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desperatepenguin722 · 5 years ago

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Just A Drink (Patton x Virgil)

Hi all! This is the second part to the first Patton x Virgil story I wrote, Take A Breath! This can be read as a standalone, or accompanied by the first part! Hope y’all enjoy!

TW: Drinking

“Come on! It’s just one drink! Then you can go back and dwell in the cave you call a dorm.” Roman walked alongside Virgil, or rather, was attempting to, as Virgil walked ahead.

“I already told you no. Don’t you have rehearsal to get to?”

“Patton will be coming.” Roman smirked. Virgil felt a slight blush creeping up his neck.

Ever since the afternoon Patton and Virgil had fallen asleep after Virgil’s panic attack, they hadn’t spoken much. Not on Patton’s part, of course, he’d been trying to talk to Virgil everyday whenever he saw him. Virgil, on the other hand, had been entirely avoiding the dog-loving man. It’s not that he was mad at him, quite the opposite in fact. After they’d woken up together, after Patton had called him beautiful, and held his face in his hands, those soft, gentle hands, Virgil had looked over to the sleeping man, and felt something in his heart that he hadn’t, well, ever. But, then he remembered why they had been in that situation, and he didn’t want to put that onto Patton. So, he would avoid him until those feelings went away.

“So? I don’t care who’s going.” He paused. “Patton doesn’t drink.”

“Designated driver.” Roman singsonged. With a sigh, Virgil shook his head.

“If I tell you maybe, will you leave me the hell alone?”

“Yes!”

“Fine, then maybe, now leave.”

Roman squealed, kissing Virgil’s cheek, flipping his hood down.

“Wonderful! See you this evening my dark mooded friend!” With that, Roman skipped, quite literally, towards the building his rehearsal was being held in. Virgil shook his head as he watched him go, he truly had no intention of going, after all.

***

Virgil flipped up his hood, walking out of his Biology lab, feeling lighter than when he’d first entered after having his unfortunate conversation with Roman. He loved science, he found the facts and truth in it to be comforting, and never ceased to be amazed by the complexities of the human body or the things it could discover and do. As he walked, he let his mind wander, watching as the sun began to set, despite it only being around six. That’s one of the reasons he loved the colder months, aside from no one judging him for wearing a hoodie and long pants all the time, not that he really cared what anyone judged anyway. Did Patton like the fall and winter months, too? He could easily imagine him in a soft, red sweater, some black sweats, and fuzzy socks, maybe with a mug of hot cocoa, perfectly snuggleable-

“Stop, will you stop, please?” In a moment of frustration, he hadn’t realized that he had just shouted at himself. Out loud. The two students passing gave him a look of vague concern before hurrying on their way, presumably afraid. He sighed, why couldn’t he get Patton out of his head? Perhaps, he thought, he was going about this the wrong way. Maybe if he could convince himself that Patton wasn’t as good as he’d been romanticizing himself to be, he could break this spell the man had seemed to put him under. Plus, he was tired of showering at Thomas’, who was the only person that knew about this predicament. Virgil had sworn Thomas to absolute secrecy, threatening him with things much worse than death if he breathed a word to anyone. Truthfully, he didn’t think he’d tell, but he had an image to keep up.

Making his way up to his room, he began to form what he thought to be the best courses of action for the evening, to finally rid him of his infatuation.

***

“So, a photon checks into a hotel.” Logan starts, suppressing a laugh. He was half a beer into the night, and quite obviously tipsy, so he’d suggested they all begin telling jokes, him starting, of course. Patton, Roman and Thomas were all listening, rather amused, waiting for him to continue. “The bellhop asks if they can help with the luggage. The photon replies, “I don’t have any, I’m travelling light”.”

Silence follows the punchline, as if the boys are waiting for more from the joke. Logan, however, bursts out laughing, extremely pleased and amused with himself and the joke.

“You...you get it? Because...because photons are...a particle representing a quantum of light or other electromagnetic radiation? And…and a photon carries energy proportional to the radiation frequency, but- but has zero rest mass?”

“My dear, clever friend, no one thinks that that joke is-”

“You guys started telling science jokes without me?”

A wide smile spread across Roman’s lips at the sight of Virgil, who, for once, wasn’t hiding deep within his black hoodie. Instead, he wore a form-fitting black, crew neck tee, a pair of black, ripped jeans, and all black, leather Converse. His eyeliner looked freshly done,as opposed to its typical, smudged state. For him, this was extremely dressed up. Roman wasn’t the only one to notice, it seemed, as both Thomas and Logan nodded approvingly at the outfit. Patton furrowed his brows a little, pausing a bit longer on the bits of exposed thigh and leg.

“Yes! Finally! Someone who can appreciate a good sense of humor!” Logan clapped Virgil on the shoulder, moving over and making room for him in the booth. Amused, Virgil glanced down at the half-empty Corona.

“How much have you had to drink?”

“Oh, that’s his first one.” Thomas took a small sip of his green margarita, lime, Virgil guessed. “It’s good to see you, Virgil. I didn’t think you’d make it.”

“Yeah, well, I forgot where I put my keys after I, uh, ran an errand. So, Patton’s my way into the dorm.” He cringed internally, knowing how rushed and half-thought-out it sounded. If anyone noticed, no one said anything. “Besides, who’d want to miss out on this wonderful little spot?” Sarcasm dripped off every word as Virgil spoke, looking around the small dive-bar the group had found when they’d first moved on campus. They’d been too young to drink then, but now, three years later, it’d become mainly Roman’s favorite establishment to inhabit. Not because he necessarily liked to drink, but simply because he could get the drinks for free. At least, he thought he could.

“Won’t your legs be cold?”

Virgil turned to Patton, who wore a look of concern, similar to the one he’d worn the day he’d fallen asleep in his arms…

“What?”

“The tears.” Pushing his glasses up, Patton motioned to his ripped jeans. “Won’t your legs get cold?”

“I-”

“Yeah, and what happened to your sweatshirt?” Logan leaned forward, slurring slightly, having just finished his drink.

“It was dirty. Why is everyone so concerned with me? I came here to drink, not to be questioned.”

“Aw, it sounds like someone’s had a crummy day.” With an ever present smile, Patton slid the drink menu across the table. “Believe it or not, kiddo, their milkshakes are super yummy.” Unsurprisingly, a strawberry milkshake is exactly what Patton happened to be drinking.

“I don’t want a milkshake.” He tried to keep his voice firm, and ignore how the tenderness, the simple innocence that was Patton made the walls around his heart begin to crumble. No, he wouldn’t let himself fall, not again. “I’ll have whiskey on the rocks.”

Before Patton could voice his concerns, the waiter had nodded and rushed off to fill the order. Virgil avoided his eyes, turning to Roman.

“So, got any jokes, theater boy?”

***

The night progressed, well, it progressed. After two more Coronas, Logan had fallen asleep, snoring softly as he slept on his folded arms. Roman had challenged Thomas to an arm wrestling competition, and lost terribly. Virgil had had one drink, then another, and was on his third glass of whiskey. With every drink, he attempted to swallow down more and more feelings. He’d downed his entire second glass after Patton had pulled his sleeves to cover a majority of his hands, and leaned his head to the side, giving Virgil a curious look. When Patton looked into his eyes, he felt terrifyingly seen, and for someone that tried to fade into the background as much as possible, his entire body rejected this with a passion. Hence, the disappearance of the whiskey. The more he drank, the stronger and harder to ignore the messy-haired man’s feelings became. Virgil, as it turned out, didn’t necessarily become obnoxious when he drank, he just, well, spoke more. He’d shared stories about his childhood, and about his first dog, Winter. Roman, though trying to listen, kept getting distracted by the tiny umbrella in his drink, and proceeded to giggle at it for twenty minutes straight. Thomas was only slightly tipsy, the second most sober, after Patton of course. Patton didn’t seem to be bothered by this, though, listening to everyone’s stories, jokes, and advice with a smile. Nothing ever seemed to knock away that smile.

At eleven, Patton’s phone rang out with a pre-set alarm. “Alright, kiddos, let’s pack this show up and head out, we’ve all got class in the morning.”

“No, I want some more tiny umbrellas!” Roman whined, sadly pouting as Thomas began to drag him from the booth.

“I promise I will buy you a hundred tiny umbrellas some other time, okay, sweet prince?” Roman sighed, nodding at Patton.

“C’mon.” Logan hardly stirred as Thomas and Roman wrapped their arms around him, helping him out of the booth and getting him to Patton’s car. Virgil, though, still sat in the booth, watching as Patton fumbled for his keys. Through slightly blurred vision, Virgil couldn’t help but admire how handsome Patton was in those ever-falling-down glasses.

“Hey, Pat?” Patton turned his attention to the man still sitting in the booth, tilting his head a little to the side.

“Yes, Virgil?”

“You- y’know that you’re really-”

As he leaned forward as he spoke, Virgil found the ground approaching much faster than he expected, especially considering he hadn’t expected it at all. He would’ve gotten well acquainted with it, had it not been for Patton’s quick reflexes.

“How about we finish that thought in the car, honey, hm?” Patton patted Virgil’s shoulder before wrapping his arm around it, leading him outside. Honey? That was new. The simple word spun around Virgil’s already-twirling head, soon making him unsure if the swaying in the ground could be attributed to that, or to the drinks. He concluded it was probably a mixture of both. That, and how close Patton and he were pressed together until they got to the car.

Soon, with only a little difficulty, all five boys were loaded into Patton’s 2013 Lexus. Patton, of course, was in the driver’s seat, glancing up in the rear view to check on the three boys all leaning on each other in the back, Logan in the middle, completely asleep once again, Roman snuggled under one of his arms, Thomas leaning on his other shoulder. Virgil sat in the seat beside him, head leaning on the window, eyes lazily blinking as he watched the streetlights pass. Soon becoming bored with his view, the dark-haired boy slowly turned his eyes to Patton, and though his tongue felt heavier than lead, he tried to get out what he’d started earlier at the bar.

“Hey- hey, Pat?”

Patton nodded, looking over at the red light. “Yes, Virgil?”

Virgil leaned over, getting close enough to see the definition between each eyelash covering Patton’s smooth, chocolate eyes.

“You wanna come back to my place?”

“Virgil, we live in the same dorm.” The younger man blinked, nodding a little, then chuckling, slumping back to the passenger side.

“Oh, oh yeah.”

***

After everyone had been taken to their dorms (some having been nearly dragged), Patton was helping Virgil get to theirs, his earlier offer still fresh on his mind.

“M’so tired.”

“I know, kiddo, let’s get you in bed.” As Patton helped Virgil to his bed, the boy chuckled a little, causing Patton to cock his head to the side, kneeling to remove his shoes. Virgil shook his head a little.

"Why do you call everyone kiddo?"

"Well, I, uh, I just do." He smiled a little, a soft blush forming on his cheeks. "I like taking care of people, you're all my kiddos."

The last line wiped any smile from the younger man's lips, a gentle frown finding its way there instead.

"But- but what if one of us wanted to be something different?" Patton chuckled.

"Like what, Virgil?" He swallowed a little, catching Patton's eyes and holding them as he spoke.

"Like yours."

There was a beat of silence between them, Patton's hand still slowly removing Virgil's shoe. He cleared his throat, standing, grabbing and wetting a washcloth before returning to a still waiting Virgil.

"I think that's something that we should talk about in the morning, honey." He sat next to him then, gently taking off his eyeliner, holding his chin delicately with his free hand. Virgil tried not to tremble beneath his touch, feeling every ounce of any alcohol-fueled courage he had slowly dissipating. Now, he just wanted to sleep.

"I-I can do it." He attempted to grab the cloth from Patton's hand, all while avoiding his eyes.

"It's no worry, I'm nearly finished-"

"Patton." Virgil cut him off, firmly taking the cloth. He willed his voice not to betray everything he was feeling, taking a deep breath in attempts to keep it steady. "P-Please, just let me do it."

Wordlessly, he did. Making his way to his side of the small room, he glanced back at Virgil once, heart aching. But, morning would come soon enough, and he repeated that until he was tucked in bed and shutting his eyes, praying that it was true.

***

Patton awoke to the sound of groans coming from his bathroom, familiar groans. After a moment, he peeled himself out of bed, heading towards the noise, sleepily rubbing his eyes. When he got to the bathroom and opened them, there kneeled the groaner, head resting on the lid, curled up. Patton took quick action, assembling all he could to try and get a hangover cure. He grabbed Gatorade, tea, Advil and a comfy sweater, laying them all on Virgil's bed before heading back to the bathroom. As to not scare him, he spoke softly, making sure to make it clear that he was there.

"Hey, kiddo. How're you doing?"

"I'm never drinking again. Why do people do this?"

Patton chuckled, kneeling beside him, lightly rubbing his back. "To forget. Or to remember."

Virgil furrowed his brows, looking over to him. "Jesus, Pat."

Patton smiled, standing him up, flushing the toilet and helping him brush his teeth. Virgil's face quickly flushed, and embarrassment filled him. He didn't remember most of the night before, and strongly disliked being so heavily taken care of now. But, he didn't object, part of him truly reveling in Patton's touch, part of him feeling too sick to overthink. After they were both settled into Virgil's bed, Virgil drinking a Gatorade and Patton getting Netflix loaded, Virgil looked over to Patton, watching him. He watched as his brows furrowed in concentration, the scar above his right brow twitching slightly. He admired the man so deeply, he had to know if he said anything he shouldn't have, if it was too late to go back.

"Hey, Pat?" Not looking up, but nodding, Patton responded.

"What's the haps, kiddo?"

"Did I say anything…weird last night?"

Without any hesitation, Patton shook his head a little. "No, kiddo." Looking up, he smiled softly, hoping Virgil couldn't see what was hiding in those eyes. "So, how does Lord of the Rings sound?"

#virgil x patton #thomas sanders #sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders

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desperatepenguin722 · 5 years ago

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Take a Breath (Virgil x Patton)

So, hello all!

I’ll keep this short, this is the first story that I’ve posted in quite literally years. It isn’t Hamilton, but A Sanders Sides fic :) It’s a bit fluffy after a bit of roughness, and I’m hoping to make this a series :)

With that, I hope you enjoy, let’s jump right in!

TW: Panic attacks, anxiety, mentions of confrontation

* * *

Virgil knew it was going to be cold, but he didn’t realize it was going to be this cold, not that the weather was the largest source of Virgil’s discomfort. Chilly October winds stirred up all of the worry he was trying to bury deep within his subconscious. Why couldn’t he just have remembered what he studied the night before? He didn’t study the six hours before the exam for nothing, and now he was definitely going to have to drop his Sociology course, and then probably out of college. What about yesterday when he was studying when he forgot to tip that waiter at the coffee shop that was really working hard and being especially sweet? He surely hated him and could never go back to that coffee shop ever again, even though it was the one place he found a small reprieve from the outside world of, people. Then, there was earlier when he had bumped into a football player rushing across campus who had cursed heavily at him, he was, of course, going to get jumped or berated again sometime in the future, he just knew it.

By the time the dark-eyed boy arrived at his dorm, he was barely breathing, hands clenched (but somehow shaking) so bad that gripping the rail to trudge up the stairs seemed impossible. He, though an atheist, prayed to whatever higher power that he could at least have some alone time to try and get himself together. Or wallow in a curled up ball for a few hours. Upon opening the door, Virgil’s disappointment and nerves grew as he was met with his (unfortunately) cheery dorm mate, Patton.

“Hey there, kiddo!”

Bright. Everything was too bright. Patton’s smile, his voice, the blue polo he religiously wore, the lights in the room, everything. Why Patton referred to him, well, everyone as kiddo was something Virgil would never understand. He didn’t spend too much time pondering, trying to avoid any conversation by shutting the door and going immediately to pack a bag. Maybe the library would offer a small getaway? It wasn’t like he had another choice. He couldn’t stay here, not with sunshine there “happily” working on one of his many scrapbooks. He threw the bag down on his unmade blankets, not that there was really much to make up. He kept it minimal, easy to control; one black fleece blanket, a grey sheet, and one pillow with a black pillowcase.

“Virgil?” There was a tinge of worry in his voice, and Virgil could hear him close the scrapbook. “Is everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” Even he didn’t convince himself, he didn’t really care. Hands still shaking, frustration grew as the bag’s zipper kept slipping from his fingers.

“Hi, fine, I’m Patton.” He chuckled quietly to himself for a moment, Virgil huffing in response. Why did he always have to be so- there? How come people got to be that cheery all the time and he was stuck- like this? It wasn’t fair.

In a moment of irritation, the anxious boy threw the bag in a corner and sat on his bed, back against the wall, bringing his knees to his chest and resting his head on them. He knew Patton was staring, but his head was spinning too heavily to allow him to care about that. Stupid. He was stupid. He never should’ve gone there in the first place knowing there was a chance that he would be there. Maybe everyone was right, maybe he did really just want attention with all of this. Is that was he was doing now? Was he even really anxious? That’s exactly why he was in the situation he was in. He thought too much.

“Hey now.” The bed dipped, Virgil’s chest tightening even more as Patton scooted next to him. “Bad day?”

“Go away.” He murmured between breaths. He could feel himself disassociating, dangerously close to being entirely consumed in the dark parts of his mind like he often was in these situations.

“I’m not going anywhere.” His voice remained soft, and calm. Almost irritatingly so. “Why don’t you tell me what’s wrong?”

“You wouldn’t understand.” He knew, though shakey, his tone was sharp, and he had a moment of regret before returning to his impending mental doom. The room was quiet for a moment, nothing but the sound of the small radio playing classical music from Patton’s nightstand.

“I could try.”

Virgil was, to say the least, surprised. But, he still had his guards fully up. People in the past had only wanted to know about his anxiety to ridicule him or tell him it was all in his head, and though Patton had never seemed like the type, Virgil could never be too careful.

“It- it would be pointless to- just-” Speaking was becoming increasingly more difficult as he felt farther and farther away from his body. “Leave m-me alone.” He curled into himself tighter, tears brimming behind closed eyes. Why couldn’t Patton have just had class and left him to do this alone?

What felt like hours, though it must’ve only been minutes, passed in an interesting silence. Virgil couldn’t tell, or remember, if his roommate had left, but he wasn’t able to lift his head to see. Suddenly, everything felt warmer, and a light weight settled around him. A literal weight, this time.

“You were shivering when you walked in.” Patton tucked his blanket in around him. “This usually warms me up when a cold day nips at my nose.” Virgil took a deep breath, taking in for a moment the warm, clean smell of what was most likely Patton’s favorite red fuzzy blanket. It smelled...safe. It smelled like Patton.

“T-T-Than-” He tried to get the word out, but it was too much. He had to admit, he did feel a bit more grounded by the blanket, admittedly, he did enjoy how the soft material felt between his fingers.

“You betcha. Now, can you try picking up that head for me?” A difficult request, but Virgil was too exhausted to try and argue. That, and, for whatever reason, he didn’t exactly feel like fighting this. Slowly, he raised his head, knowing his face must’ve been a mess of tear-streaked black eye shadow and eyeliner. Blinking slowly, he began to adjust to the brightness of the room. Still tense and everything a bit fuzzy, he sighed, looking to Patton. He was holding...a washcloth, raising it slightly.

“Is it okay if I touch your face?”

Virgil nodded, shutting his eyes again. He was never a fan of people being that close to his face. The cloth was warm and damp, Patton’s gentle disposition extending to even his touch as he cupped Virgil’s cheek with the hand that wasn’t wiping the rest of his face. Unlike initially, this silence was comfortable. It was understanding, and...accepting. Gentle. However, Patton still being Patton meant it didn’t last long.

“Roman sometimes gets pretty worked up after a rough rehearsal. This is definitely not the first time I’ve wiped makeup and tears off of a beautiful, adorable face.” A light blush found itself rising to Virgil's cheeks, his shoulders relaxing a bit. Patton thought he was...beautiful?

“R-Roman’s always dramatic.” He was starting to get his words back, which was always a relief. Though typically a quiet individual, he never liked not having the ability to speak. He opened his eyes and found Patton’s always-present smile softer than usual. He hummed as he gently wiped his cheeks.

“Our little drama prince. There.” The now cool cloth was taken away and both boys were left for a moment in silence and close proximity. Virgil had never noticed the small scar above Patton’s right eyebrow. He wondered how that could’ve happened.

“You know, your eyes are the best shade of brown? Like an oak tree on a warm summer day.” Virgil quickly averted those eyes, blushing harder. No one ever really looked him in the eye, or looked at him at all. He wanted to return the compliment, to tell him how kind his smile was, or how soft his hands. But, the words just couldn’t come together, they never seemed to be able to.

“Thanks, I guess.” Smooth.

“Of course! Now,” Patton excitedly held up his copies of Lilo and Stitch and Princess and the Frog, “Which one should we watch?” Virgil, slightly confused, shook his head.

“I-It’s alright, Pat. I don’t need Roman’s...aftercare routine. Probably just some-”

“Coffee? I’ll get some going in the Keurig. Nonsense, everyone deserves some Disney after a hard day!” Virgil couldn’t argue with that smile, and he even found a small one creeping onto his own lips. A rare occurrence, as Logan would say.

“Lilo and Stitch. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it!” Patton, carefully, jumped up, starting Virgil’s coffee and grabbing his laptop from his bed. Minutes later, the two sat on the messy bed, a nest of blankets, stuffed animals, and snacks surrounding them. Virgil looked down at the mug of coffee in amusement, Patton had chosen his Nightmare Before Christmas one. The familiar sound of the Disney intro began playing from the laptop, and Virgil took a deep breath, taking in everything that had just happened in the last hour or so.

This was the first time he wasn’t alone in and after an attack, and the first time one had ever felt...valid. Patton hadn’t tried to get him to “snap out of it” or “stop being so dramatic”. He had just taken care of him, like- like he wanted to. Virgil would never understand it, and at the moment, he didn’t try to. He just let himself be taken care of.

Halfway through the movie, his coffee hardly touched, he felt his eyes grow heavier and heavier until finally, he let them close. Just for a few minutes…

***

“Why are you taking a picture?” Logan asked in confusion as Roman snapped another shot of Patton and Virgil asleep, cuddling. It made no sense to take a picture, nothing remarkable seemed to be happening.

“Because I have been waiting for this for forever! My one true pairing has finally come true! Oh, Logan, I could just kiss you!” Roman giddily whispered. Logan cocked a brow.

“Don’t.” He turned back to the pair, smiling a bit to himself. “I do have to admit, they are fairly-”

“Adorable? Perfect? Meant to be?”

“I was going to say compatible.” He nodded to the door. “Now, let’s leave before you wake them up.” Roman nodded and snapped one more picture before making his way to the door with Logan.

“Logan?”

“Yes?”

“I don’t believe I’ve ever seen Virgil without eyeliner, have you?”

Logan stopped at the door, turning back to study Virgil.

“No. No I have not.”

***

#sanders sides #virgil sanders #patton sanders #virgil x patton #thomas sanders #fanfic

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