demi-not-a-god

[demi-not-a-god]

Okay, so... You know how they always tell you to enjoy your college years, because they are the best years of your life, I get the feeling that phrase is one of those “incomplete quotes” that people always mistake for meaning something else. Like how people use “Blood is thicker than water” to say that your bonds with your family are the most important, but in reality the quote is “The Blood of the Covenant is Thicker than the Water of the Womb” which basically means the exact opposite. I feel like the new quote should be “Enjoy your college years when you can, because they are the best and worst years of your life.”

[demi-not-a-god]

Imposter

I stand in the mirror

Icy green eyes stare back

I look to own eyes

I look over me

In my head they look like snakes

I see them wrapped around my neck

I see them ready to squeeze

My brain twists

My flesh contorts

My stomach turns

My eyes tell lies

My ears deceive me

My mind cannot comprehend truth

Maybe truth cannot comprehend me

Perhaps there is reason

Perchance a way out

Preferring to climb

Preparing to strike

Purposefully leaving me here

Proposing a new direction

Probably making me choose a better way

Of course there must be another way

On the road that I must walk

Or there would be only desolation

Only a whisper in the wind

Over a fallen mind

Oxygen escaping the lungs

Of a body hosting a trapped soul

Soulless

So much easier would it be

Soulless

So much kinder could it be

Soulless

So much I envy those who are

Soulless

Try to tell me what to do

Try to get me to calm down

To only see the broken mind

To only hear a broken sob

Try to save me

Try to hold me

To lose me to the depths of myself

Even so I press on.

Ever an optimist I was

Exhausted I stand

Embarrassed I may be

Eventually we all have to rise

Exclaim our simple phrases

End our own wallowing.

Revive

Restore

Repurpose

Redo

Restructure

Retry

Re-evaluate

Restart.

[demi-not-a-god]

No, kids should not have unsupervised acess to the internet.   Yes, I got that and it was the best thing that ever happened to me.    Its a paradox.

[demi-not-a-god]

I really hate the secularization/tumblrifying of Saint Joan of Arc. like y’all really do not understand her at all

[demi-not-a-god]

hi school system, can you please actually educate us about queer topics and history at school, as well as identities within the community, and also like autism and adhd and things like that... BEFORE we reach the age where 60-70% of people become super ableist and transphobic???? idk just a thought, dont worry too much about it tho /s

&

[demi-not-a-god]

7 most adhd moods

–the Only Mood everyone else knows about: i  wanna do THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and THIS and–SQUIRREL

–galaxy brain: i was listening to the lecture but the prof said something that reminded me of something else and now i’m not sure how much time i was lost in thought

–the tutorial only comes in video format: i’m sorry, but you’ve thrown off the emperor’s groove *hurls product & its tutorial video into the sun*

–damn you hyperfocus: i went to bed intending to wake up and write but this morning i was possessed by a cleanliness spirit and spent the next 14 hours organizing the apartment

–i dont think u tried at all.jpg: did i seriously spend an entire free day refreshing twitter b/c i didn’t want to spend 10 minutes finishing my hw but wouldn’t let myself do anything else until i finished it???? (yes)

–patrick star: *unlocks phone* time to check the weather. *opens twitter* the weather. *opens messenger* the weather. *opens mobage game* the weather. *opens facebook* the weather. *opens twitter again* THE WEA–

–smells like depression: literally everything is too boring. i’m going back to sleep

[demi-not-a-god]

people: put your laundry on your bed that way you’re forced to put it away!

me: bold of you to assume I wont either a- push it onto the floor or 2- sleep in it

[demi-not-a-god]

Revelations

[demi-not-a-god]

learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

[demi-not-a-god]

learning that self depreciation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

[demi-not-a-god]

💀 ADHD Sensory Nightmares 🎃

- food textures

- odd socks

- dishes/cleaning

- clothing tags

- repetitive beeps etc

- damp clothes

- perfume

- showering

- too many noises at once

- bright lights

- loose hair

- sitting still

- music too loud

What would you add to this list?

#sensorynightmare #ADHD #Neurodivergent #JennHasADHD

[demi-not-a-god]

we’re gonna be ok btw

[demi-not-a-god]

My Boss's Kid: "My mom always says you can't just blame everything on ADHD."

Me: "Well yea, except for things that are directly impacted by ADHD."

[demi-not-a-god]

Not a video game on the Gameboy color telling me that I'm foolish and rush into things recklessly, making mistakes that cause me anguish.

I mean it's right but it still hurts.

[demi-not-a-god]

things get better slowly. you’ll wake up and you won’t feel an aching dread in your chest, but feel lighter. you’ll start to notice little things that make you smile: sunlight, soft pyjamas, hot tea, biting into fresh fruit. you’ll seek out these things, and your life will get warmer and fuller. day by day. you may still have days where you can’t get out of bed, but they’ll be fewer - small dark spots in a world of colour. if things aren’t too good yet, please remember that recovery is slow. show yourself some kindness. you deserve it.

[demi-not-a-god]

Send this to ten other bloggers that you think are wonderful. Keep the game going, make someone smile!!! 🌸

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