dazailover69

[dazailover69]

My Friend Made A Buzzfeed Quiz

https://community-dashbird.buzzfeed.com/global/midorimamba

Prepare to be disappointed

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Interrogation- Eternal Agony (Dazai x Reader)

Previously...

(Dazai’s P.O.V)

Y/N can still feel pain. She can't die.

So, to Mori,

Y/N is a play toy, who can live through even the cruellest of tortures.

(Y/N P.O.V)

Fear.

I had never felt the dense electricity so violently thrum, against every bone in my body. Every hair stood on edge, while Dazai's gaze never left my eyes. He stood leaning, against the dark stone of the wall, not once moving his vision from me. His authorial stance urged me to retaliate and fight in any way possible, but the fear racing throughout me, pushed any thoughts of fighting, away. I'm a coward.

All I know is that I did something, I just don't what it was. For all I know, I could've broken a historical heirloom or dirtied his favourite carpet. I don't understand the difficulty in telling me what happened. Just constantly being left in the dark, was driving the electricity, to flood my bones and veins. The unknowing, is was the source, of what was pumping the feared full energy throughout me. It's a sickening feeling.

I hated being left in the dark, being confused and unbeknownst to what was going to happen. I hated being chained to the slab of concrete, binding me from freedom. I hated the fact; I was still breathing.

I despised it.

Once the endless silence became too much, I gathered my confidence and sliced the quietness, "If you are just going to keep staring at me, could you at least tell me what happened?"

The stare Dazai returned was dark and cold. He huskily replied, "I'm sure Boss will have a fun time telling you"

My throat dried up. Taking a shaky breath, I tried to calm my pumping heart.

I'll be okay, just stay calm. I can get through this.

Or can you?~

Please. For whatever is going to happen, please for the love of god, don't be here. I can't stand another minute being around you.

Y/N~ Y/N~ Y/N~, you don't understand do you?~

You get to be reincarnated so many times soon~

I didn't have enough time to react, to Its words, before the clacking of someone walking downstairs, interrupted my thoughts. Every step echoed off the stone-cold walls, reverberating the anxiety buzzing within me. A dark laugh began to burst out, of the Port Mafia executive, causing my body to jolt, at the suddenness.

"You're so fucked, Y/N-chan~" Dazai smirked. His whole body reacted in joy and pleasure, of watching me suffer; but his eyes held something completely otherworldly. Pity spoke in his chocolate brown irises.

Pity.

I had never seen someone look concerned for me, let alone a port mafia member to even feel pity towards an individual. This thought got washed away, as soon as I realised that he felt pity for what was going to happen to me; to my future.

I really am fucked.

Once the echoes of stepping finally ceased, I looked up to see Mori's dark violet eyes, glinting with joy, as he fixtures his sight to my bindings and pain.

"Dazai, could you leave? Me and Y/N are going to have nice chat" the darkness was deeper, when he spoke my name, causing me to shudder and shuffle closer to the slab of concrete; further away from that monster.

"Yes Boss. Good luck, Y/N" There was no sarcasm, no anger, no lie hidden through his words. It was genuine. His departure was quick, but everything moved so slowly for me. I could feel another attack grow deep within me, tempting to burst at any moment.

Mori moved swiftly past my figure, to the behind, of the giant stone slab I was chained to. Grabbing a surgical table, Mori ensure I saw each piece of equipment resting on top.

Scalpels

Needles

Voltage Power Suppliers

Electrical Wires, with conductive clamps at the ends.

Gloves

Forceps

And so much more.

The sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, doubled in size.

"Y/N~," dread reeked from me, "Do you know what you've done to end up here?"

I couldn't make out a sound higher than a whisper, "No, I don't". I choked on the words.

"Well let's start from the beginning. When you passed out, it seemed something possessed you," he took the gloves, and began putting them on, making sure to create the sound of latex being stretched, hitting the skin.

"That thing, got your cuffs off." Mori paused, "You want to know how?" his voice dropped an octave.

"It ripped your hands off your arms, from the sheer force of pulling on the cuffs, and It immediately healed it with your ability"

What. No. It went this rabid. That thing couldn't have taken this much control. That thing can't use my ability while I'm unconscious. No. It can't.

"No" Tears flowed down my cheeks, endlessly pouring. I couldn't raise my head, from the ground. Everything felt so heavy.

Mori continued, "I was honestly taken aback. I couldn't believe someone had done something so painful as tearing off your hands. But do you want to know what happens next? Why you're truly down here, about to experience something so painful?"

With a scalpel in his hand, glinting, he laced his voice in anger and pure darkness, "You fucking clawed at my dear Elise."

.

.

.

"You know what it felt like?"

Using all his force, he shoved the scalpel straight into my heart. I screamed out in agony, saliva dripping out the corners of mouth. Making sure to twist the tool, Mori tugged it out. Blood poured, from what I knew was going to be the first of many wounds. A burning painful sensation swept the area, before "Angels of Death" activated.

"Now, you are going to tell me the truth about your ability, and if I fucking hear a single lie, I'll make sure to make my revenge much slower and agonizing" Mori spat out.

Pain. I can't stop pain. I'll always have the scars no one can heal, not even my ability. The mental scars never really heal.

.

.

.

Ango Sakaguchi.

You told me about how my ability was so much more than what it seems.

You told me about how my ability would cause me to suffer.

You told me of a man, who could give me peace.

So how come when I try to find peace and serenity, I get agonizing pain?

.

.

.

My words came out broken, "I can't..I can't tell you..." My tear stained cheeks, flowed with newly formed tears.

Taking a needle, filled with a dark black oozing liquid, Mori flicked the tip with his fingers, "Now, why is that Y/N?" His dark chuckle bounced off the walls of the room, causing chills to crawl up my spine.

I could only whisper a response,

"I don't want to be in anymore...

...Eternal Agony"

[dazailover69]

200 Followers Celebration Delay

Im sorry~

[dazailover69]

Day 1- Complete!

200 Followers Celebration! Day 1!

Enjoy my chuuya! (Who kind of looks drunk)

[dazailover69]

Celebrate good times~

200 Followers Celebration!

I made it to 200 followers on Instagram!! I’m celebrating for the next three days!

Day 1: Drawing!

Day 2: Head canons!

Day 3: Oneshot!

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony- Mistake (Dazai x Reader)

Slight Suicidal Themes

(Y/N P.O.V)

I felt all the blood rush right back into my body, as I came back to conscious. Blinking, I waited until my sight adjusted to my surroundings. Expecting to see blood to fill my sight, electricity thrummed within my veins, when not a single speck could be seen. Searching for an answer, to fill the questions that raided my mind, my gaze settled on the sight of the fluffy brown-haired man, with a gun positioned directly at my face. He stood with a powerful stance, with each leg propped to each side of my waist, as a lied on my back, supported by my elbows. My cuffs nowhere in sight.

The night sky filled the window, with not a single other soul, besides the Executive before me. His eyes swirled with anger and alertness, being aware of every blink and breath I took.

What happened? How did I get here? Where did everyone go?

The lump and dryness of my throat struggled to make out the faint words.

"W-what h-hap-pened?" Tears slowly overflowed, raising redness to flow into my cheeks and eyes.

"You have five seconds to stand and put your hands behind your back" An authorial tone flooded his words, causing every hair and goose bump to rise on my skin. Quickly, I rose to my feet, noticing how my skin was clear of blood, bruises and cuts. The fear that engulfed me, was intense. What was scary was there was no scars.

"Angels of Death" has never been able to activate, when I loose control. However, I would always come back to my senses, and my ability would soon activate after, which lead me to feel hopelessness in another possible attempt to be free.

Change.

It had change.

I'm so afraid of change.

His cool stern voice disturbed my thoughts. "You will follow every direction I give, unless you want to feel five bullets hitting your spinal cord". Moving behind me, he pressed the gun to my back. Slightly pushing it into my skin, he signalled to begin moving. I made sure to keep every step steady and listen to each command, not wanting him to notice the shakiness of my arms.

(Dazai's P.O.V)

Keep your cool. Stay calm.

Don't shake. Don't show fear. Don't do anything.

You're in control.

Consistently repeating the same words in my head, I forced the uneasiness, burning in my blood stream, to cool. I thrusted the gun to Y/N's back, making a mental note to ensure she would forget every turn that I demanded her to take.

Left.

Right.

Down the Stairs.

Right.

Left.

Confuse her. Make her lost. Let her lose her way.

Don't feel empathy. Don't feel guilt. Don't feel.

Coming across the top of the staircase, she slowed down, eventually coming to a stop. Her arms shook relentlessly, immediately flowing into her legs causing them to thrum with fear. She knows. She knows the pain that awaits her.

Smirking, I shoved the gun further, into her spine, and darkly said, "Get fucking moving".

After a few seconds of silence, Y/N begins taking another step and another. Steadily, in hopes if she could somehow find an escape, within her short time from the eternal darkness below her.

Finally reaching the last step, Y/N took in her surroundings quickly, as if she was searching for an answer to what would be happening. Her gaze fixtures on the giant slab of concrete, positioned in the centre of the dark chamber with silver glinting handcuffs hanging loosely from each corner.

Y/N's face contorted, into something I know too well, when entering this room.

Fear.

Quickly returning my gun to its hoister, I grasped her wrists and dragged Y/N to the slab, not letting her take the time to understand the true meaning behind her current circumstance. When she came to the realisation of the severity her situation, Y/N began to thrash and pull away. Swiftly, I threw her at the slab of concrete, letting small droplets of blood slowly drip down her face, as she made contact with the wall.

It doesn't matter if she gets hurt. Her ability will let her live. It doesn't mean that she can't feel pain though, since every single nerve in her body still functions.

While she sat dazed, "Angels of Death" automatically activated, giving me some momentary time to lock her wrists, while her body regenerates. I turned my gaze back to her glistening e/c eyes, brimming with tears. With her wrists locked above her head, she stood shaking, fear rebounding off every bone, within her figure.

I smirked.

For someone who caused me such a mental dilemma, it was nice knowing they were suffering too. After causing me to relive another mental breakdown, I needed to watch her endure some form of the same agonies. Except, the slight pang swelling in my chest, made it difficult to enjoy the sight.

I don't understand.

Why does it hurt to watch her legs shudder in fear?

Why does it hurt to watch her struggle with the restraints?

Why does it hurt to watch her eyes slowly morph into emptiness?

Emptiness.

It's something I look at the mirror, and see every single morning.

I can only feel for the pleasure being derived from the sufferings of others, and the anger that spikes and burns, when people push me off the edge. It's all I feel. It's all I have ever felt.

Pleasure in the sufferings, of enemies and innocent people, and anger.

Ango and Oda, are the only individuals who I have ever barely considered protecting, let alone talk to friendly. Mori promised me a pleasant suicide, so it's only right that I listen to his commands. Chuuya was a prick, and always will be. If i protect him, it would only be if I passed the point where living was better than death.

So, what am I feeling, towards her?

Annoyance?

Happy?

I don't know.

I'm scared of the things I don't know.

It shouldn't matter though. I won't be here much longer. Mori will come and get some revenge. After Y/N's incident, he wanted to get payment from her attack.

Elise threw herself, in front of Mori, before Y/N started punching and scratching at him. If you touched Elise, you were already dead. Mori would never let her live peacefully now, unless he got his repayment. However, since Y/N ability, "Angels of Death", heals her before truly dying and with her immense desire to die, Mori had to gather the right method and tools.

Y/N can still feel pain. She can't die.

So, to Mori,

Y/N is a play toy, who can live through even the cruellest of tortures.

Authors Note:

Hello~

I'm sorry for not updating last week. Had exams. Sad. But here we are with another chapter! I'm posting it early so I can get the next chapter done on time.

yay~

(Word Count: 1143)

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony: Update

So I’ve been trying to write the next chapter, but as usual I’m lacking both motivation and effort. I’m gonna try and update this weekend twice. I’m sorry~ It is a very difficult chapter to write, because the events are based on the emotional reaction similar to what I know people have been through. This is a hard chapter because trying to capture the fear in both a weak and strong person is something I don’t know to well. Let’s hope i can manage!

Bye~

[dazailover69]

Check out my other account! I’m creating covers, in hopes of making better photoshops. So tell me which one you guys prefer!

Tell me which cover is the best! 

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony- Port Mafia (Dazai X Reader)

Warning: Suicidal Themes

(3rd P.O.V)

Two large dark oaked doors took up Y/N’s vision, the only light being from the dim lamps, corresponding to each side of the door. The bodyguards stood motionless, with sharp black and white suits, contrasting the crimson soaked walls. Chuuya and Dazai stood silently with Y/N, in between them. Dazai bore a face lacking emotion, it was as if all life was sucked out of him except for the tiredness resting in his exposed eye. This was completely different from what emotion Chuuya wore. His furrowed eyebrows revealed the bubbling anger within him.

Tension. The tension in the room was thick enough to cut it.

Cuffs locked Y/N’s wrists, forcing her to be submissive to their demands. No matter what she did, she knew shouldn’t escape. It didn’t matter though. She wanted to be here. She wanted them to hear her issue and let her be free, but that voice wouldn’t let her. It would never let her.

Pain. It’s so much pain.

It’s so hard to succeed at suicide.

Her plan had failed. Y/N only wanted for Dazai to hold her hand, as she swallows the poisonous tablet, she had within the pockets of her black jeans. This didn’t go well though. She reminisced in how she ended up in this suffocating room.

FLASHBACK

(Y/N P.O.V)

“Y/N, Y/L/N. I am an ability user. I have the power to live through even the cruellest of deaths, at the expense of something invaluable. My ability is called Angel of Death”

. . .

Dazai swiftly snatched the dark gun hoisted in his black trousers and directly pointed it right between your eyebrows. Not a second later, did he pull the trigger, without flinching.

Suffering. I am always suffering.

An immense scorching pain singed my head, as I felt the bullet shatter the bone skull. It was agonising. Although I knew it wouldn’t be agonising, because of my ability, it didn’t change the painfulness of the infliction.

I closed my tear-filled eyes, to avoid the shining cult white circles surrounded me again. Every time I saw the activation, of my ability, it brought traumatic memories and constant heavy depressive feeling with it. I thought at some point I could become numb to both the physical and mental struggles, however deep down I knew it was a fantasy. My desires always were make-belief. When I finally grew to love something it would inevitably break, and become lost, like the scars along my wrists.

Opening my eyes, I saw only the bright ginger-haired, and dark chocolate curls of both males. The crowd seemed to have dispersed, out of fear of a fight. It was the most logical reasoning, seeing as how they had severely dangerous powers.

Before I could take another breath, the ginger abruptly flew at me and landed behind my back. Just as I was about to hit him away, he grabbed my arms and forced them behind me. He cruelly shoved me to the ground, sitting on my spine and tightly grasping my wrists.

Chuuya growled, “Dazai, how the fuck did you find her?”

Every tone of darkness evaporated from his voice, as Dazai sweetly replied, “Ahh~ Chuuya~, are you, jealous cause I found her~”

Chuuya’s screams, increased the desire for death, by a mile. How could someone be so strong and yet so bratty? I released a sigh of annoyance, to hopefully stop the bickering between them. It seems I was lucky today.

“So, what’s the plan now? You kind of forgotten to tell me the second half of the fucking objective, you waste of bandages!” His anger laced every word, making sure to exaggerate Dazai’s nickname.

Cruelly, Dazai returned, “If only you weren’t such a simpleton, Chuuya~. You would’ve figured out that we are going to bring her to Boss,” Turning around, Dazai sadistically smiled at my fearful eyes, murderously saying,

                                                     “We are going to take her to Boss”

END OF FLASHBACK

Everything about this situation was annoying. The horrendous heat, leaving beads of sweat dripping down my face, the thick tension causing the hairs on my arms standing up and the electricity circulating along my spine keeping me on edge. I was so close to being free of suffering, but life always loves finding a way to chain me right back down. If I wasn’t stuck in this suffocating room, I could already tell where I would be;

In a dark room, not a single flicker of light, and with tear-stained cheeks, watching the blood slowly drip down my wrist.

It was the harsh truth of my reality.

After what seemed like hours, the dark oak door finally opened to a figure sitting, in a crimson red cushioned seat, facing the oversize clear window. The man had slicked back, black hair with his bangs falling on each side of his face. He wore a black pinstriped suit, with a long dark coat to compliment it.

“Y/N, Y/L/N,” Once he had said my name, I shuddered with fear.

Something told me I wasn’t going to leave without losing something. Most likely something valuable. Life has a funny way of taking everything I need from me.

His cool voice continued, “Please come in.”

I slowly strolled inside, with Chuuya and Dazai waiting complacently outside the doors. They stared, making sure I wouldn’t do anything suspicious, as the large doors closed on them. There was no way I could do anything. The ominous stare of the male made me feel encaged in fear, especially with his gleaming smile reflecting one of a child’s who found a new toy to play with.

After reaching a point, where I felt comfortably distanced from him, I stood motionless. It felt like every move I made; he was reading. Every single breath, blink and movement was constantly noticed, nothing ever escaping his sight.

I didn’t like this.

His dark calm voice invaded my ears, as he said, “I am Mori, Ogāi. I am the head of this secret underground organisation, called the Port Mafia.”

Electricity thrummed through every single nerve from that simple sentence. I’m an idiot. My desire to be free has now caused me to be standing in front of the most dangerous organisation in Yokohama, without any form of defences. I can’t die, but that doesn’t mean I can’t suffer. I tried to control the constant shaking in my knees, in hopes of him being ignorant of the fear racing through my body.

Smiling sadistically, Mori continued, “Now, Y/N Y/L/N. Tell me. How do you feel about joining this company?”

I fell to my knees. Every bone in my body, shook violently. Tears slowly dripped down my cheeks, as I continuously tried to keep my breathing calm. I can’t have a panic attack in front of him. It only grew worse once the soft entrancement of Its voice entangled my mind.

Y/N~ I didn’t know you wanted to see me this badly~

Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please. Please go away.

I glanced over to Mori, who had stood up from his chair, and walked over to me, smiling creepily. He strolled closer and closer to me until he crouched down and grabbed my chin, forcing me to make eye contact with him.

“Y/N~ I need an honest answer.” His sadistic grin grew bigger, causing an immense chill to sweep over my body. “If you join the organisation, we can always give you what you want. A sweet nice death

                                                   or

maybe you want your family back?”

. . .

It only took that word to stop every emotion from pouring out of me. Family. I tried so hard to forget about them. Forgive and Forget. Why can’t I forget them?

Darkness swept my vision, as I came back to the place that haunts me every night.

Wow~ Y/N~ Mori really pushed you to your limits~

Empty.

I hate feeling this constant, never-ending emptiness within me. I hate it so much. If only had something or someone to fill it, but I know it can never be true. Death is the only escape.

Yes~ Death is the only way~ but I’ll never let you~

Crimson. Crimson blood. I consistently see it. It’s usually my own, but when I find something valuable, it’s always theirs too. I wonder whose blood I’ll see when I get back?

It doesn’t matter though.

Aww Y/N~ Why doesn’t it matter~?

                              Because it doesn’t change                               the fact that I’m still living. ______________________________________________________________

Authors Note:

hello~

I am back with another chapter... earlier this time. yay~ i should stop putting off my work now~ im too much like dazai~

cya~

(Word Count: 1413)

[dazailover69]

I’ve started another Account! Look At It! And be depressed because this hurts and it hurts me. Also this will be a substitute with the 3rd Chapter of Eternal Agony. Work. I have too much work. Sorry~

Head Canons: (Suicide)

WARNING: SUICIDAL THEMES AND IDEAS (It’s Kind of Obvious)

Kyouka Izumi 

- Kyouka had always thought of you as her elder sister, you were there for her always when she needed someone. You were the person who helped her see the little bit of light, throughout her and your port mafia days.

- When you were helping her touch the light, it was only dragging you further into the darkness. Fear of Mori growing more powerful with every day, made the darkness inflict more pain onto you. Well, it wasn’t the darkness just inflicting pain; the razor blade sitting on you beside table did it too.

- It began to get too much for you. Balancing the heavy loads of work Mori enforced, trying to regain your health before every mission, every day, and pushing endless training sessions on Kyouka, so she could protect herself from everything you feared. 

- You eventually snapped when you first saw Kyouka come back from her first mission. Her dead dull eyes reflected the same eyes she held when she first arrived in the port mafia. You had caused this. It was all your fault. Well, that’s what you told yourself. Only yourself. 

Keep reading

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony- Leap Of Faith (Dazai x Reader)

WARNING: Suicidal Themes 

(Y/N P.O.V)

Darkness.

Its all I see, Its all I feel, Its all I know.

I feel empty. Gone. Lost.

       Am I Dead?

.

.

.

.

No. That would be impossible. Especially because my ability is always active. Its such a strong ability, but it's negative effects are what drive me to do insane things.

Blood. I feel blood, dripping down my wrists.

Oh.

I'm having an attack.

My, my, my, well yes you are~.

Every bone in my body chilled at it's voice. Goosebumps formed all over my skin, causing the hairs to rise.

"Please. Please. Not again. Not again," I weeped and begged, "I can't. I can't do this again." My voice quietened with the fear of whats about to come.

Y/N, Y/M/N, Y/L/N~. Now why would I hurt you~?

I grew still. My E/C dulled, as I come to the realisation I won't be able to escape this time.

I begged one last time, in hopes of a miracle, "Please. I need rest. Please, please, please just leave me alone."

Its laughter echoed within my mind.

But I'm your guardian angel, Y/N, It's voice darkened, leaving a burnt imprint in my head of the cold harshness of Its voice, I would never hurt you~

A miracle was all I needed.

I forgot miracles,

       hope,

       love,

    dreams...

   don't exist.

Ango gave me hope, he gave me a light that I might be free, but I guess its a lie. It always is.

I succumbed to the voices of It, letting It destroy all the little hope, love and happiness, be burnt by the brutal strength of its words. It will take control of me. When I awake from this nightmare, I know what I'll see.

My blood will scatter the entire room, coating every bit of wall with crimson colour of my blood. It doesn't matter though.

Why?

Cause no one will know. No one will see the pain It forces me to feel, No one will touch the blood that laces my room, and No one will hear my screams for help.

My ability causes me unbearable pain. But what makes it worse is that no one will believe or see or hear the true pain it causes me, because my pain is always healed by it.

Life,

I have an endless life.

But all I want is to die.

(Dazai's P.O.V)

Sunlight glimmered and burned my eyes. I was stuck walking in next to the simpleton in the world, while I we head to our next objective.

Y/N. We were looking for her. After what I told Mori, he wanted to meet her and find out her intentions.

So now I'm strolling towards my mission, in the heat of the streets of Yokohama. I guess it was a beautiful day, for an ordinary person but for me I knew it was awful. The constant nagging of my orange haired counterpart, only made death more desirable. If I wanted, I could possibly die from dehydration going hand in hand with hyperthermia, although it might take around 2 days.

I sighed, "Too slow."

Chuuya screeched, "HEY! SOCIAL MISFIT! WHAT DO YOU MEAN TOO SLOW?!"

"Sorry, would mind not talking to me? I'm busy breathing right now." I replied coolly.

Angrily replying Chuuya said, "I'm going to rip your head off, you suicidal maniac"

I turned around to face him. "Somewhere out there a tree is working tirelessly, producing oxygen for you. You should apologise to it" annoyance clearly evident in my tone.

"AYE, SHITRA-!" Chuuya's screaming got cut off by the sound of something making contact with the ground.

Keyaki Dori Avenue. We were on that street, right next to Yokohama Landmark tower. Someone must've jumped. It's the only logical reason. Screams of the crowd reached my ears, causing a multitude of people to surround what fell. Faintly, I remembered the soft brokenness of Y/N's words.

Because mine won't let me die.

It's her. It has to be her.

I managed to weave through the crowd, pushing pass;

every parent covering their children's eyes,

every teenager looking away crying,

every person cradling their loved ones

and finally pushing pass every person running towards the body.

I ignored every scream and curse of Chuuya telling me to come back.

I was right.

. . . . .

It was her.

Y/N.

She lied on the dark grey concrete, lifeless. Lifeless. Her H/C was scattered in multiple places, with new gushing blood, flooding from her skull. Crimson. Y/N's blood was dark crimson red. Her E/C eye were wide open, but her iris held the same broken sadness, she felt the last time we met. Her clothes, a pure white dress-shirt with dark black pants, were bloody. She's gone. She's dead.

While do I feel a slight pain in my chest? Why am I hurting? I don't understand.

I turned around, letting my gaze fall to the floor. My head swarmed with so many thoughts that I couldn't control. It was like an endless swarm of thoughts that not even a Tsunami could compare. I wasn't thinking right. I don't like this. Why am I hurting? Make it stop. Make it stop please!

"DAZAI!" Chuuya's voice broke my internal conflict.

Sweat beads were falling down my face. I sat hugging my knees on the concrete, rocking slowly back and forth.

How did I get here?

Oh.

I had an attack.

I stood back up, Chuuya holding my arm incase I fell again. "What the hell, Dazai" Chuuya calmly asked, "What the fuck just happened?" My gaze fell onto Y/N body. Why did she give me an attack? She makes me feel things I never wanted to feel. But I don't know what that is.

Although, something brought my attention back to reality.

Her body, eyes, blood-

A white glowing cult like circle surrounded her body, similar to what my ability looks like when activated. Every drop of blood slowly returned back into her body, while all the open wounds healed. She slightly levitated off the ground, before her ability deactivated causing her to drop to her feet. Her eyes opened, letting the dull E/C attach immediately to my dark brown eyes.

Y/N's soft sorrow-filled voice caught me off guard, "Do you believe me, now Dazai? Or do I have to jump off another building?"

My voice went dark and hoarse, I was sick of what she was doing to me. "Not until you answer my question. Who the fuck are you?"

Her gaze turned sour and slightly annoyed. With a soldier-like tone, she replied, "Y/N, Y/L/N. I am an ability user. I have the power to live through even the cruelest of deaths, at the expense of something invaluable.

My ability is called...

                                               Angels Of Death "

____________________________________________________________

Authors Note:

hello~ i've been busy lately but im going to try to post here every sunday 6pm PST time. also i decided to give this chapter earlier than what was intended. enjoy this chapter~

cya~

(Word Count: 1172)

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony Chapters (Dazai x Reader)

Authors Note:

This is a place where all the authors notes are stored, in case anyone is looking for a specific note.

Description

This is the description for the book Eternal Agony

First Meeting

First chapter

Leap Of Faith

Second Chapter

Port Mafia

Third Chapter

Mistake

Fourth Chapter

[dazailover69]

Authors Notes

Key:

-Y/N            = Your Name

-L/Y/N        = Your Last Name

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For now this will be the key! If I change it I'll give a heads up in the beginning of the chapter!

All Authors Notes will always be updated here, with the date of course! So instead of searching for a certain one you can always come here.

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First Meeting- 11th Of October 2019:

Heyoooo, I'm new to wattpad so this is my first book! It's shit but still I'm trying. I'm hoping to fix my skill! Also Dazai is hot. He will forever be hot. I love him. (1227 words!)

Update- 20th Of October 2019

Hello~

I’m sorry for not updating recently. I planned to make this a weekly thing, but i kept gettting more and more work from my teachers to the point where I felt mentally exhausted. I’ll try and post this every Sunday at 6pm PST. Sorry again!

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony- First Meeting (Dazai x Reader)

(3rd P.O.V)

Swelling darkness filled the sky, leaving the only flickers of light to be the few shining stars and the dim illumination of the sign. Light rain fell from the dark grey blotches of the sky, colliding with the cold wind, creating to what the dark brown-haired man, standing under the dim lighten sign, would think to be a bad night. 

His soaked hair dribbled little droplets, falling down his clear smooth skin right onto the concrete ground below him. The black trench coat that stood on his broad shoulders was doused in the rainwater, along with white bandages that were heavily wrapped from his arms to his neck. 

The man tucked his arms into his trench coat, to avoid anyone noticing the bandages, that was now see-through. He sighed to himself before turning around to enter the building, named "Lupin".

Before the man stepped inside the warmth, he mumbled to himself, "I guess Odasaku and Ango aren't coming".

(Dazai's P.O.V)

Classical music danced its way into my ears, relieving me of the tension within my shoulders. I took my place to the middle of the barren bar, and comfily sat on-top the red cushioned stool. My arms rested along the varnished oak bench, only for me to pull back after I notice the stickiness of the bench. 

The sudden laughter of a light-brown haired man, caused my hand to flinch towards the hoister, where my firearm sat. His crimson red vest complimented his neatly tucked in a white button-up, while a black bowtie rested smartly on his collar. 

"Hwahwahwah. You'll have to excuse me for that. It seemed there was a fight here before, and a lot of alcohol was spilt." he calmly explained. 

"Oh," I replied, slowly putting my arm to its original resting position, "It's fine". Something told me a certain ginger alcoholic was the cause of this mess. 

The bartender grabbed a nearby whiskey glass and ragged tea towel, and began clearing the dust resting in the bottom of the glass. 

He smiled saying, "Well, while I clean up this mess, is there anything I can help with?".

I returned the smile, asking "I'll get a whiskey". 

Using the glass he was previously cleaning, he began to brew the concoction. 

The sound of steps becoming louder, pulled my attention from the bartender to see a young lady walking down the stairs. She wore a long crimson red dress that barely grazed the floor, with light beige heels to match. 

The woman took her seat right next to me and rested her head on her arms. She used her soft melodic voice to ask the bartender, "Could I please have a whiskey?". 

The bartender kindly replied, "One whiskey, for the lovely lady". She giggled in reply, while the bartender went to back to making both drinks. Her gaze shifted to my eyes and smiled, causing me to feel unsettled. 

"My name is L/Y/N, Y/N L/Y/N. And you?" her sweet voice asked.

"Nakahara. Chuuya, Nakahara" I responded curiously. 

I had never seen someone like this woman before me. From all the times I had been here, I had never seen someone so elegant and yet, it seemed wrong. It's was as if her presence is unpredictable and fake. Her face wore so many emotions and history that made it seem like she didn't belong to this place or time. 

She is dangerous. 

"What a beautiful name!" She exclaimed, "So what does a beautiful man, be doing here of all places?"

"Shut it" I darkly replied. 

She flinched. Her attention turned to the whiskey, that the bartender had left during their introductions. 

Taking a small sip, she asked nicely, "What's with the hostility?".

I turned my full attention to her, letting my dark gaze to fall onto her "innocent-looking" eyes. She complied by giving her attention in return. 

"What do you want? I can tell you aren't looking for a pleasant conversation. You asked what a beautiful man is doing here of all places, but I know it should be the other way around." I huskily explain, downing the entirety of the burning liquid. "You're looking for something or someone. "Lupin" isn't a place a foreigner can suddenly come across, especially someone dressed as nicely as you."

Y/N's gaze fell. The happiness and joy previously bubbling had warped into nothingness. Her eyes lacked emotion and life. Her posture drooped and she let emptiness consume her. That was her true self. 

I laughed. Her true broken self being exposed was too humorous for me to handle. 

Darkly I asked, "I really can't think of your motives though, Y/N chan~. So tell me, do you even have a goal in mind?" 

A dark broken smile grew on her face. Y/N emotionlessly giggled, "It's simple really. There is only one thing I will ever want," She leaned in close, letting her warm breath touch the tip of his ear lobe. Her soft broken voice, whispered,

“Death”.

.

.

.

Bullshit. It must be a lie. Her wrists showed no harm, and even so her posture, stance and walk would reveal signs of some form of pain. The skin covering her body was fresh and clean, free from any signs of self infliction. My gaze fell letting all my true emotions show; mainly annoyance.

“Liar. You show no signs of self harm, besides your incredulously awful acting,” I darkly smirked, “Now if you will tell the tru-“

“You don’t believe me” she quietly interrupted. Her eyes filled with water, slowly overflowing and falling down her cheeks.

Tired.

She looked so tired...but why? For the first time I just don’t understand. I had never misunderstood someone. I had never felt so confused. Who is she? What does she want? She downed the rest of her drink, placed a twenty dollar note on the table, and stood still.

Emotionless. Tired. Sad. That’s what her body spoke.

“Sorry for disturbing your time here, Dazai Osamu” Y/N spoke, lacing her voice in irritation.

“How the fuck do know my name?” I replied, interrupting her exit.

Her broken eyes fell onto mine, as she stood frozen at the doorway.

Emotionlessly she returned, “Dazai Osamu. Ability, No longer human. It has the power to nullify any ability users power,” Y/N turned back around to the exit, letting a single tear fall to the floor.

I took my stand, letting all the darkness and anger to radiate. How does she know this? She is dangerous. I need to know her intentions. Y/N L/Y/N will be something I need to warn the port mafia about.

Y/N voice wavered, “Tell me Dazai, do you think you could nullify my ability?” She turned around completely.

Letting a beautiful broken smile to fall on her face, she said,

“Because mine won’t let me die”

With that she left. I didn’t see Y/N again that night. Nor for days after. Like how she suddenly appeared in my life, she left just as quick. Y/N.

Y/N L/Y/N.

I will never forget that name.

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Authors Note:

Hello! I am yours truly. This is the first part of the wattpad book called Eternal Agony. Created by Me. If you guys are invested, than I’ll probably be posting chapters earlier over in wattpad than here!

Peace ✌️

[dazailover69]

This really good. So it really hurts. I want to be in Chuuyas place. I wish I was this good of an author.

Almost Too Late...

Mayhaps I cried the smallest amount while trying to write this. Please tell me if you enjoyed and I’ll try writing more one shots. Please send in a request if you have something you would like me to write about.

Btw I have no clue why I called it Almost Too Late.

Word Count: 876

The last thing he remembered was the feeling of corruption taking over his body. He knew he shouldn’t have used his corruption form, not while Dazai was nowhere to be seen. But he didn’t have any other choice, the port mafia was supposed to be the strongest, the ones who never lost a fight, especially not to some low-level ability users. He had been outnumbered and ambushed, too many for him to beat on his own.

He used to have the choice, was asked before he risked his life in such a way, his old partner was always there to catch him when he fell. But he was gone. Chuuya was on his own now. He didn’t want a new partner and he refused to join one of the smaller groups. No one could hold a torch to the power he used to have, the partner he had that always had his back. The partner that despite being in the mafia still looked after his friends, the ones that may have seemed disposable to so many others, that were irreplaceable to him.

He didn’t know how he got out of there. He didn’t know what stopped his corrupt form from destroying his body completely, however he wanted to assume he had a guess.

Laying on the hard surface that was the hospital bed he could feel the emotions that he had held back, the ones that he kept within himself the moment he left till now. The anger, the pain, all of it. Every single thing that he felt and never realised.

Keep reading

[dazailover69]

Eternal Agony (Dazai x Reader)

This is the description to the book I am creating:

A seemingly endless war of violence and murder, came to cease within the Port Mafia. Mori Ougai had recently taken the place of the former boss, which caused a significant increase in prosperity and success, for the huge underworld organisation. It was during these times where Dazai Osamu met a young lady, that captured his attention. From their very first meeting, Y/N and Dazai would be a relationship that would blossom into a beautiful rotten rose.

Dazai sighed, "I really can't think of anything, Y/N chan~. Are you sure you even have a goal or desire in your head?"

Y/N giggled at his visible confusion, "It's simple really. There is only one thing I will ever want,"

She leaned in close, her warm breath touching the tip of his ear lobe. Her soft voice whispered,                                                                        "death".