detectivesholmes

[detectivesholmes]

permission to boop you mr Holmes?

Is this an April Fools' tradition? If yes, I grant you permission.

[detectivesholmes]

It's not heroin, it's oxymorphone. Didn't they teach you the difference in med school? It's not that difficult.

But you can provide chocolate and flowers for me at any time.

Did you get a Valentine's Day gift?

No. I don't need any Valentine's Day gifts. But I got myself my own gift. The gift of a hefty dose of oxymorphone. Much better than any flowers or chocolates could ever be.

[detectivesholmes]

Next time, use tone indicators when you're being sarcastic. It's really hard to tell when someone is being sarcastic online without indicators like voice, pronounciation, or expression.

Did you get a Valentine's Day gift?

I don't think the dismembered goat's heart Sherlock left on the kitchen table was supposed to be a gift. I'm worried about what kind of goat diseases we might get now. But Mariana and I have exchanged a few chocolates. And Archie gave me a big cuddle, that's a gift too.

[detectivesholmes]

Is that sarcasm?

Did you get a Valentine's Day gift?

I don't think the dismembered goat's heart Sherlock left on the kitchen table was supposed to be a gift. I'm worried about what kind of goat diseases we might get now. But Mariana and I have exchanged a few chocolates. And Archie gave me a big cuddle, that's a gift too.

[detectivesholmes]

Don't be ridiculous, Watson. Goat diseases, really? You don't have to worry about any zoonotic diseases like campylobacteriosis, I worked very cleanly. You should rather worry about salmonellosis when you feed those ducks.

Did you get a Valentine's Day gift?

I don't think the dismembered goat's heart Sherlock left on the kitchen table was supposed to be a gift. I'm worried about what kind of goat diseases we might get now. But Mariana and I have exchanged a few chocolates. And Archie gave me a big cuddle, that's a gift too.

[detectivesholmes]

Did you get a Valentine's Day gift?

No. I don't need any Valentine's Day gifts. But I got myself my own gift. The gift of a hefty dose of oxymorphone. Much better than any flowers or chocolates could ever be.

[detectivesholmes]

Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Holmes!

I don't care about Valentine's Day. It's a day like any other. Just because the patron saint of love got beheaded on the 14th of February doesn't mean that I'll feel pressured to buy someone flowers. A beheading would be more fitting. Give me a case, maybe then I'll care about it.

[detectivesholmes]

More than 100 followers in just one week. With just two posts. You lot are easy to please.

[detectivesholmes]

John released part one of our latest case into the wild. I think he called it The Gloria Scott.

I have not listened to it yet. I hope he included my most important deductions. I might listen to it while experimenting with this sheep's liver.

[detectivesholmes]

John convinced me, or rather pestered me, to join this social media website. He told me that the listeners of his podcast want to see me here. One listener has been particularly persistent. I think John called them something along the lines of a chaotic frying pan. Whatever that means. So here I am. Don't make me regret this.