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dax-enfinity · 16 days ago

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I Could Love You With My Eyes Closed

Nico Di Angelo x Ticci Toby

In a single quiet moment, Nico's mind drifts from misery to relief as he lies in his boyfriend's arms in the SlenderMansion he's come to call home. He notices the little things, remembering fondly many minute details.

This is basically just an excuse for me to bully Will Solace lol. Straight up Nicoby propaganda.

Fic is inspired by "Figure You Out" by Voila. Be sure to reblog, like, comment and all that jazz :)

Ao3 Link

It was a quiet, lazy morning in a mansion that saw very few of them. And one inhabitant in particular awoke to a mind more restless than he'd ever hoped to have.

Nico sighed. The ghost king had started his morning, staring up at an all-too familiar ceiling. His mind drifted back carelessly, darting towards memories he'd rather forget…

He was 14; it was a whole year before he'd met Toby, and his boyfriend at the time - one Will Solace - was probing to be… difficult with how distant Nico could often be.

“What-?”

An infuriated Will stared back at him, hands resting on his hips as if to make himself more imposing. Nico let out a shallow exhale.

“I'm… not ready to meet your mom yet,” he explained. “I don't… feel comfortable doing that.”

“Why not?”

It was a simple question. Why didn't he feel like meeting the woman that raised the man he thought he loved?

…well… it all felt just too…

…intimate. It was too intimate. Especially when they'd barely even been dating for four months.

“I just… think it's a big step,” he'd explained, his words hesitant and full of thought. “And… I'm not ready to take it yet. I… love that you are, but-”

“-but what? You don't think it's worth it?”

“No!” Nico yelped, trying to ease things over. Key word being, "trying". “I just… we haven't even had a year together yet, Will… we're still… figuring us out.”

The blonde groaned, dragging a single hand through his impossibly blonde hair.

“Gods, why are you so impossible, Nico-?” Will snapped. “I'm trying to be generous, trying to meet you halfway here, but you're not doing the same!”

Nico scoffed, his mouth parting as his face morphed to match how aghast he felt.

“Generous-? Generous?” He snapped back. “Will, our entire relationship has been you pushing me in directions I don't like, and me having to be the bad guy and tell you that I don't feel comfortable! How many times do I have to say that I'm not ready to do something, will it take for you to believe me-?”

Will was silent, seething as Nico's voice aired his constant discomfort.

“I mean, I've said multiple times now I don't like showing affection in public like that-! And… and, you just tell me to shut up, and… yeah, you laugh a little and… I take it, and I laugh too, and I know you care, but…”

Nico sighed, looking away guiltily.

“...I don't feel comfortable.”

Will's face furrowed into a scowl.

“So, what-? I'm just supposed to not be affectionate with you, is that what you want-?” Will asked, his voice raising.

“No, I-!”

“-I'm not allowed to kiss my boyfriend-?”

“-if you would just let me-”

“-then what's the point of us even being together-?!”

Nico's brows furrowed. His fist tightened, jaw clenching. He wasn't going to be spoken to like that; Nico knew exactly when to push back.

“...if that's how you feel…”

Will was taken aback.

“...what-?”

He'd paled considerably in a single second, eyes widening as realisation struck him. He'd made a mistake.

A big, fat mistake.

And he couldn't undo it.

“-If… if you don't see a point in us being together unless we're always sucking faces, then… then maybe you should just… leave!” Nico snapped, trying to gather together the messy, bubbling string of thoughts he'd been having. “Maybe we shouldn't be together, if it's such a big deal to you!”

Will's brow furrowed, the look of shock and disbelief across his face deepening. As if to scream wordlessly, “how dare you agree with a point I made and not beg me to stay by your side?”

Will was taken aback.

“...what-?”

He'd paled considerably in a single second, eyes widening as realisation struck him. He'd made a mistake.

A big, fat mistake.

And he couldn't undo it.

Will's brow furrowed, the look of shock and disbelief across his face deepening. As if to scream wordlessly, “how dare you agree with a point I made and not beg me to stay by your side?”

“Fine-” Will breathed out. “Enjoy being miserable by yourself!”

The door to his cabin slammed shut.

And the ghost King had broken down into tears just as he had when he was a nine year old boy.

…and then his mind drifted to warmer, more pleasant memories…

To Toby, who had been so… different. There wasn't that same pressure with Will for things to be this set way… they were going their own way, doing things in their own order, and…

…it all made sense.

Toby had been the first to offer Nico intimacy; and unlike Will, he didn't expect it to be given back.

He'd handed Nico a messily wrapped package, and…

“What is…”

He peeled back the paper, revealing…

“...mythomagic pajamas-?” Nico asked, raising a brow.

Toby shrugged. He gave him a boyish smile, his face as warm as a campfire and his hair just as wild.

“Yeah. I just thought since… y'know, you're… always staying over in my room, it'd be nice to have something… here, that way, you can… that way, the option to stay the night is always on offer…”

The brunette in front of him started twitching, rambling in an attempt to explain himself.

“-only if you want to,” he added, hesitantly fidgeting with anything he could; he ruffled his hair, messed with the cuffs of his sleeves, even pulled on the drawstrings of his hoodie. “-I just want you to be okay if you ever, y'know-”

It was cute…

“-Toby.”

Nico cupped his cheek softly, forcing Toby to look at him. He hummed, leaning into Nico's cool palm like an overly affectionate kitten.

Nico chuckled softly.

“Thanks…”

“No probs, Spoop…”

…it was all easy from there (mostly).

Lazy Sunday mornings spent cuddled together beneath warm blankets, and… sweet praise meant for nobody but each other that only they could hear.

Toby knew Nico didn't like giant displays of affection in public; he knew Nico wasn't clingy in front of people. But he also knew that Nico liked knowing he was there.

Easy solution?

Their pinkies, linked together as they walked side by side. A reminder of their connection, a physical touch as subtle as a whisper between them.

A silver chain was found around Nico's neck as he lay between soft cotton sheets. He chuckled softly, pressing the small silver skull ring attached to it to his lips.

That, too, had a complicated history to it.

His sister had given him it as a present; a consolation for the years he spent mourning her.

Back in the days when Will was… around, he'd heard him explain the pain behind the ring; sharing Nico's misery with people who he didn’t ask him to, people who looked at him with pity despite never even meeting them. And it sucked.

But Toby…

“Seriously, dude… why does that crappy ring mean so much to him?” Jeff had snapped.

He'd accidentally broken the ring after being too rough when messing around with (and being an all-around dick head to) Nico.

Toby huffed, rolling his eyes. He hated having to play the role of an overprotective boyfriend, but he knew that Nico was torn up over the ring; he knew the tragedy behind it, and he knew that Nico didn't want to spill it to earn pity points.

“It's not my story to tell, Jackass!” He snapped back, his voice crackling like embers. “But it's important to him, and that should be enough! Got that, slit lips?”

Jeff groaned. But Toby wasn't relenting. He kept up the intimidation. Eventually, it caused him to give up.

“...fine,” Jeff seceded. “I'll… apologise to him or whatever…”

And… he did.

It helped… somewhat, having someone in his corner like that.

…but it still didn't fix his ring.

Toby held onto it after the accident; he'd been keeping it safe, hoping to get it fixed and refitted. At least, that's what Nico thought he was going to do.

But Toby…

Toby was always full of surprises.

It had started with a cuddle; Toby's arms wrapped around him from behind in a surprising display of unexpected public affection.

He didn't know why; Toby knew his limits, he knew what he was comfortable with. Which was why it was an out of character (but not unwelcome) surprise.

“Babe-?” Nico asked, chuckling softly. "Toby, what's gotten into-?"

“Hold still-!” Toby teased, fiddling with something at the back of his neck. “And… and keep your eyes closed!”

“What-?”

“Close ‘em!” Toby ordered, and Nico obeyed with a small chuckle escaping him.

He couldn't help his laughter picking up. But… he also felt something resting against his throat. Something… metal, cold…

“-aaand… done!”

He looked down, his eyes furrowing at the sight of something all too familiar.

“Is that-?”

Toby nodded.

“I, uh… I got a little chain, and… y'know, that way, you… you can keep your ring, close to your heart, since… It means so much to you.”

Nico's gaze had softened considerably. And he'd thrown his arms around the taller young man in excitement - completely forgetting his usual hangups about such bold, extravagant displays of physical affection.

“-thank you-” Nico mumbled against Toby's lips.

And what did his boyfriend do in return?

Toby had kissed him back until he'd felt foolish and giddy, giggling softly with a blush across his face.

But that was a good few years ago, and he was older now; 24 to Toby's 25

“Hey…” Toby whispered, his arm wrapped lazily around Nico's waist. “You… okay?”

Nico shrugged. He wasn't much of a talker in the mornings and Toby knew it well enough by now.

“I'm not… too close, am I-?” He asked. “You… don't mind me cuddling you like this, do you-? Because I can-”

“-mmm, I'm fine…” Nico mumbled, his hand resting on top of Toby's.

They're quiet for a moment, neither really too sure of what to say to the other.

“...you're thinking about him, aren't you?” Toby whispered, his shaky voice breaking the silence.

Nico hummed, tilting his head.

“Who-?”

“That… Will guy.”

Ah. Shit…

He'd been found out.

“You always get kinda tense when you think about him…” Toby explained, his touch warming Nico up significantly as he pulled him to his chest, his face buried in Nico's dark hair.

They were quiet, their breaths the only sound in the room, the only things that mattered in the world.

And then:

“Why do you love me so much?” Nico asked, heat rising to his cheeks.

The brunette lying in front of him chuckled, their foreheads resting together.

It was quite common for Nico to propose questions like this in the early hours of the day as they were both half asleep. As if it was easier to answer any insecurities he had while they were struggling to stay awake.

“What, it isn't obvious?”

Nico shook his head. It quite clearly wasn't. Not to him, at least.

“You're just so… easy to love,” Toby murmured, his breath fanning across Nico's cool skin. He peppered the area in soft kisses between his sickly sweet, sticky praise. “I swear, I could love you with my eyes closed. I've got you all figured out, Spoop…”

Nico chuckled softly, squirming in Toby's arms. He rolled to his other side, his eyes meeting the other's.

Nico studied every feature of Toby's face; his honey brown eyes, his skin - so much warmer, now than it had been -, his features all gorgeous in a way that seemed carved, molded just for Nico's enjoyment.

He sighed softly, taking a gentle breath.

“Marry me?” Nico asked, his voice still soaked with sleep.

Toby hummed, trying to blink away his exhaustion. His face scrunched up tight, and he attempted to wipe the confusion from his expression.

“What?”

“Marry me,” he whispered back. “Marry me, Tobes.”

It wasn't flashy; it wasn't dramatic or fancy or big, but it was an offer, an invitation of eternity and intimacy. And it was theirs.

Toby nodded, snuggling into him.

“I will,” he murmured, pulling Nico as close as he physically could.

#OH MY GOD I NEED TO READ THID I JUET GOT BACK HOME AND #GOT THE EMAIL NOTIFICATION FROM AO3 I GOTTA READ IT NOWW #nicoby

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