deardamcelle

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you tuck yourself in your blanket and pillows

and that’s all you have

silly little girl

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no one to keep you warm in the cold

no one to lend you an umbrella when it rains

there’s just

no one

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you and your lies

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This is not never have I ever -- a game of honest thoughts paved by booze and alcoholic encounters. You don’t have my consent for telling all those stories which is not yours to tell in the first place. 

And besides, where’s the validity in all those statements. Was it even something others should know? Who gave you the right to break an already aching heart? I hope. I just hope it would occur to you HOW MUCH pain it put in a heart that’s already bleeding. You did not know all the combined reasons for all the decisions I do in my life. To cope. To conquer. To go on. 

And you just go there. Putting all the words out there. As if it’s not breaking someone. As if by making the story whole, you’re not shattering a life. Think about all the tea you let others to sip. The tea that drains someone’s lifeline. It is not your fault for being insensitive. Kasi ano bang pake niyo sa iba diba? Syempre dito sa mundong ito, iisipin lang natin sarili natin. O bakit di na lang ganun? Bakit kailangang lahat ng galaw ko.... every fucking time... nalalaman ng lahat. 

“ oyy alam mo si *toot* ..... she does this... she does that. Why do u fuckin care? Andiyan ka ba nung time na naghihingalo na ako. May kamay ka bang iniaabot kapag di ko na kaya ang bigat ng mundo? Wala naman diba? So anong karapatan mong magbitaw ng mga salitang di mo naman alam ang tunay na ibig sabihin.

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Someday I shall die. Like the seemingly endless summer adventures being devoured by the voidness of winter. All colorful then suddenly, white. Pure white.  

And you shall bury my remains. 

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The things you make time for will find its way back to you! <3

What’s up Mi Loves! If you’re new here I am Nacy. A 5th year univ student. How u doin’? Study with me! 

 // 

 This channel is about my journey to becoming a CPA. Then soon a lawyer. (Or who knows where God will take us, right?) 

 SUBSCRIBE IF Ü WANT MORE PRODUCTIVITY VIDZZZ. THANK Ü SOOO SOO MUCH FOR WATCHING! 

 // 

 Always remember! The things you make time for will find its way back to you. Let’s choose how we spend our hours wisely. 

//

 Let’s get to know each other!! 

 I n s t a g r a m: www.instagram.com/nacynoir 

T w i t t e r: www.twitter.com/nacynoir 

C o l l a b s: nacellesaya@gmail.com 

 Faq: 

Age: 21 

Nationality: Filipina 

Editor: Kinemaster/Final Cut Pro

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JULY INSPIRATIONS

💙 GUEST SPEAKER #SjiWriteshop Whoah! So this one was unexpected. I was called the night before. Wasn't able to prepare and just brought with me my confidence, passion to impart, and yes, my very own papers containing facts about the diff genres (which I researched 5 years ago). I found out I can speak in front of people..hehe. Kids for short. Omg. 1 yr had passed and I was back at my alma mater and guess what? As someone who makes sense! I read their articles and I'm glad the seminar we did was effective. They absorbed my award-winning writing style with a twist of their own. Reaching out is my theme here. Don't just stand there and wait for things to happen. You make them feel comfy with you and make magic happen. PEN POWERS! 💙INTERNSHIP + MON ABREA I was just living my typical probinsyana life. Praying I would finally get out of this prison (at least how I perceive it to be). Then the magic happened right before I went to SJI writeshop where I will be a speaker. The firm called. Had some good laughs in there with the phone interviewer (later I would find out it was ate Princess hehe). Fast forward to the firm, the firm was small but their master has been awarded with a lot of prestigious awards. He is quite competitive in the game. And I love 💘 it. I learned a lot. Met people. Experienced the corporate culture. And all I have is hunger..a desire to be molded beautifully by UST. 💙 UNILEVER Top 10 #PurposeDrivenLeader So with my internship interview on the phone.. I was ready to sleep that night and call it a day..when Unilever posted their picks and I was one of them! Yayyy! Turned out..the 2nd part which is the online video contest which I thought was going to be connected with their environmental advocacy.. IS ABOUT OURSELVES..OUR STORY. It's my first time to be featured as the main character in a video..so..woooh Plus, it was exciting to go back to my roots and make people hear my story. And yes..I miss editing. 💙 RAPPLER #ThinkPH Once again I am trying to go back to my roots. I've been rooting for seminars eversince I got here in Mnl. I love Maria, Rappler and all the speakers in there!! 💙THOMASIAN FILM SOCIETY #TeamFinance Yeyy! July 30, 11pm when I saw the post I was tagged in asking for my sched. Alas! I got accepted as the Executive Associate for #TeamFinance!!! YEYYYY! 💕🙌✨ 💙LAKASDIWA #TeamCreatives Awww. Team Creatives. We had a leadership training. All things are falling into place I guess. So my hunger for arts is served to me although I am trying my best not to fall in love with my creativity that much... You can't say no with your passion right? Some things happen for 'no' reason and for 'yes' reason 😊 💙 LTS as NSTP Hahaa. May calling na ata ako as a mentor. I went there as my so ever lutang self. Enrolled myself in LTS. Dapat CWATS. HAHAHAHAHA. Waleyy akong kasama sa Frags (mahh group..dibit..criidiit..hehe). Calling na ito mga beks kaya pinanindigan ko na. 😂😂🍧💋✨👍

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Some of the people in my life just drifted away. Now as I go to the big city to realize my dreams, the small city I grew up with contains more and more ghosts. They seem to expand in time. Each horizon, now, is a reminder of what I was and what I wanted to be. The past and the future clashing inside my head. People. Places. Memories. Happy. Sad. Forgotten or maybe not. One word: tension. Oh how can I live presently if neither the past and the future welcomes me. Maybe the present was the past and will be the future. And realizing this scares me the most....

And yet, I still believe in the magic of my dreams.

Sailing the drenched road full of souls trying to find home // they come, they go.

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But Now Feels Good

Day after day, how quickly do i run into my uphill slope of realizations only to unexpectedly fall down to my deepest regrets. Frankly, something always feels new about it even though the wound is past the scarring and all that’s left is the memory “this is where it used to be” while i silently pray “dear God, please let this be the last time”. It’s as if i’m unraveling every time, boundless and most often, poetic but neither do i write it down nor speak for its sadness anymore. I have come to the point of horizon, at least how i perceive things at the moment, where the sky and the ocean meet to an understanding “here, we come and from here, we will drift to the future”. All the rustling I heard and thought I knew vanished in a blink of an eye and I was left at the corner of the room laughing at my foolishness. I didn’t understand a thing at all. I certainly did not.

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Stop chasing people. If they block you, cut off contact, ignore you… Let them go. Let those who naturally gravitate to you enjoy your energy. We spend so much time begging for those who wouldn’t blink twice at the thought of you. Cherish those who are there by choice, and not there because you chased them every time they decided to escape.

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JUNE INSPIRATIONS: GetSet Accounting Review

Miss Ira Samonte fueled us with passion and the burning fire in her heart to impart her knowledge in accounting.

We are very much thankful for all the warm smiles and sweet voice we encountered these past few days.

She’s our candle. She didn’t only illuminate our path but she also lit ours. Truly, it takes one candle to light a thousand more. Imagine teaching from 7am straight? That’s tiring. Yet, with the love of teaching and with her internal driving force, she was able to.

Thank you Ma'am for everything. We will definitely go back for Accounting 2. :)

Love your 12noon-2pm GetSet Babies…

Signing out // June 28, 2016

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Aug(ust) 2015

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Once I returned to my alma mater, SJI (na-loyalty award ako dito sana pati sa uste “going concern” as in forever na rin) and my mentor told me:

“I don’t see you posting on social media na nahihirapan ka. Puro happiness at pamamasyal nakikita ko sa posts mo,” he told me as if implying something about my college life.

Yes, that was my chill year. (aminado si ate haha)

Was.

And we all know that the start of the real battle is 2nd year. Accounting 1 & 2 plus qualifying exam which will determine kung evicted na ba sa bahay ni Alfredo Velayo.

Kaya ito,

This is my summer, I guess. Equipping myself with loads of JC taglish accounting textbooks. Aim high! Sa mga tamad dyan last yr (katulad ko), magsipag na ha? Charroo Santos.

Let’s do our best & God will do the rest! 😘💖💕

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Accountant's Wife

Question: If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she do?

Answer: Leans over to her husband and says "Tell me about work today, honey."

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1A9 MEMORIES :)

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Thank you for accepting me even though at first I was half-hearted, but believe me I couldn’t sacrifice more than what I gave up for you. Thank you for loving my flaws. I hope we will not part.. “not today” and not ever.

My dear, I couldn’t think of walking down the lonely road again. I have nothing to fall into then I found you. I just realized now how much I wanted you before..how much I prayed for you in the altar. Now that I am yours, I kept on holding back myself. I just couldn’t trust myself. I’m sorry for being a coward and thinking of the possibility of failing this.

Now that I realized that I really did liked you, I’m loving you more and more. Because I liked so many other things too but you are so unique for you accepted my flaws and that made all the difference.

I am thinking today of all the passionate things I loved, and I am more excited than the others for myself because now I have found something challenging, interesting and mysterious.

I couldn’t wait being officially with you after 5 years and having you with my name. I just couldn’t wait.

Thank you BS Accountancy