dayssincembagraduation

[dayssincembagraduation]

NPR Called Me the Poorest of the Poor Today!

I have a lot of catching up to do on this blog. So no Star Date figured out for today....but I can tell you it is May 13th, 2017! 

It's a beautiful day in my town today. Weather is mild, the sky is a great shade of blue, puffy, happy looking clouds actually, dot the sky. I have an almost full tank of gas, bills are currently paid, well no one waiting, at least waiting for any more than their due dates, and I am coming home from going to the next town overs chain spa. I have worked there for just a year a few weeks ago, at least until I have my 3-week notice. I have decided to work for a therapeutic company working out of my own little town. 

So, why was I coming from the chain spa at 2 pm on such an amazing Saturday, you wonder? Because I am still homeless. I am still grossly underemployed, certainly not to my lack of trying. This is my 5th attempt at a “betterment” opportunity since I sold my qualifications...., ok basically begged the owner of the spa to let me come on board. The chain spa actually has been the most stable and fewer stresses in my life for the last year. I was asked by the owner if I would come in for a few sessions, my choice of hours and how many. Sweet huh? It is Mother’s Day weekend, I didn’t work Friday, I really have no really good reason not to go in, so I did. 

The waiting list didn’t produce early morning sessions like I agreed to, but I did manage 2 sessions. It’s fine. It will be about $50 with tips after taxes. I mean, I did get to sleep in until 8:30 am. I opened the house, watered plants, made food, per the schedule, for my roommate's mom, whom I am in charge of most of her care for trade of room and board, fed and played with my dogs and did manage to squeeze some yoga in on the deck before showering, hair and makeup and out the door. 

I have my ups and downs with internal feeling of my personal career success. Such a down time was just Friday when I decided that I didn’t have enough funds to fill the tank again after attending a licensed required class some 82 miles away. Also, the subject matter was going to be very hard to deal with and I couldn’t reconcile my own existence, and human trafficking detection, the class subject, was not going to help. 

But the weather is beautiful. Did I mention that? I have what I need, yes, I think I have mentioned that too. The spa is pleasant, was requested by the two clients, feeling content. 

Then, as I clear some of the last traffic lights that separate the bigger town over and having long, rural farmland to pass getting home, the NPR newscaster read a new report on the wealthiest of Americans from 2012-2014 did better than inflation at 5.3% with inflation being just 2.8%. That middle incomes moved just over 2.8% and that the “poorest of the poor”, individuals making less than $14,000 saw no increase in their income over the same time period. Poignantly stating that means less food on the table. Then...on to the next news story.

Less food on the table. Poorest of the poor. Almost feeling like the food comment was a plea for social consciousness. Almost had a feeling that there were ALOT of Americans Poorest of the Poor. That they had already given up vacations, given up new cars, were wearing old hand-me-downs and no internet...that they had given up everything that they could just to exist and now, they were giving up their food. Working hard. Not seeing a change in income that is not making its previous grade. 

And I was one of them. Though it is easier this year for me. Easier than any year I have known since deciding to end a 13-year marriage. Easier in a way that, I don’t have other people to feed and cloth. But I am still not out of debt. I am still not on vacations. I have been spending a lot and some in the form of credit, to regain my health. Chiropractor costs, massages, vitamins, protein powder, fresh veggies. In hopes to transfer the spending of money to healthier choices from eating on the road due to all my fill in jobs and ward off the Dr.’s suggestion of having bariatric surgery. 

My story isn’t anything special or superhero-like. It has been done before, others have done better, others haven’t pulled the same rabbits out as I. I am not looking for a pat on the back. I want to be able to make it. Be of use to my community, not another social consciousness reminder. 

But when I sit down and I work this out, this situation, this version of a life, I end up feeling a bit petty, a bit small, because for one minute do I think that I have had it worse than anyone else in my lifetime? In my century? The history of my country? NPR educates me of these viewpoints every day. But what can I do? What can I do to help myself that I am not already doing for myself? I already drove 22 miles for $50 pay! What can I do to better my fellow PotP? (Looks like pot to piss in) 

I think on this. I ponder it as I travel home, on a beautiful day, on farm filled rural roads going through the one traffic light in town before I turn into my driveway, realizing I missed the beautiful farm fields, in a town I have enjoyed, from a great day of work. 

[dayssincembagraduation]

Day 504-506 Toast Masters Spring Converence 2014 Volunteering (Star Date: May 4-6)

What is the number one thing that an unemployed, under employed or changing careers person is told to do to aid in landing a job?

VOLUNTEER! Yep, volunteer. You keep yourself busy, engaged, learning new things, making new friends, hard work is a virtue and helping others has a positive effect on our souls. So that is what I did. 2x over. Let me explain.

I rejoined my local Toast Masters club. Mostly to network with others, build up my speaking skills and maybe find my next job or client. But the over achiever that I am, I went one step further.  I volunteered at the club. The Toast Masters were preparing for a Spring Conference and my club happened to be in charge of hosting this year’s event and as luck would have it, the event was right here in town. 

I volunteered to help the facilities chair. We would have some set up and unloading on Friday and an early start Saturday for final set up. A 5 am set up! This is volunteering. 

I arrived early to the venue to familiarize myself with the lay of the land. Where the restrooms were, how to get to the elevators, what banquet rooms were for us to use, where to find the bar. Well, you never know what people will want to know. Then, I met Josh, a hotel banquet employee. He was slender, taller than me, dark hair, brown eyes...of course. When I asked a question about where the "Taft" room was that I was with the Toast Masters for the weekend and that I would be on the facilities team, there seemed to be "a moment" between us. I passed it off as my over active search for available men to meet. Besides I was here to "volunteer" for my group and for my resume, not score a date. But then again multitasking, over achiever wouldn’t do it that way right?

He showed me around the hotel’s public areas. All of them. (Maybe it wasn’t just me noticing the moment.) He was sure to let me know that he would be there all weekend and to just let him know if we needed anything. 

The Speak-a-thon was the Friday night event. I have never been to one but I am such a geek about these things, I knew it should prove to be an interesting night. I start to not physically feel well and though I know that I was going to be with friends and meeting new people tonight, I was lonely. Terribly lonely. I was in my head way too much. I kept my headphones in as the early birds trickled in. A few people from my club came in and greeted me warmly as always. I had to make a decision...go home or take the ear buds out. I drew in a deep breath, wiped my ever leaking eyes and pulled the ear buds. I drew a warm smile on my face, put my bat ears on and split my attention between the individuals next to me, others talking in small groups around the room and the new comers. 

I just walked up and started greeting; the hostess-with-the-mostess. Well, I at least put it on medium-high glow. I spotted several individuals that for different reasons caught my attention. One was a couple that came in from Canada. As it worked out, he was speaking tonight. Another man caught my attention. You might think he caught my attention for obvious physical reasons but it was his presence in the room. He was not the tallest man in the room, about 30 something, dark hair, 5 o'clock shadow, polo shirt.  He, too, was a speaker for the evening. I should have figured. I was approached by an older woman, cute as a button, donning an over the top Southern Bell hat. She REALLY got into the theme for the conference of the Kentucky Derby. The hat was over flowing with flowers and ribbons. She even had a tag on a string that read “Half Price” in favor of Mini Pearl from the Grand Ol’ Opera. She sat down next to me, at the end of the row. She was a speaker too! I can pick them, the winners in the group. The speakers were just amazing! Funny, charismatic, articulate and had great life lessons learned.  

After the socializing was concluded, off to the base camp room where we discussed what needed to be done for the set up that was to start at 5 am. We worked until 11 pm. At 6:46 am we were well under way for the full day of speeches, awards, classes and financial club business meetings. It was exciting to be collecting club flags and preparing to display them for the whole conference to see. There were 32 clubs represented for the weekend. I enjoyed meeting a new Toast Master as I collected their flag or aided them in assembling their banner stand and chatting about the day’s activities, where they were from or the great hats that people were donning.

I made it a point to meet and talk to as many individuals as I could. I spoke to 36 different individuals out of just shy of 100 people. The conference had is its set up challenges, scheduling timelines that we didn’t always keep and the information over load by 2 pm but all in all, the information was relevant, interactive and fresh. I was very impressed with the whole thing.

Volunteering. That is what I did this week end, volunteered at my civic group hoping to network and maybe find my next project or job and I learned so much, meet many people, connected with professors, consultants and others that will last for years to come. 

[dayssincembagraduation]

Day 502 (Star Date: 5/1/20140

I hired a private eye to find my life...because THIS is not my life.

[dayssincembagraduation]

Day 499 (Star Date: 4/28/2014)

The new schedule is grueling but feasible. I have to keep my head in the game. Hajnalka from cohort would often remind us how to eat an elephant...one bite at a time. 

I have been finding my way in my new jobs. I have been able to make friends with the dog at the house of the new in-home client I am a companion with 3 days a week. I read my signed copy of "Joy, Inc" by Richard Sheridan as I walk Lucky, the dog, in the yard. I review my Toast Master requirements while we watch the Chew. Phone calls with clients or business networking are peppered all day. Dishes. Warm meals. Dishes. 

Patience. I tell myself. Sometimes hourly. I focus on the task at hand and type ideas into Google Keep. I just hope that I remember to even look at the list again now that I finally remember to write it down. 

An epiphany hit me on Saturday. I saw another free Dale Carnegie download on Fb. I saved it, just like I have others. Then...bling!! I can use this white paper for my Toast Master speeches. I can do all my Toast Master speeches on cultural development or employee training and do as Amber suggested and have my speeches video recorded. Then have them edited to a snippet for posting.  Self marketing.

Got a call from someone from Dale Carnegie today. We talked for 47 minutes on the phone. We are meeting tomorrow at Starbucks in Flint. Sarah sounds like a encouraging person. I need to keep wrapping myself with new people like her. 

News of a high school classmate who over dosed this weekend. Smart. Funny. Successful. Loved. A tragedy. This event keeps it all real. How far any of us get, are or had gotten to. Just doesn't seem to mean much in the whole scheme. I am clawing to survive and he was clawing to get out. Phewf.

Job postings visited today: 4

Jobs applied for today: 0

Interview offers/set today: 0

Successes for the day: I am on the green side today....I will take that as a positive.  

Yep. It was a lot. It was so little. This is what it is...499 days of searching for a job with a MBA in Flint. 

[dayssincembagraduation]

Day 494

Up early. Sun isn't even up. But MY son is. He is heading out on his first-solo-2 -our-drive. He is going for a competency test for a private welding school. He reports that he was up at 1 a.m. with a headache. I show empathy but hold my breath that he might bail on the days activities. But he doesn't. He eats the eggs I have prepared, takes more Tylenol and  heads out the door.

I head to work early. I am going to get myself a hot breakfast, since I cooked that last 3 eggs for "J". 2 miles down the road, forgot my massage table. Back to the house. Still time to get breakfast. First restaurant says their Debit Card machine is down. Hmm. This is a problem. I leave to across the street. They, too, say their machines are down. I am hungry. I had beans and rice for dinner last night. SERIOUSLY! I am hungry and know that I have at LEAST 2 clients to work on and my lunch is shortened by 30 minutes for a meeting. I go to McDonald's. I am disappointed but it is fine. I will at least eat. Their machines are working. They said that Charter announced that it would be hours before lines were repaired. 

I am in a "rounding-the-rim-of-the-rabbit-hole" kind of mood. I work hard to stay focused on the task at hand, working on the first client. Being in a good mood. Being positive. Which I do succeed in through out the morning of 3 in a row clients. 

The third client was slow to leave, putting my lunch to now 20 minutes. I race to my usual, go through the buffet once and head back to make my meeting. The meeting was with someone that helps with Medicare/Medicaid. I missed sending back needed paperwork for the new national health care program. I am so low income that my moving off the county health plan to the State health plan is an IMPROVEMENT! But going through all the questions is depressing. I loose my objectivity on the project and get frustrated. If I can only score work, I wouldn't have to be so violated by personal financial questions. I have to leave before we are done because its 2 pm now, 1 1/2 hours of my life is gone filling out this paperwork AGAIN!! I take the emotions, acknowledge them and decide to use the energy to focus on NEVER BEING HERE AGAIN!!

Next client was fine. Delightful actually. Turns out she is a clinical psychologist. We briefly discussed how hard many are having it. She expressed how much of a change in family dynamics there has been. Multi generational living and conflict there is added to the lack of employment.  I was relieved that I was not just imagining things and dwelling too much on my own situation. That THIS IS happening to many others. 

Stopped to get a sweet ice tea for my last client. Worked on her. I am a bit tired but all is good. I stay and visit. She is the mom of one of my best friends. I go to leave and the full body aches are back!!! What the heck. It has been months since I have felt this way. Ever since "He" left! Ugghh...no. I go to the store and the aches keep creeping on. By the time I arrive home, I can barely bring in the few things I bought.

I make an eclectic dinner after finding that the little dorm room refrigerator's freezer didn't keep the chicken frozen and now smelled awful. So much for enchiladas!

I sit with my son "J" for awhile in his room, watching a James Bond movie, not wanting to move. Wanting the Tylenol to start working. Then remember I have to move soon, a 7:30 call is coming in from Lake State. Someone there is working on a budget and asked for help.

Man I feel like crap as I walk to my room and boot up my lap top. I get the call, sign into Join Me and 2 hours of discussion ensued. A few passes through Fb, and glances at Gmail...yep another day looking for work with a MBA in Flint. 

[dayssincembagraduation]

Day 493

Tuesday morning. 9:10 a.m. The campus building is quiet other than the sound of cafe acoustics playing from Tim's office. I decide since I am on call today, that I better go for my walk now, because who knows if I will later. 

Michigan spring weather has taunted with us yet again. A balmy 48 degrees following a 79 degree yesterday. I zip up my sweat jacket and focus in on my meditation music ignoring the wind.

I start my self imposed "office time" today by folding 6 paper cranes while listening to "15 minutes of motivation and inspiration" on YouTube. My daily planner open and at the ready for any ideas, thoughts or must do tasks that might come along. Tim walks in, asks what I am doing. I show him the Granger product book that has been cut down to a 6x6 block of 2000+ pages by my son. I explain that in Dr. Henderson's BBA class of "Creativitiy", having some time set aside to do a craft or hobby, was a good exercise to get into. I was also aiming to fold 1000 Cranes and seeing if the ancient tale of a wish being granted was true or not. He asked, "how many have you folded?" 157. They are hung on thread in groups of 14 hanging in my room, was my response. We will see.

I opened several tabs on my lap top. The usual suspects, Fb, Gmail, LinkedIn, then off to the searching. After finding a few jobs that I shared with friends, I settled on the first two that fit my profile. I spent the next 3 hours filling out profile accounts, up loading, down loading, answering their questions. Hit "send". Sigh.

Then I focused on filling an app out at my college website for an adjunct instructor. This seems to go much smoother. I shoot of an email to one of my favorite Profs informing her that I have applied. Again, sigh.

The call comes in. My client is ready to be picked up. I hurry to pack my make shift office, tell Tim I am off and down to downtown Flint I go. I climb the stairs of an older building, wondering how she got up the stairs in the first place and how I was going to get her down. 

After a few minutes the secretary returns with my client. She is very pretty but I can tell she is tired. Being in a lawyers office doing depositions on the very reason you are there, with a caregiver would make you tired. I smile at her, tell her she looks great and that I am parked right outside. Her husband, a loving, attentive man, sees us to the elevator. Kissing his wife a second time, reassuring her that she did really well today and what ever comes of it, comes of it. I am touched at how well he cares for her. She giggles like a little girl at his closeness and kisses.

We slowly make our way out of the "NOT so handicap accessible" building. I offer to make her lunch and she is eager to go out to eat. Taco Bell is where she wants to go and "there is one by my house", she declares.  

After the meticulous order of getting out of the car, into the house and lunch is eaten, she lays for a rest on the couch. I sit on the other side of the room, reading my manual to Toast Masters, in between watching the day time talk shows. 

This IS physically an easy gig. It pays better than most in home care giving jobs. I am DAMN lucky to have scored it. I find that the emotion is a different story. I decide not to allow myself to dwell on it. Just keep focus on moving my career change search forward. 

I remind myself that I did make a connection today with the VP of the Ann Arbor SCORE chapter. He gave me a task of finding our new fledgling chapter some office space. I did. The NU Flint Campus. Negotiations are underway. Just like my app for adjunct was in and two job apps. And tonight, I would be at Toast Masters doing more things to move myself forward. 

Yep. It was a lot. It was so little. This is what it is...493 days of job searching...with an MBA.