dazed-by-days

[dazed-by-days]

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I’m full of hate & I love it..

- Eric Harris

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2018 was practice

2019 was practice

2020 was practice

2021 was practice

2024 was practice

2025 IM KILLING MYSELF

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i searched for fleabag gifs but you know what hell yeah

how it feels to be a girl with no friends and an empty heart

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i don't think that people get that columbine occurred at such a particular time in american history and therefore cannot ever be recreated.

i hope this makes sense. i typed this in a sudden and overpowering frenzy.

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too much surveillance, (24hr television broadcasting, the beginning of the internet, interviewing survivors and keeping tabs on the incident for weeks, the literal surveillance cameras in the cafeteria) too little surveillance, (harris and klebold went unmonitored, jeffco's refusal to listen to the browns or accurately stop h&k, the primitive nature of tech) and the prominence of media coincided and created columbine and its successors.

24hr news cycles & media coverage

when columbine happened, it was broadcast live on television and proceeded to be reported for weeks after. the helecopters hovering over the building captured images of students running out of the building, hands held over their heads, as they passed the corpses of other children.

why is this notable? it exposed america to the tragedy upfront, searing these images into the nation's mind for the past 25 years. for months, the following years, and decades, columbine has remained in the u.s.'s collective consciousness.

whenever a modern shooting breaks news, most peoples' first point of reference is columbine. the notoriety and how sensationalized the case got, especially the two teenaged perpetrators, made mass shootings into a hot topic for decades to follow. modern perpetrators try to replicate this, wishing to be the poster children of a movement.

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in terms of media coverage, no better example comes to mind than the december 1999 edition of TIME. on the cover, harris and klebold's senior portraits are in the center of the image, in high quality and color. surrounding them are the portraits of the thirteen victims, rendered in low quality and b&w.

this example best demonstrates the issue with columbine's coverage in the media, as the time magazine cover focused on e&d and the morbid curiosity of its audience over anything else. it's almost like an advertisement: "pick up our magazine and read all about the things these teenaged killers said!"

media consumption

my point about the media h&k consumed is especially true if their manifestos (basement tapes) and writings are taken into account. the two were somewhat secretive about their actions, albeit due to the carelessness of the adults in their lives. nowadays, a mass shooter wouldn't be able to create physical copies detailing their plans without being caught, especially with the online trails that modern perpetrators have.

in addition to this, the films and music consumed by h&k shaped their outlook on committing the attack + the personas they intricately crafted for themselves. it's apparent to me that reb and vodka were shaped after action movie heroes, the ones that were suave and powerful, which eric and dylan felt that they weren't.

(side note-- i find it intriguing that modern shooters are inspired by e&d's personas, which were inspired by film and videogame "heroes" (ex. mickey knox, the doomguy))

pairing that with their general differences to the suburban environment of littleton, which they related to in a white middle-upper class sense, likely heightened these feelings of alienation, so they heavily delved into films/videogames/music.

this has also had a profound impact on mass shooters of the 21st century, as they cite harris and klebold for their interests in kmfdm/natural born killers/whatever. although industrial rock and violent films were popular in the 90s, having national attention put onto two mass murderers interested in counterculture set columbine apart from previous attacks. this placed a target onto them, propping the two boys up as symbols of disenfranchised teens.

sidenote--most news outlets saw that they dressed differently and ran with it, making them the figureheads of alternative teenagers. it seems that modern mass shooters inspired by columbine aim for this notoriety as well.

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technology, warning signs, and columbine

at the time, there was also this odd intersection of technology being both accessible and inaccessible. eric had a website in which he proudly posted brooks's phone number, and spoke of vandalizing homes in the neighborhood. for him to have a website, or just being as online as he was, was considered odd. the fact that eric and dylan were able to be somewhat covert about their plans is notable, especially in a time where internet usage wasnt as pervasive and easily accessible. eric's site was seemingly a haven for him to air out his grievances against anyone/anything that upset him, tucked away so that none of the authority figures in his life would know about it. everything in the case surrounding h&k's ability to hide things from the adults in their lives, but leaking enough information to concern their peers, is something lost on modern shooters. seeing the notoriety the two gained post-shooting has likely motivated a prideful mindset within the aforementioned modern shooters, leading to more obvious and online posting.

even if you take erics website out of the equation, the school assignments, journal writings, and other leakages were notable in that people weren't as well versed in mass shooting warning signs/prevention. now, with a levy of copycat shooters to reference, there's an obvious link in behaviors among school shooters in the 21st century, which didn't exist pre-columbine. eric and dylan's behaviors were alarming back then, but if exhibited by a modern teen, would result in more serious consequences for the both of them.

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attempts to recreate the outrage that occurred post-columbine will always fail, because copycat attempts often don't understand what made the original so harrowing and awful.

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dylan's duster, left behind on the library carpet.

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Dylan: Ready the torpedoes! Mr… uh… Nate.

I don’t think I see this one often =]

[From Dylan and Nate’s video]

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Short clip of dylan playing video games

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& me i am her daggggerrrrr

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little dylan ˗ˋˏ ♡ ˎˊ˗

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> ‸ <

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It has been officially 10 years since James Gamble took his own life on Febuary 13th, 2015.

Rest easy, Jamie, he would've been 29, turning 30 next August the 6th.

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got logged out of my account here & nearly had a heart attack

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Dylan Klebold during prom

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