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Standing at the bar (kitchen counter) pouring absinthe (boiling water) over a sugar cube on a spoon over my shot glass (mug) before stirring it in (adding a teabag) while wearing a sparkly flapper dress (snuggly robe).

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“you’re a writer, can you explain your process?” yes. first, i panic. then i procrastinate. then, in a fit of productivity at 3 a.m., i create chaos.

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Join me and the girls in our commune on

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It's almost Halloween and time for my best pumpkin carving tips:

When cutting the top, make a circle with a notch in the back so it's easy to put back on

Gut the pumpkin the day before you plan to carve it. It always takes longer to gut than expected and your arm will have time to recover if you're working on multiple pumpkins (it also lets you harvest the seeds to roast and eat while you're carving, which is both delicious and funny to eat something's innards while you're dissecting it)

Always wash your hands well after gutting a pumpkin; raw pumpkin will make you sick

For a really amazing jack o lantern, don't just cut your design in holes. You can make a great one by using an x-acto knife to slice off the skin and leave the inner wall. The thinner you make it, the more light shines through so you can do a lot with thickness. This lets you make a multi-dimensional design using 3 types of cuts: full cut, skin cut, and leaving the skin on in between other cuts for 3 different colors. Even cutting the skin from a small part can be easy but give your pumpkin a dramatic look

Happy Halloween!🎃

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Does anyone else chew each bite on alternating sides of their mouth so it's "fair"? Or am I insane? (And no, I don't know who it's supposed to be fair for.)

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the footsteps I hear on the roof are surely squirrels, not gremlins. the footsteps I hear on the roof are surely squirrels, not gremlins. the footsteps I heard on the roof are surely squirrels, not gremlins. if I say it enough, it has to be true, right?

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I've been growing out my pixie cut for a long time and today I finally got it to that classic length. You know, the one where you get tired of the wind whipping your hair into your face so you roll up the car window only to pin your hair painfully between the window and the door.

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Nature prevails.

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reminder that coming up with some fake little dudes and creating intricate storylines in your head is a completely free and fun way to pass the time and the government can't stop you

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The reader reaction every writer hopes for.

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me: sometimes i just wish my characters were real, you know? i mean, i’ve spent so much time with them, they feel like friends. what does that say about me? therapist: *scribbling notes* interesting… me: wait, are we talking about this from a psychological perspective, or are you just saying that because you can’t see them too? therapist: …let’s circle back to that.

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