deeppainsposts

[deeppainsposts]

[deeppainsposts]

The most difficult thing about the grief from losing a loved one is that we as humans are problem solvers and we use ‘mistakes’ as a learning opportunity. But there’s no way you can prevent someone from death ‘next time’ when they’re already gone, and those problem solving thoughts turn into a list of all the things you could have done and torment you.

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i love bothered and bewildered and bisexual people

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the United States is the worst disease this world has ever faced lol

[deeppainsposts]

Your life is just a countdown to death, each day is bringing you closer to the end of the countdown. Once it’s over it’s over, no rewinds, no turning back. You face the rewards or punishments head on. Focus on doing good in this life. — wordsbyhisheart

[deeppainsposts]

Sometimes it’s a kindness to let something go even when you love it very much.

Katya Balen, October, October

[deeppainsposts]

nosy anons let's go

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if…

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[deeppainsposts]

I’m at the point in my life where I need you to be straight up honest and back up every word you say with actions. If you miss me, tell me. If you wanna see me, show up or ask me to come over. If you’re upset with me or something in general, tell me. I’ve done the whole playing games, chasing hearts around that never belonged to me. I’m done doing it. If you want me, I’m here, where I’ve been. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

[deeppainsposts]

poem #1 - perfect façade

they say I'm smart,

know the answer to everything.

but when I sit there on the floor,

not knowing what to write,

I wonder why they don't see me

the way I truly am

is it something I've done wrong?

or does the world simply not understand me?

they say I'm strong,

can get through anything on my own.

but when I sit there on the floor,

breaking down and shedding tears,

I wonder why they don't see me

the way I truly am

is it something I've done wrong?

or does the world simply not understand me?

they created a perfect façade

to exist instead of me

and now I don't know

how to break free of it.

[deeppainsposts]

The intimacy of holding hands and slowly dancing too close to each other, with our love in between. Only you and me in the world. Top tier

[deeppainsposts]

some children are simply born with tragedy in their blood

[deeppainsposts]

falling in love prompts

➼ "Please don’t touch me. I can’t fall any deeper."

➼ "This is all your fault. If only you weren’t so fucking beautiful and smart and funny and perfect, I might not have fallen for you.

➼ "I might be going a little crazy thinking about B." *C raises an eyebrow*. "Fine. Maybe a lot more than a little"

➼ "Whether I’m in love with you or not, I know one thing for sure. You will be the reason I cease to exist."

➼ "I want you to be my first and my last."

➼ "Are you in love with them?" "If I’m not already, I’m damn close to being."

➼ "Is this love or torture?"

➼ "We’re friends, right?" "I didn’t know friends kissed each other."

➼ "But…how could you love me?" "How could I not?"

➼ "You love them, don’t you?" "How did you know? I told [friend] not to say anything." "They didn’t have to say anything."

➼ "I love you as much as I hate you." "Well then, I absolutely despise you."

➼ "I think I hate you a little for making me adore you so much."

➼ "Well you know what they say. Love is equal to madness." "…no one says that." "Your eyes do."

[deeppainsposts]

Suna hai tumhe kitaabein bahot pasand hai

dekho maine tumhare liye kitaabein padhna shuru kar diya hai

Suna hai tumhe phool bahot pasand hai

dekho maine phoolon ko samtena shuru kar diya hai

Suna hai tumhe chaand bahot pasand hai

dekho ab mujhe har raat besabri se chaand ka intezar rehta hai

Suna hai tumhe main bhi bahot pasand hai

dekho maine khud ko sawarna shuru kar diya hai

[deeppainsposts]

Remember Ustaad Ghulam Ali sahab's ..

Toh Kya Yeh Tay Hai Tujhe, Umr Bhar Nahi Milna

Chalo Zamane Ki Khaatir, Ye Zabr Bhi Seh Le

Kabhi Mile Bhi Agar, Toot Kar Nahi Milna

Ye Kon Chupke Se, Tanhaiyon Main Kehta Hai

Mere Baghair Sakoon, Umr Bhar Nahi Milna

Rah-E-Wafa K Musafir, Ko Kon Samjhaaye

Kay Is Safar Mein Koi Humsafar Nahi Milna

Juda To Jab Bhi Hue, Dil Ko Yun Laga Jaise

Ke Ab Gaye To Kabhi, Loat Kar Nahi Milna

Toh Kya Yeh Tay Hai Tujhe, Umr Bhar Nahi Milna

[deeppainsposts]

i was just a kid

unable to breathe

finding beauty and pain in everything

my friend is perfect, i wish i could be her

my parents are perfect, i wish i could be a better daughter

the sunrise is perfect, so why am i still depressed

looking at the sky wondering why?

why can’t i be more than what i am

unable to breathe

i was never a kid

[deeppainsposts]

I'm not well. I hate the way I look. I feel like I annoy people anytime I talk to them or are around them. I overexplain myself constantly because I feel like people won't believe me. I constantly feel like I have to validate myself. I feel like I'm constantly being rejected. I feel ashamed when I feel these feelings like I don't deserve to feel them. I feel like my mind is constantly running. I feel constantly overwhelmed, stressed & exhausted when I havent done anything which makes me feel lazy and ashamed. I have days where I cry so hard its gut wrenching & hurts to breath.

I feel this way because of my mom.

I feel this way because of my medical trauma.

I feel this way because of my personal trauma.

I try so hard. I read the books. I journal. I self care. I don't try to force it, I let myself cry when I feel like crying. Then I get better for awhile but it's always short lived. All this work is just more I have to do on top of constantly feeling overwhelmed & exhausted & on top of the exhausting homework. I can't take it anymore. Trying to make myself better is just to much work. Work that isn't working. I'm sick of trying to keep my face above the water with all these weights tied to my legs. My legs are tired.

Im ready to succumb.

[deeppainsposts]

girls are so pretty and smart and funny and perfect and i’m kinda obsessed with them tbh