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just made the best egg drop soup of my life, i will never be able to replicate it ever again lol
#little moth spotted#this seems so silly but i'm vegetarian and also i really hate cooking so whenever i make really tasty food it makes me happy lol#anyway i used onion soup mix and added a bit more seasonings like white pepper mushroom seasoning soy sause with a litol toasted sesame oil#wahhh it came out SO flavorful and tasty it needed a litol salt but other than that it was perfect#i wilted in some spinach before adding the eggs and topped it with green onion and chili oil for some extra zing lol#explaining this makes it seem like i enjoy cooking but i really dont! my partner has encouraged me to experiment with seasoning#and its helped me enjoy cooking a litol bit more so thank you to my beloved milky#unironcally would starve if not for me thinking of them telling me to eat oops ^^; tbh the only thing i messed up is i overmixed the eggs#like a fool 😔 but its still tasty so texture is less creamy but its fine#anyway i've ranted about this TOO LONG i was just so excited that food was tasty today lmao
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feel gross today ughhh wish my body was the way i wanted it to be but its not :') and it bothers me so so much
#little moth spotted#its the gender dysphoria for me :) am i right gamers?#its never that bad for very long but sometimes i feel super gross and uncomfortable in my body and it turns into me overthinking so badly#i get real depressed about it lol at least i'm deku shifted again so he makes me feel a little better ^^; at least one of us is masc enough#to cope with this body lol i should really dress more androgynous/masc instead of feeling uncomfortable to be open around family :')#it shouldn't matter to me but it does
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saw Wicked the other day and went to the mall yesterday (technically) and now i am si so tired and i wish i could sleep normally lol
#little moth spotted#insomnia really is just like 'god wish all this tiredness translated into sleepiness' but it never does so you just fuck around until its#morning and hope you feel rested lol#anyway imma try and get some sleep cuz i have now made plans to LoL later with my beloved partner and their work friend#its 1am but idk if i need to i can take a nap later before LoL plans but we'll see ^^; g'night
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the desire to get top surgery is immense rn 💀
#little moth spotted#lowkey its eating me alive and ughhh yeah idk its so rough being transmasc enby and wanting to be masc and androgynous at the same time but#still wear cute femme clothes cuz you like dresses smh is that weird? idk man like i can't talk about it with my friends not cuz they#wouldn't support me but cuz i feel so awkward about it lmao like ugh i kinda am considering going on T but im also like but would that kinda#fuck eveything up if i wanna wear dresses or cosplay femme characters?? idk i overthink everything and all my trans friends are qwq transfem#so i have no transmasc frens to consult about T and top surgery hhhh its so rough out here man idk im tired
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i've been too tired to do anything but star rail updated the other day so i pretty much just did that all day yesterday 😔 anyway Sunday is my new husband sigh
#little moth spotted#its lowkey awkward cuz i kin Robin (need to add her to my list smh) but he is just far too sad and pathetic like a small wet dog for me to#ignore that man sigh like his story makes me wanna take him in so bad ughhh at least he gets a fun litol redemption arc amd joins the team#that's pretty nice honestly but anyway i'm sure most people were more excited about the room event lol which was pretty fun#i ended up speedrunning everything in like 5-6 hours i think? the event part only took me like 2-3ish hours of that i was so tired lmao#anyway i miss my beloved milky sighhhh but at least we have plans tomorrow to LoL with their work friend thats nice
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ignore that last post i felt better after i ate dinner amd watched some comfort media, no crying happened lol
#little moth spotted#crona shift makes me so anxious especially if i feel unclean and i don't really wanna unpack that rn or ever so :)#anyway i self cared super hard and then i started drinking while playing LoL whoch i really do not recommend unless you wanna lose#and you're just trying to have fun lol but yeah i feel better now :] so that's nice#anyway time to maybe play one more game? idk im so tired now lol that game was lile 35 mins
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time to eat dinner and watch a comfort show and idk cry lol idk i'm tired
#little moth spotted#idk what the comfort show will be yet i think i wanna watch over the garden wall but it might end up being tangled again 💀 we'll see#it could even be arcane or helluva boss again i'm emotional and sad waahhh need to enjoy fixations to feel better#gonna put my phone on silent for a bit cuz i'm so anxious i feel like i'm gonna throw up ugh so annoying#anyway 😔 dekushift is gone ots cronashift now sorry deku
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oof feel like i'm gonna have a panic attack
#little moth spotted#i know why i'm panicking so badly but i cant fix it like i cant make the feeling of failure and fear that i'm a bad manipulitive persom idk#how to make those feelong go away idk how yo not feel gross and horrible all the time idk what im dking im so scared everyone hates me and#are just puttinh up wyih me bevause they just pity me and feel bad im so pathetic hhhhhhh honestly im just sorry for my loved ones havjng to#deal with me must be so stressful
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getting back into LoL is so fecking weird like what is the meta??? what am i even doing??? 💀 i haven't played in years and it was with friends a couple of times lmao i feel like a stupid baby gamer again
#little moth spotted#my friends keep saying i'm so weird for playing alone but then won't play with me like lmao ??? okay then game with me if you care so much#another friend was like “i'll get back into it for you” which is nice at least :3c teach me the meta idk what i'm doing#imagine going into a game and knowing the meta instead of just maining one character and then panicking when someone takes them#couldn't be me (don't look at how many hours i've played overwatch or valorant and DO NOT look at who i play the most <3)#anyway time to go play LoL main one character never learn anyone else and then cry cuz idk the meta or remember how anything works
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i accidentally took a nap watching Mint stream I Spy like a fool and forgot to do the dishes BUT IT'S FINE cuz i did them and now i can sleep waahh so tired
#little moth spotted#no because tell me why i pass tf out to any stream i watch from my fave vtbers??? am i okay lol???#also for some reason i feel super nauseous but its gonna have to be whatever rn cuz i'm so sleepy i can barely stay awake rn#anyway time to pass out and hope my cats don't knock smth over at 5am again waking me up waaahh ^^;
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impulse installs LoL so i can see my Arcane blorbos in game and stare at them for hours (i'm normal about Arcane and am not coping poorly YOU ARE)
#little moth spotted#this is partly a joke partly serious btw i have played LoL before with pals and i'm so down to play again but it better be in a group#and i better have at least one carry in our team cuz i will not be good enough to do anything but cry and get confused lol#but also i am installing it and my friend 🧸 immediately started installing as soon as i said i would 💀💀💀 bro why tho you said someone#would have to pay you 10k to play LoL lmao anyway its fine i can probs rope a few other pals into too <3#we suffer as a group or no one suffers ya feel me?
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waahh idk if i'm ready to rewatch Arcane with my partner so soon qwq i'm so excited and nervous but the ending is so gonna make me cry again!!!
#little moth spotted#timebomb really has me in a chokehold rn i can't be normal about them BUT ALSO UGH JAYVIK I'M SOBBING QWQ ITS SO ROUGH OUT HERE#my only surviving ship is caitvi ughhh which is nice qwq but i'm still sad about it weeehhh#gonna just have to read so much fanfic to cope i'm devastated#anyway hopefully my partner replies soon!!! so we can start and finish season 2 all in one day!!!
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beside myself with grief at Arcane season 2 but i have self indulgent fanfic and cute fanart to stare at for hours so its fine i'm coping i swear
#little moth spotted#ughhh i can't say anything because my partner follows me and i don't want them looking at this later and getting spoiled before we finish it#milky if you see this stop reading i'm sad and i gotta put it somewhere (i'll still be vague just in case but still)#i mean it!!! no milky after this point!!! you'll get spoiled!!#qwq so do you guys also ship powder/jinx and ekko cuz i do like ughhh after their little moment i was like wow so my ship was validated even#if only a little bit qwq and not actually fulfilled fully but like its fine!!! i'm not super sad and upset about it in fact im soooo normal#about it and didn't immediately look up edits or fanart OR fanfics to cope and heal my sad aching heart like come on that's so silly;; like#who would do that??? not mean just don't look at my main blogs likes or reblogs for the next week or so okay?#anyway not ekko sitting in the same spot at the end i nearly burst into tears ughhhh like qwq because it was powder first so to have it#switch to such a sad composition with just ekko it broke my heart into a million tiny pieces and idk if i can put them back together#i'm so full of grief rn ugh qwq MY GIRL MY POOR GIRL WAAAHH I LOVE HER SO MUCH IK IT MAKES SENSE FOR HER ARC BUT I DONT HAVE TO LIKE IT!!!#anyway i'm done oof i'm gonna be mourning for awhile lol milky if you read all of this ilysm i hope it was vague enough#so you didn't glean anything from it ANYWAY im tired i sleep now lol its so late gn☆
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waaahhh update my sister liked the chicken :D so glad cuz i never wanna cook meat again ugh so much work!! anyway, gotta finish the rest of Arcane soon or i will die lol gonna be a late night of tears, i fear ;;
#little moth spotted#i get to rewatch it again tomorrow anyway because that's when my partner and i hangout♡ super excited#they really like it so far so i hope they also like season 2 as much as me lol or it's gonna be a really awkward watch ^^;#anyway gotta do my silly litol night routine and then finish Arcane!!! wish me luck☆
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shark week is killing me slowly but i promised my older sister i'd cook her a whole chicken this weekend because she's coming to visit and i love her and want her to eat when she's here but i don't eat meat :') so i've never cooked a whole chicken before wish me luck!!!
#little moth spotted#i'm genuinely so worried what if it tastes bad qwq i'm okay enough at cooking for myself but wahhh a whole chicken???#what is WRONG with me why did i promise that waahhh pls pray i don't accidentally poison my sister i'll be so sad about it forever#i'm so tired already lol
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imagine having a separate blog where you just vent about life and other things and you name it something dumb and kinda cringe because you wanted to match your most beloved partner... couldn't be me
#... unless?#whoever heard of a vent side blog seems a litol sus if you ask me#idk what i should make the posting tag but i'll think of it later#shark week brain has me fried frfr i wont lie#hope this helps me cope with life and other stuff or smth idk#little moth spotted
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