dearings

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just another week of Kendrick fighting himself on the chart

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Salutations. This is your Uncle Sam. And this is the Great American Game.

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riding the trolley out of omelas because i'm a little too shaken to walk rn and i just heard this weird thump from the tracks. probably nothing

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i’ve fucked guys i should’ve shot in the head

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maybe i’m a joyless bitch but i actually do NOT think it’s funny to see women being like “the house is just in my husbands name” or “my husband makes all the money” or “i don’t even know who our mortgage is with” or “the only bank account/credit card is his and i get an allowance” like i do NOT find that cute or romantic and i am begging these women to Stand Up. you should at least be named on the deed to your house and the title to your car and the bank accounts even if you don’t pay for them/earn all the money. you can’t stop existing in the eyes of the law and the credit unions simply because you have a husband. if you’re raising his children and washing his socks half of everything he’s got is yours and it needs to be yours LEGALLY BY NAME. "he takes such good care of me :)" girl you are a PRISONER!! that’s all

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I know TAZ has some completely epic lines that resonate with people like the “I saw seven birds” speech and “Our capacity for love increases” speech but what’s everyone’s favorite stupid line that for some reason lodged in your head beyond the others I’ll start 

Mine is when Taako and Barry are talking in the Beach Episode and Taako says “Barold… Barold…. I rolled an Eleven Barold, you have to tell me.”

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Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

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sometimes i feel like im climing up this incline again alone but thankully sisypus and the itsy bitsy spider and here with me

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I love using "by the way" as a segue into topics that are completely unrelated to the matters at hand. it isn't remotely by the way, quite a ways out of the way in fact. a little adventure

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My favorite emoji expression me and my friends came up with is "throwing rocks at it"

Basically if you ever see or hear something that displeases you, You go like this:

🫳🪨

🫳🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨🪨

☺️🫳🪨🪨🪨

So on and so forth. But also if something is beautiful or true you throw lotus.

🫳🪷🪷🪷

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"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

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sick post i just found online. sorry i couldnt find the source

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ok so being a parent IS really hard but not the way you think. well its probably hard the way you think but its ALSO really hard because my toddler pronounces peanut butter like "peepee yaya". and see, because he learns from me, i can't say "peepee yaya", no matter how much i want to, because i have to teach him that it is actually pronounced "peanut butter". and dont even get me started on how he pronounces "shaun the sheep" (shit the shit)

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the point of rpf isn’t to concoct scenarios that are thinly veiled attempts to fuck the celebrities you like yourself. the point of rpf is to learn as much lore as is possible about the celebrities you like by whatever means necessary and use that information to craft scenarios that are wildly implausible but Technically could have happened. and then to chuckle about it. by the way

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U can watch Star Wars so many times and it doesn’t prepare u for how dumb Star Wars is. For one thing I think we gloss over how kenobi (who has definitely been at the club. Please.) describes the mos eisley cantina as the worst most villainous place ever and then u get inside and it’s a pack of muppets vaping

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STONE AND SKY.