dayswithv

[dayswithv]

today is the 30th of the month again, i wonder if he still manifests this. a year ago. a lot of things has changed. i just can't help being emotional while reading this.

i just hope he still feels the same way. i just hope he can claim that i'm still the best thing that's ever been his.

[dayswithv]

102924

random thoughts.

i miss the old parts of you. but i am glad to have met the one that you have become and the one you will becoming. i don't know if i am going to be still part of that, but always remember that i will always be by your side if not, i'm just behind, cheering for you.

you have been a special part of my life, making me realize the importance of growth and how I should be facing life.

i love you.

[dayswithv]

101124 #2

kinakabahan ako na na-eexcite for tomorrow. hindi talaga ako sanay umatted sa mga conference or mga whole day seminar tapos ako lang mag isa. sana talaga makayanan ko. pero excited din naman ako kung ano yung matutunan ko doon.

i just need a little push.

[dayswithv]

101124

magulo ito pero ito lang yung mga gusto kong i-share

i just realized na lahat ng nababasa ko sa shared posts niya, it makes sense. like i can also relate and somehow parang naiintindihan ko na rin kung ano yung pinagdadaanan niya ngayon.

ang hirap lang kasi sa ganung paraan ko nalalaman hindi yung napag-uusapan. ang hirap maging vulnerable kahit sa taong mahal mo. pero kasi mabigat talaga siya sa dibdib kapag hindi mo nailalabas.

ako rin kasi yung tao na hindi ko alam kung paano ko sasabihin into words. actually kahit sa panahong sinusulat ko 'to hindi ko ma-construct ng maayos yung gusto kong sabihin.

may mga times talaga na hindi ko masabi yung gusto kong sabihin at the moment, lalo na kapag mabigat ung topic, yun bang hindi ko talaga siya ma-express agad. yung kailangan ko ng time para mag-isip.

kailangan ko nalang talaga siguro muna mag-focus sa sarili ko ngayon.

yung way nalang talaga is suportahan siya sa mga ginagawa niya.

ang sarap sa puso nalaman kong proud din siya sa akin.

[dayswithv]

alternatives to “i want to die”:

i want things to change

i want a different life

today was a shitty day/week

i don’t want to live like this

i want to be somewhere else in life

i’m not where i want to be yet

+ much more

[dayswithv]

092824

it's very late posting this one but i have to write this for me to remember.

supported the boyfie on his advocacy and learned maybe a thing or two about basic bike repairs. i couldn't be more proud of him!! seeing him in his element makes my heart happy. so so happy!

i ordered stickers from his logo for his project as my birthday slash congratulatory gift. sayang nga at hindi umabot sa mismong launch, kasi medyo late ko na rin naisip na ganun ang ibigay sa kanya. as usual, he's the person na hindi pa rin nasasanay makatanggap ng gift. i had a letter attached on the box pero hindi ko alam kung nabasa na niya as of this writing.

i met new people as well, not as in new-new pero finally i got to meet them in person like rani!

after the event, tumambay muna ako sa masukal bistro since it's their anniversary as well. ate our favorite susej meals and drinks from gedli coffee.

september has been full of ups and downs.

i just really hope that the last months of this year will still bring happiness to my heart.

everything will be okay.

[dayswithv]

092724

Friday. 11:04 pm

october is so near and i am entirely sure that i will be seeing "wake me up when september ends" posts lol. september went by soooo fast!!!!!!

i could say i had a good day today compared to the previous days. which is so hard. a lot of things happened at the office! i woke up kinda late but i was able to catch up on our service. things are kinda hectic since the peak season is coming really quick!

sharing some highlights for today:

i got my favorite icy choco and tuna bunwich for breakfast, plus i got an SB19 photocard of justin. i intended to just have the food but there are combo meals so why not?? btw, i am nota huge fan of the group but i love their music!

for the first time this year, i reached my sales target for this platform i am handling like F I N A L LY!!!! the last 7 months has been a miss i am so frustrated. i just hope that OND will be of the roof!

we had a lunch out AGAIN today, but this time with THAI food. i really am not a fan of spicy food or those with weird combinations but i am so glad that i gave it another chance because i really did not like the first time i tried it. or maybe i did not order the best sellers. the pad thai was sooooo good as well as the spring rolls! this is my go signal that i can travel in thailand now that i have appreciated their food. will try again other dishes next time!!

i was supposed to go to an event today, forgetting that it is for next week! i had all my gears with me but unfortunately there's another different event there but that's actually okay. i registered last minute but by the time i am booking to go to the venue, there are no cars accepting. sad but i guess it's just not meant for me. so i just decided to go back to the mall and think of something to do because i really don't want to go home yet.

i decided to get dinner and ate my favorite gyoza at yoshinoya. i really wanted the ramen but it will take time to eat since i am going to watch a movie.

i watched the cinema for the first time, ALONE and i loved it. i watched jungkook's movie slash documentary, I AM STILL. and that's when i realized i missed him so much. i miss them so much like, the scenes flashed before my eyes. i am so so proud of this boy, now a man, making a name on his own. maybe i'll post another entry regarding his movie and some realizations.

i guess making this blog is another highlight for me today, sharing what i did and sharing my feelings.

i am ending this entry now, i have to sleep because i will be going to an event tomorrow. i hope i can do what i wanted to achieve and also i hope things will turn out okay. my heart is having mixed feelings about this. i am slightly anxious, nervous.

everything will be okay.

[dayswithv]

just another safe space (i guess?)

hello. it's me again.

i really wanted to write on a paper but my hand won't let me and the way how i write now is so bad. i am no longer used to writing something for so long and most of the times the words are not recognizable any more. so here i am on my laptop, created another blog, adding carbon footprints here on the internet.

i really just wanted to make this one exclusively for being my diary and i don't know if there will be people following, i don't care.

i don't know either why did i made this space just now. i should've done this sooner but i guess, it's not yet too late.

see you around.