol i'm not one to get emotional about anything. but this song is about her miscarriage apparently, and it's really sad. :(

lol it's weird listening to this song and memorizing notes about nucleophilic aromatic substitution.

So there was another shooting at colorado sometime this week.. I don't really follow it because.. i don't really like seeing stuff like that. it's actually pretty heartbreaking how public shootings have become so common nowadays. I yearn for the days when such shootings was a rarity and everyone would be shocked by it. Today, a shooting occurs and nothing. it's just one of those days. call it selfish, or self pleasure. but i still want to be shocked by those kinds of news. I don't want to be tolerant to deaths. and this is not only for those that were shot. I believe the shooters are also victims as well. i can't even begin to imagine what was going through their minds when they decided to go through with such horrible actions. I am just hoping that does not happen around here. But I have a feeling, there will come a day where it would become a normality right here in the neighborhood. wow. sorry for the long schpeal. but i just wanted to get that off my chest. 

On a side note, i made cinnamon buns today instead of studying for orgo. i still think it was a very good use of my time. lol.

My grandmother is feeling a lot better though! she's walking around and doing her own thing.

alright goodnight and goodbye!

forever sighing

+.+

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

12.13.13

Friday

2:19

okay okay it's technically saturday. but.. i'm pretty sure i've done this before.

Well I went into to Kocher to ask if he will round up my 89.9 to an A. But he will not. I'm surprisingly okay with it. It's mostly because I really don't give two shits about this semester. Only that i see the end of it. I don't really care if I get a B. I have changed a lot since the first semester of college. After getting that first C in my Gen chem class with Friedman... nothing happened when i got that C. the world didn't come crashing down. nobody cared. not even my parents. i continued to work hard in class and try to attempt to get good grades. I tried hard not to get another C. and haven't gotten another C in a while. given the fact that it's only been one semester since I've gotten a C, it's not that impressive. but you know what? i am still proud of myself. I don't get disappointed when i don't get A's! I just brush off some dirt and get back up and hang out with some friends and forget about it. and move onto the next semester. That being said.

I have done absolutely nothing this whole day. I finished my one essay for my asian american studies class (why the fuck did i take this fucking class) but yet i still have 3 more essays for that class. And I haven't studied for orgo, or orgo lab. and i also need to add genetics to that list of classes i need to study for. But whatever happens happens. the worst that can happen is i fail out of orgo. fail schfail. same difference. i understand that this is also not a very good mindset. I feel like there is no middle ground to my emotions. it's just lately i haven't felt real motivation to do anything. except work. i like working! can't wait to build my chemostat! well i gots to go "start" studying for my finals! wish me luck. who ever is out there.

forever sighing.

~.~

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

12.12.13

Thursday

5:09

wow. it's been a while eh?

I just got out of lab and about to go out for dinner with some friends. Last day of orgo lab is a reason to celebrate. Say has literally been the best TA I have ever had. I actually don't think I would have done so well in Orgo lab if it weren't for him. 

Back from dinner. now. back to work. I gotta go write a bunch of essays for my asian american studies.

until next time. 

forever sighing,

$.$

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.20.13

sunday

1:41 am

it was actually pretty good weather

i moved back into my dorm today!

and tomorrow is the inauguration!

well technically today

i got my hair cut

and then did nothing today.

well starting wednesday that'll change.

i should go sleep soooo

question time

E. If you could live and be healthy without sleeping or eating/drinking, which would you cut out of your life?

uhhh definitely sleeping.

i find sleeping to be really pointless.

although it does give the brain some time to think on its own. (sounds pretty fucking scary) but yea sleeping is weird. you can sleep when you're dead.

now eating and drinking, omg. imagine a world where you couldn't eat or drink...

i mean whyyyy.

i love eating and drinking.

this is a stupid question.

well bye bye bye

forever sighing,

-.e

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.19.13

saturday

8:21 pm

it was sooo nice outside today

today was a busy day

went to spa world today at like 5 in the morning...

stayed there til 3

and then went to todai to eat dinner at 6.

it was supposed to be relaxing, but it just felt really rushed...

well anyways, im going back to school tomorrow! woot...

question time

D. Would you rather know everything the universe has to offer but in exchange lose all emotions or remain the way you are now?

uhhh i really don't want to know everything there is to know...

partly because of that indiana jones movie with the aliens.

and partly because i don't really care for knowledge..

i just think knowledge gives many people their sense of worth, when in fact it should be a person's personality and their morals and beliefs that represent their worth.

knowledge is nothing too a poor man.

and a poor man does not need knowledge to be happy.

so i'd rather just stay the person i am today...

byeeeeeeee

forever sighing,

@.@

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.18.13

friday

it's friday, friday, gotta get down on friday

12:15 am

it wasn't too bad outside..

pretty bored...

school on monday

on tumblr all day everyday

woke up.

did nothing.

question time

C. Have you ever looked down on someone because you thought your religious views were superior?

uhh..

well i don't really have any religious views... but i guess science could be a religious view.

it's the belief in the human brain and its abilities.

i have nothing against god or anything... it's just that it's a little too hard to believe for me.

i guess i don't have faith in god or what not.

but there is a lot stuff out there that science cannot explain and i mean if people choose to believe in god, then why not.

so no.. i don't really look down on what people believe. it's not me so why should i care?

alrighty good night

forever sighing,

~.~

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.17.13

thursday

3:14 am

not bad of a weather!

went to my friends house to chill

played poker, played guitar hero, and played scene it disney edition

it was fun and chill

then came home for dinner

went out to bucca de peppo i dont even think that's spelled correct but who the hell gives a shit

came home

and im here.

getting lost in an alternate universe i like to call youtube...

one video after another..

there is no end...

this is so fucking funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33zPlnhymCU

and this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLCDgUNADjY

my childhood. ㅠ_ㅠ

i should go sleep... lol

B. What is your first thought when you receive a message on Tumblr, are you excited for the idea of someone from potentially the other side of the world wanting to talk to you or fearful that someone will criticize you?

uhh...

i really don't give two shits when someone criticizes me because people criticize me literally from a foot away from me around here...

like my mother, father, sisters, friends...

of course it's all done lovingly.. i really don't even care if it's hate mail...

but i love it when people just randomly talk to me from places like austray-yuh

and places in europe..

alright we out.

forever sighing,

$.$

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.16.13

wednesday

11:25 pm

raining all day gloomy all day

but i love gloomy weather so i'm not complaining

didn't do much today

same old same old

going to the spa place on saturday

leaving for college on sunday

got a new phone case

it has snoopy on it.

alrighty question time

new questions starting today! yay!

A. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?

uhh maybe the north korean leader?

maybe kony! remember that time when everyone went crazy about killing kony

yea that was very short lived.. LOL.

alright time for bed!

night everyone

forever sighing,

#.#

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.15.13

tuesday

1:27 am

it fuggin freezing

alright

the same old same old

didn't do much

i'm hanging with my friend sometime this week

due to the rain it can't be tomorrow..

although i love the rain

it helps me fall asleep

it soothes me

alright

we got the apple tv today!

it turned out to be better than i expected...

we have so many apple products it's not even funny.

if we kept all of the apple logo stickers that they give out for every product, we would have at least a hundred by now.

and another hundred by the end of 2013

alright

i'm pretty bored...

imma go try to sleep

school next week!

i'm kind of excited and bummed out at the same time..

i do miss seeing mah friends, but at the same time i don't miss all the work stuff..

alright

question time

23.If you could do anything or wish anything, what would it be?

huh.

i would wish i could just spontaneously do what ever i wanted to..

its a really general wish, but idk...

now a days i just don't really feel happy..

i dont really know what happy feels like.

it all seems so... monotonous.

that word.

monotonous.

is so.

monotonous.

so many o's.

alright

done with all these questions!

i shall be starting a new slew of questions!

tah-tah for now

forever sighing,

*.*

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.14.13

i know i know i skipped a few days.

1:31 am

monday

break.

didn't do much.

the same dealio

i applied for a job!

office assistant job

hope it goes well

question time!

22.Which would you choose, true love with a guarantee of a broken heart, or never loved at all? Why?

true love with a guarantee of a broken heart

i feel like love is something that everyone should experience. even if it may not be the happy ending you always wish for, it is still special.

alright i'm tired..

imma go sleep

goodnight

forever sighing,

Z.Z

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.12.13

saturday

8:31 pm

boo-yah on time today.

uhh i woke up at like 12..

took a shower, ate breakfast/lunch

watched some shows,

and then i'm here now.

HAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE.

well.. seriously, that is my life.

question time

oh and by the way, i got some new questions! cuz i only have 3 left of them.

these are REALLY intense.

but yes.

question time.

21. When was the last time you were nice to someone and did NOT expect anything in return for it?

well i mean i'm the type of person that does stuff knowing that i will not get anything return.

when you're helping someone out, the first thing on your mind should not be "will i be able to get something out of this..?"

it should solely because you care about that person.

whether that be a stranger or a friend or a family member.

not to sound cocky and shit.. but yea that's a rule i live by.

i tend to forget what i do for others, but always remember what others do for me.

i think it's a good rule to live by!

if someone were to ask me to borrow money if they were in dire need, i would give them the money assuming that that person will not pay me back.

of course, if they did pay me back, it would be awesome!

but if they didn't, i wouldn't kill them for it! i wouldnt mind it.

there is a bad side to this though..

it's not in terms of doing anything actually.

in high school, all my friends would have all these problems and they would talk to me about it. and i would be like dr. phil and listen to their problems and try to help them.

but the moment i need someone to talk to, there's no one.

these are the moments where i think "i wish someone would do the same things that i did for them"

it's not the money, or anything tangible, it's just someone to talk to.

im not saying that my friends in high school were all bitches! they are awesome friends though! it's just that i would have on of those days where i was having a hard time either stress from school or stress from home and no one was there for me.

it might have been because i'm not great at expressing my feelings.

i tend to hide my feelings especially when i feel sad or angry.

but yea.

chao.

forever sighing,

<.<

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

Questions you might not hear everyday (Yeah, I made my own list)

A. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?

B. What is your first thought when you receive a message on Tumblr, are you excited for the idea of someone from potentially the other side of the world wanting to talk to you or fearful that someone will criticize you?

C. Have you ever looked down on someone because you thought your religious views were superior?

D. Would you rather know everything the universe has to offer but in exchange lose all emotions or remain the way you are now?

E. If you could live and be healthy without sleeping or eating/drinking, which would you cut out of your life?

F. If you could take on the exact body and form of anyone else on Earth, who would it be?

G. Would you rather burn or freeze to death?

H. If it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease and bigotry, would you spend the rest of eternity in Hell?

I. Was the first crush in your life something you had or something someone had on you?

J. Could you live without having sex ever (again) in exchange for eternal youth?

K. Have you ever watched a full length pornographic movie?

L. The Beatles or The Rolling Stones?

M. If you could have the ability to manipulate matter or energy, which would you choose?

N. What was the worst nightmare you ever had?

O. Would you rather spend one year with your one true love just to never see them again or the rest of your life with second best?

P. All the sequels/remakes/adaptations/rip-offs in movies nowadays, good or bad?

Q. Would you rather be dirt poor and emotionally fulfilled in life or be rich beyond imagination and emotionally dissatisfied for life?

R. Do you have any (secret) feelings of bigotry to any group of people?

S. Would you rather be the only person in the world that can read minds or have everyone else in the world be able to read minds except for your own?

T. If everyone in the world would automatically only know one language, which language would you choose?

U. If you were old enough and not in a situation where it would be inappropriate, would you sleep with one of your (past) school teachers/professors?

V. A world without religion, good, bad, neutral?

W. The men's rights movement, legitimate cause or laughable, and why?

X. You can eliminate one of your five senses to substantially strengthen the others, which one and would you do it?

Y. Do looks mean anything to you? Don't lie, could you fall in love with someone you thought was ugly?

Z. Can you understand the mindset and logic used by the opposite spiritual opinion? An atheist understanding the belief in a higher power and vice versa.

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.11.13

friday

10:30 pm

yea... i took a short nap today.

actually it was like 8 hours.

LOL. not short at all.

well anyways

i didn't do much today either.

i mean what do you expect. it's winter break.

we went to a korean restaurant for dinner.

it was muy delicioso.

i should start preparing for school..

im gonna start reading my econ textbook!

i'll let you know how that goes... lol

20. Are you old fashioned?

huh weird question..

it's kind of a let down from the intense question from yesterday... LOL.

"WOULD YOU KILL YOUR OWN GRANDMOTHER?!"

not really but really.

uh i would say in sense i AM old fashioned..

but then again i'm mostly not old fashioned.

i like old music and old books, but when i think old fashioned, i think of carbon copies of people.

i'd rather be my own person with my own beliefs and thoughts.

so to answer that question straight forward.. i would say no i am not old fashioned.

i'm gonna go and try to read the econ textbook and sleep...

wish me luck...

~.~

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.10.13

thursday

2:18 am

it was so nice outside... and this weekend is supposed to be 70 degrees...

it's the middle of january.

mother nature. what the fuck are you doing.

nonetheless, i am happy about the weather.

nothing much really happened today... supposedly 20 people died of the common flu in boston this year..

its pretty bad considering the fact that it's just the flu... i guess it spread extra quickly this year...

and yes i just woke up due to my sister's annoyance from yesterday...

thanks to her, my sleep cycle is all fucked up.

oh well.

i still have a week til school starts.

so anyways, alright i got distracted by youtube for like 10 minutes...

alright.

question time.

19.You are holding onto your grandmother’s hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other. Who do you let fall to their death? What was your rationale for making the decision?

HOLY SHIT. intense question.

well i mean... although she is my grandmother, i would have to save the newborn baby...

she has lived a full life whereas the baby wasn't even given a chance.. i think my grandmother would understand. if it were me and the baby on the cliff... i would tell anyone to save the baby instead of me.

the baby probably has more potential to do great things than me... LOL.

maybe the baby might be the next albert einstein or FDR. or the next hitler...

BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.

alright bye bye

forever sighing,

#.#

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.09.13

awkward...

it's 3:57 am.

it's technically the 10th. but you should know that i don't give two shits by now.

i went to sleep at like 7 but then my sister decides that it would be funny to wake me up at 1 am.

so i can't fall back to sleep. and i'm here.

i guess she did help me by waking me up so that i would write this.

but then again. she's a jerk.

lol

tew day... nothing much really happened. doing nothing, just watching movies, and such.

i actually kinda want to go back to school. because at school, i had stuff to do.

despite the fact that it was work. it was still stuff to do.

so yes nothing happened today.

question

18. Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Why or Why not?

uh.. i would give anyone CPR if they were dying...

what kind of question is this?

would someone not do this?

the fact that a person is homeless does not account for anything if the person is dying..

so yea

it's pretty much morning now.

so good morning

forever sighing,

-.-

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

01.08.13

alright.

i missed a lot of days

including new years and my birthday...

but please bare with me here, i was quite busy.

i had a very busy annoying and disgusting break so far.

yes i know, i "enjoyed" spending the holidays with the family.

not.

and by family i mean ALL my extended family.

and i hope i don't sound cynical or crude or malevolent.

i don't just dislike my extended family.

i dislike the whole human race.

with that out of the way.

i have a lot to share with you.

lies lies all lies.

i am definitely not gonna share everything with you.

because i don't want to waste my precious beauty sleep with my summary of my nightmare of a break.

so here it is, my answer to the next question.

and 2013, you're not much better than 2012...

and 2012, you sucked.

and my birthday was ehh. just like any other normal day.

pregunta!

17. If there was one moment and one time in the last month what would you change and why?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA this is like the perfect question for this post.

i spend the whole time complaining about the past month. and voila!!

but if i had to pick a specific moment...

it would be to be more sick so that i would have missed the flight to canada.

omg. that would have been great.

i would have had the whole house to myself.

o.o

i'm really regretting not doing that now.

well i need my beauty sleep

goodnight and goodbye

forever sighing,

@.@

[diary-of-meeeeeee]

12.30.12

I KNOW I MISSED ANOTHER DAY.

GOSH, FUTURE ME. STOP COMPLAINING.

sunday.

7:26 pm

SO FUCKING COLD HERE IN CANADA.

other than that, i am so fucking tired...

i cannot wait for this to end...

cold and tired and hungry do not mix well together.

yesterday was not interesting at all so don't worry you didn't miss much

today was better though.

we did a lot of stuff... but the thing is i didn't have any sleep last night. so NO SLEEP FOR 48 HOURS

so i'm like really tired right now.

we rode the metro, went to the CN tower, was about to go up, but it was 200 fucking dollars so HELL TO THE NO to that, and then took the bus to go to this big ass mall filled to the brim with cranky and out and proud gay people (not that i have anything against that), and then ate food, and took the metro and got home just now.

okay i must admit, it's not that late. but im still tired. don't judge me.

okay time for questions

16. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you?

my mother?? lol although she's going through menopause, i still love her nonetheless.

she's been very cranky lately... but it's a mid life crisis and i understand that. i feel like i'm going through that already. sigh...

well imma go try to sleep

goodnight and goodbye

forever sighing,

z.z