dear-regular-and-random-customer

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Stoner Saturdays 🌬🌬🍃

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

I just had a 20 minute conversation explaining to a customer what chicken wings were.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Customer Service Wolf.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

dear hair chested shirtless customer, just because you are with your gods know what woman, doesn't mean I magically know you each want your own cigarettes packs. and where the hell do you think I'm going? you have to purchase them that's why we have registers dumbass. please don't come back sincerely an already sufficiently creeped out casheir PS. I hope your free newspaper was fucking worth it because our newspaper dude is a fucking sweetheart

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear customers: I really appreciate it when you decide against buying a cold item, you think ahead and place it in an area that is cold, in order to keep it cold. However, orange juice does not belong in the fucking freezer section. Neither does sour cream, cottage cheese, any kind of cheese, yogurt, milk, or Pillsbury biscuit tubes. Or tea. Or produce. Or deli meats. Or, for the love of God, eggs. Thank you and have a nice day.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Male customer: What do you owe me? Me: I don’t owe you anything. MC: (Looks offended) So you’re saying I owe you something? Me: Yeah, $3.62 to be exact. Pay me and leave.

Other male customer: (Goes to my register while I’m putting away something.) Me: I’ll be there in just a second. OMC: Your second is up! Me: … OMC: (Looks offended) You didn’t like my joke? Me: Nope. I don’t appreciate it because I have other responsibilities besides standing at my register waiting for you to finally pick out which candy bar you want.

Dear Male Customers of the World, Cashiers do not owe you anything. In fact, 99% of the time we only smile and greet you because Big Brother Corporate is watching the cameras. Keep your mouth shut, put your items on the counter, pay for your shit, and then leave. I, and most other retail workers, have no patience for your bullshit.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear Customers

Dear Customers

Dear customer, I’m sorry, I know it isn’t fair, but the suppliers didn’t send enough, the product simply isn’t there. That other machine is broken. No there’s nothing I can do. It isn’t good enough, I know, others have said so too.

Dear Sir, of course I understand you do not want to be late, for your very pressing engagement, but you’re going to have to wait. I know I look like a superhero, with my unbelievably flattering uniform, but speeding food production is a feat I cannot perform.

Oh ma’am I’m so sorry that you’re missing a pack of fries, perhaps if you forgo them, you’ll be able to zip up your flies? I’m sure madame, in your career, never an error have you made, but I am still in training and cannot claim that accolade.

A speck of ketchup on your table? I apologise, I confess, I have slightly neglected my duties regarding your cleanliness. I was being very rude, taking orders from those in the queue — clearly I should have been waiting hand and foot on you.

The bin is conveniently located by the door, in a prominent position that you cannot ignore. But if you can’t be bothered to chuck your debris when you leave, I’m happy to bin for you later, along my joie de vivre.

What’s that, you say? The food was cold when you got home last time you came? We should have packed it better, it really is a shame. The paper bags should have been okay, to keep your food warm till you reached your home just 20 minutes away.

Hey there kids, I really hope you’ve had a good day at school. Oh, you want to paint the table with sauce and salt? Yeah, sure, that’s cool! It isn’t as though I already have too much to clean — I’m not popular and busy like you — how important one is at fourteen.

If you want to speak to the manager, he’s just over there, tell him all your problems, but of most of them I assure you, he’s already aware. We all do try our best to make your experience great, but unfortunately there’s only so many complaints we can take.

I know you deserve what you paid for, and that is fair enough, but perhaps to us poor staff you could be a bit less rough?

-via musingsofzoe

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear Customers, Please realize that when you leave the pajamas you were going to buy your toddler on the FLOOR of the cosmetics aisle, hide a box of condoms behind the children’s themed Christmas wrapping paper, or decide you dont want an item and so leave it on the other side of the very big retail store, someone, like me, has to take the time to bring those items to their rightful place. Please dont be lazy. Put it back at least in the vicinity of where you found it. thank you.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear customers,

If you are friendly to me while I’m serving you deserve at least 60 puppies

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear Customers:

What exactly is the purpose of swiping your card when I haven’t even physically placed myself behind the register yet and clearly haven’t started any sort of transaction?

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear disgruntled customer, I get it, chances are your bad mood is due to something you're dealing with in your own life. But guess what? I don't give a flying fuck. Whatever is going on in your life is NO EXCUSE for treating minimum wage workers like your personal punching bags. In fact, I consider you a gigantic scumfuck for taking your frustrations out on people who have no choice but to stand there and endure it, lest they risk their very livelihood. In short, your problem is not my problem.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear customers: never use a 50 for a purchase under $30 and never use a 100 on a purchase under $50. 99% of smaller stores in Australia have floats of $300 and your big note on a tiny purchase first thing in the morning fucks us over.

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear customers who understand the people ahead of you ordered half the restaurant and tell me, “Don’t worry about it! It’s not your fault.” when I apologize for the wait, I LOVE YOU! 

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear Customers...

It’s December and we have officially entered holiday shopping season. For people working in retail and food service, it is the season from Hell so please keep some things in mind while you’re doing your shopping. Here are 31 tips for the 31 days of December.

1. If an employee says hello to you as you enter, acknowledge their existence. That being said, do not cut me off mid greeting.

2. The people working in the store are not in charge of prices, deciding what items to stock, deciding how many of each item to stock, or whether or not a coupon will apply.

3. If an employee tells you that a coupon/sale/or other discount does not work/apply they are not doing it because they hate you or are trying to cheat you, it just doesn’t work. If you complain about it because you didn’t read the terms, then yes, we will hate you.

4. If you put your money on the counter instead of in the cashier’s out stretched hand, you are the worst kind of person.

5. “It didn’t scan, it must be free” “There’s no price tag on this so it must be free, right?” You are not funny. You are a pain in the ass. I would really like to stab you in the throat.

6. If you are looking for an item but do not know the name of the item, who makes the item, anything of merit about the item, do not ask someone to help you find the item.

7. Nine times out of ten, there is no magical back room where a double of every item in the store is kept. There ARE magical computers that tell us how many items are in stock. If you are told the item is out of stock, it is out of stock. Do not ask someone to check the back.

8. If the store closes in 15 minutes, don’t go inside. “I’ll be quick!” No you won’t.

9. If you are upset about something, don’t start screaming or yelling about it. It is most likely not the employee’s fault.

10. No one, literally no one, wants to hear your life story as they are ringing you up at the cash register.

11. If you have to tell someone your order, make sure you know your entire order before you approach them.

12. If you approach a register or employee whilst you are on your phone, just go. Get out of the store. I will destroy your phone myself as I will not compete for your attention whilst trying to help you.

13. If an employee is being super nice to you, no, they are not flirting.

14. Religious pamphlets are not tips. Religious pamphlets are not tips.

15. If you can not afford to tip, go get fast food.

16. Do not wait until your order has been bagged up to tell me you brought canvas bags of your own.

17. If you stop someone wearing a name tag/uniform and they say they are on a break, do not try and wheedle them into helping you anyways.

18. Do not wait until I tell you your total before you search through the jungle of bags and coat pockets to find your wallet.

19. Saying “I’m never shopping here again” is not a threat, it is a promise we hope you keep.

20. If I ask “is there anything else in this order?” and you tell me “no” and I give you your total and then you tell me your friend has to order and then I give you the new total and you ask me if I can split the check, I will split your skull instead.

21. If someone made a mistake and you want us to fix it or you want to be compensated, don’t beat around the bush about it, just say so.

22. If you are asked to buy a club card or get a free club card, don’t get upset; I will literally get in trouble if I don’t ask you.

23. If you bring food into the store, take it with you when you leave.

24. Do not let your offspring/child charges loose in the store.

25. If you do not have a receipt don’t try to return something.

26. If you do not have a receipt and the store allows returns for store credit, do not try to return your stuff during the holiday season. Wait until February. It’s not like you’re going to run out of time with no receipt.

27. No, we can’t make an exception for you.

28. If there is no public restroom, there is no public restroom.

29. If the sign says we open at eleven but we are inside and the door is unlocked, we still open at eleven.

30. It’s the holidays. There are sales and great deals. You want to buy gifts for people. So does everyone else. There will be lines. Try to remember that when you make it out of the line you get to go home. I still had to help everyone in front of you and will have to help everyone behind you.

31. We are human. We make mistakes, though we try really hard not to. We deal with hundreds of customers every day. We want to have a happy holiday too but can only take so much.

So remember to treat those in retail and food service with respect and dignity and don’t put your damn money on the fucking counter. My hand is literally right there!

[dear-regular-and-random-customer]

Dear customers,

please stop letting your babies chew on items that you are not planning on buying. it is nasty. please either:

don’t let your baby hold onto things that you’re not certain you are purchasting, or

freaking buy it once your child has slobbered all over it