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Is this chirpie??

ぼく、シマエナガ。@daily_simaenaga シマエナガのクレープ屋さんはじめました。

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WELL, he did have you a lot of ideas how.

IM SOBBING AND SCREAMING ABOUT THIS ALONE WHERE IS THE KAISHIN CORNER I CAN SCREAM AT THIS IS ABSURD LMAO I WILL MURDER THAT MAN

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same, the third thought that came to me when i heard the news. need to save them up

I'm not scared of the Kaishin cousin reveal, I'm scared of my favorite writers and artists deleting their works or just straight up delete their entire blog.

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yeah, did not expect waking up this morning and see this fucking news

kaishin nation i am so, so sorry

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Everything, Everywhere, All at Once in one sentence:

When the whole family problems and issues has finally come out of the open air, you made it a crisis for everybody in the various multiverse

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I'm on my "i care too much about shit" phase

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Oh my god, thank you for asking the right question.

Like almost 80% of the time i talk to my friends, things about boys will always come up on, like every effin time. I don't know why, and i cant relate to it much. So i always end up being silent.

“I think men are lovely, but I don’t think that women should relate everything they do to men: Did he hurt me, do I forgive him, did he put a ring on my finger? We women are so conditioned to relate everything to men. Put a group of women together and the conversation will eventually be about men. Put a group of men together and they will not talk about women at all, they will just talk about their own stuff.”

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Source

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So.

Hi, it's me again. Surprising myself of 2 posts in one day. Like haha, who is this fucker.

I'm just triggered with the Benedict Cumberbatch's The Imitation Game. Quite an old film and yet I just watched it. Don't judge me, I barely watch stuff these days. Misguided with the belief that most films are just too generic these days, with the repeating formulas that just sucks any will for me to do a mile and watch them.

Anyway, so the movie. I was already spoiled beforehand that he was gay, thanks to the whole experience with the Stranger Things' Will Byler. I was not informed however of his, hmm, how should I phrase it, his...

(a few minutes searching the internet)

Aha! Asperger's Syndrome. In the movies at least, since one comment on the internet told me not to rely much on what the movie portrays as they may not the historically accurate, so whatever.

I was not expecting that but then again, I'm already accustomed with Benedict Cumberbatch playing roles of geniuses with some baggage so it was easy to adjust. Anyways, I quite like his character in the movie that's all I'm going to say to it lest I get the wrath of others.

So, the movie played on a present, past, backstory, past, present manner. And it was quite enjoyable. And I just really like how they foretell the whole thing of top secret program and yeah.

It just got too much for me when it reached about the last parts. How he was sentenced because of him being gay.

One thing I never really liked from touching any historical fiction is that it's going to touch the subject of women's inferiority, and nope, let's just not. As a woman myself, I don't like it. Like, who proclaimed for us to be someone that is below the male gender? Why are they entitled to be the ones who are our masters? Because they're stronger? They're smarter? Because some religious scripture narrated that they were created first? It's just this whole mentality that I fuckin hate. Because clearly, evidences in history found the relevance of women in everything that happened, and I won't even enumerate them all, you could just search it on the internet and you'll see for God's sake. And the fact that without women, children won't be nurtured for the next generations to come (and to support the asses of men). Women have so much importance as much as a man does in the grand scheme of things.

So I watched the movie, how Keira Knightley, a smart and competent woman, restricted to being part of this team just because of her gender. Because of decorum or some shit. And I was like, oh my god. Not this shit again. Thank the heavens Alan knows his shit and saw past someone's gender. I really liked how they became the bestest friends.

I really like the friendship because it is a bond among people who are oppressed, disregarded, and looked down upon by society. Because during those times, gay, homosexuals were frowned upon and is also illegal, as we saw clearly later on in the movie. It just, disgust me how illogical the human being is. And I just keep on asking the question, why do we punish those who are different?

I seriously lost it at the part where it Joan visited Alan after years and learned of him on "Hormonal Therapy" and saw how it was degrading him. It reminded me of that scene in Keeper of the Lost Cities where Sophie was subjected with shackles on her mind because of her abilities. Like why? It's not like they can help can they? It's just so fucked up that we are so afraid on something different that we create laws to indicate of how illegal it is for them to exist. Just like how women were prevented from doing work because they were not males. I just don't get it. Because clearly it was those who were different and changed the course of history. If it weren't for a woman, there would be no internet, if it wasn't for Alan Turing, the development of AI technology and computational science would have not reach their recent heights. JUST WHY ARE WE PUNISHING PEOPLE FOR BEING WHO THEY ARE AS A PERSON?!

I get it, there are just simply characteristics of a person that would be unfavorable, but man, can we I don't know look at their contribution to the greater good? Why are we so focused on enforcing this similar, plain, boring individuality into each other when clearly someone who is different changes the world? When clearly, someone who thinks differently are the ones responsible for innovations?

Just why do we have to judge a person's being, their personality, their gender, their sexuality, their race, history, when we could all just focus on their contribution to society, to the greater good that we all reach for? Why can't we be like that?

I'm just so sick of it. I'm very sick of it. But then again, who am I to judge, who am I to advise when I'm just as rotten as this human society that I am ranting and criticizing about. I don't have any right, thus I have no standing to state this. And maybe that's why there's no progress, no change, because we can't accept the words of our fellow humans that we all suspect to be hypocrites of their own beliefs. Why we believe in God/s, on a higher being.

Sometimes, I really, really wish to be not actually human, and I can say these things freely. But the contradiction is, it is because I'm only human that I can see this. (Additionally, it also raises the question, does the end justify the means? Fuck, I walked right into that.)

Hahaha, how laughable the human existence is.

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When you wake up at 6 in the morning and reading a poem about leoklein (because fuck, why are there a lot of reminiscing about the ending of book 1) and read this poem

‘Here in the street,

The gold that no grey can dull.

Your eyes that shone,

Like the light behind each downpour.

Signaling a warmth to be found,

In the houses, and in you.

Here in the warmth,

So mundane, so intimate.

Like the shining sun after a lonely April pour,

The fact that you’re near.

I hope to ask, for permission to hide away with you,

From the solemn downpour.

From now and ever more.

But the sun came to fast,

And gone was my excuse, splendors unspent.

Then the flood came,

As sudden as it always did.

And now once again,

I am an outsider.

Watching the warmth from lit houses.

In the lone street with none to call mine.’

From: In the rain with you by V762 in ao3,

And then realized that I'm really in the fandom for these poems, and the angst. And I'm just like, why can't I escape this angst hellhole?

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I just learned yesterday that Pikachu, my favorite Pokemon, was originally designed not by Ken Sugimori (he only finalized the design), but by a female graphic designer named Atsuko Nishida. 

Also after googling her, I found out that she’s also designed Sylveon–another favorite PKMN of mine. She’s also illustrated some very pretty Pokemon cards!!

Thank you Ms. Nishida! :-) May you get more credit and love for your contribution to the Pokemon franchise.

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Currently hating everything, especially my existence right now.

I don't wish to be someone else, nor do I want to be modified to a better version of myself. Because either way, there's suffering whatever you do, what you are in this circle of life. Nothing really changes no matter if you change something.

Sometimes I long to give up, to just do it and end everything. But I'm too proud to do it. I don't want pity but I long for help. I'm annoying aren't I? The human person is such a complex being or maybe that's just me and whatever is wrong with me hahahha.

Just need to let that out.

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Isekai with male protags: "I was a loser on earth but now I'm super fucking strong and gettin mad bitches"

Isekai with female protags:

Reincarnated princess uses earth knowledge to make magitech a thing and romances sad girl

Girl romantically pursues her video game waifu

Girl is tasked to teach actual fucking gods to be more empathetic to humans

Woman reincarnated as the daughter of a magic item crafter uses earth knowledge to advance her trade

"Straight" girl is sucked into a world with zero men and lesbians everywhere and finds out she's sapphic (there's like actual plot but the gay is what matters.... to me)

A ghibli film. Need I say more

Woman reincarnated in video game as doomed villainess desperately tries to change her story

Girl reincarnated as a tiny baby spider kills monsters to level up

Like the male protag one but the lame guy's mom got isekaid with him and she's the op one.

Two normal girls fight urban legends in terrifying danger dimension

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As much as I loved An Zhe...

Lu Feng's handsomeness (look at that face, that face, and those fuckin eyes, the coldness burns and I like it *mad cackle*) and coolness is the thing that kept me going.

Sorry little mushroom. But I love you where it counts.

little mushroom » the arbiter, lu feng.

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I'm tired... Why can't some people understand that?

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I just realized that chronicles of Narnia, Alice in wonderland and wizard of oz are Isekai. Like wtf?

What other classical lit are Isekai?

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It just very baffling how I finished 2 books in the span of 2 weeks when I barely even read any of my tbr list. Like what the fuck is up with that?

Anyways, I think my reaction about First-Class Lawyer is already quite late, since ei already finished another book already, so I should start with that.

First-class lawyer wasn't really something I planned to read. I saw it in passing ages ago, from angieloveshua who gave it under recommendation. What caught my eye by that time was Po Yun, which I had already finished (and just realized never managed to make a post about it, the sheer plot with that is still driving me mad and my love/hate/love relationship with one of the characters still bothers me til this date).

Anyways, First-Class Lawyer was oomph. The plot was wow, just wow. It wasn't pain-numbingly boring, as what I always thought when it comes to lawyers and I agree with that comment that if you ever read it, you'll want to be a lawyer (but we know at this point the difference between fiction and reality 🙂). First-Class Lawyer delivered to me a futuristic world full of intertwined events that were all part of one big plot. The mystery were sometimes kinda predictable but I was hit by the end some chilling revelations that I did not expect (the sweeper was a freaking chilling character like holy shit). I also loved how they opened my eyes when it comes to court proceedings. It was interesting to delve on the strategies lawyers take up to defend their clients. However, it did not show much about the shadier sides of lawyers, about how defending a known guilty person to reach a not guilty plea and victimize one lawyer even. While yes, it showed Yan Suizhi and Gu Yan taking cases where they defend clients who they knew weren't innocent, but it sweetens this event and showed how they made it seem they got away with it but still met justice (kinda optimistic in the real world). But I'm not gonna delve deeper on that because it fiction (and I should not apply much the rules of reality to the world created by an author creating a world different from.the reality we live in, respect and all). So I'll end with that

And now we come to the real and central part of this story. Zhe Romance 😎.

At first, I thought it was going to be a slow-burn, but after some revelations from our dear Young Master Joe, the fall was fated to happen.

I had some qualms with Teacher/Student relationship because I kinda see a teacher as someone's second parent. Additionally, I'm bothered with the age difference. The novel did downplay the age difference a bit, making Yan Suizhi a young and promising lawyer, youngest First-Class Lawyer ever, so he's probably around his late 20s when he became a teacher to a 18 year old Gu Yan? Correct me if I'm wrong. (Honestly, the novel muddled my brain from figuring out their age difference, so correcting me clears up this great mystery). However, there were still the power dynamics. I already tasted dom/subs lit before, but honestly got turned off if it ever blossomed into a relationship. So I was guarded how the author will play this power dynamic between the two.

And then, I saw they switched it up?? So the teacher undercovered as a disciple and the disciple became the teacher?? But sometimes, the intern behaves like his former self and the student allows it but doesn't bow to him?? And, it blew away the teacher/student dynamics. What I saw was how a close senpai and his kouhai interact, basically imagine 2 people who are friends but one is older than the other. It doesn't really feel teacher/student at all. And that was refreshing. The story did dabble about how uncomfortable it is about their previous relationship of being a teacher/student but both agreed to, not per say forget about it, but rather not delve deeper to it and affect their relationship. It was mind-blowing, and allowed me to regain my interest in teacher/student relationship.

Gu Yan. Gu Yan, Gu Yan , Gu Yan. How could anybody hate this adorable person. He has a cold exterior but within that is a very soft interior. He may act harshly and not pay attention you when you speak. But you could always rely on him when it really needs. And this tenderness ways is showed to the world when he interacts with Yan Suizhi.

Sigh. Gu Yan is something else. The sheer amount of pinning our dear Gu Yan had for his Dean Yan has been contained for so long, (10 fuckin years (although some demon pinned for 800+ years but we don't compare in this post, we all honor their pinning no matter how long, what matters is their feelings)), and the fact he still restrained himself, no matter how near that person was. He clearly prioritized Yan Suizhi, and made exceptions, although quite inappropriate, so that he could be comfortable despite living under a different skin. He was very considerate and his care towards the person he love was chosen. And god, the fever chapter was so satisfying.

But me liking Gu Yan doesn't refrain me from loving the troll. Yan Suizhi is a very amusing MC. His self-confidence is downright laughable that I kept on laughing at god knows what hours as he believed his acting was damn good, unknowing that his student already cracked his identity before one month ends (I'm not sure exactly when Gu Yan figured it out). And the way he solved his problem freely without thinking much of other's perception, just how he is being his unrepentant self is exciting to watch. He's humor is something relatable and the way he behaves with the people around him, how he teases everyone, especially when he's in a bad mood, is just golden. Their faces, I can't stop laughing.

But, what I valued the most the whole time is his interaction with Gu Yan. The way his guard is lets down, that's when he see his true self. Because, the way he treats everyone in the novel (about 3/4 of the story) still require some acting, since he's supposed to hide it in the first place. The only times he could be himself is when he's alone with Gu Yan, and he does that unconsciously. He found Gu Yan comfortable, and after some flashback, has felt this way for quite some time even back in their teacher/student days. Just the way Gu Yan acts differently from the people around him attracted his attention to him and everything falls to place.

Yan Suizhi is enclosed by this mystery. No one in his circle could ever pierce that bubbble, and neither could we, with how little the author gives about his past until around half of the story(?). And we learned that he put everyone within arm's length, never letting them too close and lives with that great of anonymity for quite a long time. And, I could relate with that. No one knowing who you are and settling to die with the fact that no one would never know you (I'm remembering Klein now as I type this).

We saw how Gu Yan slowly peeled layer after layer of Yan Suizhi and loving those parts unconditionallh. I cherished the point where Yan Suizhi slowly shared himself to Gu Yan, allowing one person to know his story, willingly share a part of himself to Gu Yan and that was beautiful. We slowly learn of him as he slowly started to depend on Gu Yan. And we saw this person, who has always been independent and alone find someone he could depend on.

And that's just sweet and what made me stick knowing their ending, a seemingly fairytale that I always wanted to have but will never deserve.

Besides the main ship, the side ship are worth screaming for. Joe and Ke Jin, I didnt saw the potential but after realizing and learning of Joe's feelings made me root for them finding a cure more. Like, my man has spent 3 years (probably more, not certain) in the company with the guy he loves, however, in silence. But he still stuck, and even studied psychology to tend his daily needs. Now I wonder why I didn't saw that with that much dedication. And seeing them together at the end felt satisfying seeing Joe be with the person he loves not being addled by a mental burden. I see a hint of George and Zhao, but I'm not sure if I'm interpreting things or there's a possibility there. Also, I want Eunice and Laura too.

I should probably end it to that. Just realized I amde a fuckin essay. Sorry if it's a bit too long to read, but like I said, don't like it don't read it. This is just me trying to be unrepentantly myself. God knows I need a bit of Yan Suizhi's self-confidence.

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FANTASTIC NEWS!!!

Now excuse me as I engorge this beautiful manhua while reading the book, ALL AT THE SAME TIME!

Sigh, having the book and a manhua is heaven.

I've officially lost faith in humanity.

I can't believe the artist of Little Mushroom is being forced to quit after book one of the manhua because cn fans keep bullying them because they don't like their art.

This art! THIS!!

Dude I would sell my soul in a heartbeat to have this kind of artstyle!! Like I don't know what more people want because this right here is one of the most breathtaking artstyles I've ever seen