deadboysuff

[deadboysuff]

I’m gonna spend so much time trying to get help and try to figure out what wrong for what there’s no reason for anything

[deadboysuff]

An Increasingly Frustrated Pokemon Trainer who wants a Sylveon but he isn’t emotionally equipped enough to understand the nuanced difference between friendship and affection so he just has like 13 Espeons and Umbreons

[deadboysuff]

I need them to fuck me so hard that I forget that we broke up

[deadboysuff]

It’s been 25 days since I saw them last and 2 days since talking to them and I feel so dead I just want to love them but it’s like I’m not allowed to I just want to go on the next train to them so I can see them again

[deadboysuff]

May just have lost the love of my life not officially broken up but very little hope so I’m hoping

[deadboysuff]

okie okie lets pause on the other interesting doodles 🫣...here are the puppies!!! :D

[deadboysuff]

Heyyyy made a art/comision twitter @emoApocalyps right now there is not anything posted but I will do In the following days :3

[deadboysuff]

MY BOYFRIEND SAID HE WOULD LIKE FOR US TO LIVE TOGETHER I THINK IM DIEING OF OVERJOY

But I had to say not now because of school:(

[deadboysuff]

I got my hopes up again should have known better

[deadboysuff]

You know why is the worst about an eating disorder it’s not the fact that you can’t eat or that you hate your own body it’s the fact that you chair falls out ALL THE TIME

[deadboysuff]

I just finished watching jujutsu kaisen (the anime) and I have something to admit I don’t see why people thirst over gojo

[deadboysuff]

I have to return to school in 3 days and I still haven’t haven’t gotten a new job I have been looking everywhere I’m so done

[deadboysuff]

//rant about me trying to get a diagnosis

So that long ago I had a doctors appointment to talk about my mental health and how it’s a mess because I keep having this massive mood swings and they have been there for years and I always thought that they would at some point go away she told that she will refer me to a psychiatrist that could diagnose me and find out what’s wrong with me she told that she is not legally allowed to diagnose me but that from her judgement its almost a guarantee that I have bipolar and when I went to talk with to the first meting to see if I was “qualified” to talk to a psychiatrist and get a diagnosis the woman talked to ignored that my doctor had clearly stated in my papers that its pointing to bipolar and that the mood swings is my biggest problem along with my dysphoria and said that it was not likely I am on the autistic spectrum with I am also aware that I very likely am but it bothers me so much that she refused to listen to what I had to say and that she just prushed it off like it was nothing I told here how the deprive episodes can last for months and that I get extremely unstable mentally when it is but she was way more focused on the fact that I have an eating disorder and that I may be autistic and I hate to self diagnose but the more I have read up on bipolar disorder and the more it makes sense why I feel like I do I just want to know how I can get better I just want to feel normal I don’t what to feel like this because I never know if it will be 2 days or 4 months or if I will kill myslef this time 

[deadboysuff]

I’m so close to relapse if that it’s not even funny it’s all I think about

[deadboysuff]

I how the fuck am I supposed to tell him everything and how sorry I am

[deadboysuff]

[deadboysuff]

rant

i feel so shit like i dont want to go home. I have been telling not exatly the trythe but its not beacuse i want to lie about it its beacuse i dont want to take so much when i am not even ment to be there in the first place. Like i dont want to take take and take i feel horabile about it i dont like it. and no one want to listen to me. I do what i can to pleas everyone but i just fail every time i just whis that for one fucing time i could do somthing right