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This has been a very difficult week for me to focus on my project. The exhibition that I reported about the previous week (The Malta Art Fair at MFCC) seems to have convinced me enough that Maltese contemporary artists are influenced by Malta’s images; in turn, this has made me somewhat complacent to allocate time to retrieve more information.

To add insult to injury, as the end of this semester comes closer, the assignments that still need to be completed have been on my mind. While my ideas are clear, nothing comes perfectly on the ‘first try’ and I have had some difficulty to allocate enough time to the metal workshop to complete the ‘bee’ project; and this has been on my mind throughout this week. Things are moving forward well now and I believe that I will be able to complete my project on time.

This semester has been an interesting one since we were left to our own devices when it came to choosing a topic we wanted to tackle and explore. Through this experimentation, I have come to realise that I opted to work in 3D instead of the more common 2D work. I also grabbed the opportunity of working in different workshops and have learnt different techniques of working with different materials.  Materials always fascinate me, the things you can create with them whether new or used (recycled).  

I am looking forward to the end of this scholastic year (as I guess like most students and teachers) which has been challenging but also most satisfying. The various projects have been very interesting and to my liking. I have also realised during this year that I seem to like better the 3-dimesional projects which I hope to continue to explore in the future.

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The highlight during this week was the Malta Art Fair (in aid of ALS Malta) that is being held over the weekend at MFCC in Ta’ Qali. The interest for me was the opportunity to view at one go many Maltese artists and to observe whether Malta’s images are influencing them and if so, how is this influence being interpreted.

Two interesting and non-traditional approaches were those of Marikami Lace and Craig Macdonald of Te Fit Tazza. Marica is using lace as the primary medium but she is giving it a modern twist. As opposed to creating the traditional doilies, she uses the same method to create lace forms that represent for example a dress or hair. Using these creations, she then creates complete images using these lace creations. Thus, in the case of the dress, she completed the artwork by drawing the image of a woman and in the case of the hair, she completed this by drawing the face of a woman. While the overall artworks were not particularly to my liking, I still appreciated that she took a Maltese craft and gave it a contemporary twist. Forever is gone now the image that lace has to be made by old women making doilies.

Craig’s creations were poster like graphic design images of iconic Maltese images. Salt pans, Filfla, the Luzzu and it-Torri L-Ahmar in Mellieha were represented in images that were simple, crisp and excellently blended bright colours. Furthermore, specific images were also graphically represented in stand-alone i.e. not as part of a composition. These images included the Maltese bus in orange livery, the old bus tickets in Maltese cents, the telecard, the old kinnie bottle, id-Denfil schoolbook, the Benna milk carton and many more. Te Fit Tazza’s creations speak out to those Maltese who prefer a minimalist approach to art. These images create a nostalgia for whatever is Maltese.

Joseph Casapinta’s watercolours were predominantly townscapes of Malta. A look at his website clearly shows that this artist is very influenced by Malta’s images of landscapes and seascapes too.

Apart from the Maltese artists, there were various foreign artists who had artworks of Maltese townscapes but these artists are not part of my analysis.

I am very grateful to have visited this fair as it continued to reinforce that Malta’s images are influencing our contemporary artists.

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This week was an interesting and very fruitful week where many of the projects I have been working on are slowly but surely taking form. It is always a relief when one’s projects start to materialise in a manner that satisfies oneself.

My ongoing review of finding out whether Maltese images influence the artworks of contemporary Maltese artists is leading me towards a consideration that yes, many artists are influenced by Malta’s images.

It is now commonplace to note that as one views the websites of these artists, the use of landscapes, townscapes and seascapes related to our country is not so difficult to find. The question that I have been pondering throughout this week is why or what attracts Maltese artists to use Malta’s images? I have been toying around with this question and trying to collect my thoughts and then I hit around an interesting thought which might help me with my analysis.

I have recently returned from a week holiday in Ireland and I have tried to understand what are the sights that I enjoyed most and why is it that I have retained them in my mind so well. Ireland is a country of greenery, a country of meadows, trees and water and clearly all these elements were interesting to me. It seems that the grass has a more radiant green colour than that which I am used to. At the Cliffs of Mohair, the swell of the Atlantic Sea, the height of the cliffs and the fact that sea birds use these cliffs as their nesting grounds were fascinating to me. The winding streets of Dublin and the large number of people walking along the streets were again something new. But what if all of this is ingrained within me because I have been born and raised in Ireland? and what if I have a creative mind and an artistic ability? Would it not be natural for me to gravitate towards subjects that are familiar to me? Would it not be natural for me to realise at some point that within me there are all the ingredients for me to develop my art and my identity through the images and experiences that would have amassed within me over many years?

I will continue to refresh these ideas and thoughts to try and find more meaning and understanding of this interest in what makes many of us (as artists) so influenced by our surrounding; so far, I am feeling quite motivated about my chosen topic as I seem to be understanding what lies within the context of images and their use in art.

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This week, I have found it very difficult to identify important information regarding my chosen topic. After last week’s ‘high’ following the influence of Maltese symbols in Charles & Ron’s couture creations, I have not been able to identify other artists who make use of Maltese symbols in their artistic creations.

I have thus decided to check out websites of local galleries where contemporary art is available. One of these galleries is Christine X.  Through browsing of the exhibited arts which are for sale, I decided to understand if the arts on sale (of artists with a Maltese surname) have some examples of Maltese symbols integrated in them. (Christine-X, 2017)

The first artist that I ‘reviewed’ was Selina Scerri who studied in London and who travels to “Madrid and Rome for inspiration”. No Maltese symbolism was observed although I found it interesting that Selina’s works are presented in various media; acrylics on linen, lino prints, painting on a vintage cinema lobby card or mixed media on canvas or on linen.

 Image 1 - (Holy Outrageous, Original painting on a rare, original erotica vintage cinema lobby cards, (23.5cm by 19.5cm unmounted) 36cm by 31.5cm framed by SELINA SCERRI, 2017)

 Artist Rupert Cefai who is an interior designer by profession presents a collection of scenes that are “moments in time from everyday life in London, Valletta, Essen and elsewhere”. Other than scenes that for a Maltese may easily relate to Valletta, I did not observe any reference to Maltese symbols.

Image 2 - (Strada Stretta I 15/25, Limited edition print , (28cm by 38cm unmounted) (52cm by 62cm mounted) 55cm by 65cm FRAMED by Rupert Cefai, 2015)

 The 28 year old Mark Mallia, comes close to using a Maltese symbol in a collection of paintings titled Villagetop which reminded me of the image of the village festa even though the only symbol that seemed like a firework burst was a palm tree !!

Image 3 - (Villagetop 2017 2, Mixed medium on canvas, 120cm by 80cm STRETCHED by MARK MALLIA, 2017)

 Christopher Saliba was educated in Malta and Italy presents some artworks which to me were a reflection of Maltese fortifications (bastions). His ‘View of Valletta from Yacht Marina 2017’ and ‘Senglea 2016’ are clearly an influence of something ‘very Maltese’ which the artist has been able to capture effectively.

Image 4 - Senglea 2016 - (Saliba, C., 2016)

Image 5 - View of Valletta from Yacht Marina 2017   (View of Valletta from Yacht Marina 2017, Oils on canvas, 90cm by 60cm STRETCHED by Christopher Saliba, 2017)

 I was aware that Debbie Caruana Dingli had moved to a very particular ‘cartoonish’ style of art

Image 6 - Dysfunctional family - (Dysfunctional Family (2016), Watercolour on paper, (39.5 x 38.5cm unmounted) (53.5cm by 52cm mounted) 57cm by 55.5cm FRAMED by Debbie Caruana Dingli, 2017)

and I was thus quite taken by surprise to find an oil on canvas village festa scene in the gallery.

Image 7 - Village Feast 2017 - (Village Feast 2017, Oils on canvas, (50cm by 60cm sttretched/ unframed) 54cm by 64cm FRAMED by Debbie Caruana Dingli, 2017)

 Jimmy Grima’s ‘Grand Harbour’ artworks left me rather confused since I challenged myself to understand if his reference to ‘Grand Harbour’ referred to the Valletta harbour or if it was simply a title that was not influenced by our Grand Harbour. I have reproduced his artworks below and there seems no semblance to a symbolic nature that is normally depicted for Valletta (especially in the Airship Terminal artwork).

Image 8 - The Last Spirit of the Grand Harbour - (The Last Spirit of the Grand Harbour, Mixed medium on wooden board, 122cm by 127cm unframed by Jimmy Grima, 2017)

 Image 9 - Airship Terminal at the Grand Harbour - (Airship Terminal at the Grand Harbour, Mixed medium on wooden board, 102cm by 62cm unframed by Jimmy Grima, 2017)

 Kenneth Zammit Tabona and Sarah Calleja’s artworks exhibited at Christine X Gallery show no influence of Maltese symbolisms but reflected some element of Maltese landscapes.

 Through this sample, I get the feeling that contemporary artists are not influenced by Maltese symbols in their artworks except in ‘plein-air’ where the Maltese landscape naturally prevails.

   References:

Christinexart.com., 2017. Christine-X. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 1 - Scerri, S., 2017. Holy Outrageous , Original painting on a rare, original erotica vintage cinema lobby cards, (23.5cm by 19.5cm unmounted) 36cm by 31.5cm framed by SELINA SCERRI. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/holy-outrageous> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 2 - Cefai, R., 2015. Strada Stretta I 15/25, Limited edition print , (28cm by 38cm unmounted) (52cm by 62cm mounted) 55cm by 65cm FRAMED by Rupert Cefai. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/strada-stretta-i-1525> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 3 - Mallia, M., 2017. Villagetop 2017 2, Mixed medium on canvas , 120cm by 80cm STRETCHED by MARK MALLIA. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/villagetop-2017-2> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 5 - Saliba, C., 2017. View of Valletta from Yacht Marina 2017, Oils on canvas, 90cm by 60cm STRETCHED by Christopher Saliba. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/view-valletta-yacht-marina-2017> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 6 - Caruana Dingli, D., 2016. Dysfunctional Family (2016), Watercolour on paper, (39.5 x 38.5cm unmounted) (53.5cm by 52cm mounted) 57cm by 55.5cm FRAMED by Debbie Caruana Dingli. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/dysfunctional-family-2016-0> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 7 - Caruana Dingli, D., 2017. Village Feast 2017, Oils on canvas, (50cm by 60cm stretched/ unframed) 54cm by 64cm FRAMED by Debbie Caruana Dingli. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/village-feast-2017> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 8 - Grima, J., 2017. The Last Spirit of the Grand Harbour , Mixed medium on wooden board, 122cm by 127cm unframed by Jimmy Grima. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/last-spirit-grand-harbour> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

Image 9 - Grima, J., 2017. Airship Terminal at the Grand Harbour , Mixed medium on wooden board, 102cm by 62cm unframed by Jimmy Grima. [online] Christinexart.com. Available at: <http://www.christinexart.com/artwork/airship-terminal-grand-harbour> [Accessed 7 May 2017].

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During this week, I have focused my effort and energy to find examples where Maltese artists promote Maltese identity symbols as ‘proof’ that they are influenced by them.

I have reviewed Joseph P Smith’s book Survivors; The ageing population of Birgu and within it I can find some interesting examples. Joe (as he is more commonly known) is an award-winning photographer and this book was conceived by chance after he was wandering through the streets of Birgu and he saw this old lady Ines Portelli whom he requested to take her photo. The lady opened to him and not only allowed him to take her photo but also shared with him her life experience. This chance encounter resulted in Joe meeting various ageing citizens of Birgu to take their photos and have them recounted their most important life experiences. The book itself is an artistic exposure of all that is Malta in the eyes of a dying generation. Among the ‘identity symbols’ that are observed within the book are:

·         The old Maltese buses (pages 16/17) in the interview of Anthony Agius who was himself a bus driver and who also created model buses himself,

·         The interview with Peppi Gellel (pages 126/127), a tailor who is a master banner maker referred to as bandalori or pavaljuni and Emmanuel Zahra “The Bell Ringer” (pages 188/189) which are a reflection of the colour and pomp during Birgu’s feast of St.Lawrence and are sometimes depicted in village festa scenes in Maltese paintings.

·         The Maltese dghajsa is depicted in the interview with John Pisani (pages 154/155). One can say that this carpentry craftsman was influenced by this boat and he has recreated models of these boat types.

·         Chevalier Dr. Joseph Saliba (pages 168 to 171) is a self-taught artist (“painter, sculptor, guilder and restorer” whose works may be seen in “churches, band clubs and private residences”. These artworks are mainly reflections of Malta mainly through a religious aspect.

 Apart from Joe Smith, I have also come across Charles and Ron’s New York fashion show dresses where a clear and unmistakable example of such an influence is present. Going through some of their collections on their website http://www.charlesandron.com it is very easy to identify the symbolism of what is Maltese in their patterns. Examples are reproduced below but it is interesting to note that the use of Maltese symbols is a recent development in their artistry: (Smith, J., 2009)  (Charles&Ron, 2014)

Spring/Summer 2014; the influence of the village festa

(Charles&Ron, 2014)

    Spring/Summer 2015; the influence of Valletta

(Charles&Ron, 2015)

       Fall 2015; Filigree

(Charles&Ron, 2015)

 Spring/Summer 2016; Maltese Luzzu

   (Charles&Ron, 2016)

         Fall/Winter 16/17; Maltese Festa

(Charles&Ron, 2016/17)

     The following article that appeared on the Sunday Circle is being reproduced in full

Barely four months after their super-successful showing during last season’s New York Fashion Week, when they showcased a collection of bold prints inspired by our traditional luzzu, home-grown designers Charles & Ron returned to the Big Apple just last week with a brand new collection that has left its mark with fashion journalists and gurus alike.

 The new collection was shown as part of the Arts Hearts Fashion, a platform for the world’s freshest and artistically-inspired designers to launch their collections in support of the Aids Healthcare Foundation.

 The designers described the starting point for the collection as being inspired by Malta and the Mediterranean, explaining that local architecture, heritage and history always played a big role in their designs. Our summer festi, with the spectacular fireworks and the colourful bandalori, turned out to be the specific inspiration for Fall 2016.  (Depares, 2016)

  Charles & Ron, 2017. . [online] Charlesandron.com. Available at: <http://www.charlesandron.com> [Accessed 30 Apr. 2017].

Depares, R., 2016. Charles & Ron dazzle New York Fashion Week. [online] Times of Malta. Available at: <http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20160303/arts-entertainment/charles-ron-dazzle-new-york-fashion-week.604461> [Accessed 30 Apr. 2017].

 Smith, J., 2009. Survivors The ageing polulation of Birgu – Velprint Ltd.

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During this weekend (following a quick break to Ireland to meet my son who has been away on an Erasmus experience since last January). I have started reading the ‘National Cultural Policy of 2011’.  This is a long document and I am still reading through it (planning to conclude it during this week).  I will be quoting a couple of statements from this document and providing my own thoughts and observations.

 In the initial introduction, the Prime Minister makes a reference to creativity being a backbone for innovation which I interpreted that creativity links to innovation which in turn links to entrepreneurship which in turn links to economic prosperity.  The Parliamentary Secretary states “Talent itself is a great asset; ……. Entrepreneurs need the necessary educational structures, legal systems and investments to professionalise their sector”. In both these statements, I felt that there is a mentality that our culture which has been shaped by many years and by many ‘outsiders’ has a uniqueness which can generate economic sustainability.  To substantiate this, I use my recent holiday in Ireland where for example, Trinity College in Dublin is highly regarded and visited by tourists to see ‘The book of Kells’. To my mind, the purpose of having this manuscript at this university is not only to have tourists come to view it but by viewing it at the university itself, it may create the possibility for students on holiday with their parents to consider Trinity College as the location to further their studies.  This book of Kells could have easily been located at the magnificent National Museum of Ireland in the ex-Collins Barracks.  In my opinion, this is an intelligent and sustainable approach to culture.  This policy also places the element of culture as being equally relevant for the wellbeing of society as much as the environment, social wellbeing and economic prosperity. This inclusion of culture as one of the 4 pillars of the wellbeing of society was a good ‘surprise’ to me and its relevance is even more interesting in view of Malta becoming even more mixed through a large influx of foreign workers who live here.

The policy also refers to an important aspect of culture within an international context and this refers to the importance of bringing international exponents to Malta as well as the focus of 2018 for the European Capital of Culture project.  I am very excited to continue to review this document to get further insight on my selected topic of the impact on contemporary artists by our Maltese heritage.

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This week we completed the debates.  Due to the debates, I heard a lot of interesting things that I had not heard about before or that were being performed in the art world.  I was shocked with regards to an Israeli artist who makes pendants from aborted fetus of her own.  To me personally this is not art, this does not make sense for the need to use another human being (who has no voice) to create your own art.  I do not think that this is being creative.   I was also shocked when I was told that there are art performances created where killing is involved and where an innocent person becomes part of the act.   Can this be considered ART???

The debates were interesting one could notice who was well prepared and it was important to listen to alternate point of views as it gives a much better to the topic.   I was very apprehensive in the preparation of my own topic for the debate, and unfortunately this showed during the debate itself when the time for questioning and presenting the rebuttal occurred in my excitement and nervousness, I was not able to deliver all that I had researched in a logical manner.  This happens as I create tension and fear within myself, though I am aware of it I still find it very difficult to overcome and keep control of my emotions. Nonetheless I am very happy that such exercises are given to us as I feel that my strengths and limitations become more obvious to myself and this should spur me on to improve and continue to develop myself.

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I am contemplating with the idea of treating the subject matter of motherhood with regards to my dissertation.  I came to this decision as having gone through difficulties of choosing what I would like to tackle, in general I do find it difficult to take decisions then a day might come when I can take and make all the right decisions.  I was speaking to two people this week and when I shared my concern of not knowing what I want to dedicate my time to they both remarked that I should invest all the time in something personal to me, this struck me and I thought why not tackle something that is very dear to me, have lived and experienced for these past 22 years!!!  A journey that does not entail a logbook with skills and techniques handed down to you but a journey where you read and learn through experience.  Sometimes doing the right thing and sometimes learning through your own mistakes.  Listening to other people relating their own stories, trying to pass on their beliefs and thoughts on how to rear your own children.  I was browsing on the internet and came across a performance artist who wanted a home birth, though she decided to deliver her baby in a performance birth at a Brooklyn Art museum in front of a live audience.

There was quite an outrage as people took it against her and were calling her names and accusing her of child abuse.

Kotak herself told the Daily Beast “Giving birth is the most direct expression of the creative life force, and, therefore, the highest form of art. By giving birth in public as a work of performance art, I am making the statement that everyday life is art, just as it is.”   (Birth as Performance Art?, 2017)

 At the end of the day I do not think that this should have caused such a stir as it was up to the audience themselves to watch the whole experience or not and what is so wrong with seeing someone bring life into this world or breastfeeding in public we see this everywhere on television. There was a programme on TLC where one could watch the whole beginning to end of home childbirth live on television.  

 Reference: Block, J., 2011. Birth as Performance Art?. [online] The Daily Beast. Available at: <http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/10/17/birth-performance-art-marni-kotak-other-moms-who-share-all.html> [Accessed 2 Apr. 2017].

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This week I read a chapter during one of our lectures titled ‘speaking effectively the quick and easy way’ where it was a relief to read such a chapter as it spoke about people giving talks about their own personal experiences where they pulled in their audience to listen attentively.  As I was reading through it, it made me aware that it is okay to deliver a speech based on your own experiences and knowledge, you do not have to be a professional speaker to deliver a good speech and to hold your audience. These ordinary people held their audience through speaking about themselves, about their most embarrassing moments, their memories or how they met their wives or husbands, they lived these experiences and wanted to share them with their audiences.  They were not asked to study or research about something they maybe had no interest in but spoke passionately about something they experienced or believed in.  I believe that through these talks the audience could at least understand and relate to their experiences and everybody probably understood what was being said. There was also an example about a man who read an article in a magazine not because he was interested in the subject but because he needed to fill up a slot of time during his speech.  He ended up stating what the author had said and not his own reflections about the article, the audience was not interested in what the author said but in his interests and ideas.  The week after, he delivered another speech though this time giving his opinion, his own convictions and background about the article, this obviously proved to make a much stronger impact on his audience. This I feel is so true as when you speak through personal experiences and convictions you are more passionate about what you are saying; this really applies to me as I have not chosen a topic yet for my dissertation, the reason being that I want to feel passionate about my dissertation subject,  where I am convinced of what I am doing, that I am capable and enthusiastic of delivering a speech about my convictions on the subject matter.  I am still searching for this topic!!!!!  

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Hello again😊 I am struggling with college this week!!!   I have just come back from a 6 km walk which always distresses me. I am continuously worrying of what is ahead and I cannot seem to take control of it – mind over matter. Yesterday we went to a party where I met two school friends;  one is a full time mum and the other has just taken up a role she worries whether she is capable of fulfilling.  I spent quite a long time speaking to each one of them where we poured out our troubles and worries.  We realised that we come from the same background of lack of self-confidence and doubts.  She encouraged me to fight my challenges and not to think ahead just think of overcoming a semester and once you have finished that decide whether you can go on to the next one.  The other friend I spoke to is a full time mum and when she found out that I was following a full-time course in the Arts she was excited and asked me what it is all about and she had also checked regarding this arts course.   I asked her what she concluded and she told me that she did not want to take on such a commitment, she even told me that she does not know where to start from doing assignments as she has no idea how to do them. I responded neither did I but from one unit to another I grasped the method.  After pouring out all my dirty laundry I did feel like I had released a lump in my throat and I realised that I am putting too much pressure onto myself where I am continuously feeling mentally tired, where I am breaking down due to doubting myself so much.  It is not the end of the world I will take it day by day and accept my limitations due to my own learning difficulties. How strange the more I learn the more I feel I do not know anything and wish that I did know much more.  

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This week we had three presentations and one of them was related to science.  We had to come up with 5 proposals which I managed, I chose one proposal and worked on that further as my tutors told me that I was remaining too literal.  So, I wrecked my brains, had sleepless nights too until I came up with some other ideas away from the literal.  There was one idea I liked, though when I spoke to one of my tutors he told me that it was still too literal.  Eventually, I changed to another idea where I based my proposal on environmental statistics.  When I forwarded my idea to the other tutor, he asked me who I am.  I responded by saying artistically I do not know who I am and through college this is a journey where I am exploring new pastures to discover who I really am. After delivering my presentation, I realised that I wished I had stuck to my initial idea which I believed in, I am sure I would have moved away from the literal while working throughout the unit. We have quite a few practical projects where we must choose themes to work on, so this is a question I keep asking myself and through these projects I believe I will truly get to know who I am and what I really like to do.  With regards to my subject matter for my dissertation I am still rummaging through my thoughts to see what I would like to develop.  My tutor yet again told me do something personal maybe motherhood, materials?????  So, this is my journey of self-artistic discovery!!!  My mind and thoughts are always everywhere, I like to experiment with many different techniques as I do not like to limit my opportunities.  I also like to mix a lot of different things together like 2D with 3D.

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What a week it has been, we had 2 deadlines last week and another 3 for tomorrow.   How exhausting!!!!   But somehow, we manage :))) We at college are resilient :))) So, yesterday we went to the cinema to watch a film which we have not done in years.  Friends of ours called us up in the afternoon and we agreed to join them we went to watch LION.  A very moving and touching true story, everybody had tissues towards the end of the film.  After we watched this film, we decided to go for a coffee, so we walked through Paceville and walked down to St. Julian’s.  After sipping at our coffees for around an hour, we decided to start walking back to the car. This was at around 11:30pm. We had to walk through Paceville again, this time it was not as empty as it was earlier. It was full of girls in the middle of the streets outside the gentlemen’s clubs they work for. I counted the clubs as I was walking through and I think there were about seven of them all not far from the other.  I suppose their business must be thriving if they are still functioning.  As we got to the end of the road, we started a discussion between us whether these girls in these clubs do this job because they want to as they do not have another choice or if it is something they want to freely do. We concluded that if they had the choice to earn the same amount of money doing something else they would not do it.  It was quite an emotional debate as my friend and I being both female were all the time arguing that they were demeaning the female race.  We were speaking in this manner as we did not come across any female clubs and it seems as though the female allows herself to be the underdog. What is happening on our island, why have these places been legalised.  This is my opinion.  

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Our return to start the second semester has been quite a rollercoaster ride due to the many deadlines we are already facing.  We have life cases this semester which we have never experienced before, issa naraw. The hard work is until you figure out what you would like to do (the concept), though, after carrying out a task with regards to research, the research itself inspires you to come up with creative concepts. Though I can already feel the pressure!

 With regards to my dissertation, I have decided to change my subject matter, though I have no idea what I would like to do.  In the beginning of the semester I was panicking and was draining myself mentally so I decided to stop worrying about it and put it down in my blog.  I am going to take this opportunity to release all my thoughts through this blog hopefully leading me to some sort of conclusion of an idea of the subject matter I would like to invest all my strength, energy and time in J.   I really enjoy working and experimenting with different materials, I am quite hands on.  I do not have much of a background though, due to starting at Mcast at level 5.  I do wish I had more of a background with regards to materials experimentation. Something which is very personal and hold greatly is motherhood so I was wondering if I could tackle that as a subject and maybe combine the use of different materials when it comes to my project. In the near future, I will try and see where this can take me and also try and discuss it with a tutor. What do I think of first the theoretical side or the practical side (project) of the dissertation in order to enable me to choose the subject matter???

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The week before progress week we had all our deadlines and with regards to the painting unit, one of our tasks was to be our own critic and compile a digital portfolio of our best works. I chose a few which I liked and thought were good, this initiative to create this portfolio gives you opportunity to showcase and build up a portfolio which would define who you are and what you are capable of doing.  Initially, these paintings were done as part of the tasks, under pressure due to deadlines.  After compiling my portfolio, this made me realise that next time round I would dedicate my time to all the different media and techniques we experimented with, not complete and give my all to the medium I enjoyed doing the most.  This portfolio changed my perspective with regards to be more versatile and be open to different types of media and techniques. With regards to other units, towards the end I was tired, the pressure and stress were taking over my strength and this affected my performance in the last week. This is a lesson learnt that when you need to get things done, do them now and not later!!!  Though, I tend to build up more work when deadlines are nearing. Insomma, semester after semester I feel I am progressing with regards to time management, organisation and self-belief, I have come to realise that when you put your mind to things and work hard you really can achieve results and believe in yourself more and more. Liberate yourself from others and believe in all that you do! Looking forward to another semester where every other step is another hurdle achieved and conquered!  Looking forward to the debates too!!

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My son is leaving for five months today to follow a semester at the University of Coventry through Erasmus. These last few weeks have been quite stressful due to the fact that my son had to look for accommodation while he attends college in Coventry.  This, I thought, would be a normal booking just like the one when you have to choose accommodation when planning a holiday, so we left it in his hands.  I was quite busy with assignments and deadlines. It turned out to be quite a feat for him as all the landlords rent out their student apartments for a minimum of 6 months and the university campus rents out their lodging for a minimum of one scholastic year. While researching on the net, he eventually found this letting company and started liaising with them for a month before he found the appropriate property.  When he finally settled to choosing an appropriate room, we started the procedure of sending them an application fee to start the process.  By the way, we still did not have a guarantee that the room that my son had chosen would be available as it turns out that since my son wanted to reserve the room for 4 months and not for 6 months, obviously, the landlord leaves you hanging till the last minute just in case another interested student comes along and is willing to take on the full 6 months’ rent.  Finally, yesterday the landlord agreed to rent out the room for 5 months instead of 6 months. So, we finally settled everything, at least we think so as he still has to meet the letting agent today at 4 to pay upfront and sign the contract in order to enable him to be given the keys for his apartment.  So, the reflection on action is that next time round, I would let him do all the research, and after he has chosen his apartment I would intervene earlier so as to avoid all these last minute hassles that leave you drained with worry and apprehension!!!!

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This week has been a very hard week as during the weekend I spent time researching for my dissertation. It struck me that I was not really interested in doing what I was.  I was not happy with my subject matter; my thoughts were just get it over and done with for the task’s sake.  This held me from being able to concentrate on my other tasks and realised that I was falling behind.  This dissertation has haunted me from the beginning of this scholastic year, I was already feeling apprehensive in the summer due to the unknown with regards to this dissertation.  As each week progresses I come to realise that what needs to be done is to research a subject you are passionate about (it should be like your baby as we have been told:)))  to discover and learn more in depth about this passion of yours. Also in some cases to make others aware that maybe this subject matter has not been tackled or raised before. But damn this dissertation it is sucking out my energy with my constant thoughts about it, I have a mental block where I am even considering giving up on the course, but, then is it worth giving up all this that I enjoy so much doing just for one unit – NO. I will have to test my limits until it is not a health and social issue I will keep on fighting it.   Its like I am living in my own world where I do not want to speak to anyone, I know that speaking to others will help me as the more you speak about something you tend to feel better. This is something I have to tackle personally as I have to choose something that excites me, that I yearn to learn more and more about.  This mental block is being caused due to the panic that I am facing as we are only 2 weeks away from the deadline and I keep getting angry that I just couldn’t make up my mind in the first few weeks as otherwise I would have used this time wisely for researching.

 After holding a meeting with my tutor,  I came to realise that it is better if I tackle the subject matter chosen for this task then I will start looking for another title during progress week.  This week i also got to know that out of nine pupils in 3rd year six changed their titles of their dissertation, I was relieved as I thought I was the only one who could not make up her mind and had not chosen the suited title for myself.  I am the only one in class who is not happy with her subject matter so that was worrying to me.

 Anyway, now what is done is done, I will deal with the present then I have the chance to alter the future by changing my subject matter!!!!

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I have come to realise that unless you have challenges and goals in your life, nobody takes you seriously, neither do you take yourself seriously.  College has helped me discover many things I did not even think I could do especially the academic side such as digital art and the creation of reports. This was since I was not exposed to the multiple tasks we have at college. The course offers us a variety of art disciplines where each practical unit sparks your creativity. Waking up and quickly writing down when an idea has become a common occurrence!!! The truth is that I do enjoy doing the practical side of art more than the theoretical.  Each semester brings with it interesting challenging units with deadlines. As much as one does not like to think about those deadlines they are the drive to get your work done on time and to better manage your time. I am finding this year harder due to the higher content of theoretical work compared to last year. At college, we skim through everything due to the constraints of time while in reality an artist requires her/his time to complete whatever is being created. I feel that I keep on progressing with every project that is completed wanting to find more time to experiment further and deeper but I worry about the deadlines so I make sure that what needs to be done is tackled first. By the time the work is completed, I do not have the time to experiment and this is quite frustrating to me. Knowledge is so beautiful and this makes me motivated to attend college. This is quite contradictory, but I look forward to college everyday even though I live in fear of not achieving or stopping abruptly. But, then I reflect and look back and remember the times when the boys are at school and how unhappy and unfulfilled I was.    

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