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ughhh shark week is kicking my ass :'( my tummy is so hurty and i can't turn up the heating pad anymore its maxed out sobbing,,,,,,,,
#little moth spotted#pain stuff barely helps me as well ugh its the worst qwq at least its snowing real bad so i don't have to grocery shop today sigh#my kins don't deserve my period cramps so i'm forcing them onto my partner's kins#sorry kacchan but i'm in so much pain i can barely move and i'm so nauseous i cant eat so you're gonna take all my pain#and make me feel better qwq pls i'm so hurty waahhh tummy hurts so bad
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hmmm do i go to bed early (doomscroll), keep gaming at my computer, or is it floor time? so many options, and so much time to waste sigh
#little moth spotted#its been a minute since i posted lol#anyway i got abandoned and all my friends are busy and honestly its just making me kinda sad and tired so i might just go to bed early lol#or play DR1 on my switch or smth idk im tired enough that sounds like the superior option#:') its my comfort series ngl
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i got the hiccups right befkre bed and its already been like 20 minutes and they wont go away in suffering 😭😭😭
#little moth spotted#no because why do i alway get these weirdly long hiccup spells?? are my lungs broken??#they're always so painful too and i have no idea why 💀 like should i be worried? or what lmao
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desperately craving a kiss on the forehead smh, what am i just supposed to go kiss deprived or smth???
#little moth spotted#been a minute since i posted anything 💀 but yknow been kinda too depressed lately to much of anything lol oops#anyway i miss my partner wahhh milky i miss you qwq also i wish we could hangout all day today i'm so sad ugh#i'm a litol obessessed with my partner but its fine i keep a healthy distance so they don't get overwhelmed uwu lol#anyway time to get up
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god i really wish i didn't have insomnia i'm so tired lol
#little moth spotted#saying it again is weird but im so tired and honestly super stressed and currently having a fun little sobbing sesh on the livingroom floor#idk whether to find it funny or sad that i've never had a Christmas time i liked#i said i'd hangout with pals if they were free today but i think i'm just gonna not do that i think i'm gonna do what i do every other year#cry all day and not talk to anyone because i'm just so emotionally drained lol i hate Christmas so much i wish i didn't have to celebrate it#if anyone asks no its not 5am and yes i did sleep just fine
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just made the best egg drop soup of my life, i will never be able to replicate it ever again lol
#little moth spotted#this seems so silly but i'm vegetarian and also i really hate cooking so whenever i make really tasty food it makes me happy lol#anyway i used onion soup mix and added a bit more seasonings like white pepper mushroom seasoning soy sause with a litol toasted sesame oil#wahhh it came out SO flavorful and tasty it needed a litol salt but other than that it was perfect#i wilted in some spinach before adding the eggs and topped it with green onion and chili oil for some extra zing lol#explaining this makes it seem like i enjoy cooking but i really dont! my partner has encouraged me to experiment with seasoning#and its helped me enjoy cooking a litol bit more so thank you to my beloved milky#unironcally would starve if not for me thinking of them telling me to eat oops ^^; tbh the only thing i messed up is i overmixed the eggs#like a fool 😔 but its still tasty so texture is less creamy but its fine#anyway i've ranted about this TOO LONG i was just so excited that food was tasty today lmao
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feel gross today ughhh wish my body was the way i wanted it to be but its not :') and it bothers me so so much
#little moth spotted#its the gender dysphoria for me :) am i right gamers?#its never that bad for very long but sometimes i feel super gross and uncomfortable in my body and it turns into me overthinking so badly#i get real depressed about it lol at least i'm deku shifted again so he makes me feel a little better ^^; at least one of us is masc enough#to cope with this body lol i should really dress more androgynous/masc instead of feeling uncomfortable to be open around family :')#it shouldn't matter to me but it does
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saw Wicked the other day and went to the mall yesterday (technically) and now i am si so tired and i wish i could sleep normally lol
#little moth spotted#insomnia really is just like 'god wish all this tiredness translated into sleepiness' but it never does so you just fuck around until its#morning and hope you feel rested lol#anyway imma try and get some sleep cuz i have now made plans to LoL later with my beloved partner and their work friend#its 1am but idk if i need to i can take a nap later before LoL plans but we'll see ^^; g'night
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the desire to get top surgery is immense rn 💀
#little moth spotted#lowkey its eating me alive and ughhh yeah idk its so rough being transmasc enby and wanting to be masc and androgynous at the same time but#still wear cute femme clothes cuz you like dresses smh is that weird? idk man like i can't talk about it with my friends not cuz they#wouldn't support me but cuz i feel so awkward about it lmao like ugh i kinda am considering going on T but im also like but would that kinda#fuck eveything up if i wanna wear dresses or cosplay femme characters?? idk i overthink everything and all my trans friends are qwq transfem#so i have no transmasc frens to consult about T and top surgery hhhh its so rough out here man idk im tired
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i've been too tired to do anything but star rail updated the other day so i pretty much just did that all day yesterday 😔 anyway Sunday is my new husband sigh
#little moth spotted#its lowkey awkward cuz i kin Robin (need to add her to my list smh) but he is just far too sad and pathetic like a small wet dog for me to#ignore that man sigh like his story makes me wanna take him in so bad ughhh at least he gets a fun litol redemption arc amd joins the team#that's pretty nice honestly but anyway i'm sure most people were more excited about the room event lol which was pretty fun#i ended up speedrunning everything in like 5-6 hours i think? the event part only took me like 2-3ish hours of that i was so tired lmao#anyway i miss my beloved milky sighhhh but at least we have plans tomorrow to LoL with their work friend thats nice
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ignore that last post i felt better after i ate dinner amd watched some comfort media, no crying happened lol
#little moth spotted#crona shift makes me so anxious especially if i feel unclean and i don't really wanna unpack that rn or ever so :)#anyway i self cared super hard and then i started drinking while playing LoL whoch i really do not recommend unless you wanna lose#and you're just trying to have fun lol but yeah i feel better now :] so that's nice#anyway time to maybe play one more game? idk im so tired now lol that game was lile 35 mins
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time to eat dinner and watch a comfort show and idk cry lol idk i'm tired
#little moth spotted#idk what the comfort show will be yet i think i wanna watch over the garden wall but it might end up being tangled again 💀 we'll see#it could even be arcane or helluva boss again i'm emotional and sad waahhh need to enjoy fixations to feel better#gonna put my phone on silent for a bit cuz i'm so anxious i feel like i'm gonna throw up ugh so annoying#anyway 😔 dekushift is gone ots cronashift now sorry deku
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oof feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack
#little moth spotted#i know why i'm panicking so badly but i cant fix it like i cant make the feeling of failure and fear that i'm a bad manipulitive persom idk#how to make those feelong go away idk how yo not feel gross and horrible all the time idk what im dking im so scared everyone hates me and#are just puttinh up wyih me bevause they just pity me and feel bad im so pathetic hhhhhhh honestly im just sorry for my loved ones havjng to#deal with me must be so stressful
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getting back into LoL is so fecking weird like what is the meta??? what am i even doing??? 💀 i haven't played in years and it was with friends a couple of times lmao i feel like a stupid baby gamer again
#little moth spotted#my friends keep saying i'm so weird for playing alone but then won't play with me like lmao ??? okay then game with me if you care so much#another friend was like “i'll get back into it for you” which is nice at least :3c teach me the meta idk what i'm doing#imagine going into a game and knowing the meta instead of just maining one character and then panicking when someone takes them#couldn't be me (don't look at how many hours i've played overwatch or valorant and DO NOT look at who i play the most <3)#anyway time to go play LoL main one character never learn anyone else and then cry cuz idk the meta or remember how anything works
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i accidentally took a nap watching Mint stream I Spy like a fool and forgot to do the dishes BUT IT'S FINE cuz i did them and now i can sleep waahh so tired
#little moth spotted#no because tell me why i pass tf out to any stream i watch from my fave vtbers??? am i okay lol???#also for some reason i feel super nauseous but its gonna have to be whatever rn cuz i'm so sleepy i can barely stay awake rn#anyway time to pass out and hope my cats don't knock smth over at 5am again waking me up waaahh ^^;
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impulse installs LoL so i can see my Arcane blorbos in game and stare at them for hours (i'm normal about Arcane and am not coping poorly YOU ARE)
#little moth spotted#this is partly a joke partly serious btw i have played LoL before with pals and i'm so down to play again but it better be in a group#and i better have at least one carry in our team cuz i will not be good enough to do anything but cry and get confused lol#but also i am installing it and my friend 🧸 immediately started installing as soon as i said i would 💀💀💀 bro why tho you said someone#would have to pay you 10k to play LoL lmao anyway its fine i can probs rope a few other pals into too <3#we suffer as a group or no one suffers ya feel me?
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waahh idk if i'm ready to rewatch Arcane with my partner so soon qwq i'm so excited and nervous but the ending is so gonna make me cry again!!!
#little moth spotted#timebomb really has me in a chokehold rn i can't be normal about them BUT ALSO UGH JAYVIK I'M SOBBING QWQ ITS SO ROUGH OUT HERE#my only surviving ship is caitvi ughhh which is nice qwq but i'm still sad about it weeehhh#gonna just have to read so much fanfic to cope i'm devastated#anyway hopefully my partner replies soon!!! so we can start and finish season 2 all in one day!!!
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