deschained

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oh my god i haven’t been here in an age. uh. i have a twitter and im being an adult? i also had too much to drink and started watching avengers endgame for the first time, ama

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@lazeroctopus

Are dey helium drifloons?

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people have exhausted me to such a point that i just want to ...exist, near someone who doesn’t exhaust me, and soak up their energy like a leech

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sometimes when im drunk i browse netflix and remember i’ve rewatched the stargazing scene from the lighthouse of the orcas at least 10 times and am forced to take another drink because god damn that’s a lonely thing to do

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happy hannukkah all! i went fuckin WILD this lovely sunday and made me a batch of brownies AND got roaring drunk

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I can’t believe I actually lived though the full transition from VHS to DVD. Like there are people alive who have never seen a VHS tape….I remember when we were still tryna figure out how the fuck they got a full movie onto a cd. 

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@lazeroctopus

cooking site, 10th paragraph of page titled “rustic pulled pork recipe”: my grandfather’s childhood was tough. every day he had to work the mines. he was only 6 months old when he held is first pickaxe.  As he crawled into the mine elevator, just a little baby boy of one, he-

me, growing frantic: resippy

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“Finally, to the woman who truly got me this award, who just stands in front of me every day and puts up with me.  She said, ‘If you propose to me, I’ll punch you clean in the mouth.’  I don’t have the words, I don’t have the time - neither of which would do you justice, Keri Lynn, except thank you.  More to come.”

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How do you wish it would end for your characters?

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poor john so in love with a straight guy

i want to lie down and DIE

me: haha im impenetrable now. i only watch outlander to fill time. i dont care. 0 emotions.

john gray: willy still remembers you jamie: does he?

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

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me: haha im impenetrable now. i only watch outlander to fill time. i dont care. 0 emotions.

john gray: willy still remembers you jamie: does he?

me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH

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things i need outlander to stop doing:

1. stop having every other female character call claire a whore

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i got drunk and watched a bunch of english dudes cook things on youtube

if i told 18 year old me 25 year old me would be doing this she would have had a stress attack and died

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i wish my boss wouldn’t send emails yelling at the staff (and specifically not yelling at me) at 9:45 pm because i’m stressed out enough as it is

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Greta Garbo and Elizabeth Young in Queen Christina, 1933.