demonic-rubber-duck

[demonic-rubber-duck]

Crowley

[demonic-rubber-duck]

use a carriage

this is so awkward because Pestilence seems to have come back out of retirement this year so now there is FIVE Horsemen and only FOUR Horses

[demonic-rubber-duck]

Clueless angel? Oh yeah

[demonic-rubber-duck]

It’s that story I’ve been telling! Vandal! Here’s a link to part one if you want to support and share but don’t want to reblog such a long post <3

New story starting next week! Posting every Tuesday! A week early on patreon! go team xx

[demonic-rubber-duck]

aziraphale and castiel could NOT hang out bc aziraphale is a snob and cas knows fucking nothing about high culture spends all his time with two guys who definitely made him watch south park and has never been to a nicer restaurant than MAYBE ruby tuesday’s. working class angel hero. sorry about this post

[demonic-rubber-duck]

GOD MADE TRANS PEOPLE FOR THE SAME REASON HE MADE GRAPES BUT NOT WINE WHO ARE WE TO DENY THIS DIVINE ALCHEMY OF THE SELF?

[demonic-rubber-duck]

it never hit me how shortsighted Heaven is until i realized they put a Principality (whose entire raison d’être is to protect places and people from harm) in charge of Earth, and then were genuinely surprised when Armageddon came and said Principality went absolutely off-the-grid feral trying to stop it

[demonic-rubber-duck]

Folks let me talk about Crowley and sunglasses, because I have a lot of emotions about when he wears them and when he doesn’t, and Hiding versus Being Seen.

We’re introduced to the concept of Crowley wearing glasses even before we’re introduced to Crowley, by Hastur: “If you ask me he’s been up here too long. Gone native. Enjoying himself too much. Wearing sunglasses even when he doesn’t need them.”

Honestly Crowley’s whole introduction is a fantastic; we learn so much about his character in a tiny amount of time. The fact that he’s late, the Queen playing as the Bentley approaches, the “Hi, guys” in response to Hastur and Ligur’s “Hail Satan”. I like this intro much better than the one originally scripted with the rats at the phone company, but I digress.

Crowley wears sunglasses when he doesn’t need them. Specifically, he still wears them around the demons, and when he’s in hell.

You know where Crowley doesn’t wear glasses? At home.

We never once see him wearing glasses in his flat, except for when he knows Hastur and Ligur are coming. That’s an emotional kick to the gut for me. Here’s one of the only places Crowley’s comfortable enough to be sans glasses, and when he knows it’s going to be invaded he prepares not just physically with the holy water, but by putting up that emotional barrier in a place where he wasn’t supposed to need it.

An argument could be made that Crowley actually never needs glasses. We’re shown that it’s well within the angels’ and demons’ powers to pass unnoticed by humans. Crowley and Aziraphale waltz out of the manor in the middle of a police raid, and going unnoticed by the police takes so little effort that they can keep up a conversation while they stroll through. Even an unimaginative demon like Hastur apparently doesn’t have trouble with the humans losing it over his demonic eyes. The humans in the scene at Megiddo are acting like “this guy is a little weird” and not “holy shit his entire eyeballs are black jelly”

That means that Crowley’s glasses are a choice, just like Aziraphale’s softness. Sure, he could arrange matters so that nobody ever noticed his eyes, but he doesn’t want to. Crowley wants acceptance, and he wants to belong, and he’s never, ever had that. He didn’t fit in before the Fall in Heaven, he doesn’t fit in with the demons in Hell. With the glasses, and with the Bentley and his plants and with the barely-bad-enough-to-be-evil nuisance temptations, he’s choosing Earth. This is where he wants to fit in, perhaps not with the humans, but amongst them.

Even after Crowley is at his absolute lowest, when he thinks Aziraphale’s dead and he’s on his way to drink until the world ends, he takes the time to put a new pair on when the old ones are damaged. He needs that emotional crutch right now, even with everything about to turn into a pile of puddling goo he’s not ready for the world to see his eyes.

Which is why I swore out loud when Hastur forcibly takes them off.

It’s about the worst thing that Hastur could have done. Rather than leading with a physical threat, his first act is to strip away Crowley’s emotional defences. It’s a great writing choice because god it made me hate Hastur, even more than all the physical violence we see him do.

It’s also the moment that Crowley really truly gets his shit together, and focuses all of his considerable imagination on getting to Tadfield and Aziraphale to help save the world. He’s wielding the terrifyingly unimaginable power of someone who’s hit rock bottom and realised it literally could not get any worse than this. He doesn’t put another pair of glasses on after discorporating Hastur, and he spends the majority of the airbase sequence without them.

He puts them back on again, I think, at the moment that he really lets himself hope. When he thinks ‘shit, there may be a real chance that we get through this to a future that I don’t want to lose’.

The vulnerability is back, and he needs Adam to trust him. In Crowley’s mind being accepted by a human means he needs to have his eyes hidden. Someone give the demon a hug, please.

Interestingly, there’s only one time in the whole series that we see Crowley willingly choose to take his glasses off around another person. Only one person he’ll take down that barrier for, and even then he’s drunk before he does it.

Dear God/Satan/Someone that makes my heart ache. Crowley’s chosen Earth, but he’s also chosen Aziraphale. He’s been looking for somewhere to belong his entire existence, and it’s with the angel that he finally feels it.

When the dust settles and the world is saved and they finally have space to be themselves unguarded, I like to imagine Crowley takes off the glasses when it’s just the two of them; the idea of being known doesn’t scare him quite so much anymore.  

[demonic-rubber-duck]

Unconditional love is a terrifying thing. 

[demonic-rubber-duck]

can you imagine just being an angel and your main field agent on earth he’s been down there for six thousand years and like… he’s a bit of a strange one, like? he’s gotten really into the human thing, has this humansona and this humansuit that he doesn’t just wear all the time, but he like… maybe sleeps in? and eats stuff through? and all this gross stuff? and that’d be one thing if he was doing it like, once or twice, just to see what it’s like, but he’s full on living like a human, which is super bizarre

but you know, he gets his work done, right? sure, he’s a bit frivolous with the old miracles there, and to talk to him he’s highkey super bizarre and seems to ask a lot of questions while pretending he’s not asking questions in the strangest way possible, but except for reminding him to be aware of a bit of restraint now and then, he’s a fairly sound guy

and you know what? he used to be a fuckin general in the war, so the guy’s allowed a bit of a strange turn, no? flaming sword and everything, and he was one of the guards at eden, so he’s earned his right to go a bit funny in the head

and then

and then

it turns out that for six thousand years, he wasn’t just a bit eccentric at all, he wasn’t just being a little frivolous

he was embezzling miracle money to help fucking hell, and do bad stuff as well as good ones, and also he gave away his fucking flaming sword and INVENTED WAR, and he was lying to everyone’s face for six thousand years like. just because he’s shtupping some demon?

what the fuck, aziraphale?

what the fuck?

[demonic-rubber-duck]

I love how Aziraphale and Crowley each give off the vibes of being both The Normal One and The Weirdo in their relationship, depending on circumstances.

Like, one minute Crowley's like "it's a bicycle angel, ffs, you're scaring the human", and then the next Aziraphale's all "did you just drown a duck, Crowley?!"

I dunno, I just like to imagine people in Soho (and later the South Downs) talking to each other and getting increasingly confused because half of them have seen Aziraphale scolding Crowley for gluing coins to the pavement, or rescuing him from himself the 99(thousand)th time he's decided to do something insanely stupid because it's Cool™️ and are like "that Mr Crowley is a real wildcard. Good thing he has Mr Fell keeping him from getting into too much trouble."

And then the other half have just seen Crowley trying to explain how modern slang works to a willfully ignorant Aziraphale for the 99(million)th time, or having to quickly yank him out of the road because he's just walked straight into moving traffic, and are like "Mr Fell is a time traveller from about 1853, and Mr Crowley is the only reason he's survived this long in the modern day."

And then, after a while, people get to know them more and gradually come to the conclusion that "oh right, they're both insane."

[demonic-rubber-duck]

Happy 30th Anniversary to Book Omens!! (on May 1st) hugs and kisses to my favorite book~~ and cuddles to all of us right now u-u9

Tip Jar: Kofi / Paypal :)

Transcript under cut:

Keep reading

[demonic-rubber-duck]

Another art request 💜 Reverse AU - Angel Crowley arguing with his plants

[demonic-rubber-duck]

[demonic-rubber-duck]

I’m convinced this is the moment Crowley fell in love.

[demonic-rubber-duck]

this concept has been torturing me for weeks so you all have to suffer it too

[demonic-rubber-duck]

I can’t get over the fact that both Aziraphale and Crowley desperately try to protect each other, but do so in opposite ways. 

Aziraphale, who is afraid of falling but even more afraid of what Hell might do to Crowley, tries to protect them both by pulling away, putting distance between them, even straight up putting an end to their relationship if he thinks he needs to.

Crowley, like the hopeless romantic he is (not that he’d ever admit it), is on the the other hand constantly working on the idea that so long as they’re together, he’ll find a way to make things work. He’s always on guard, circling Aziraphale ready to protect him, he wants Holy Water so that he’s ready to fight back, and straight-up tells Aziraphale to run away together, even if it’s completely stupid and suicidal, because that’s all that matters to him.