dianitacandradewi

[dianitacandradewi]

seeing you smile is priceless ❤️

[dianitacandradewi]

And because I couldn't feel the feeling I have towards you to someone else. ❤️

[dianitacandradewi]

[dianitacandradewi]

Just received another phone call from the loved one that’s still miles away from me. Well. Communication is the basic of relationship. Miss you. Please come home soon. ❤️

[dianitacandradewi]

Since the first time we met, I’ve been so thankful for all the good and the bad things that happened in my life. It made us meet. It leads me to you.

Him to me.

[dianitacandradewi]

Thank you dear. I love the bag and the watch. But I love you the most🙆🏻💕

[dianitacandradewi]

It is better to marry someone that loves you, than someone you love

Mom said (via citragading)

But it would be the best when it comes to people who loves each other.. 😁

[dianitacandradewi]

New stage of life.

April 3rd 2016

[dianitacandradewi]

Kadang aku yakin, kadang aku ragu

:( (via citragading)

God will show you the way😘

(via dianitacandradewi)

I met my friend today and she share about her relationship. I saw your relationship also. Both of you are steady before developing into a new stage. But my story is a bit different. I am full of worries and instabilities. :(

(via citragading)

I know.. If I were you, I’d feel the same. But believe God’s plan is always the best. Keep praying. God will show you the way. Do not forget to enjoy and cherish every moment because it happens only once. 😘 Anddddd the most important thing. Think positive and positive thing will come. Good luck, sister! ❤️

(via dianitacandradewi)

Just in my mental breakdown mood 😢

(via citragading)

Did something happen to you?

[dianitacandradewi]

Kadang aku yakin, kadang aku ragu

:( (via citragading)

God will show you the way😘

(via dianitacandradewi)

I met my friend today and she share about her relationship. I saw your relationship also. Both of you are steady before developing into a new stage. But my story is a bit different. I am full of worries and instabilities. :(

(via citragading)

I know.. If I were you, I’d feel the same. But believe God’s plan is always the best. Keep praying. God will show you the way. Do not forget to enjoy and cherish every moment because it happens only once. 😘 Anddddd the most important thing. Think positive and positive thing will come. Good luck, sister! ❤️

[dianitacandradewi]

Don’t be pathetic. Don’t be envious. Be thankful for what you have now. Okay. 😉

[dianitacandradewi]

Kadang aku yakin, kadang aku ragu

:( (via citragading)

God will show you the way😘

[dianitacandradewi]

We all want our life goes as how we plan. But believe, God's plan is still the best for us.

Our thought this evening. Lols. See how God surprises us! 😂 @citragading

[dianitacandradewi]

The chance has come. How could I say no?😊

March 27th 2016

[dianitacandradewi]

Something came to me without me expecting it to happen. It was totally surprising me.☺️

March 26th 2016

[dianitacandradewi]

I met a woman a couple days ago. I didn't know her actually. Suddenly she told me the story of her life and then she cried. "I always keep praying and also crying. If this thing didn't happen, I would be in my hometown. In my pray, I always ask God why this happened. And after that I scream and cry again. I just can't accept this. I asked my husband whether he's tired of me or not. He said he's not tired. But deep inside I know he's tired of me. My boss also asked what happened to me and said that hopefully everything would be better soon. I'm feeling ashamed of being troublesome to people around me. It gives me pressure." "Just believe everything that happens in your life is the best thing from God. Maybe worse thing could happen if you were in your hometown right now so God helped you by letting this thing happen to you. Believe that God's plan is better than yours. Rather than being sad or denying everything, you have to be grateful and thankful to God. Many people have been through worse thing than yours. And they still put a smile on their face. So why don't you? I know it's not easy. Maybe if I were you, I'd be angry and sad too. Because we are just a normal human being. But don't let yourself drown in sadness or anger feeling too long. It will just hurt you. Being happy and calm is not for anybody else. Not for your husband. Not for your family. Not for others. But it is is for you. For yourself. And for your own good. You have a husband who always stays next to you, helps you and loves you so much. You even have a boss who always cares about you. So you have to be strong and be happy! Everything will be okay at the end." "Amen to that. I have to believe God's plan is better than mine. I will try. Thank you very much for listening to me. I'm so sorry for sharing my story all of sudden and for crying in front of you." Memang, bahagia dan tenang di suatu kondisi yang susah bukanlah hal yang mudah. Tetapi bahagia adalah pilihan yang terbaik dalam menjalani hidup. Akupun masih mencoba untuk bahagia, mencari sisi positif dari segala hal dan mengontrol emosi (my mom once said that I used to get mad easily in the past, but since few years ago I am not used to get mad easily again. Lol. Poke my mom). 😂 Hope all the best for you, Bu (entah siapa namanya, maafkan saya karena saya lupa).

[dianitacandradewi]

Well, I'm an ordinary human being who also can be tired too. I'm just trying the best that I can do. I fall once, I will stand up twice. I'm lucky to be surrounded with people who loves me so much. Include you! 😘 Semangat, Ciga! I know you are very good at it. Gain more self confidence and trust yourself! Keep trying. Keep praying. 😊

Aku yang tidak kusuka

Aku yakin setiap pekerjaan memiliki tanggung jawab dan kesulitannya masing-masing. Menjadi dokter itu tidak mudah, semua orang telah mengingatkanku, tapi toh ini jalan yang aku pilih sejak aku kecil, bukan jalan yang dipilihkan orang tuaku. Ini jalan yang aku pilih sendiri, sesulit apapun itu, seberliku apapun kelihatannya, aku selalu mengingatkan diriku, ini jalan yang aku pilih, you have to hold on through this. 

Tapi kenyataannya tidaklah semudah itu. Aku mulai menyadari kelemahan-kelemahan yang ada pada diriku. Aku ingin kembali menjadi diriku yang kata orang bright and smart, seperti saat aku SMA. Semakin dewasa diriku, semakin aku menyadari ada hal-hal yang tidak bisa aku lakukan.

Aku mengakui, aku bukan seseorang yang memiliki mental yang kuat. Aku mudah goyah. Cengeng mungkin istilahnya, dibentak sedikit nangis. Aku selalu memikirkan kesalahanku berlebihan, dan berlebihan itu buruk. Semakin lama aku merasa semakin kehilangan kepercayaan diri. Mengapa aku tidak bisa berpikir lebih cerdas? 

Aku tidak tahu dengan orang lain, tapi hal ini terkadang terbesit dalam pikiranku, pada malam-malam panjangku, saat aku benar-benar merasa buruk. Apakah aku pantas menjadi seorang dokter? Ada masa-masa aku ingin menyerah, seperti malam ini, ingin rasanya aku melepas semua ini, tapi terus kuingatkan diriku bahwa perjuanganku tak boleh berhenti sampai disini. 

Dan saat aku merasa buruk, merasa salah, merasa kurang cerdas, aku selalu bertanya pada diriku, apa aku sanggup untuk sekolah lagi? Apa sebaiknya aku berhenti sampai menjadi dokter umum, menikah dan lebih banyak mengurus keluarga? Pertanyaan yang mungkin dialami sebagian besar dokter wanita. Namun ambisiku berkata aku ingin maju, aku ingin lebih dari ini.

Bekerja menjadi seorang dokter itu penuh dengan rasa was-was, mungkin hanya diriku yang merasa seperti itu, tapi aku selalu merasa khawatir. Apa benar terapi yang kuberikan, apa yang akan terjadi dengan pasien itu, semoga pasien itu akan selalu aman. Bahkan dalam doaku selalu kuselipkan, Ya Allah, tolong angkatlah penyakit pasien-pasienku. Rasanya seperti selalu dalam kondisi generalized anxiety. Sampai pernah suatu saat dalam hidupku aku ingin pergi ke psikiater sekedar untuk mencari pengobatan gangguan cemas yang kurasakan.

Dan satu lagi, jangan pernah menghiburku dengan mengatakan aku pintar. Karena aku tidak merasa seperti itu. Aku selalu merasa aku tidak bisa berpikir baik dalam menghadapi pasien. Nilai akademisku mungkin bagus, namun tetap saja aku merasa bukan seseorang yang pandai menghadapi pasien.

Dan kau tahu, aku paling tidak suka diriku yang merasa seperti ini.