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I hired those crumbs to go in your bed

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If I was anyone else I would've really let being unlovable and talentless get to me but I'm basically unkillable so it's fine.. in so many respects I'm simply a cockroach

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New grade 1s. “Hey guys, how many hands do I have?” “Two!!” “And how many people in this class today?” “14!!” “Right, so I can’t check 14 people’s books at once, okay?!” “Well,” (helpfully) “you could try 1 in each hand, that would be faster…”

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I made it... I think I am actually getting kind of good at the 3 flight, 20+ hour travel day now... It's easier when you know both places and don't have to struggle with logistics in a foreign place while jetlagged tbh. I am just serenely surfing the waves of exhaustion 🏄

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Hey can anyone tell me what the FUCK this behavior means

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One thing about being back in the UK, after years of being reacted to by strangers with blankness and vague fear (or intense overcuriosity / questions about what I am and where I came from), one day in Edinburgh and immediately got hit on by a queer I met in the stairwell. Forgot some people think I'm hot in this world >.<

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Being in Taiwan and living next to the gym and having superfast wifi and cheap prepackaged healthy protein meals in familymart and no one bothering me ever = OPTIMAL

Leaving shitty Scottish wasteland and my dysfunctional family and my kitty and feeling like I'm being physically bludgeoned and the flight attendants all fussing over me on the plane cos I won't stop sobbing = SUBOPTIMAL

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sorry I can't respond to your text bc I need to die a thousand deaths for some reason

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Bruh UK hospitality .. my mum asked if a salad she ordered could be made vegan and the waitress just told her it is premade with mayo "but just scrape it off yourself" 😭 What!!! £10 for that salad by the way 😭😭😭

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clearly i'm some kind of horrible friendship pervert

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With my parents discussing my future #MyFuture and made a very fucked up and cursed decision that many of you are going to try to talk me out of. (Applying to study law while working full time)

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i'm sexually interested in whatever's wrong with you

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I've been horny. Obviously just in my abstract ways

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