dccomicsbookshelf

[dccomicsbookshelf]

Google docs isn’t deleting your docs just because they have lewd text.

OP turned off reblogs of the post due to being debunked, but here’s a link of the reblog so you can still read stuff. Hate Google all you want but misinformation helps no one.

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Lois: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Clark: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Lois, working on an article: Absolutely not.

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Bruce Wayne wakes up in the past, five months after Jason Todd died, and spends most days sat beside the grave because he never found out exactly when Jason had come back and he wanted to be there to save him when he did.

From an outside perspective, everyone is extremely concerned.

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bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

-

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

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I made a post a few days ago about Clark Kent inexplicably being friends with the Waynes (because he knows Batman as Superman, but the people who just know mild mannered reporter Clark Kent don't know that). And the thought of Lois Lane, pre-knowing that Clark is Superman, just being extremely baffled by her writing partner from the middle of nowhere Kansas being friends with the Wayne family continues to amuse me. So the alternative situation from the one I posted the other that's been bouncing around in my head is

Lois, charging into Clark's apartment after being let in: Sorry, Clark, I know it's your day off, but I need help--

Lois: ...

Lois: ...

Lois: Hey, Clark? Why is Bruce Wayne's son doing a puzzle on your coffee table?

Clark: Bruce is in town for business and Dick didn't want to sit in an office all day.

Lois: Uh huh. Yeah. Okay, let me rephrase. Clark, why is the son of one of the most rich and influential men in the country sitting in your apartment?

Young Dick Grayson, having not looked up from his puzzle: Uncle Clark, do you not tell your friends anything about your life?

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Do you think "Riddle me this, Batman?" has become a common lexicon among Gothamnites for when they don't understand something?

I like to think it has. I like to think they've heard The Riddler say it one too many times, and now it's just ingrained into their collective psyches in much the same way as "No shit, Sherlock" is.

I also like to imagine Bruce Wayne making a rare appearance at a corporate meeting, and the latest Gen Z hire, a generation that infamously doesn't fuck with formal office corporate speak, just leans over the table and says, "Okay, I hear what you're saying, but riddle me this, Batman," and Bruce tries not to choke on his coffee.

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I think mostly what young fandom types (and I guess younger people in general) who are very very invested in the idea that “20 is still basically a minor” need to understand is that the feeling of “I’m just a child pretending to be an adult, and everyone else around me is a REAL adult” is DEEPLY universal (and won’t stop, ever, by the way, sorry!) and also is not, like, praxis.

Believe me, I get it, but the self-infantilization needs to stop, especially when you’re trying to engage in conversations about actual children and the harms they can face. Yes, it is scary to wake up and realize you’re 22 and you still feel like you’re 15, but it happens to all of us. You’re an adult. You have to deal with it.

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We really need to return to Dick and Tim's best dynamic where Dick does insane stuff while Tim is horrified. Yes, Dick did just jump off that building to see if you could survive the fall. Yes, Dick is freaking surfing on trains. Yes, Dick did just use his acrobatic skills while playing tag in the middle of Bruce's building. In The Flash Plus Nightwing issue, Wally says that eating the "blood" to see if it was blood or just clay was a bat thing, it's not. Thats a Dick thing, he's the only one insane enough to do that

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An excuse to draw Little D in a Nightwing hoodie.

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There is literally no circumstance where I support age verification to access a website. As I've said before I'm very much the "there's nuance here" person on almost everything but on this issue there's no nuance for me, it's awful and horrible in and of itself and it also sets an awful and horrible precedent

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13 year old Clark Kent learning about brood parasitism in middle school biology class and barely touching his dinner that night.

When both Ma and Pa are asleep he climbs out onto the roof, shuddering in the dark, because the teacher said some species' biological parents will secretly come by night to teach their young how to be a proper cuckoo or cowbird even as they're still steadily starving their foster nest. Maybe he can just convince whoever left him here to just take him away again--find a different nest. He doesn't want to hurt anyone here.

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Who wants to be emotionally devastated today?

Every single member of the Fab Five has either watched their child die held their dead child in their arms. Or both. Both is…good???

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tbh my take on the whole “should batman kill the joker” thing is that batman is a volunteer gig, and bruce is allowed to have boundaries

should *someone* kill the joker? maybe, idk. that’s above my pay grade. but just bc bruce wayne is willing to shoulder the weight of the world (whether anyone actually wants him to or not) doesn’t mean we should all just accept that it belongs to him. he chooses to help in what ways he is able, the ways he can live with, and if killing is the one line he won’t cross no matter what, well, it could be worse. but he has no actual moral obligation to do any of what he’s doing, actually, and if having this one boundary firmly in place is what keeps him from having a mental breakdown and becoming the thing he swore to stop, then i say more power to him and we could honestly all stand to learn from his example

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It’s vitally important to me that each generation of young heroes has one (1) of the OG Justice Leaguers that they just. Have serious beef with.

Usually whichever one wronged a member of their team. Usually the relationships with the wronged party can have been mended to varying degrees and there can even be genuine healing and mutually healthy supportive relationships there.

It does not matter. Titans remember.

Just because Kon and Superman have a good relationship now does not mean any of the rest of the Core Four will ever respect him again. Clark accepts this and understands it because he has watched four of the Fab Five radiate quiet loathing at Batman for about a decade now.

He expects it. He understands it. And he’s glad that Kon has such good friends. (It does still hurt his feelings a little bit.)

Honestly the Fab Five just have Beef TM. Garth may have forgiven Aquaman but the rest of them never will. Oliver is on thin ice but has redeemed himself mostly by being an amazing granddad and actually admitting he fucked up.

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Damian, with red puffy eyes: You too?

Tim, with red puffy eyes: *raises a brow* Yes?

Damian has severe pollen allergies. Tim was high.

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Absolute Flash

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I’m not going to put this on the post itself, but I stared at this for like ten minutes wondering why it made my brain fritz before realizing it’s because it seems appropriate on the surface, but it’s kind of…the other way around?

Which is freaking weird given the general impressions these characters leave. If you were asked to sort them as the Emotion Boy and the Manly Man, the instinctive choice seems obvious. But their respective responses to negative emotions are, uh.

Jason comes back home screaming about how he was wronged while heavily armed.

Dick literally moves to another city/job/identity instead of talking to people. Other people are for talking about THEIR emotions! Because you’re a supportive leader/mentor/big brother figure! This is fine! *room catches on fire* This is fine!!!!

Jason: *fires a semiautomatic into the air* NOW THAT YOU HAVE LISTENED TO MY TWELVE POINT ESSAY ABOUT WHY I HAVE A GRUDGE AGAINST YOU, Jason: I will assign you three very specific tasks to get back in my good graces. Jason: They’re impossible. I hope you like ‘Scarborough Fair’.

Dick: *stops acting fine exactly long enough to start a fight with a scapegoat over something more justifiable than why he’s really upset, punches them until the fight artfully destroys his shirt, then goes back to repressing and working out the rage shakes on bank robbers*

(Sometimes he can cajole himself into asking for advice from dubious sources ((Bruce when he’s being written as emotionally inept; Deathstroke???; civilians with no information about his situation)), which is at least adjacent to talking about your feelings.)

In conclusion: Alfred: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Master Dick? Dick: No. But how are you doing, Alfred? You’ve looked tired recently. Jason: I do. Alfred: We know, Master Jason. Jason: I’m mad. Alfred, looking very tired indeed: We know, Master Jason.