dejatiny

[dejatiny]

Girl bossing today!!!

[dejatiny]

Every time Yunho kicks out at Wooyoung and then flips over, I laugh so hard.

[dejatiny]

Day 3 of Yunho month❤️

I'm going to share his random pic/gif/clip until his birthday ❤️ He's so special and he must to know how loved and appreciated he is ❤️

Please share this. Share love for him on every platform 🩵💙

[dejatiny]

[dejatiny]

Evaluation day for my department!!! A little stressed.....send love and distractions please!!!!

[dejatiny]

[dejatiny]

Chapter 10

Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x OT8 Ateez

W/C 6,436

🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥

☽ Masterlist ☾ 

Inspiration Pictures

Pinterest Board Masterlist

Previous Chapter (Chapter 9)

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez, Atiny, or anything relating to what I do not know about being a videographer.

Contains she/her pronouns.

The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.

I strongly recommend looking at the inspiration pictures and the Pinterest boards (which will be updating as the story goes on).

General Warnings: slow burn, cussing, conflict, angst, fluff, and obliviousness. 

CHAPTER WARNINGS - Angst, overthinking, abusive family members. Read at your own risk.

Let me know what you think! <3 Moonie

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

You were filming your first official video for the next few days. You had spent so much time with the boys between the first day and now. It almost seemed like you have known them for years. Technically you had, but knowing them on a personal level is so much better. 

They had been so excited and chattering to you every time they got the chance about your invite to game night. Most of the time it was Yuhno and Mingi asking you about the games you play and what consoles you have; among other things. San was just thoroughly excited to see the giants again. Jongho seemed the most excited about the prospect of drinking and not having to worry about cameras and repercussions. You knew Hongjoong and Seonghwa longed for a night of relaxing and not being responsible for the other six men. You also knew that would be absolute chaos, especially if there were drinks involved; which always happened at your house. You had hosted your fair share of parties to know that you had enough room to host twelve people and possibly the spouses of your team which would bump it up to fifteen. They truly had accepted your team into their dynamic, they had seamlessly blended into each other. You couldn't be happier with how things were going. Sure it has only been several weeks but the energy was so perfect. 

You knew that you would be spending most of your time inside tonight so you opted for a warmer outfit. Throwing on your favorite black oversized sweatshirt and some leggings topping it off with rings, necklaces, and your shitkickers. You grabbed your backpack with your laptop in it, put it on your shoulders and grabbed your travel bag. This one had several days worth of clothes in it as well as some more comfortable shoes. You had packed it because you would be far enough away that you wouldn't want to come back home. It was the opposite direction of where you lived which would put it anywhere from two to three hours away. Thankfully KQ thought ahead and reserved more rooms for your team. You were heading out the night before so everyone could get up bright and early for hair and makeup. You had made sure that your mom knew that you were gone for a few days and asked her to come and check on the giants. Once you were satisfied you had everything you made your way to the garage. You had to take your car, Aria. There was a little bit of a drive and it would be easier to load equipment into KQ’s vans and have all of you in one car than to shove all of you in company vans with the equipment. You popped the trunk and dropped your bags into the back making sure that it was situated so the others could fit their bags back there as well. You unplugged the car from the port that you had installed in your garage. Once you were finished you walked to the front of the car, got in and started her up. She quietly hummed to life. You drove for about forty-five minutes to get to KQ to meet everyone and help with any packing that needed finishing up. 

When you arrived you saw several vans and people loading things up. Most of it was equipment. You got out of the car and walked toward the building to grab your personal camera bag before they got a hold of it. Sadly you couldn't take the portal to stream everything to your computer as it operated over wifi. That simple fact meant it would be a pain in the ass getting the film to download from all four of your cameras. Once you got up to the door you swiped your key and the door opened. You followed the now familiar path to the office space your team had taken over. Your bag was thankfully sitting where you left it next to your desk. You walked over to your shelves and grabbed one of the polaroid cameras and some film for it. This could be the perfect way to have some physical reminders of your first big shoot. 

“Hi Y/n-nie,” you whipped around to see Mingi leaning against the door frame. 

“Hi Mings, you scared me, for as much of a giant as you are you walk very quietly.”  He chuckled at your reaction, his voice was still deep from sleep. He must have just woken up and come over here you knew that their schedule was horrendous so they squeezed naps in whenever they could. His voice was sexy before it was laced with sleep, but it was even better right now. You walked up to him with your backpack in hand and looked up at him, his eyes were half closed but he was coherent enough to pull you into a hug with the arm that wasn't against the door frame. He gave some of the best hugs, each of the boys was unique with how they hugged you but he and Yuhno were just enough taller than you to make it even better; much like your team. You loved and hated being the shortest one even though you were above average height. Your head fits perfectly under their chin which was your favorite part. You put your bag down and wrapped your arms around him and let him rest against you for a minute. You had to take a step back because he leaned on you so hard, you had almost lost your balance. 

“Mingi, what are you doing?” Yuhno questioned. Once he got close enough he smiled at the pair of you. He wanted to be a part of this hug fest. He stepped in behind you and put his arms around the both of you effectively sandwiching you between the two of them. Your heart leapt, both of the twin towers were sandwiching you in a hug. This was the most comfortable hug that you had ever experienced. You could hear Mingi’s heartbeat and feel Yuhno’s breathing on the back of your head. Both of them rested their cheeks on you. You could feel your body relaxing and melting into the warmth of them. 

“Lets pack into the vans” you heard Hongjoong yell across the hall. You couldn't tell if he could see your trio but at this point you couldn't move until they did. Yuhno was the one to let go first, before he pulled away completely he left a kiss on the crown of your hair. He passed you and looked at you with a big smile. 

“Come on Mingi we gotta go," he said quietly, Mingi pried himself away from you with a dopey half asleep smile, he kissed your forehead and walked away without a word. 

What in the fucking world just happened, that was new. 

You brought your bag over your shoulder and started back to Aria. Your mind was trying to come up with some reason for why they did what they did but it couldn't find one. You waved at some of the boys as you passed. Some of their eyes widened as they looked behind you. You turned around to see Wooyoung approaching at a quick pace. He grabbed you and lifted you off your feet and planted a quick kiss on your cheek. How the hell he was this energetic was beyond you. You felt the blush rush to your face as he walked away. Pausing you put your hand up to your cheek, this must have been how San felt after you did that to him. Seonghwa smiled at you before disappearing into the van. Hongjoong was the last to get in the van but he waved at you with a small smile before getting in. You made it back to your car, popped the trunk to let the team put their bags in and once you put yours in you closed the trunk. You walked around Aria and got in and pushed the break to be able to start the car. Once she started up you got in line to follow the procession of KQ vans. Somehow you had managed to get behind the van the boys were in. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“She gives the best hugs. You know that?”

“I believe that. She has only quickly hugged me a couple of times. She is so perfect and I cannot wait to be able to hold her without limitations.” 

“Her curves are something else, she fits into my arms perfectly.” 

“I wonder what it would be like to be able to hold her on that motorcycle of hers.”

“Don't even get me started. I don't think I would be able to resist almost squeezing her to death.”

“We all will have to wait to find out, we haven't even asked her about joining our relationship yet. We will have to be patient, it will happen when it is supposed to happen.”

“Okay hyung, I hope we can talk to her soon. The more time we spend with her the more I want her to be ours.”

“I cannot wait to be able to hang out with everyone. While being in a professional setting is nice, I want to see them be themselves without restraint.”

“I want to see drunk y/n”

“I want to see the giants.”

“I want to see her house, she has an interesting aesthetic and I can't wait to see how her house matches that.”

“I am interested in the game room! I am almost positive she is a big nerd because of how many games she has.” 

“Like you are any different, I am most excited for these drinks she has.”

“Of course you are.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You turned to look at everyone with a wide grin. That hug had most definitely started your evening off on the right foot. 

“What’s got you all smiley? Did something happen?” Forrest interrogated. The other two hadn't even looked up from where they were absorbed in their phones to notice your grin. 

“I was just given one of the best hugs I have ever experienced.” Resting your head on the headrest you looked over to Forrest briefly. You put one hand over your chest to feel the slightly quick pace of your heart. 

“Who was it?” Aurora asked, setting her phone in her lap. You had caught her attention now, she was always the gossip of the group. She was also the most knowledgeable because she loved to observe and ask shit tons of questions. 

“Mingi and Yuhno.” You sighed. You looked at her in the rearview mirror. She was wearing a shit-eating grin before her face morphed into shock.

“Holy shit you got a double hug from the twin towers?” Aurora excitedly asked. “That’s a dream come true for any Atiny, especially me!” For being a lesbian she would definitely make an exception for Yuhno and Mingi. You had teased her about that fact on multiple occasions, you had only recently stopped because you both were afraid one of the boys would hear. 

“It started out just as Mingi but Yuhno came up behind me and joined in on the hug squeezing the both of us.” You turned to look so you could merge with the procession of cars. “But it doesn’t end there. As they were being yelled at to go and get in the van before they stepped away they both gave me a kiss. Yuhno on the crown of my head and Mingi on the forehead. And then as I was headed back to the car Wooyoung attacked me, lifting me up off my feet and kissing my cheek.” 

You heard Willow perk up in the back seat before she put her phone aside and started speaking. “I might be reading this wrong, and it is very rare that I read things wrong so take this as you will. I think they all might be flirting with you.” You looked at her through the rear view mirror incredulously before returning your eyes to the road. What you missed however was the look she gave Aurora in the back seat, they were conspiring. 

“All of them?” You parroted. 

For the love of all things sacred what the fuck was she on about. You’re just their videographer, you have a camera trained on them like 80% of the time and they are known to flirt with the camera. They are also flirty by nature. Could all of them actually be flirting with you?

“Yes, have you not noticed that they are completely different when it comes to you? They are nowhere near as affectionate with us.” Aurora butted in 

You thought back to the past few weeks. Yuhno having his arm over your shoulder the entire time he was showing you around KQ and keeping that as a habit. Him calling your face pretty while you were at their practice. Seonghwa resting his head on yours and continuing to do so any time that you sat next to him whether his head was on your shoulder or yours was on his. Wooyoung sitting in front of you and leaning his head on your knee the first day, letting you sleep on him last week, being very flirty every time he saw you, then the kiss on the cheek today. San allegedly sleeping on you, then being the first one to make contact with you after your panic, and continuously checking in on you. He also had joked with you while at their practice. Yeosang sharing his chicken with you when you noted that it smelled good and then Jongho calling you Yeosang’s favorite which he didn’t deny. He also followed you around like a lost puppy when you were around. Hongjoong guiding you with a hand on your lower back any time you went anywhere with him, keeping the polaroid of you and him in his wallet. Jongho not pulling away from your skinship and being genuinely interested in everything you do. He also actually took pictures with you and let you complete his hand heart and the hug. Mingi putting his head on top of yours while you all were conversing about plans for the trip. Finally The hug and kisses. 

“Holy. Fuck.” You thought out loud. All three of them burst into laughter. You glared the best you could at them. You could feel your hands start to shake at the revelation. Were you nervous or excited with this revelation?

“What am I going to do?!”

“Go out with all of them?” Forrest asked. Your head snapped to him. He raised his eyebrow at you and smirked. You quickly looked back to the road. 

“I never would have thought in my entire life that I would be having this kind of conversation. Eight men?” Eight very beautiful men at that. 

“They have lots of love to share, I am sure they wouldn’t be opposed.” Willow remarked. 

“You aren’t the conventional kind of person anyway” Aurora mentioned.

“Okay and? None of us are.” You sniped back. Sure you have had your fair share of dating people, men, women, or non-binary. It wasn’t about what they were, it was about who they are that mattered to you. 

“Okay fuck off.” she huffed. 

“Let's be honest here, having had my fair share of men in the past, I think they are some of the best I have met aside from my Asher. They would be amazing partners, they are already so attentive to you and each other that I cannot help but to wonder how they would treat you differently if you were in a relationship with them.”

“I think they would get even more handsy and affectionate.” Willow quipped, both of them giggled in the back seat. 

As the conversation drifted off you decided now would be a great time to turn up the music. The team put together a playlist for drives like this several years ago. You always kept it updated and were happy for the reprieve to the awkward ending of the previous conversation. When you turned up the music it always turned into a jam session. You absolutely loved that you could hear all of their favorite songs while sharing yours. It was one of the most interesting playlists you had, it ranged so widely that there was no specific genre that was most prevalent. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“I wonder how the room arrangements are going to fall out. Do you think Y/n’s team will be close to us?”

“We have two suites, and they have three rooms, one for Forrest, one for Y/n and one for Aurora and Willow. The rest of the staff are going to be split up like they usually are. I know that much but not the placement of the rooms.” 

“Do we have the floor to ourselves, like just KQ people?”

“That’s what I was told. I was also informed by the security team that they have pretty decent security and because it is in more of a rural location we shouldn't have to worry about hiding out in our rooms.” 

“Really? So we can actually sit and have breakfast like normal people?”

“As far as I know, yes.” 

“This is going to be so much fun!!”

“We are about ten minutes out.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You had driven for about an hour before your ringtone chirped loudly over the car speakers. All of you jumped, you needed to mess with the settings to make it not as loud. Seonghwa was calling you. You clicked the button to answer it.

“Hey, you’re on speaker in the car, what’s up?” You heard a chorus of hi and general chatter come from somewhere in the background. You smiled at the boys. They always had to be loud when greeting you.

“We are almost to the hotel and I wanted to let you know.” Seonghwa said over the boys in the background. He was the one who kept you in the know most of the time aside from Hongjoong; who did it when he could. Managing seven men who acted like children was hard enough so you didn't blame him when he didn’t communicate with you.  

“Okay, perfect, we are right behind your van so we should be there right after you.” You checked the lane next to you as you merged into the turn lane behind the other vans. 

“Okay, sounds good, yeobo. We will see you guys here in a few minutes.”

“See you soon Hwa,” you responded. You hung up the phone and continued driving behind the vans. 

“He loves you,” Aurora snickered, lengthening the words in a teasing manner. “So are we just going to ignore the fact that he called you darling or?” Aurora put her hands on the back of Forrrest’s seat and leaned up to look at you. 

“He did what?” Your eyes widened but stayed on the road. 

“Yeobo means darling. You know Korean, why did you not put that together?” Willow responded with a snicker. You glanced at her in the rearview mirror, she was smirking. 

“You've seen so many K-dramas you should recognize terms of endearment. We knew your memory wasn't the greatest but simple cute names are something I thought you would remember.” Aurora giggled, flopping back into her seat.

“I’ve never heard that term before, I didn’t know. We generally bounce between English and Korean because they know I am not a native speaker. I am still learning to this day because most of my conversations do not float away from being professional. Terms of endearment are absolutely foreign to me even after watching k-dramas.” you defended getting quieter as you went on. You could feel the shame creeping up the back of your neck. You followed the van taking several turns to get to the hotel. You fell into the deep pool of your thoughts. 

Do you love them? Technically you loved them long before you actually met them which you thought you were content with.. 

Are you content with the relationship and how it is right now? Maybe..

Is your relationship bound to be something more than friendship? Maybe..

Would you want to pursue something with all of them? You had never tried anything like it but flying by the seat of your pants was something that happened a lot. 

Could you see them staying in your life if you did pursue a relationship with them? Maybe.. but everyone left so it wouldn't be a surprise if they did. 

Do you want more than friendship with them? Maybe.. 

What were your feelings for these men? Love, adoration, awe? 

What kind of love? I don’t know

The dating kind? Maybe..

Are you in love with Ateez? I think so..

Could you see yourself being with them? Yes

The deeper you fell into your thoughts the farther from reality you went. You fell into the deep end. 

But how could you be a good partner without fucking things up like you had in the past? 

Why would they want to pursue you? You're too plain, they are extraordinary. 

How could you survive in a relationship without knowing anything? You didn't even realize that Seonghwa called you darling..

Were they just pursuing you to have a quick fuck like everyone did in the past? 

Were they just going to use you to get what they wanted and then leave you?

Would they fall out of love with you like everyone else did? 

You hadn’t even realized that you pulled into the parking spot before saying “We are here!” You leapt out of the car immediately after it was parked and turned off. You could not wait to escape. You snatched your backpack and bags from the trunk and started walking without the rest of your team. You kept thinking back to how you really wanted to answer Willow's question. 

How didn’t you know? Well I don’t know, maybe because I have not had a long term relationship in ages. It had always embarrassed and disappointed you that you hadn’t dated in a long time; not for lack of trying. You had your flings but nothing lasted more than a few months. You sat back watching all of your friends and family get married and have kids. Here you were at 27 not having anyone but the three giants. 

Even some of the people back in America had sent you invitations to their weddings, it had disheartened you to no end to see all of the people in your life having one of the things that you wanted most. Every time you had pursued someone they had always fallen out of love with you or called you clingy so you just stopped. No one had approached you, it had always made you feel like you were the problem. No matter how many people told you otherwise you were the problem. You wiped the tears away from the corners of your eyes making sure to look up so they wouldn't continue to fall. You could hear people talking in the distance and maybe someone calling your name; you kept walking. Right now was not the time for having feelings. It may have started off as something warm and fuzzy but the demons started creeping up on you like a wolf among sheep. This is not the time, nor the place for emotional turmoil. 

Fake it till you make it. 

Thankfully KQ had gotten you three rooms, one for Forrest, one for Aurora and Willow, and one for you. The manager handed your keycard to you and you quietly walked to the elevator before everyone else got into the building. Once you got to the floor they had booked out you walked to your room and shut the door locking it. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“Do you know what is going on with Y/N?”

“She was perfectly fine when we left, something happened on the car ride here that is the only explanation.”

“She even ignored us and her team yelling after her, she never does that”

“I wonder what happened, the rest of them seem to be down too, her energy was off as soon as we got here. It worries me.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

You threw your bag on the bed, and gently set your camera bag and laptop bag down on the desk. You had half a thought to fling them against the wall, but that would be an expensive thing to do that with. You walked into the bathroom without even noticing and stood in front of the mirror looking at yourself. You met your own eyes in the mirror. The tears had started freely streaming down your face, you made no move to wipe them away. You took yourself in, your face was puffy and your eyes red rimmed behind your thick framed glasses. You looked down and all you could see were the imperfections. The hips that were wider than all of the people surrounding you. The extra you had on your stomach. The extra you had on your arms and legs. The stretchmarks littered all over your body. You shook your head, putting it down and resting your hands against the sink leaning into it. You couldn't stand to look at yourself anymore. Tears continued to fall down your face and neck, snot had started running and you sniffled. You glanced back up at yourself before looking back down. You squeezed your eyes shut. Your breathing was picking up. You could hear your heartbeat in your ears. Everything was so loud, even in the silence of the room. You could feel yourself start to shake. Your body was heating up, it felt like you were standing in the heat of summer. 

Was this the reason you haven't dated? 

Was it because of your body? 

Were you not attractive enough for someone to pursue you?

Are you too fat for anyone to want to even consider dating you?

Your logical mind knew that it wasn’t true but your demons kept chanting it getting louder and louder. You dragged yourself away from the coolness of the sink and into the main portion of the room and changed into the knitted sleep set that you brought. Once you had gone through the motions you let out a large sigh and plugged in all of your things. You were utterly numb. Taking off your glasses and tossing them aside you threw the covers back and crawled into the bed. Getting settled you just stared at the blurry white ceiling, at this point you couldn’t tell if it was your tears or your lack of good vision. You could feel your eyes slipping into being unfocused as you fell into the hole in your mind.

“For fucks sake, why are you so emotional. Get a fucking grip or I will give you something to be emotional about.” You could still clearly hear your fathers voice as he threatened you. He held a beer bottle and was laughing with some of his friends at your expense. You had just found out that you did not get into your dream school, you had a right to be emotional. So you did what you do best and locked yourself away. 

“You are too fat for anyone to want to even consider dating you.” This time it was your aunt's voice that rang through your head. Your fathers sister was the perfect woman with her beautiful blonde hair and little waist. She always looked down her nose at you, no matter the situation. You had grown to despise her and her family. 

“You don’t date because no one would love some stupid whore who wears black all the time.” Your cousin sneered at you in the hallway of the school. Her friends all laughed at you and your now ex had his arm slung around her shoulder. He had only dated you because they bet him a decent amount of money to do so. What a great fucking way to start your senior year. 

You clutched your head. Shaking it to expel the memories. All that did was make you dizzy. Your heartbeat and breathing were still erratic. 

Stop. Please. Go away. 

Shutting your eyes tightly you turned to your side and curled into the fetal position in an attempt to get more comfortable. You could feel the tear stains on the pillow below you, you were too drained to care. You knew that you wouldn't be able to fall asleep quickly but you begged your mind and body to comply. You were crying in earnest now the sobs were wracking your body. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“Do you think we should go over there to see if she is okay Yuyu?”

“I think only one of us would be best. We don't need to overwhelm her.” 

“From the few weeks we have known her she seems to leave to deal with things on her own. I think she will want more of a silent companion than someone who talks things through.”

“Then you are the more qualified of the two of us.” 

“Are you sure you don't want to go?”

“Yeah, at least one of us needs to be here to tell Joongie and Hwa.” 

“Okay, I’m going to go over now, I love you and will see you tomorrow.”

“I love you too. Go comfort our girl.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

Just as you were starting to slip into unconsciousness you were startled awake by a small knock on the door. You got up and stomped to the door forgoing your glasses. You opened ready to tell the person to fuck off. You could still feel the tear tracks on your face. 

“Hi,” someone mumbled as soon as you opened the door. You squinted up and saw the tall blurry form. It was Mingi. He had changed into what looked like a different set of sweats and a t-shirt since the last time you saw him. 

“What's up Mingi?" you lean yourself on the door. You avoided looking at him so he wouldn’t see your face and how swollen it was. You wanted to snap at him, you wanted to lash out, you wanted to just slam the door in his face. You knew better than to let that part of you take over, especially since he was just here to check on you. 

“Can I come in?” He asked, shuffling his feet. You nodded and stepped aside, opening the door further for him. He stepped in and walked to your bed. You closed the door and deadbolted it again. He sat on the edge of the bed and held his arms open for you. He was looking at you with such gentleness, it only broke your heart further. You walked over to him and crawled into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you, one wrapping around your back and the other to cradle your head to his chest. 

Everything erupted. You let out everything you were holding back. Your eyes were closed tightly as sobs wracked your body. Your breath came in short pants. You were gripping onto his shirt for dear life. You buried yourself in the junction between his neck and shoulder. You didn’t know how much time had passed but you could feel yourself falling into panic. Your chest was tight and it was becoming hard to breathe. His hold on you tightened just slightly which brought you back to yourself. He held you so carefully rocking you both back and forth, it was just enough to slowly start to put your broken pieces back together again. No one had ever held you this way. 

“You don't have to talk about what is going on, but I wanted you to know that I am here for you. We are all worried about you. You weren't yourself when we got here and we could all see it and feel it.” He whispered into the top of your hair. You nodded into his chest, tears spilling faster down your face. You stayed in his arms for a while slowly coming back to your senses. Eventually he moved you toward the head of the bed and laid down with you still cradled to his chest. He tugged the covers over the both of you. 

“Thank you,” you whispered. You had regained yourself enough to actually look at him with your horrid vision.

“Don't mention it, I could see you were hurting. I know how that feels and sometimes the only thing that can fix it is someone being here for you in silent support.” You nodded against his chest wrapping yourself further around him and clutching the fabric of his clothes. He tucked some of your hair behind your ear. You felt it stick to the side of your face as he did so. God you must have looked absolutely horrid. 

“Will you stay with me?” You knew that if he left you would fall apart again and this vicious cycle would continue for the next few days until you could focus enough and listen to your logical mind. You generally could pull yourself out of it but it took a few days. 

“I wouldn't want to be anywhere else,” You could hear the sincerity in his voice. He truly was one of the best people you could have at your side in these moments. He might be a big scary looking man on the outside but he was the sweetest man on the inside. You could feel yourself relaxing more and more as time passed. Mingi’s breathing was slow and steady against the cheek pressed to his chest. You listened to his heart, it was calm and steady, a presence you didn’t know you needed. Before you knew it you had fallen into unconsciousness. He had looked over you to make sure you were asleep before pulling you even closer to his chest. You had unconsciously cuddled closer to him. You were almost on top of him at this point. He looked down at you and vowed to himself that he would do anything in his power to never see this side of you again. He leaned in and kissed your forehead, letting his lips linger for just a second. He pulled away and tucked your head under his chin. 

“Goodnight Jagi, sleep well.” He murmured before closing his eyes and falling into a deep sleep. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★ 

Hongjoong and Seonghwa looked at each other with silver lining their eyes. They shared a wall with you and their hearts were breaking at the sound of your sobs. Both of them clung to each other in their bed while they listened. Before they could get up and go over to you they watched Mingi slip out. Shortly after they heard the padding of feet coming toward their room. Yuhno appeared in the doorway. Hongjoong opened the covers and Yuhno made his way to slip in behind him. They all knew that he would be the best person to help you through this. His quiet support was something they cherished in moments like you were having on the other side of the wall. 

“You think he will be able to handle this on his own?”

“I think he is the best out of all of us.” 

“We talked about it before deciding who would go over.”

“I don't know how you both do it. I wouldn't be able to keep myself from kissing her to make it better.”

“With great love and restraint.”

They relaxed into each other listening to Mingi’s voice soothe you. Your sobs got worse before they got better and stopped, Mingi had done exactly what they knew he would. They fell asleep knowing you would be well taken care of. 

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“I want to go over there damnit. Let me go over there! Did you not see the look on her face as she walked in here; she was crying! Did you not watch her ignore our calls and her team's calls?” 

“I saw everything I was right beside you Woo. And no, you know it isn't our place currently to do so, I want to go help too but we shouldn't.”

“If we went over there all we would do is overwhelm her.”

“Sangie and Sannie are right, it isn't our place. As much as I would like it to be, we aren't in a relationship with her yet. I also know you well enough that you would spill everything before Joongie hyung would get the chance to ask her.”  

“Fuck off Jongho. How are you three so fucking level headed? The woman we all like is over there in a terrible headspace and you are sitting here stopping me from doing anything about it.”

“Look, I know you want to be there for her, but we can't go over there and comfort her without spilling our feelings. We are also not the most qualified for situations like this and you know it.” 

“Fuck you all for being so logical.”

“We love you too, let's get settled and go to bed. We will see her tomorrow morning and then we can make sure she is okay.”

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

On the other side of your room Aurora and Willow paced. They knew exactly why you were crying. It was because of them that you had fallen into that state. They could barely stand it. Willow had to physically hold Aurora back from going over there. Both of them knew you would want space to clear your own head, which they would respect no matter how much it hurt them. They knew about your rough past with relationships so why did they push it, why did they tease you? 

They heard your sobs get worse. Aurora was stomping toward the door before she heard a knock. She flung it open to see Forrest. He stepped into the room and sat on one of the beds. He was always the one to offer comfort in situations like these. He held out his arms and both Aurora and Willow hugged him. The three of them stayed there for a little bit until they heard your sobs lessen. Forrest had gotten up shortly after they stopped. He left without a word heading back to his room. They all fell into a fitful sleep, worried about where your head would be tomorrow.

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Next Chapter (Chapter 11 Coming Soon)

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Thanks for reading! <3 Moonie

Taglist:

@breadedloafs @a-short-ass-disappointment @ateezswonderland @staytinyluv @cherryangel-coke @11glitch11 @neivivenaj @herpoetryprincess @premverse @starryjoong-jeongcheollie @sol3chu

[dejatiny]

wildfire (cs) | fourteen.

—spotify playlist | series masterlist

—summary: assistant professor in bioengineering, incredibly attractive, lonely and divorced; that’s how most people describe san. but despite the events that have happened in his life, san has a lot going for himself. he’s a successful, sought out professor due to his brilliant contributions to science at just an early age of 32. he worked hard to get where he was now; head deep into his research, his publications, building his lab and creating a name for himself. everything was good and smooth sailing— until it wasn’t. because when he meets you, a bioengineering grad student interested in rotating in his lab, he finds himself ready to risk all the blood, sweat and tears he put in throughout the years just to keep you close— his need for you spiraling out of control like a wildfire.

—pairing: asst. professor!choi san x grad student!f. reader

—genre: (18+ - minors dni) strangers to lovers, grad school au | fluff, angst, smut

—word count: 5.5k

—chapter content/warnings: cussing/mature language, mostly focused on namjoon again in his stressed with no rest era, oc tells her friends about everything, jiung x oc fighting, crying :(, oc has a pretty good talk with namjoon, things are just shifting/changing

—a/n: the next fic coming up after wildfire has been posted here! also if you haven't taken my poll, pls do so! hehe <33 i appreciate u

You lay back against the arm of the couch with your blanket sprawled on top, typing away the last bits of info into your presentation. You're a slide away from creating your acknowledgements slide and wrapping up the entire rotation update. You had gotten an email from both San and Namjoon stating that your rotation in San's lab was ending due to a change in your timeline and that you needed to present your rotation update to the both of them, along with the dean, in the following week. It scared you at first— and it still does now— but it's starting to make more sense as to why San did what he did. Namjoon sent you a side email asking if you could meet today because he wanted to discuss what was going on. He kept it vague. Short.

Maybe he was holding off until the meeting.

It's obvious who started all of this. It's not hard to tell.

But, you agreed to meet after TAing for Yunho— letting Namjoon know you'd be there as soon as class was over. He agreed to the time and sent you a reassuring message towards the end, telling you all would be well and that he'd help you figure things out no matter what.

It was reassuring, but it doesn't mean you weren't scared.

Anxious.

Nervous.

Doesn't mean any if this it hurt any less. Doesn't mean you weren't angry, upset, sad. You still needed to feel it out, especially being alone and going through this without anyone else to talk to about it.

You had Eunchae, Jurin and Felix. But, you wished you had Jiung to talk to. You wished you didn't feel hurt about him, too.

—FLASHBACK

"So, you two are seeing each other?" Jurin asks while she sits in front of you and holds onto your knee to give it a gentle rub. Eunchae sits next to you with her arm over your shoulder, also giving you a gentle caress, squeeze. Felix sits next to Jurin and he's got a look of concern, but sadness. You had finally opened up about everything between you and San; from how things started, the conferences, staying at his house, being with him—

To not.

Jiung keeps himself posted near your window because he doesn't really wanna hear more about it but he needs to— to understand the full story. Part of him also feels guilty for what he did hearing your cries and how awfully torn up you are over Professor Choi.

San.

He's gotta get used to you calling him San like that.

"Were." You shake your head and press the tissue against your nose to pat it dry. "It's done with now."

"But, why? Couldn't you guys just play it off?" 

"I'm sure he wanted to be safe, though." Felix adds softly. "I think I kinda see where he's coming from." He looks at you. "I don't think he meant to hurt you, but he's probably trying to protect you and keep everything safe in the meantime. Once this blows over—"

"I doubt we'd get back together."

"Don't say that. You never know, Y/N. I agree with Lix. He's probably just trying to do what's best for now even if it hurts him to. I'm sure he cares a lot about you. I mean heck, he almost fucked up Hae-jin in front of everyone." You sigh and look down at your hands, the feeling of sadness and emptiness all consuming. 

"He does." Eunchae adds to Jurin's reassurance. "I don't know why Professor Lee and Professor Jeong think it's their business, though. Haven't they done enough damage?"

"Awful. People literally can't mind their business, especially when it has nothing to do with them."

"I get the power dynamics but Professor Choi doesn't seem like the type. So, honestly, it's not like anyone was getting hurt in the process." Jiung silently fiddles with his hoodie string as Felix goes on.

"And people clearly don't know you if they assume you're the one throwing yourself on him." Jurin adds.

"Damn. Two people can't just be together?" Felix shakes his head. "Anyway, you got us, and this will pass. I'm sure Professor Kim will do everything to help and figure things out, too." You dig your face into your hands, trying to wipe away the remaining tears before you nod and smile at Lix in appreciation for his support, too. 

Still, you can't help but notice how Jiung has remained quiet this entire time— barely able to maintain eye contact with you.

"Should we go to dinner? Get some food in you?" Eunchae gives you a small smile and giggle. You nod and stand with them, quickly checking your appearance in the mirror while the three start making their way out of your door.

"Can we talk for a second?"

"About?"

"I just have to tell you something. Probably shouldn't wait until after dinner."

"Um, okay?" You look at him, hands crossed over your chest in a vulnerable manner, doe-eyes peeking up at him as he lets out a hefty sigh. "What's on your mind?"

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I just wanna say I'm sorry and I hope you understand where I'm coming from. But—" He lets out another sigh before shaking his head, almost as if he were shaking his feelings off. Trying to tell himself he needs to say it. "I-I went to Professor Kim and told him about you and Professor Choi. I told him I thought you were being taken advantage of and that I was worried."

"What?" You can barely get out. "W-why would you do that?"

"I was really just worried and I wasn't sure how else to get to you. I-I thought Professor Kim would be able to help—"

"Jiung." You call his name and step back, not wanting to be in close proximity to him. You knew he was worried about you, but you didn't think he'd go off and talk to Namjoon about it right away. "Why would you do that? Why couldn't we just keep talking about it— why did you have to go and blow this up even more?!"

"I'm sorry, can you blame me?!—"

"You didn't have to go behind my fucking back and tell Professor Kim! I already told you it wasn't like that and you still told him it was?! What the actual hell, Jiung?"

"I was just worried about you! I was being your fucking bestfriend, trying to make sure you weren't hurt or anything."

"And then you made things worse. Are you happy?" You scoff. "Those assumptions could have really fucked up Professor Choi."

"What about you, Y/N? Why do you keep disregarding yourself?! Is that even healthy—"

"Healthy?! I'm telling you the truth!" You scoff. "And you don't know shit about me and him, so quit acting like you do." You throw your hands up in defeat because he'll never get it. "Forget it, okay? You'll never understand and I don't need you to."

"Hey, what's going on?" Felix pops his head in, confused at the ruckus going on behind doors. Truthfully, he heard everything just as he was approaching the door to check up on you, and he's not sure how to feel. It's hard. He feels like he's in the middle because he sees Jiung, he sees you.

"You guys can go off to dinner together, but I'll probably just stay behind." 

"But, Y/N—" Jiung adds in defeat.

"Why don't you and the girls go? We'll catch up later." Felix tugs him by the sleeve and gives him a look. "Give her some space." He mutters lowly just as he gets in close distance.

—END

Your alarm blares on the coffee table, a harsh reminder that you haven't really slept much. It was time to wrap up and get ready for Yunho's class— something you weren't entirely ready to tackle today either.

But, you get up anyway. 

You sigh and put on your brave face.

You throw on a simple sweater, jeans and your Sambas— dabbing a bit of mascara, brow gel and lip gloss to fix yourself up a tiny bit for the day. You were tired of feeling sad and dressing the part; the least you could do was finally get some fresh air and look decent enough for the world while coming out of your slump. You grab your things and pack up your bag, heading out of the door with your keys in hand.

Kinda sucks you won't be returning to San's lab.

Kinda sucks you won't be returning to San.

You let out a sigh and quietly walk over to the classroom in peace, keeping your head down for a majority of the time. 

Avoiding eye contact, avoiding anything having to do with the outside world in meantime.

"Hey!" Yunho says in his usual fashion. You give him a small smile, although you're not really sure why he's joining class yet again today. He had been joining your class in particular recently, and you knew why.

He just wanted to get under your skin.

"Hi." You respond, getting your laptop together. Yunho continues to watch you from where you're standing, noting the sadness that envelopes your entire body. The way you're avoiding him. The way it's so blatantly obvious that you know that he knows.

That Iseul is the reason why you're sad.

You don't say anything otherwise; keeping your head down and away from Yunho even while the class walks in. You continue to carry on with the last journal club of the class before giving everyone time to work on their final proposals before it's due at the end of the evening. A few people linger at the end of class to speak with you and Yunho to get your guidance on the last remaining bits of their proposals before they thank you for all your help and head out for the day.

You still haven't said a word to Yunho, and he can't help but ask:

"Is something wrong?" Yunho asks nonchalantly after class, looking at your figure even though you are avoiding eye contact with him while packing up your things.

"No."

"You don't have to lie to me."

"I don't know why you're asking if something is wrong when you know what it is already. Don't you?" You look at him plainly from the side before gathering the rest of your things.

"Whatever's been happening between you and San is between you and San—"

"So, was it you who told Professor Kim? Or was it Professor Lee?" You cut him off. Yunho stares at you, and he doesn't respond. Of course he won't, of course he won't throw Iseul under the bus even though you know she was behind it.

"It was for the best."

"Quite frankly, I don't think you can speak on what's best for me or him. Especially him." You look at Yunho directly in the eye. "Are you both that determined to bring San down? Is that what this?" He furrows his brows.

"Reel it in, Y/N." He says, sternly. "Do you not understand how damaging this could be for both you and him? If anything, it was done to protect you both."

"What makes you think we weren't capable of doing so?" Yunho lets out a pathetic chuckle before he steps forward and leans towards your ear, a small smirk on his lips.

"I think snuggling up on campus and sneaking into his office is enough of a reason." He pulls back, licking his lips before dipping his hands into his pocket.

"And I think you need to learn how to mind your own business and let San handle his own." You scoff. "In any case, Yunho." You look him in the eye. "You and Iseul already ruined him from the beginning and you can't come to terms with it." You tilt your head to the side. "You both were never deserving of San, and that is sad. No wonder you two are miserable and are still keeping tabs on him." Yunho's mouth slightly drops, but he doesn't respond to your statement. "I'll help out with finals if needed. Otherwise, please consider my TA assignment with you done."

You almost run into Iseul as you stomp out of the classroom, leaving her to knit her brows at you in response.

"Nice talk." Iseul pops in, her husband biting his cheek.

"We should have never gotten involved with that, Iseul." He says lowly as he gathers his things together.

"Oh, so just let them—"

"That's exactly it, just let them be." He cuts her off and looks at her. "It didn't have to be us. We could've just let them be and let anyone else do the talking. Let them learn on their own." His jaw ticks.

"We did the right thing." She crosses her arms.

"Still doesn't change the fact that you're taking the opportunity to destroy San and running with it. It didn't have to be us." He repeats, slinging his bag onto his shoulder.

"Yunho." She says. "You're not actually taking Y/N seriously, are you? She's delusional if she thinks all of this is okay and would've slipped."

"Don't call her delusional, Iseul. You have no say in their relationship or what they're about. You had no right. They knew what they were getting into. You just lead them into the trap for your own benefit." Yunho scoffs. "You wanted to see this unfold, didn't you? You wanted this to unfold in a specific way." 

"What is going on, Yunho?"

"We're not meddling in this anymore. If you're not ready to stop, count me out of it. I'm not doing this, I'm not picking at their business anymore." He grabs his things and takes the lead out of the room. Iseul scoffs and shakes her head, slowly trailing behind him.

As for you, you feel cold. You feel isolated. You feel empty. You walk out and find a hidden table behind the building and set yourself down to get yourself together. You let out a couple of breaths to ease your feelings, promising yourself you wouldn't cry over this anymore.

But, it hurts to hold it in.

It hurts.

You feel the dullness, the heavy ache, in the center of your chest, and it hurts.

You have to move on.

"Fuck." You sigh, hand over your chest to give it a few gentle rubs before you're back on your feet and checking the time. You need to see Professor Kim just like your promised.

Of course, as you're on your way to Professor Kim's office, you find San passing by with Yeosang and Jongho. His eyes land on you and you immediately break first, feeling the tears ready to well up in your eyes. He sees the way your head drops and how you turn away— he can't help but slightly turn over his shoulder to keep his eyes on you.

To lock eyes with you once more.

To feel.

But, it doesn't happen. And it fucks San up more than he expects because he doesn't know even know what Jongho and Yeosang are talking about anymore after that brief interception.

"Yo, you good?" Jongho taps his chest with a small chuckle, bringing San back to reality.

"Yeah. Sorry." He tries to play it off quickly but Jongho quickly turns over his shoulder to see you walking in the opposite direction.

"All good." He returns to San and gives his shoulder a small squeeze. "I'm sorry."

"Nothing to be sorry about." San gives him a toothless smile. "Anyway, did you guys figure out where we're going before we make laps around campus?" Yeosang and Jongho share a quick look before they follow behind San and pick the conversation back up to prevent any of San's sadness from creeping up.

Meanwhile, you continue your way to Professor Kim's office, wiping away the stragglers that manage to escape your eyes and streak your cheeks. You weren't gonna let this get to you, so you quickly try to brush it off and get yourself together especially when you walk down the hallway and into Professor Kim's office. He's in his chair, typing away on his computer— glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose.

"Hey Y/N, come sit and make yourself comfortable." He smiles at you and you return the gesture, sitting down on the chair posted in front of his desk.

"Thanks for meeting with me today, Professor Kim."

"No, thank you." He chuckles and finally shifts his full attention towards you. "How are you today?"

"Uh, could be better but not complaining."

"Yeah? How was class with Professor Jeong?"

"Hm, okay." You hum before shifting in your seat nervously. 

"Just okay?" You nod. "Well, as long as there aren't any complaints or anything you wanna tell me." Namjoon knows you probably aren't having a great time in Yunho's class right now and he doesn't blame you.

"No." You force a smile. "Anyway, I see that I have to do my rotation presentation next week?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry, Y/N. You do understand why this is all happening, right?" You slowly nod. "I know you and San have been seeing each other, and I know he ended things the other day. I'm really sorry, but I just need to protect you both. Word is getting around fast and the dean isn't having it. I can't have him fire San, I can't have him kick you out of the grad program. Please just understand why things have to be this way. I just need it to settle."

"I do." You respond weakly before looking down at your hands. "I'm sorry for causing so much trouble, Professor Kim. I didn't mean— we didn't mean for this to blow up. I-I know we shouldn't have been so sloppy and reckless, and I'm sorry—"

"Hey, hey." He shakes his head with a sympathetic look. "No need to be sorry. I promise all is fine, and that's why I'm here to help and protect you both." You look at him with a sad nod, and you aren't sure why that's the tipping point for you but you suddenly start to break down in front of Professor Kim. He feels his heart breaks because he knows there wasn't any power play in this; he knows San as a person, and he's familiar with you as a student and the work you do. There was no way either of you used any power or position for your advantage. He knew this had been a genuine, real relationship— it's just truly unfortunate it had to unfold this way.

If word hadn't gotten around, maybe Namjoon wouldn't care at all. 

But, he has to now, and that's what makes everything hard about his role.

"I promise everything is going to be okay." He says softly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to—" Namjoon shakes his heas, watching the way you cry into your hands.

"Y/N, it's okay. You can let it out if you need to." He passes you the tissue box. "Can I ask you something? And be honest. I've already figured out your plan for school so you don't have to hold back." Namjoon says. "Do you care about him?" You nod as you continue to cry, the ache in your chest making it hard for you to breathe. 

You miss San.

"But, it doesn't matter because he ended it. It's over with."

"He only did so because of my guidance, and I'm sorry about that. I told him this too, but it's not something I wanted to do. Trust me. As his friend, it's the first time I've seen him genuinely and truly happy. It's all I wanted after the things he's gone through. But, I just can't risk it right now. San is beginning to reach new heights with his career and getting more real estate to do things he's been wanting to do with Jongho. You're also just getting into the groove of things. I don't want either of your hard work to get snatched away over something like this."

"No, I know Professor Kim. I do understand and I'm grateful. It just sucks. I don't know how else we would've gotten away with it, I guess." You sniff. "Maybe it had to happen."

"Look, I told him this, too. But, I can't police every detail and tell you who you can and can't date. If San is someone you care about, then so be it, but the only thing I ask of you is to keep it off campus. I cannot have you two interacting on campus or else he's out. Not by my choice, but the committee."

"I don't want anything to happen to him."

"I know, and he said the same thing about you. He cares just as much, so don't think that he doesn't." You dab your face with the napkin and nod.

"Jiung confessed and told me he came to you about it." Namjoon nods.

"I think he was just worried as your friend. Rightfully so. But, I think he also shouldn't have jumped to those conclusions right away."

"I told him that."

"If I hadn't known San so well, I probably would've believed Jiung." He sighs. "It's alright, he didn't know and he was worried. Are you two okay?"

"Not really, but I think we just need time. I'm trying to see his side of things, but I also didn't think he'd do that so it caught me off guard."

"I see. Well. Give yourself some time and grace, okay? I'm sorry it had to be this way for now." You give him a tiny, toothless smile. Eyes still shiny and watery from the crying you've just done. 

I'm sorry it had to be this way for now.

It repeats in your head over and over again because why does it feel like this is just how it's gonna be? Despite Namjoon reassuring you, despite San's explanation. Why does it just feel like a fleeting moment? A chapter in your book— a part that was never really supposed to last.

"Thank you." He gives you a smile.

"So, shifting to the program. I was thinking I could pull you into my lab and we can figure out things as time goes on? Explore other options if there's anything else you'd wanna explore." You nod. "You know there's other paths we can look into, or if you're totally fine with where you're at in my lab, then we can just stick with that plan."

"That sounds good. Thank you, Professor Kim."

"Unfortunately, like I mentioned, I can't have you interacting with Professor Choi. I'll have to make sure you don't take any of his classes or end up in any collaboration projects with him." You nod.

"Okay. I understand." 

"You'll have to halt all your work in his lab immediately. You can grab your things when you feel ready to, but I'll have you in my lab starting next week. I know it'll be a bit crazy with your rotation presentation, but I promise to make it a smooth transition." 

"Okay." You purse your lips. "I'm almost finished with my rotation presentation."

"That's great!"

"It'll just be us three?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's not the usual format but I need the dean to see all the good work you do."

"Thank you. I appreciate your support."

"Do you have any questions so far? Any other concerns?" You think for a second before shaking your head.

"No."

"I'll send you some onboarding info and give you the contacts to some key people in my lab to help you get started. We can figure out your project and goals in a little more depth next week. Let's aim for a Monday morning meeting? 9am?"

"Good with me." 

"Thanks, Y/N. And please trust me when I say all is gonna be well."

"Thank you." 

"See you next week? Be sure to keep an eye out for my emails." You nod as you stand and tuck your bag closely to you.

"I will." You give him another smile before heading out of the door. Namjoon pinches the bridge of his nose and plops back down onto his chair, picking up his direct line to ring the dean's office phone. It rings for a few minutes before the dean is answering on the other end.

"Namjoon."

"Hey. Can we meet today to talk about what's been going on? I can be over in the next 15 minutes."

"I'm free, but I have a hard cut off in 45 minutes."

"That's plenty of time. I'll be there soon."

"See you." Joon hangs up and gathers his things, loosening his tie to get himself together for this meeting. He doesn't necessarily wanna do this, nor does he think he's ready for whatever the dean could unleash on him.

On you, on San.

But, he has a job to do and he'll make damn sure he gets his point across. He'll make damn sure he controls this well, and he'll make sure nothing happens to the both of you.

When he gets into the building and heads straight for the dean's office, he's greeted by the front desk and his executive assistant. The dean's assistant knocks on his door and pops her head in to give him a heads up about Namjoon's visit. It isn't long before she's gesturing for him to come into his office, stepping out and slowly shutting the door behind her once Namjoon's settled in the seat in front of him.

"Namjoon."

"Dean Louie." Namjoon clears his throat. "Can we discuss what's been going on? I've got a chance to review this more in depth."

"Great. So, tell me. What's with the anonymous tip? Is there truth behind San and his student's relationship?"

"No." The dean looks at him with his head cocked to the side. "Not at all."

"Namjoon. This isn't the time to play games."

"Who said I was?" Joon asks. "This is purely a rumor and there is nothing going on between the two of them. To keep things safe, I'll make sure they don't cross paths and interact on campus, and I'll make sure to work closely with her and keep her under my wing." Namjoon says.

"A rumor? That blew up around campus? What about Iseul and Yunho? Iseul told me about the happy hour event with San. All of this seems too good to be true, and if you're covering for them—" Namjoon cuts him off.

"Since when did Iseul and Yunho have their best interest in San? All I know is that they've always been the driving issue, not San." Namjoon looks at the dean confused. "I don't mean to be disrespectful, but a rumor is a rumor and I've gotten to the bottom of it. I talked to the both of them and they denied it through and through. The only reason why San got caught up in the whole happy hour business was because a postdoc was crossing the line and being really disrespectful to her. Any one of us would've done it had we caught it right away like San did." Namjoon continues to furrow his brows. "Now, please. I'd appreciate if we can move on." The dean sits back and lets out a hefty sigh.

"Go on."

"As stated in my email, she will do her rotation presentation in front of myself, you and San. After that, she will be removed from his lab and will be placed in mine. We'll have weekly check-ins, and I'll work with her to move her classes around and realign her priorities so that she and San don't cross paths in this program again."

"And what about this real estate in the building? I'm not going to give it over if this is what San plans to do—"

"I'm sorry, but this shouldn't define San and his work." Namjoon pauses. "He's not, alright? I already confirmed it was a rumor and there is nothing going on. No reason for you to pull back on that real estate deal especially when Jongho had nothing to do with this either and San has already explained his side and agreed to comply regardless. She'll be out of his lab." The dean gives Namjoon a stern look.

"You better make damn sure this doesn't happen again, Namjoon. No rumors, no slip ups. And you make sure those three stop causing trouble on campus. Iseul, Yunho and San. I don't care who did what and who is blaming who, I need this to stop. Now. We can't have childish, petty issues running amuck on this campus."

"You have my word."

"If I hear San and Y/N in the same sentence again, I can't promise it will be the same outcome."

"With all due respect, I need you to understand that whatever they do, whatever happens off campus, doesn't concern me and shouldn't concern you either. I cannot police their behavior and make them act a certain way off grounds. They are both grown, mature adults that can make decisions on their own, and you know that's unfair and very unrealistic." The dean doesn't say much. He mutters a few things under his breath before he's returning his attention to Namjoon.

"Not a damn word about them ever again, Namjoon. I mean it." The dean warns him again before settling into his seat and returning his attention to his desktop computer. Namjoon does a quick, silent bow before walking out, sighing loudly to himself as he's finally gotten that over with.

Still doesn't make it any easier knowing he had his friend make a very difficult decision that he did not wanna do.

He hopes in time, this could blow over and San could be happy again. Despite this hurdle, he's betting on it. On you and him.

Maybe when you come back together, circumstances will be different enough that it won't make the relationship seem as bad as it does right now.

"Shit." Namjoon clicks his teeth when he finally gets out of the building and breathes in the fresh air. He is exhausted, but his day isn't about to be over, no. On his way back to his office, he finds Yunho speaking to a few colleagues in the courtyard. He must have gotten out of a meeting and was walking his visitors out.

And Namjoon doesn't give a fuck. That visit is ending now.

"Professor Kim! It's an honor to see you in the flesh!" Namjoon smiles at his guests before returning the favor.

"Hi there." Namjoon does a curt bow. "Hope you've enjoyed your visit."

"Completely. We had a great collaboration meeting with Professor Jeong here, and he gave us a tour around."

"That's great, yeah." Namjoon smiles before looking at Yunho. "Can we talk in my office?" Namjoon says near Yunho's ear. "Now?"

"Sure." Yunho bids his last farewell before excusing himself and following Namjoon straight to his office. No words being spoken or shared. Namjoon shuts the door and sighs, looking at Yunho with his hand on his hip. "What's going on, Joon?"

"I'm just trying to understand why you and Iseul are trying so hard to ruin that man's reputation. The dean told me Iseul went over there to give him more of her little intel on San."

"I don't know what she said or did—"

"You still knew about it, didn't you?" Namjoon looks at him. "You knew this whole time Iseul was trying to raise hell about this and you let her."

"How is this not wrong?"

"No one said it wasn't wrong, Yunho!" Namjoon raises his tone. "There were just better ways to go about it than throwing San's name out there the way you two did. Just throwing him out there to the wolves without even knowing the full story. That's the problem!"

"I'm sorry, it doesn't seem like it now, but we were looking out for him and everyone else potentially involved."

"Except me. If you knew better, you both would've let me handle this accordingly. This doesn't just affect him, Yunho. It affects you both. It affects me. It affects Y/N, Jongho, everyone. Because you both didn't know how to be discreet about your plans to bring San down."

"It was never like that!"

"Then, what was it like? Tell me. As his colleague, as someone who acted purely for their own benefit, what was it like? As San's ex-bestfriend, what was it like?" Yunho doesn't respond. "This isn't high school, Yunho. I'm sorry, but the both of you need to grow up."

"We just tried to do the right thing and I don't take any of it back. If you fail to see that, then that's on you—"

"Oh, so approaching the dean to give him more talk in his ear with your so-called evidence before coming to me is doing the right thing?" Namjoon looks at him. "What was the goal here? What did this plan look like to you and Iseul?” He shakes his head. “No, actually, I don't wanna hear it, she already came into my office to talk my ear off about this. That should've been enough to let me handle it." Namjoon furrows his brows at him. 

"We just thought we were helping everyone—"

"Helping? Yourself or Iseul?" Namjoon shakes his head. "You know what, this is done. The damage is done. So, thank you and Iseul for your generous help." Yunho sighs. "Now that you've done all the talking, it's my turn." Joon steps closer to him. "As long as I'm around, I'll continue to keep the peace in this department, and that means I don't want you and Iseul meddling in San's personal matters ever again." Namjoon's jaw ticks as he and Yunho stare at each other in the brief pause that falls between them. "I don't want you meddling in Y/N's personal matters, I don't want you two doing anything on this campus besides running your labs and minding your own goddamn business. Do you understand me?" Namjoon places his hands on his hips while he and Yunho maintain eye contact. Yunho swallows thickly before nodding, digging his hands in his pockets.

"Yes sir."

"The next time you and Iseul wanna act like I don't know how to do my job, I promise I'll be good with reminding you."

—read 14.5 here

—taglist: @asjkdk @interweab @woojirang @svintsandghosts @cheolliehugs @persphonesorchid @mxnsxngie @jycas @cowboydk @vcutparis @chngbnwf @struggling101 @sanhwalvr @angelqueendom @barbielibra @brown88 @choisansplushie @yunhoswrldddd @hyukssunflower @vickykazuya @lucid-galaxys-world @jaytheatiny @pommelex @thechaotictheoryy @vixensss @santineez @nopension @domfikeluva @in-somnias-world @my-atiny-kookie-rkive @mountiiny @naoristerling @onmymymyway @thecutiepieme @wyrated

[dejatiny]

pixel art stamp concepts!~

[dejatiny]

I need him…

[dejatiny]

[dejatiny]

I totally slept wrong my neck is absolutely killing me

[dejatiny]

Chapter 9

Beyond the Lens - Logbook Videographer!Reader x OT8 Ateez

W/C 7,878

🎥 Series Masterlist 🎥

☽ Masterlist ☾ 

Inspiration Pictures

Pinterest Board Masterlist

Previous Chapter (Chapter 8)

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction. It is not meant to assume or mock anything about Ateez, Atiny, or anything relating to what I do not know about being a videographer.

Contains she/her pronouns.

The logo in the center is mine. Please do not reuse or copy.

I strongly recommend looking at the inspiration pictures and the Pinterest boards (which will be updating as the story goes on).

General Warnings: slow burn, cussing, conflict, angst, fluff, and obliviousness. 

CHAPTER WARNINGS - Overthinking and mentions of an abusive family member. Read at your own risk.

Thanks for reading <3 Moonie

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

You actually woke up to your alarm this time. It had been about a week since you got to hang out with the boys after their practice. You grabbed your glasses and swung your legs over the side of the bed to get your day started. Deciding that you were going to be halfway comfortable and halfway stylish you opted to grab a big My Chemical Romance shirt and some ripped up jeans. There was no telling if you were going to be sitting and monitoring cameras or if you were going to be wearing the harness and recording the boys talking to Atiny. 

After getting dressed, packing your dobok (uniform) into your backpack with your laptop, and doing your morning routine you said goodbye to the giants. Stepping into the garage you grabbed your helmet quickly putting it on and you got on Ink to head to KQ. Before you took off you tied your hair back to make sure that it wouldn't be in your way. It was steadily getting warmer and you looked forward to being able to ride more often. Thankfully you had missed the early morning chill. You blasted some Ateez on the way and you had made it there just as the others had. Getting off the bike you took off your helmet and put it under your arm. You passed Willow who was nursing what was most likely her second cup of coffee. She nodded at you and got out of her car. Forrest and Aurora were already standing on the sidewalk chatting. You smiled as you approached them deciding you were going to be a pain in the ass. You put down your helmet and jumped on Forrest’s back as a greeting. He almost toppled over with you, Aurora was laughing at your antics. You knew that he would be able to catch you because this was a normal thing for you. Once he recovered he readjusted you and stood there with you on his back, he had just continued like nothing happened. Unbeknownst to you a couple of the boys had seen you and were almost steaming at you being on his back. 

Willow approached the three of you, “Who is doing what today, we need to start setting up if practice starts in an hour.” 

“I have no idea, want to play kai bai bo to figure it out?” You asked, scooting up on Forrest’s back. 

“Sure,” Willow held her hand out “gawi, bawi, bo” each of you held out your hands, the three of them had chosen rock while you chose scissors. 

“Oh fuck all of you,” you scrambled to get off Forrest’s back. You puffed your cheeks out, snatched your helmet off of the ground and stomped away. 

“You get to wear the harness today,” Aurora shouted after you. You swiped your card and marched in toward the office. Setting your helmet down on your desk you started rummaging around in the office looking for the harness that you had to wear. You had found it tucked away in one of the storage closets. Someone had the common sense to hang it, thank god that thing was damned expensive. Honestly you didn't really mind wearing the harness it was more about how they all chose the same thing and you were the odd one out. 

“Good morning Shutterbug,” you turned to look at Hongjoong. He was wearing a jean jacket, sweats and a cute hat. You felt all of the tension leave your body while you turned to look at him.

“Good morning Joongie,” you bowed with a small smile on your face. 

“Aish, I told you don’t do that,” he dismissed you, walking into the room. You had forgotten that he told you that. He had gotten tired of you doing that within the first few days of you being around them. The rest of your team walked in shortly after he had plopped into your chair. You set the harness down on your desk and leaned over the back of the chair, you rested your hands on Hongjoong’s shoulders and sat your head on top of his. 

“What is the plan for today?” Aurora asked the room. 

“We are going to be going over the last bit of our choreography to clean everything up for the MV shoot next week. We were wanting to have three cameras around the room that are stationary and someone walking around with a camera just in case we have something we would like to say to Atiny. We plan to have practice for most of the day today.”

“Sounds good, I will be the one moving around today, but I will have my computer setup in the corner so we can stream all of the cameras to it again. Let's get moving so I have the time to make sure everything is situated before everyone starts getting here.” You stepped away from Hongjoong and smiled at him when he turned around in your chair to look at you. 

You grabbed the camera you would be using and put it onto the portable desk you requested from KQ. They spared no expense and had gotten you one that had a little bit of storage. You put the other backpack with the streaming things onto it as you wheeled it toward the practice room. Everyone followed you out of the room after they grabbed their cameras, tripods and suction cups. Hongjoong was walking beside you, he had almost stolen the portable desk from you but you gently hip checked him out of the way. You could feel his eyes roll as you continued walking. You made it to the practice room and wheeled yourself into the back corner opposite of their setup. Gently you unpacked all of the things you needed. First the router, then the laptop. The team had come and taken the cameralinks to set up their cameras. You got everything booted up and checked the cameras that had started to connect up. 

“Fuck, I forgot the harness” you groaned throwing your head back. Forrest, the perceptive person he is, walked over to you with the harness. “You're a lifesaver, I really didn't want to have to leave to go grab it.” 

“Like we have said before, where would you be without us?” He remarked walking away after you took it from him.

“Probably out playing in traffic like a chicken with its head cut off,” Willow said from across the room. You flipped her the bird and Aurora laughed at you. Hongjoong chuckled from beside you. He always watched you set up if he was there. You looked at him and squinted, you pulled your glasses down your nose to glare at him. He fell into more laughter. You pushed your glasses back up and stuck your tongue out at him. He did the same to you and you heard someone snort. Looking around you saw the choreographer. He was watching you and Hongjoong like you were two teenagers in love. 

You looked at your computer and checked the angles of the cameras. “Hey Rora, you need to adjust the side mirror camera to the left just a smidge, it isn't quite centered. Tree boy, the one on the front mirror looks good. Lo, yours needs to go slightly to the right.” They minutely adjusted their cameras and you gave them a thumbs up. You grabbed the harness from where you set it down. 

Joongie, can you help me into the harness? It is fairly simple. All I need you to do is adjust the buckles and help me clip everything up.” He nodded to you and stepped back so you could get it over your body. Once you had it on you turned your back to him and pulled your hair out of the way. He was gentle with pulling on the straps as he swiftly fixed it to fit you. 

“Is that okay? Do I need to make it looser or tighter?” He asked. 

You did a mental checklist of where the pressure was and how much movement you had. “It feels good Joongie, thank you.” you grabbed the metal arm and put it into the slot, after you were sure it was secure you grabbed your camera. Making sure the cameralink was attached and where it needed to be you booted up the camera. As soon as you turned it on it started streaming its feed to your computer. You adjusted some of the camera settings to make sure the lighting looked good. Once you were satisfied it looked good you started walking around getting the feeling for having it on after so long. Hongjoong had stuck by your portable desk and watched as you went and spoke to the rest of the team. 

As you were speaking to Aurora, Hongjoong spoke up to make sure his voice reached everyone. “I just got a message that the rest of the boys will be here shortly.” You walked back to your computer. You looked at your team, they were already watching you. You nodded at them and they turned on their portion of the recording. You pushed a couple of buttons on your camera and computer making sure everything was working correctly on your end. Aurora walked over to you and the portable desk to start watching the feed. Willow was going to head back to the office because she had a deadline she needed to meet. Thankfully if anything went awry she would be close. Forrest sat himself down in the front of the room right under the camera on the mirror. You made your way to the front corner of the room to get some decent angles for the dancing shots. Hongjoong and the choreographer had started up the music and were practicing while they were waiting for everyone else to arrive. Now it was time to wait. 

Thankfully you did not have to wait long as the boys had started coming in one by one. The boys had started checking their choreography as everyone was showing up. Yeosang and Seonghwa appeared not too long after you had settled watching Hongjoong and the choreographer. 

Were they trying to kill you? They both looked so good. Seonghwa with a backwards cap, a black tank top, and sweats. That man was so fine. Not to mention Yeosang, he may have had a cardigan over his tank top but the small glimpse of his arms had almost sent you into cardiac arrest. You were thoroughly intrigued by Yeosang’s choice of pants today. They had high slits on both legs which prompted him to wear what looked like leggings under them. You would definitely have to ask him where he got those. 

They both approached you as soon as they caught sight of you. You turned the viewfinder to the front so they could check their appearance. Both of them checked themselves out and made a couple of faces at the camera. You covered your mouth to stifle your giggle at them. They looked at you with smiles and walked off to go start prepping their choreography before the rest of them got here. You rotated the viewfinder back as San came waltzing in. He looked to make sure he was out of the way before stepping beside you and speaking in a quiet tone, “what is that? I’ve never seen something like that.” You waved to Wooyoung as he came into the room. 

“It is a harness and gimbal setup that keeps my camera steady when I am filming. It is especially helpful for days like today where I know I am going to be filming a lot.” 

“Ahh, I see.” He said quietly, once he was satisfied he gave you a pat on the head and walked toward Yuhno at the back of the studio with the computer. All of the rest of them greeted you with a smile as they wandered in and sometimes they stayed in front of your camera to check their reflection. You snickered at each one of them while they made faces at the camera. Little did you know they were doing it to get a reaction out of you and not for Atiny. 

While you were waiting for everyone to get here Seonghwa, San, and Wooyoung had taken to walking up to where you were standing and checking themselves in the flipped viewfinder; more often than you thought necessary.

As they were practicing the boys had gone in and out. You had giggled as they came back in time with their parts. Specifically when Seonghwa came in dancing backwards, and again when Mingi appeared with his sunglasses on. Those would have to be pulled from the mirror cameras to get the best shots. You pulled out your phone and texted Aurora. You watched as she grabbed her phone and hit a couple of buttons. She looked at you with a thumbs up. Through the years of working with each other you had come up with a quick system of silent communication. Ironically enough you learned it from the bastard who deleted your footage, he was all about shortcuts. 

As the boys had continued practicing you knew that you would be doing lots of cuts back and forth to make sure you had most of the boys in your shots. When it came down to it you had made sure to follow the center person with your camera. Every once in a while you would catch one of them looking at you. They seemed to be acting as if you were their audience, which was going to technically be true because you would be filming them while they performed. On more than one occasion you caught them winking and smiling directly at you, you chalked it up to them flirting with the camera.  

The time came for a break after about an hour of them practicing. You knew you had a short amount of time to go and grab drinks for everyone. You turned off your cameras recording and walked to the back of the room where the rest of your team was huddled up. Willow had reappeared and quickly came in a few minutes ago.

“I am going to get myself a drink, do any of you want anything?” You asked as you approached. 

“I'll have a water if you don’t mind” Willow chirped

“I'll take anything with flavor!” Forrest replied shortly after 

“I’m okay, I have my water.” Aurora motioned to her sticker covered tumbler sitting next to the computer.

“Okay, I will grab those and be back in a few minutes! Will one of you hold this?” You took off the arm from the harness with the camera on it and offered it out to them. Aurora took it from you. “Thanks!” You walked off following the trail of boys toward the drinks. 

“Thank you for staying back for a minute, I have an interesting question to ask you. I ask that you be open minded with what I am about to ask.” 

‘Okay, we are all ears.” 

“We would like to ask if you think that Y/N would be remotely interested in joining our relationship.” 

They all looked between each other with wide eyes. Smirks adorned their faces as they looked back to the man in front of them. They knew it.

“She has always been very open minded. I am not sure how she feels about poly relationships because I have not seen her in one, but I know that she is someone who loves wholeheartedly. I don't think she would be opposed, but more surprised.”

“Would you guys be okay with us dating her? We know that you are the closest thing she has to family here and we value your opinion.” 

“I don't mind one bit, I will tell you that she is hesitant about relationships because she has been burned in the past.” 

“I think that you guys will be really good for her, she deserves all of the love in the world.”

“I am hesitant because there are eight of you, but I can see how much you truly care for her so I know I will warm up to the idea. If any of you hurt her, I am not afraid of you being a very public figure, I have connections and know how to hide a body.”

“Duly noted, I will let the others know that as well.” 

“We will support all of you, if anything we have been trying to get her to see how blatantly you guys have been flirting with her, she is so smart, but so oblivious.”

“We will see if we can get her to notice.” 

“Thank you, for everything, your opinion on the matter means so much to us.”  

★☆☽ O ☾☆★

“What do you think of the choreography so far?” Seonghwa asked you as you approached the stash of drinks. 

“I really like it, I am so excited to see how they pull off the concept. I'm sure all of you will look so good with whatever they come up with.” You said grabbing a couple of waters and a gatorade for Forrest. 

“Wait, Y/N!” You turned to look at San who was holding a Monster out for you. “I grabbed this for you, it is getting close to your nap time so I figured you would need some sugar.“ You looked at him in shock, you could feel the heat raising up your neck.

“That's my favorite, how in the world did you know?” You asked, taking it from his outstretched hand. 

“I see you with Monster a lot, this is just the one I see you with most frequently so I took a guess.” he said rubbing the back of his neck. 

“You are the sweetest, thank you so much.” You kissed his cheek. His eyes got comically wide as you pulled away. You giggled and started walking back to the practice room. As you were making your way back to the practice room you could hear the laughter erupt behind you. San must be cherry red wearing that cute small embarrassed smile. When you got back to the practice room you handed the drinks to your team, took the camera arm and attached it while walking. You sat on the floor next to the farthest marker and smiled up at Yeosang who came to sit by you. Both of you sat in silence watching the rest of the boys, choreographers, and your team.

“I love being able to people watch, even though I hate people.” You watched as some of the boys were practicing to get something down. You turned to look at your team that was just hovering by the the laptop. 

“I do as well, I have always wanted someone to sit and do this with as most of the boys get bored and don't pay any attention. I always like knowing what others perceive from watching others.”

“If you need someone to sit with and people watch let me know. I don't even mind if we aren't people watching and just sitting with each other. I am content just being in a room without talking.” You said with a smile. He looked at you and smiled but before he could reply Hongjoong called everyone back. You quickly put your vest back on and started recording again. 

You watched as they started practicing again, in between all of the cuts you saw Jongho mess with Yeosang. He had a hold of his shoulders and was waving him around. You messaged Aurora again and she gave you a thumbs up. After a while you were watching them get back into the full swing of things

In between dancing Yuhno had walked up to the camera on the mirror across the room from you. He started doing a little Ice on My Teeth dance while the others were lining things up behind him. You looked at Aurora. She was smacking Willow, who was standing beside her as calm as a cucumber. Her eyes were comically wide at the display, you didn’t text her this time because you knew she already bookmarked it. You chuckled at her, she had always been able to be calm around the boys but when it came down to Yuhno she freaked the fuck out. He was her bias which was absolutely hilarious because she had his female counterpart for a wife. Both of them were such golden retrievers, she definitely had a type. 

You suddenly got the craving for something sweet, you already finished your monster which deeply saddened you. You grabbed your phone out of your pocket and put in an order for you and everyone else. It wouldn’t be fair if you got something and didn’t share. You messaged Willow and asked if she would go out and get the drinks when they got here. A little while later you got the notification that they were here. You got Willow’s attention and gestured to the door. She nodded and silently made her way to go grab the drinks. She brought everything back in, handling the thirteen drinks beautifully. She grabbed hers and Aurora’s before heading back to the computer. You threw something small at Forrest to get his attention. His attention snapped to you as you pointed down to the drinks at your feet. His eyes immediately lit up and he slowly attempted to make his way over without being too suspicious, which only made him look more suspicious. You caught Aurora and Willow laughing in the back corner at him. 

As soon as the boys started taking a break you got their attention and pointed to the drinks at your feet. Thank god you had taken note of what everyone liked previously, otherwise this would have been a disaster. They all lit up and made their way toward you.

“Everyone should have their own drink and one for the choreographer too.” You watched as they picked through the drinks and handed them out to each other. Each of them thanked you in their own way, Wooyoung, San, Mingi and Yuhno hugged your sides being careful of the camera and harness. It was then that you noticed the ache starting to settle into your shoulders and legs. Fuck around, you had forgotten how harsh this was on your body, even if you were standing mostly still and leaning against the wall it did a number on you. It would be okay for a little while longer.

Jongho and Yeosang lifted their cups to you in a cheers motion. Seonghwa and Hongjoong smiled at you with small bows. The choreographer bowed politely and thanked you before moving over to the center of the room to talk to the boys as they rested. Most of the boys had wandered around the room listening to the choreographer as he addressed them. Mingi had a specific question about his movements and just as you were getting your camera to focus on him, San stepped in front of you. 

He flirted with the camera a little before noting that the choreography was really cool. He gave you a thumbs up before he left. You looked over to Aurora and Willow and they were both snickering. You raised your eyebrow in question and they shook their heads at you. You offered a thumbs up to Aurora and she gave you one back indicating that she bookmarked the spot. 

“He totally did that to just go talk to her.” 

“Absolutely, the only thing is, did she notice or think of it like that? Or was it “just him speaking to Atiny” 

Just shortly after you were watching the boys monitor their choreography when Mingi knocked over Wooyoung’s coffee. Hongjoong had freaked out just a little and you laughed at the whole situation. When Wooyoung got back from doing whatever he was doing he noticed his spilt coffee. Hongjoong jumped in and offered his two cents while they made up talking about a coffee date later. 

You startled as Seonghwa approached. He had been in and out of the room and you hadn’t noticed him amidst the chaos. He had stepped beside you and gently put his head on your shoulder. You smiled and put your head on top of his. You could feel your heartbeat pick up and you worried that he might be able to hear how fast it was beating. Glancing over to Aurora and Willow they were already looking at you and they had raised eyebrows. Aurora broke out into a smile at something Willow whispered into her ear. She over exaggerated a wink in your direction. You rolled your eyes and looked back to your camera. Just as quickly as he appeared he left, you watched him walk back over to the choreographer and start asking questions. 

You turned to look at Forrest who was at the zero mark just waiting until he was needed. “Psst, Forrest,” he looked at you with his head tilted to the side. “Can we trade for a bit? This harness is starting to hurt me.” He nodded and stood up, making sure to avoid the camera above his head. Gently and quickly you took off the harness and helped him get settled into it. Once you both were satisfied that everything was okay you ducked under the camera and walked out of the room. Thankfully you had stashed some pain medication in your KQ office. 

As you wandered through the office you passed many people waving at the ones you recognized. You had passed Eden and the rest of his crew. They waved at you with large smiles. You had become close with them over the past few weeks. Generally new people freaked you out but just as soon as you got to know them you realized they were just like the boys just a little older. 

You just turned the corner to the office before you heard Willow calling out your name. You turned to look at her and smiled. She caught up to you and threw her arm around your shoulder. You held back your wince and walked the rest of the way to your office. 

“Are you okay, are your legs hurting you again?” She asked once you closed the door. You nodded and went to your desk digging through it to find the pain meds. You downed the pills with a drink of water you left here the other day. 

Yeah, that and my shoulders, that damn thing can get heavy after having it on for hours. You bent your leg to get your knee to pop to see if it would relieve some of the pressure. It did, but you let out a groan because it also hurt like hell for a second. You glanced at Willow as she winced. You knew she was remembering when you told her about what happened in college. Which made you think back to the entire ordeal. 

You had been filming something for a school project and one step wrong while you were framing a shot led to it popping out and right back into place. Being the busy dumbass you are you didn’t rest properly after doing that and you had to get a surgery to fix the instability. Which led to you being out for almost a year learning how to walk again. On the plus side you did have a gnarly looking scar on your left knee. You put your foot back on the ground and tested your weight on that leg. Thankfully you were stable, sometimes you wobbled after a pop like that. 

“Come on, we should probably get back, the boys were taking a quick break before starting to film the full thing.”You nodded and started to walk toward the door, you almost got smacked in the face with how quickly the door swung open. You leapt back just a little and looked to see who had flung open the door. Yuhno stood there with a large smile. 

“Damnit Yuyu you almost took me out,” you rolled your eyes and walked over to the tall man. Making a shooing motion you ushered him out of the doorway so you could get back to the practice room. He threw his arm around you as soon as you got into the hallway. You felt the twinge of pain flare up at the place he rested his arm around your shoulders. You shook your head at him and turned to look at Willow who was just a step behind you. She was smiling at you mischievously. You ignored the look and turned to look at Yuhno, he was smiling at some of the people you passed by. His face was a little red from practicing all day. The thing that caught you most was when he turned to look at you, his eyes widened just a hair and you saw his face get just slightly more red. He held eye contact with you for what felt like a millisecond before greeting Eden and his team. 

This man is so beautiful. His personality shines so brightly when he is surrounded by the people who support him. You could tell that everyone here cared for him, and he them. Most of the people you passed greeted him, and by extension you. You smiled politely and kept walking. Not even half of those people had greeted you, even some of the ones you recognized. 

Why would someone like him want to be associated with you? Why would someone so much like a ray of sunshine want to be anywhere near someone who was a shadow. You could feel yourself falling into your old habits, ones that weren’t mentally healthy. You could see the light he brought to a room. How well loved he is and compared yourself to him, how could you not; especially when it was all you grew up with. 

Why can’t you be more like them? Why can’t you have a social life like them? Why do you stay in your room all the time? Why haven’t you found yourself a boyfriend yet? Why aren’t you going to school for something actually useful like a doctor? How come all you wear is black? Why not add some color to your wardrobe? 

Before you even realized you were back in the practice room. Forrest was hanging out talking to Yeosang and San about something. You pulled away from Yuhno and headed to where Forrest had been. You sat against the mirror. Closing your eyes you focused on the cool seeping into you, it was grounding. Focusing on your body however leads you to feel the pain of your shoulders and knee. You raised your right hand to gently massage the junction between your shoulder and neck. You opened your eyes to see Hongjoong and Jongho looking at you with concerned looks on their faces. You waved them off with the hand that was massaging your shoulder. You let your other hand rest on your knee to put some pressure on it so maybe it would stop hurting so bad. 

“One more time and then we run it through to record it.” You heard the choreographer say from the side of the room. Everyone shifted back into being professionals and you watched as they almost flawlessly danced to the rhythm pumping through the speakers. 

“Y/n, can you record this or me while I watch?” The choreographer asked you. You nodded and stood up slowly bracing your hands on your knees. Everyone went to the mirrors to cover them. Once they finished you grabbed your phone from your pocket and started the recording. You had taken some creative liberties with the recording, making sure to follow the leads and get closer to the choreography as needed. Once they finished dancing you walked to the back with them to plug in your phone so they could watch the video.

“I love the angles you got Y/n,” Yuhno said, his eyes not leaving the monitor. The rest of them hummed in agreement. You heard someone behind you and turned to find a couple of people you didn’t recognize. You took a step to the side, effectively running into Jongho. You smiled sheepishly at him and subconsciously rubbed your shoulder. Taking a step back you felt your heel catch something. You stopped all movement and realized it was one of the new people. You muttered a sorry as he stepped aside to let you out. Quickly stepping away from the huddle of men you released a breath. You went to the only solid wall and leaned against it. Your heart was beating a little faster and you could feel your breath coming out a little quicker. You closed your eyes and tightened your hands into fists. Now isn’t the fucking time for this. 

You aren’t there, you are here. You could feel your heartbeat slow a little as you muttered the affirmation to yourself over and over. You are surrounded by good people, not your father and his friends. You aren’t their punching bag, they are normal people. Your breathing started to even back out from the erratic pattern. Thinking about that wretched man has always sent you into a more sensitive state. He haunted you even after all this time, you could feel the ghost of him at your back sometimes; just waiting to grab you and throw you around. You could still hear the hurtful words that he had thrown at you. Once remembered they chimed through you like a bell; the reverberations always lingering. You opened your eyes and counted down from twenty releasing a long breath. 

Thankfully the boys hadn’t noticed as they were too wrapped up in their monitoring. Aurora, Willow and Forrest did though. You could feel their looks on you. You turned to the side and looked at Aurora and Willow. Willow mouthed “are you okay?” you gave her a small nod and looked back at the boys. They had separated and were chattering about how to fix some of the more minute details. You went and grabbed your phone before heading back to the front of the room awaiting further instructions. You watched as the choreographer went over things with a couple of the boys. Yeosang had wandered out of the room for something and as he made his way back you watched as he closed the door with his butt. You couldn't hold back the laughter that erupted from you. His gaze snapped to you as he realized that you were one of the only ones who saw him. He blushed cherry red and put his head down wandering toward the monitor in the back.

Everyone had practiced a little more and as Wooyoung was leaving the monitoring station he yelled Movement check and you watched as Seonghwa glared at him and shook his head. You lightly laughed at the reference. 

The rest of the day went smoothly you had only had to do a couple more takes of them doing their thing until they were done. You helped Forrest out of the vest and carried it out of the room. Aurora and Willow were quick to dismantle the rest of your setup and made their way after you and Forrest. Once you were happy with where everything was you grabbed your helmet and started toward Ink. 

“Hey Y/N want to go out to eat with us?” You turned around and were met with San and Yuhno. 

“If it were any other day, I would love to but I have weekly plans.” You responded, hefting your backpack over your shoulder. Your laptop and your change of clothes which made it fairly heavy. Thankfully the meds had kicked in and you were relatively pain free.

“Ahh I see, well I hope you have fun! We will see you soon,” San said with a large smile and a hug. 

“Thank you, see you soon!” You replied, returning the hug and giving Yuhno one as well. You meandered the rest of the way to Ink before heading out. You needed the reprieve from today and this was one of the few ways you could escape. You felt the wind in your hair as you drove to one of your favorite places. After a short drive you arrived at The Black Dragon. You have been coming here for just over seven years. It had become a home away from home. When you did some looking into it, and after a few unsuccessful classes, you fell in love with this studio and how their people treated you like family. The owners treat everyone with kindness and are some of the most open minded people you have met.

You got off of Ink and toted your backpack into the dojang. They had all greeted you with warm smiles as you made your way to the small bathroom to change out of your outfit into your all black dobok. You had been recently instructing some of the younger children in your free time before your class took place. You absolutely loved being able to connect and teach them and you seemed to be a fan favorite of the parents because of how you responded to their kids. Most of the time you had heard complaints that the other instructors elsewhere were too hard on them but you pride yourself on being understanding and kind to them. They were little kids after all. 

You walked out to the main room and saw some of your students stretching and having fun. Once they noticed you they all ran to hug you chattering about the week they have had since they last saw you. 

“Sabum-nim, have you had a good week?” You heard one of the boys ask you. 

“Yes, I have had an excellent week.” You ruffled the boy’s hair as you walked past him to the front of the room. When you were satisfied that everyone was here you started the class. You went through the basics just like normal. Going through the lines of children you made small adjustments to some of their stances. Once you were satisfied with how they had progressed you started teaching them something new. 

About an hour later you dismissed the class and greeted some of the parents that had been sitting and watching the class. They all loved to chatter about how the children practiced at home and how much they adored you. Once all of the young children and their families left, all of the adults started filing in. Your class was about to begin, this was something that you looked forward to each week. It helped you release the tension that you were holding. You started your basic stretches, your mind and body falling into autopilot. You were so in your zone that you hadn't noticed a person speaking to you until they put a hand on your shoulder as they walked around in front of you. Because you were in your zone your instinctive response was to knock them on their ass. You kicked at their knees, wrapped your arm around the one on your shoulder, jabbed them in the throat, and knocked their legs out from under them. You heard his shout which brought you back to reality. You looked down to the person who had scared the shit out of you to notice it was a man. You had never seen him before in all of your years coming here. Some of the other people that had been stretching beside you snickered as the man that was on the floor groaned. They knew better than to touch you without your permission especially when you were warming up. They knew how you got after years of learning beside you.

“Ah I see you've met Ji-ho.” You heard Iesul speak from a few feet away. She was one of the women that started about the time you did. You smiled wide at her and walked over to her. She had been away from practice because she just had a baby, you must have missed her the past couple of times because your schedules did not always line up. You stretched your arms out to offer her a hug and she gladly accepted. 

“I've missed having you around, how are you? How is your beautiful baby?” 

“I am doing well, the baby boy is doing well too, this is one of the first couple times I have been back since I have had him.” She responded with enthusiasm. Her voice dropped to a whisper, “He has been here almost every day since last week according to the owner’s wife. He seems to think he is the shit and has been hitting on some of the women around here. If you ask me I think he needed to be knocked down a peg.” You laughed at her and the rest of the people in the short vicinity of you did as well. 

You heard someone clap and you turned around and moved to get into your place next to Iesul. You all bowed to Instructor Chung Ae as he looked down to the floor at Ji-ho who was still in the fetal position clutching his windpipe.

“What are you doing?” He deadpanned. You held back your snicker at his monotone question. He was one of the goofiest men you had met, once you got to know him. You and he had become close over the years. He and his wife had often given you some of the food they had prepared for dinner to take home. He always treated you well and held you to a high standard. Much like a father figure would. He was the closest thing that you had to a true father, even though you only saw him about once a week. 

“Y/N handed his ass to him after he touched her while she was in her zone.” Someone piped up from the back. Everyone snickered at the response. Instructor Chung Ae looked at you and raised his eyebrow. You smirked and shrugged at him, he smiled at you shaking his head. 

“Get up, if you cannot understand the personal space of other people, or take a couple of punches, you can see yourself out.”

Ji-ho got up off the floor and glared at you. You had seen worse glares from babies. All you did was smile at him which seemed to piss him off further. He took his spot toward the back of the room and you turned back to Instructor Chung Ae. Once he was satisfied that Ji-ho was not going to be any more of a hindrance he began the class. 

You continued with everyone for about an hour. Your movements seemed to be smoother and your head clearer once you were finished. The earlier fog and lingering thoughts had dissolved away the more you went through the motions. This class has always brought you clarity, sometimes you came here to clear your mind when you needed inspiration for shoots. There was just something so cathartic about losing yourself in the movements. Most of the time you would join in on whatever class was going at the time, and if it was late you just went cruising on Ink. 

After changing and stopping to chat with some of the other people around you said your goodbyes and made your way out to Ink. As you approached you noticed someone standing next to it, Ji-ho. 

Of fucking course. 

“What's up?” You asked as you approached him and your bike. You were really hoping that he was out here to apologize for invading your space. If you knew his type though, it would be the absolute opposite. Thankfully if he made a scene you had parked close enough to the front of the dojang that they would see you. 

“What the fuck was that in there? Why did you have to embarrass me in front of everyone? I demand an apology.” He got very close and in your face. This man was really asking to be not only punched but laid out on his ass again. 

“First of all, please step the fuck back and get out of my face, we have already established I can put you on your ass. Second of all, if you hadn't noticed, we are close enough to the front of the dojang that we have an audience.” You said looking over your shoulder. There were several people watching you in the window, including Instructor Chung Ae and his wife. “Third of all, I am not afraid of people like you in the slightest. You may act like a big macho man but all you are is a weak ass little boy. I heard about you from a couple of the people there and I can guarantee if you take one more step out of line you will be banned from this establishment. Fourth, you do not deserve an apology for something that could have been prevented by using your common sense to not touch someone when they are not paying attention. So I very highly suggest that you walk the fuck away before anything else happens.” you stated.

He looked at you very unimpressed. He reached out to grab you but before he could even fully raise his arm you heard the ding of the front door. Instructor Chung Ae and his wife came out of the building, you took a side step and bowed to the couple.  She had a small thing of tupperware in her hands and a large smile as they approached you. 

“Everything okay out here Y/N?” Instructor Chung Ae asked as he approached the two of you. 

“That is up to him,” you said, poking a thumb over your shoulder. 

“Everything out here is great, I was just complimenting her on her bike, it is very beautiful.” Ji-ho said with a tight lipped smile. 

Instructor Chung Ae’s wife stepped closer to you, handed you the tupperware and said “you forgot your dinner inside, we figured we would bring it out to you and thank you for helping instruct the children, they seem to love you.”  

You bowed and accepted it with both hands. “Thank you!” 

“Well if everything is okay out here we will let you get home Y/N,” Instructor Chung Ae said, clapping his hand on Ji-ho’s shoulder practically dragging him back inside. Instructor Chung Ae’s wife stayed behind for a second.

“Are you okay? She whispered to you.

“Yes I am perfectly fine, for the safety of the others I would highly recommend him being banned. He was out here demanding an apology and being a complete asshole. I am sure if you hadn't come out he would have ended up back on his ass.” You said in a hushed tone. 

“Consider it done, we will see you next week," she said cheerfully. She turned around and walked back to the building. You looked down at the tupperware in your hand and couldn't help but to be thankful for the two of them and their dojang. 

☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★☆★

Next Chapter (Chapter 10)

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