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This Not Knowing Has Its Charms (Evan Hansen x Reader)

Chapter One of I Wanted It to be You

Notes: I AM SO EXCITED FOR THIS!!!

I’ve been thinking about writing a fic inspired by You’ve Got Mail, and then I was watching it the other night for the millionth time and decided I wanted to do a series based on it. And thus the series I Wanted It to be You was born.

Basically, the reader and Evan met in an online support group for teens with social anxiety…it’s like one of those anonymous groups (like 7 Cups of Tea where you have a username, not your actual name). They’re basically working on getting to know each other without getting into details like what their names are and where exactly they live and stuff. (If this doesn’t make sense, watch You’ve Got Mail. Heck, even this does make sense, watch You’ve Got Mail. It’s the best movie I’ve ever seen.)

This would be in an au where Connor lives, he, Evan, and Jared are besties, and Ev’s meds/therapy are helping (which technically is canon but it’s happening while he’s still in high school for this fic, so).

Warnings: Like one swear word and a tiny bit of social anxiety.

Words: 2006

Keep reading

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LONG TIME NO POST, BUT!!!!!!!

I am seeing DEH ON TOUR ON THE 4th OFJULY!!!!!! My tears are going to be celebrating the independence of America and all these years without seeing this amazing musical!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ #dearevanhansen

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Sunshine Part 1 (Ben Platt x Reader)

Prompt: requested by @just-another-imagine-writer : “Ben Platt/Reader in which reader is super anxious (generalized anxiety) and he tries to help as best as he can and tells her about how brave they are/how Evan would have handled his anxiety (since the reader heavily depends on Evan Hansen’s character as well as Ben himself) *screaming internally bc I don’t like asking off anon but I’m pretty sure you could write this way better than I coULD!!!*”

IM SORRY THIS TOOK ME SO LONG FUCK

Gender neutral Reader btw!!

Warnings: anxiety, anxiousness, spoiler to the first lines of the show ig,

This is two parts bc I felt like this was too long to add a part about Ben helping the reader by saying what Evan would do. 💕💕

I said I while ago I wasn’t gonna write anymore cast member fics bc I didn’t feel like I could know them well enough to get their personality perfectly accurate but here you go it’s an exception bc this prompt is so cute and I feel like I can get Ben pretty accurate after being a ben platt stan™ for like 5 years now lmao. Also I’m so flattered that you think I could write this so good tysm!!!!

Honestly I did so much research for this I didn’t wanna fuck up the GAD (generalized anxiety disorder) parts and not describe them well because I didn’t want to not make it serious enough or just get it wrong bc GAD exposure (or any mental illness exposure) is so important to some people and if I’m gonna contribute to that exposure I’m not gonna get the info wrong!!! Source credits is Wikipedia tho tbh I read the entire wiki article on GAD. Also I tried to include Reader helping Ben too since Ben has anxiety as well so!!! Cute fluff of such a healthy helpful relationship!!!

Nickname (and title) credit to @chelykat451-blog Tysm!!!!

•••••

You had cried the first time you went to see Bens show. It was a clear memory for you, going to the Music Box Theatre much earlier than when the show was set to start. It was the opening night for their move to Broadway, so the street leading up to the theatre was crowded with cameras, fans, and interviewers all dying to get a glimpse of the cast. Ben brought you with him early, hoping that the rest of the cast and crew wouldn’t be mad about him bringing you backstage. You could hear the crowds from down the street, and your increasingly clammy hand began to unconsciously tighten around Bens. He looked at you, knowing your feelings of anxiety reciprocated his own and feeling sympathy. Pulling the hood of your jacket tight, you and Ben walked fast towards the stage door, you on the inside closest to the building, him on the outside waving to fans and smiling to a few before he got to the door, letting you two in.

Once inside the door you let out a shaky breath you didn’t know you were holding, closing your eyes and leaning against a wall, letting your head fall back against it. Ben hesitantly grabbed your shoulders, almost pulling away when you jumped at the contact. You leaned into his chest though, not letting him pull away just yet. He wrapped his arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

“Hey, you were so brave, okay, Sunshine?” He said, using his nickname for you, a reference to your large love for the Beatles song Here Comes The Sun, “I’m so proud of you, you did it! Go Y/N!” Ben whispered into your hair, kissing your head again as you giggled into his chest. Pulling away slowly, he looked into your eyes and gave you a reassuring smile, before taking your hand in his and leading you up the stairs to his dressing room, where you stayed while he got ready for the show. You sat on the couch in his room after stripping off your coat and watched while he prepared. It was mesmerizing watching him put on his costume and get his hair and makeup done. He was so dedicated and focused and you couldn’t be more proud of him. When it reached seven they opened the doors for the nights audience to enter, the rush of the pushing crowd getting louder as more people filed into the theatre. You rubbed your right thumb against the palm of your left hand nervously, bouncing your leg as you knew eventually you’d have to go to your seat and you were sure something would go wrong somehow. Ben noticed your anxiety and walked over, kneeling in front of you on the floor, resting his chin on your knee that wasn’t bouncing, his hands resting on your waist.

“It won’t be long, Sunshine, okay? You’ll only be out there for forty-five minutes and then I’ll be onstage, okay? Just forget everyone around you and focus on me.” Ben said, looking up into your nervous eyes. You looked up from your hands and met his eyes, giving him a reassuring close mouthed grin, silently telling him you would be okay and could do this. You stood up, him following, and wrapped your arms around him in a big hug.

“I love you, and I’m so unbelievably proud of you, Benny,” you told him, feeling slightly emotional as you thought of this journey and all that Ben had done, “Now, break an arm!” You said, joking about the cheesy ‘break a leg’ saying and his characters broken arm. He snorted, his nose crinkling as he laughs.

“Thank you. I love you too, you nerd,” He kissed your forehead before you left his warm embrace, leaving his dressing room and going through a series of doors and down many sets of stairs until you got to your seat. It was in the front toe, with the rest of the friends and family of the cast, next to Ben’s parents and siblings. You smiled at his mom as you sat next to her, your seat being on the outside of the row so nobody was on your left side. She talked excitedly to Bens father for the next forty minutes while you continuously rubbed your thumb on your hand.

~~~~~

After the never ending forty minutes wait, the show started. You watched, tearing up at the sight of your boyfriend on stage, on Broadway, the lead in a show. You knew he was fulfilling his dream, and you couldn’t describe the pride you had for him.

“Dear Evan Hansen, today is going to be a good day, because, because all you have to do is just… just be yourself… and also confidence…” Ben began to ramble as his character, the audience and you included giggling at his nervous rambling. Soon enough, Rachel entered the stage as his mom, but your eyes were still glued on Ben. You noticed his anxious behavior and how he began chewing his nails and messing with the hem of his shirt and you geared up once again. You didn’t stop crying even after the show ended, many hours later.

~~~~~

“Oh my god, Benny, that was beautiful!” you say excitedly as you walk down the hallway backstage to meet up with Ben. He was sweaty and has tears staining and snot covering his face, but you didn’t care. You ran up to him and pulled him into a tight hug, still crying hard from the show.

“Thanks, Sunshine! You liked it? Oh I’m so glad you liked it!” Ben said with just as excitement, his nose crinkling in happiness again.

“Liked it? I loved it!” You pulled away and wiped your tears, even though t was pointless as more continued to fall. Even if Ben wasn’t the lead, the show was still amazing and meant a lot to you. It was very emotional for you being able to see representation of a teen with anxiety, since you were diagnosed when you were fifteen and had dealt with generalized anxiety ever since. Ben knew this, and had told you about the show and character when he first landed the part, telling you that he wanted to use some of your ticks and traits to help make Evan more realistic. You agreed, of course, wanting to see a realistic anxiety representative in media.

“You did great, Benny, that was perfect.” You cried, grabbing each side of his face and giving him a kiss. He rested his hands on your tear-stained cheeks as well, kissing back just as passionately as you did to him.

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Break a leg, Andrew!

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coming out of my rock to post this amazing art. Like wow y’all🤩

Dear Evan Hansen - Act One

(I’m illustrating every song on the DEH soundtrack, see individuals here!)

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Audio yet of Mallory??

Hey everyone! Just checking if there is an audio boot for Mallory as Zoe yet? I have a variety of Aussie production audios for trade if interested me

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I’ll just leave this here

When anyone ask me to tell them about how my anxiety is doing

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“I think the way that the show works [is] with everybody putting up walls and not wanting themselves to be seen, because if they allow themselves to be seen, then they lose. It all just really clicked and made sense, and it seems very human and very honest and very flawed, as we all are, I think.”

happy trails, mike! thank you, for sharing your honestly human portrayal of connor murphy with us.

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Hi I just wanted to say that you seem so positive and I just really love that so thank you for spreading that around!

Oh my goodness wow thank you so much for the encouragement! Hope you have a sunshiny day💛

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Tonight my friend watched act 1 of DEH for the first time

This is how it went down: •when she hears Evans first monologue “Was this boy based on you?” •when she sees Connor “Oh cute boy! Hello cute boy!” “His name is Mike Faist he is an angel and a former Newsie (A few minutes later I see her phone light up and she is looking at pictures of Mike and she says) “Girl!! Why didn’t you show me this sooner?!!!!” •in the middle of If I Could Tell Her “If a boy sang this to me I would get down on MY OWN knee and ask him to marry me!!!” •SHE LOVED SINCERELY ME AND WAS LIKE “They all look so goofy!! But like cute goofy yah know!” • when Evan drops his notecards “BABY EV NO” •sobbing from both parties ensued in You Will Be Found😅

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I feel like this would be all of us if we dated Ben😂 just making him pose like the little cutie he is all over NYC

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I’m listening to Dear Evan Hansen while scrolling Tumblr. It’s called multitasking people😂

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REBLOG IF YOU WANT A LOVE LETTER FROM A FICTIONAL CHARACTER IN YOUR ASK BOX NOW

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when my WHOLE WORLD aligned for this picture

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Audio of Waving Through a Window, Kutztown University, 9/21/2017

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FRIENDS I WOULD LOVE THIS

TELL ME WHAT YOU ASSOCIATE WITH ME

COLORS, SONGS, AESTHETICS, PEOPLE, ANYTHTING

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Hi there! Could you do cuddling headcanons with Evan? :)

Um yes!! I would be happy to!!

Cuddling with little Evan would include:

•ok so it would all start on a Friday at school in your creative writing class•you and your best guy friends: Connor, Jared, and Evan were all in this class with you and it was a blast•your teacher knew that a lot of the kids in her class were shy •except for Jared😅•so she never passed up the chance to make you do partner or group assignments •she called out Evan’s name and then yours and and you might have done a tiny happy dance in your seat •even though y’all just started dating he had been the best boyfriend you could have hoped for and doing a project with him was just a gift•Evan looked behind his seat to you and smiled which made you proud cause he is just a shy little boiiii•also Jared and Connor got paired up and you knew that all they would be doing is playing Mario Cart and not writing a single word of their paper•but they would be happy so you couldn’t nag at them

•after classes finished you started telling Evan all your ideas for the paper and how it was going to be great•Evan, after a few seconds of stuttering, asked you if you wanted to go to his house after school and work of the paper•happily you grinned at him proud of your bf•”of course Ev! It’s a date!”•after you said this the poor boy was a blushing mess allllllll dayyyyy

•after school you waited for him in the student parking lot and you both went in your car and listened to the Spotify playlist you made together •which is a BOP by the way

•then once y’all got to his house his mom was just leaving for work and because Evan texted her that you were coming she already set out some blankets on the couch and made warm cookies •you loved his mom almost as much as you loved Ev •once she left you and Evan got straight to work at his kitchen table with a cookie in one hand and a pencil in another just trying to finish up your group assignment

•you both finished your half’s of the paper around the same time and read over each others and you finish!!•”Evan I think that is the best paper we have ever co written!!”•”definitely y/n I think so too.”•it would be your idea to take the rest of the cookies to his living room and plop down in between the mix of blankets •Evan just laughed and took a picture of you calling him to cuddle on the couch •that little boy was about to die •I mean a girl he thought was ADORABLE wanted HIM to cuddle with HER •just •wow•so he like hadddd to make it perfect

•so he pulled out the Disney movie Tangled•(btw this is my FAV movie)•he would put it in the DVD player and then he sat down on the other end of the couch•he knewww this would drive you crazy and you knew what he was up to so you just slid right over and sat your head on his shoulder and and pulled yourself in his warm arms•also y’all both smelled like chocolate chip cookies which made everything SOOOO MUCH BETTER•the movie started and you sang all the parts to the songs till the end of the movie was near and you almostdied cause•YOUR •BOY•EV•COULD •SINGGGGGG•and it was GREAT!!!•but you had to hold it all in cause you didn’t want him to get nervous and stop•no •that was not an option

•so you just smiled at him and started singing the girl part and then it was just perfection cause y’all were singing together and even though you were both exhausted for that week at school you had to stay awake and sing the end of the song with each other•(goals wtf)•and then before the movie ended you drifted off to sleep in Ev’s arms and he was just so content to be there with you •before he fell asleep he lifted the blanket up to cover you more and placed a small kiss on your head that you cuddled into

•you both were asleep quietly all snuggled up and when momma H came home she almost cried cause y’all were so cute•jk she did cry•and she also took like 5 million pictures too•it was just perfect