dearmoodjournal

[dearmoodjournal]

I have a gripe with an acquaintance. I vague posted about how angry I was feeling and thats when he dms me if I'm good. And like I was just venting and I said he could also vent to me too but he doesn't. And he's deep into a depression I get it... but like ohmygod get a grip. Ur so lonely and down cause you don't have a gf. Do you not value friendships or colleagues enough? There's platonic love all around you but you want the love of a romantic one? I guess I could see that point. We were all like this when we were young. His predicament is definitely unique w a lot of things against him... im just an asshole

[dearmoodjournal]

Being emotionally attached to someone feels cool in theory LOL but I cannot do it. I rather cry and crumble in private for a week than to open up to someone about my pathetic feelings. It blows up on my face I feel.

And maybe cause I KNOW I'm feeling things too harshly and I know someone didn't mean to make me upset. Its a mix of hormones and depression. Frustrations.

I guess that is invalidating my feelings but what if I wholeheartedly believe I am being over dramatic for feeling a certain way? I've been living in my head for almost 30 years. I can tell when I'm being rational now and most of thoughts are erratic. I feel like I am crazy. What then? Am I doing the right thing not to open up and explain why I'm feeling so angry over a passive text?? Over someone confronting me in the most pathetic way I have an issue with? Ohmygod get a grip LOL

I'm fine rn btw I'm just pyschoanalying myself

[dearmoodjournal]

Peruvian whistling vessels simulating animal calls (some of the oldest found date to c. 500–300 BCE)

[dearmoodjournal]

Mount Rainier, Paradise Inn, Washington, USA by Protik Hossain

[dearmoodjournal]

just gonna say it: i think it’s messed up that people who choose to study the arts or history or philosophy get made fun of for picking “useless” degrees that won’t make them money, rather than, you know, the capitalist death cult society we’ve built for devaluing these things despite them being essential to the development and longevity of humanity. (they don’t call them “the humanities” for no reason.) but sure, get condescending towards your friend with an english degree again, i’m sure that will help.

[dearmoodjournal]

Englefield House, Berkshire, England by Nigel Burkitt

[dearmoodjournal]

Polly Joke, North Cornwall, England by Chris Marshall

[dearmoodjournal]

- j (x)

[dearmoodjournal]

Everyone is so harsh,, prickly.

I dont wanna be like them,

I wanna be whimsy.

[dearmoodjournal]

Been feeling like ppl don't like me or im not as special anymore to my online friends. Its dumb !!! Yeah I don't know them personally,, so why do I care what they think 🤯

I need a break from social apps :-(

[dearmoodjournal]

Bought James an $89 splatoon shirt from ebay. I Hope he likes it !!!! He better not be a cat about it and rarely use it 😆

[dearmoodjournal]

[dearmoodjournal]

i hate being sick ugh terrible -100/10

[dearmoodjournal]

Grilled chicken cobb caesar salad

[dearmoodjournal]

i noticed an increased happiness when i no longer wanted to read about morbid things constantly

[dearmoodjournal]

im going to allow myself to be.

I no longer want to survive but live.

I want to remember I can do a puzzle, pick cute outfits, and

smile any time i want.

why do i just loathe and slumber?

[dearmoodjournal]

this is she this is me. im a kissy fish