just trying to be better. | name's Star | she/her | 17 |
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I gotta value your opinion for you to insult me.
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Little things you can do to upgrade your life
Sit up straight
Walk confidently
Speak slowly and don’t use slang, incorporate new vocabulary.
Think before you speak. Is that TMI? Is that negative? Words are powerful, use them wisely
When someone gives you a compliment, always accept it with a “thank you” even if you disagree
Compliment strangers
Drink a cup of warm water when you wake. It has the same effect as lemon water but it’s better for your teeth
Aim to drink 2L of water a day.
If you drink 30 min before your meal you will eat less. Don’t drink any liquids while you eat or until 30 min after your meal, it’s better for your digestion
Want a flat stomach? Don’t eat anything 4 hours before bed and only eat the size of your fist in carbs per day
Practice mindfulness, notice when your mind wanders and bring your attention back to the present
Meditate 5 min every morning or in bed at night
Charge your phone in the living room at night so you’re not tempted to look at it before bed or first thing in the morning. Plus, you’ll have to get up to turn the alarm off so you won’t snooze
Make your bed every morning
Clutter is mentally toxic, keep only what you need and keep it tidy
Aim to only clean your home for 5 minutes a day. You’ll probably end up doing more. This trick works for anything you don’t want to do
When shopping, don’t buy things the same day. If you still want them after a few days, go back
Always do your best. Always
Forget motivation. Count from 5 to 1 if you need to do something you don’t want to. It tricks your brain. You can also focus on how you’ll feel once you’ve completed the task instead of thinking of the task itself.
Buy fresh flowers for your home.
Pamper yourself. You can do it yourself at home
Get massages. You can get Groupons
Always have manicured nails and toes. Sèche Vite top coat is a must!
Buy nice pyjamas and lounge wear. Look good for yourself.
Listen to classical music when you study and when you clean your home
Listen to music when you drive. While others will be road raging, you’ll be too busy vibing to notice
Use the 50/30/20 rule for your finances. 50% on living expenses, 30% on entertainment and shopping and 20% in savings
Take advantage of banks offering money to open new accounts
Have an emergency fund: 3-6 months worth of living expenses in a high interest savings account
Celebrate every time you get money whether it’s in interest, pay checks or even money you find on the floor. You can just do a little dance. You’ll attract more wealth.
Leave money around your house. It will be a reminder that money is abundant.
Watch only 1h of TV a day and no reality TV
Don’t read gossip magazines/blogs.
Get a library card and read at least one book a month.
Cut out toxic people. If you can’t, try not to be around them as much
Socialize with loved ones a bit everyday even if it’s just a phone call. It’s good for morale
Treat everyone with respect. If someone disrespects you, know that it’s got nothing to do with you and everything to do with them and don’t get caught up in it, keep your composure, you’re better than that
Take up a hobby or two, you’ll be a more interesting, well-rounded person
Listen to podcasts
Try only changing one thing at a time. 3 months of consistency doesn’t mean you’re out of the woods, but it’s the foundation. Don’t be too hard on yourself when you stray. Habits you’ve had for 20-30-40 years will not be easy to change. Baby steps ;)
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life isn't about improving yourself to demonstrate your value, life is about gazing at trees. a tree grows just for the hell of it... I want to grow for the hell of it, too.
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Getting myself together
If you want to be ATTRACTIVE you can be.
-Get up early. Set your alarm and stretch first thing. Then go make some tea.
-Get dressed, do light makeup & go for a walk (Always look your best even if it’s light makeup & your hair is in a ponytail).
-Work out. Even though you don’t want to! Do you think anybody wants to at first? No. How do they get results? Discipline.
-Check off a calendar to feel accomplished after u do these things every day (with a rest day in between. Even then, stay active just go easier—walk).
-Do a face mask 2X a week at the end of the day. Put teabags on eyes to reduce puffiness. Moisturize and use gua sha roller to massage face.
-Sleep to binaural beats music for deep sleep
If you want to be SMART you can be.
-Read portions of a book mindfully and try to retain that information.
-Try to finish 1 book every 2 weeks. The library is your friend.
-Do a crossword in the local newspaper
If you want to be STRONG you can be.
-STOP giving into your emotions & being at their mercy.
-Do you feel sad? Well cry it out, comfort yourself & then get right back to doing whatever you need to further your goals.
-Don’t be an open book. Even if you don’t feel well nobody on the outside needs to know. Don’t give away your secrets. Only ask for help from appropriate people.
If you want to be FRIENDLY & PERSONABLE you can be.
-What would you do if you were drunk/ not overthinking it?
-How others react to you is none of your business. Don’t let them determine your worth/ mood.
-Compliment strangers. Ask for directions. This can lead to small talk.
-Mirror people subtly. Add on to the conversation by asking questions. Wait until the other person is done speaking no matter how badly you want to get a word in.
-Get approached by always looking put together & nice. Even if you’re not, fool them on the outside.
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Identity is a prison! Let yourself respond authentically to each moment as it arrives, without being bound to the narrative of who you think you are! The self is a construct! The truth of your existence is ever changing and infinite as the universe is ever changing and infinite! Abandon the stories of your past selves and be present and alive in this very moment! IDENTITY IS DEAD! THE SELF IS DEAD! YOU ARE ALIVE!
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This is the beginning of my fantasy. The life I want and know I deserve. I’m willing to work for every piece of it and this is where it begins. My dedication to true glamour, fantasy, and maximalism.
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honestly it’s so easy to hate. it’s so easy to kill things or talk badly of yourself. to gossip or numb an emotion. what takes strength is to give. to heal yourself and heal others. to take care of someone- whether it’s a person or a plant or yourself or an animal. put energy into giving instead of taking. to breathe life into something besides yourself. this is what takes real strength.
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How To Be Authentic 🦋⛈️🌸
stay true to the things that you enjoy - make a list.
identify what your core values are.
wear the colours, fabrics, styles and aesthetics that feel like you.
do your makeup and hair the way that you've always wanted it.
practice a mouth-jerk reaction - speak your immediate thoughts to your family + friends.
stop hiding your true feelings.
think about what you want your future to look like - what would a life that is completely in line with who you are, what you enjoy and what you value look like?
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I want to live by myself when I move out of my parent's place but I'm really afraid of money problems? I'm afraid that the only place I can afford will be in the ghetto and it'll all be torn apart and I'll only be allowed to eat one granola bar a week. I'm really stressing out about this. I don't know anything about after school life. I don't know anything about paying bills or how to buy an apartment and it's really scaring me. is there anything you know that can help me?
HI darling,
I’ve actually got a super wonderful masterpost for you to check out:
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants
Getting an apartment
Money
earn rewards by taking polls
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
how to get free therapy
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
how to avoid a hangover
a list of stress relievers
how to remove a splinter
Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency
how to do the heimlich maneuver
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major
how to avoid a hangover
how to interview for a job
how to stop procrastinating
How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking
how to knit
how to stop biting your nails
how to stop procrastinating
how to stop skipping breakfast
how to stop micromanaging
how to stop avoiding asking for help
how to stop swearing constantly
how to stop being a pushover
learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
100 tips for life
Apartments/Houses/Moving
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 1: Are You Sure? (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 2: Finding the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 3: Questions to Ask about the Damn Apartment (The Responsible One)
Moving Out and Getting an Apartment, Part 4: Packing and Moving All of Your Shit (The Responsible One)
How to Protect Your Home Against Break-Ins (The Responsible One)
Education
How to Find a Fucking College (The Sudden Adult)
How to Find Some Fucking Money for College (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do When You Can’t Afford Your #1 Post-Secondary School (The Sudden Adult)
Stop Shitting on Community College Kids (Why Community College is Fucking Awesome) (The Responsible One)
How to Ask for a Recommendation Letter (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a College Major (The Sudden Adult)
Finances
How to Write a Goddamn Check (The Responsible One)
How to Convince Credit Companies You’re Not a Worthless Bag of Shit (The Responsible One)
Debit vs Credit (The Responsible One)
What to Do if Your Wallet is Stolen/Lost (The Sudden Adult)
Budgeting 101 (The Responsible One)
Important Tax Links to Know (The Responsible One)
How to Choose a Bank Without Screwing Yourself (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting
How to Write a Resume Like a Boss (The Responsible One)
How to Write a Cover Letter Someone Will Actually Read (The Responsible One)
How to Handle a Phone Interview without Fucking Up (The Responsible One)
10 Sites to Start Your Job Search (The Responsible One)
Life Skills
Staying in Touch with Friends/Family (The Sudden Adult)
Bar Etiquette (The Sudden Adult)
What to Do After a Car Accident (The Sudden Adult)
Grow Up and Buy Your Own Groceries (The Responsible One)
How to Survive Plane Trips (The Sudden Adult)
How to Make a List of Goals (The Responsible One)
How to Stop Whining and Make a Damn Appointment (The Responsible One)
Miscellaneous
What to Expect from the Hell that is Jury Duty (The Responsible One)
Relationships
Marriage: What the Fuck Does It Mean and How the Hell Do I Know When I’m Ready? (Guest post - The Northwest Adult)
How Fucked Are You for Moving In with Your Significant Other: An Interview with an Actual Real-Life Couple Living Together™ (mintypineapple and catastrofries)
Travel & Vehicles
How to Winterize Your Piece of Shit Vehicle (The Responsible One)
How to Make Public Transportation Your Bitch (The Responsible One)
Other Blog Features
Apps for Asshats
Harsh Truths & Bitter Reminders
Asks I’ll Probably Need to Refer People to Later
Apartments (or Life Skills) - How Not to Live in Filth (The Sudden Adult)
Finances - Tax Basics (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Copy of Your Birth Certificate (The Responsible One)
Important Documents - How to Get a Replacement ID (The Responsible One)
Health - How to Deal with a Chemical Burn (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - List of Jobs Based on Social Interaction Levels (The Sudden Adult)
Job Hunting - How to Avoid Falling into a Pit of Despair While Job Hunting (The Responsible One)
Job Hunting - Questions to Ask in an Interview (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - First-Time Flying Tips (The Sudden Adult)
Life Skills - How to Ask a Good Question (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Reasons to Take a Foreign Language (The Responsible One)
Life Skills - Opening a Bar Tab (The Sudden Adult)
Relationships - Long Distance Relationships: How to Stay in Contact (The Responsible One)
Adult Cheat Sheet:
what to do if your pet gets lost
removing stains from your carpet
how to know if you’re eligible for food stamps
throwing a dinner party
i’m pregnant, now what?
first aid tools to keep in your house
how to keep a clean kitchen
learning how to become independent from your parents
job interview tips
opening your first bank account
what to do if you lose your wallet
tips for cheap furniture
easy ways to cut your spending
selecting the right tires for your car
taking out your first loan
picking out the right credit card
how to get out of parking tickets
how to fix a leaky faucet
get all of your news in one place
getting rid of mice & rats in your house
when to go to the e.r.
buying your first home
how to buy your first stocks
guide to brewing coffee
first apartment essentials checklist
coping with a job you hate
30 books to read before you’re 30
what’s the deal with retirement?
difference between insurances
Once you’ve looked over all those cool links, I have some general advice for you on how you can have some sort of support system going for you:
Reasons to move out of home
You may decide to leave home for many different reasons, including:
wishing to live independently
location difficulties – for example, the need to move closer to university
conflict with your parents
being asked to leave by your parents.
Issues to consider when moving out of home
It’s common to be a little unsure when you make a decision like leaving home. You may choose to move, but find that you face problems you didn’t anticipate, such as:
Unreadiness – you may find you are not quite ready to handle all the responsibilities.
Money worries – bills including rent, utilities like gas and electricity and the cost of groceries may catch you by surprise, especially if you are used to your parents providing for everything. Debt may become an issue.
Flatmate problems – issues such as paying bills on time, sharing housework equally, friends who never pay board, but stay anyway, and lifestyle incompatibilities (such as a non-drug-user flatting with a drug user) may result in hostilities and arguments.
Your parents may be worried
Think about how your parents may be feeling and talk with them if they are worried about you. Most parents want their children to be happy and independent, but they might be concerned about a lot of different things. For example:
They may worry that you are not ready.
They may be sad because they will miss you.
They may think you shouldn’t leave home until you are married or have bought a house.
They may be concerned about the people you have chosen to live with.
Reassure your parents that you will keep in touch and visit regularly. Try to leave on a positive note. Hopefully, they are happy about your plans and support your decision.
Tips for a successful move
Tips include:
Don’t make a rash decision – consider the situation carefully. Are you ready to live independently? Do you make enough money to support yourself? Are you moving out for the right reasons?
Draw up a realistic budget – don’t forget to include ‘hidden’ expenses such as the property’s security deposit or bond (usually four weeks’ rent), connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Communicate – avoid misunderstandings, hostilities and arguments by talking openly and respectfully about your concerns with flatmates and parents. Make sure you’re open to their point of view too – getting along is a two-way street.
Keep in touch – talk to your parents about regular home visits: for example, having Sunday night dinner together every week.
Work out acceptable behaviour – if your parents don’t like your flatmate(s), find out why. It is usually the behaviour rather than the person that causes offence (for example, swearing or smoking). Out of respect for your parents, ask your flatmate(s) to be on their best behaviour when your parents visit and do the same for them.
Ask for help – if things are becoming difficult, don’t be too proud to ask your parents for help. They have a lot of life experience.
If your family home does not provide support
Not everyone who leaves home can return home or ask their parents for help in times of trouble. If you have been thrown out of home or left home to escape abuse or conflict, you may be too young or unprepared to cope.
If you are a fostered child, you will have to leave the state-care system when you turn 18, but you may not be ready to make the sudden transition to independence.
If you need support, help is available from a range of community and government organisations. Assistance includes emergency accommodation and food vouchers. If you can’t call your parents or foster parents, call one of the associations below for information, advice and assistance.
Where to get help
Your doctor
Kids Helpline Tel. 1800 55 1800
Lifeline Tel. 13 11 44
Home Ground Services Tel. 1800 048 325
Relationships Australia Tel. 1300 364 277
Centrelink Crisis or Special Help Tel. 13 28 50
Tenants Union of Victoria Tel. (03) 9416 2577
Things to remember
Try to solve any problems before you leave home. Don’t leave because of a fight or other family difficulty if you can possibly avoid it.
Draw up a realistic budget that includes ‘hidden’ expenses, such as bond, connection fees for utilities, and home and contents insurance.
Remember that you can get help from a range of community and government organizations.
(source)
Keep me updated? xx
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“If they don’t know you personally, don’t take it personally.”
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“You can’t let people scare you. You can’t go your whole life trying to please everyone else. You can’t go through life worried about what everyone else is going to think. Whether it’s your hair, clothes, what you have to say, how you feel, what you believe and what you have. You can’t let the judgment of others stop you from being you. Because if you do, you’re no longer you. You’re someone everyone else wants you to be.”
—
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When Oscar Wilde said to define is to limit, and Kierkegaard said what labels me, negates me.
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[locks eyes with my reflection in the front of the microwave as i dip a spoon into a glass jar of honey] do not delude yourself into thinking you are a kind person. no such thing exists. you are simply someone who has done kind things in the past and who will do kind things in the future. kindness is something you must practice and put effort into as long as you are alive. it is not a state of being, but rather many decisions you make and actions you take throughout your life. to cherish your supposed kindness overmuch is to hurt yourself in the long run, and to hurt others too. labeling yourself a kind person will either blind you to the harm you have brought and will someday bring to those around you, or land you in a situation where you hurt someone, intentionally or not, and immediately fall to pieces as your identity as a kind person is shattered. kindness not something you are. it is a practice. you will fail at it sometimes and people will not always forgive you for it. regardless, you must try your hardest to make kind decisions and perform kind actions as much as you can. this is all any of us can do [puts the spoonful of honey in my mouth and walks out of the kitchen]
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