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The Bible isn't wholesome.

I know lots of people want it to be. People who haven't read it believe it to be pure. It's not. It is a flawed text written by perverse men.

Whenever someone says something sexual and another person says "read the Bible" I think of the Bible passage about the woman groping giant ballsacks and getting covered in semen. Apparently it's a "metaphor for the socioeconomics of the time" but it being a metaphor doesn't make it wholesome.

If you've actually read the damn thing you'd know.

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if you are stinky and wretched please remember to wash your you. then you may still be wretched but at least you won't be stinky.

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lulumoonowlbooks

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I'm as grateful for cellphones as the next person, but sometimes I think about how everyone having a phone on them at all times really did cause us to loose some things as a society. I mean - for example, kids these days will never experience their car breaking down and needing to find the nearest place with a phone they can use. They're never going to have the opportunity to tentatively approach a house only to discover that it's full of queer people having a party hosted by a transvestite to celebrate his creation of a sex homunculus, stay the night, and loose their virginity while unintentionally partaking in cannibalism. It's tragic, that kind of gay sexual awakening just doesn't happen these days because of cellphones.

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i am chronically online but not in a way that others recognise unless they are also an active tumblr user in the year 2023 🫡

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who up feeling like they weren't made for this world

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I think we all need some soup right now. Reblog to give prev a bowl of their favourite soup.

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most important part of the writing process actually is when you loop a single song on max volume and stare at the word document and imagine the characters doing things for 14 hours. this is known as getting in the zone

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An adaptation of Sherlock Holmes set in a world in which the fictional character/literary juggernaut Sherlock Holmes, and all the subsequent adaptations thereof, still exist.

Sherlock Holmes (pronounced Holl-mess, as he is constantly reminding people) just had the misfortune of having parents who really liked the books, and his attitude towards his fictional counterpart is pretty much the same as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

Sherlock runs a Youtube Theory channel called Mysteries Unwrapped with Sherlock Holmes. He has received no less than seven cease and desist letters from the Conan Doyle estate, all of which he has so faded managed to rebuff by pointing out that that's literally his name.

(No he won't change his name. He's Sherlock Holmes the real live human person. Let Sherlock Holmes the non existent fictional character change his name.)

John is Sherlock's flatmate. Sherlock almost refused to live with him once he realised that it would mean staying with a medical student named John, and only gave in once John pointed out that: a) he's a biomedical student, which is completely different from an md, and b) his surname isn't Watson.

It's now been three years, which is long enough for them to have developed a genuine friendship, and for John to have a) started working towards his PhD in biotechnology, and b) for him to start dating somebody with the surname Watson.

Sherlock can feel the narrative closing in.

His Youtube channel is meant to be focused on lost media, fan theories and stuff like that, but he keeps accidentally stumbling upon and then solving genuine crimes.

His brother Mycroft may or may not have chosen that name after he transitions specifically to annoy him.

He doesn't even live in London, but somehow the only flat they could afford was on a street named fucking Baker Street.

Sherlock Holmes and the Unescapable Power of the Narrative.

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esmé disguising as officer luciana was such a solid proof she was capable of acting. she threw dust on the orphan's eyes the whole book, and even when olaf came up as a detective they weren't suspecting that bossy, red lipsticked woman to be the previous guardian who ran away with olaf at the end of the auction

i mean, the baudelaires only found out about esmé's disguise because she took off her helmet in front of them

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Drew a tiny mouse today 🌿

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i dont consider myself a 'fashion guru' by any means but one thing i will say is guys you dont need to know the specific brand an item you like is - you need to know what the item is called. very rarely does a brand matter, but knowing that pair of pants is called 'cargo' vs 'boot cut' or the names of dress styles is going to help you find clothes you like WAAAYYYY faster than brand shopping

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We ask your questions so you don’t have to! Submit your questions to have them posted anonymously as polls.

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Deal

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it should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. like no i shut it off and back on again why are you still here

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The one detail in Penultimate Peril that I will never, ever get over is that Lemony Snicket smokes. He shows up and offers to take away the Baudelaires, and he's smoking a cigarette.

All through the series, fire is the ultimate Bad Thing. The good guys are firefighters and the bad guys are firestarters. Arson is the worst crime. And the Baudelaires' descent into moral ambiguity is shown through them starting multiple fires.

Lemony Snicket might as well be the poster boy for VFD. He was raised in it since infancy. He lost Beatrice because of the consequences of being a volunteer. He has been on the lam for at least fifteen years because of his dedication to it. He lost both of his siblings to it. There are plenty of people in the series who question VFD and its motives, but for all it's done to hurt him, Snicket is very loyal. He does point out some flaws, but not as many as you'd expect.

And yet Lemony smokes. Lemony starts fires every day to feed his own addiction. He carries a lighter or matches with him at all times, just like the villains do. He regularly engages in a massive fire hazard. He says himself that a man who smokes cigarettes is somewhere in between wicked and noble. I want to know how someone so deep in VFD even started smoking.

I think the one thing I am the saltiest about Netflix not including is that. Truly Lemony being a smoker is everything to me.