dawntoribio - Tumblr blog

[dawntoribio]

This is the first part of the series where I will be talking about my birth and the struggles and positive experiences I’ve had with my family that served as valuable lessons for me to bring as I journey in life.

“By the grace of God, I am what I am.” 1 Corinthians 25:10

THE DAY I WAS BORN

My full name is Dawn Sayo Toribio, and my dad told me that I was named after the Dawn Service at our Church and also after an American Missionary named Dawn who was close with my Mom and my Dad. I was born on February 1, 1999, on Monday at 9 am in the Morning, at Mary Johnston’s Hospital in Tondo Manila.  

MY PARENTS

My Father is Ephraim R. Toribio, and he works as a Senior Pastor of New Century Church, an independent Church in Los Baños, Laguna. While My Mother is Deborah S. Toribio, a Social Worker, and is currently working as the Country Director of Food for the Hungry Philippines.

MY SIBLINGS 

I have two other siblings, an older brother, and a younger sister and I’m a middle child. My older brother is Psalm S. Toribio, and he is already 21 years old. While my younger sister is named Praise S. Toribio, and she is 18 years old.

MY GROWING YEARS

I grew up in the small province of Los Banos in Laguna, and I can say that I had a simple childhood. My dad is a full-time pastor and my mom being involved in community work and is also active in the church as a Sunday school teacher and growing as a Church choir member, I can say that I really grew up in a very Christian family and community, to add to this, our house was situated just at the back of our Church. I was being nurtured with Christian values every day not just at home through our daily devotions but also in school, for I studied in a Christian School during both my elementary and high school years, and ever since I went to school I was already trained through Christian learning and education, It was only during my College years that I went to a Catholic School, but during my almost four-year stay at the university, I can say that nothing much has really changed, it is somehow still the same as I continue to learn spiritually and know more values in which I can use in deepening my faith and strengthening my Christian faith. 

MY EXPERIENCES

As I was growing up, I was surrounded by a lot of people who I can say that had a great influence on my life. I started school when I was 3 years old, and as a very shy child I only got to have a few friends since I don’t usually talk to other kids at school as I was scared that they will try to bully me or something since I somehow had the experience of a boy in my class who always teases me and follows me around everywhere in school, but I was active in singing and dance performances and I will always join and perform during school events and programs. But moving to Manila during my high school years, I was 11 at that time, it opened me to a new environment that somehow brought me out of my comfort zone. I excel more in academics, and I’ve been more active in school extra-curricular activities. Also, I met some people that were a bit too loud for my personality, but I eventually understood how people from different places possess different values and upbringing. Manila is different from Laguna, and I have to accept that. It was difficult at first, as I remember that on my first day in high school I chose to sit at the back and not interact with the kids around me, but eventually, I learned to adjust and love the place where I am and the people I’m with. In high school I’ve gained a lot of friends and experiences and one is that during these years I experienced being courted by some boys which is kind of new for me since I’m very much not open with the idea of love as it is making me cringe and I will try to distance myself from them, and I never really had a crush like other teenage girls do. College came by fast, and I really didn’t have a plan of what course to take, but UST was really my dream school, so it was the only school I took the exam in which is kind of risky. Also, I don’t really remember how I came across Asian Studies, I think it was suggested by someone I know but I was so drawn to the course that it became my first choice and sociology for the second. I was really glad and grateful for the Lord that I got in since it led me to where I am right now. College for me was the most memorable and the most unforgettable since it gave me a glimpse of what the world really is outside of what I think the world is. I gained more friends, who I can say thought me valuable lessons and people who I can really treasure for a lifetime. I also joined different organizations like Chorale and Scarlet. Also, it was during college that I had my first real crush, but unfortunately he doesn’t really know me which is a little funny since I was just a stalker, and I know it’s a little creepy, but he was just so mysterious and the silent-type of guy and I would love to know him better if I had the opportunity, but only as friends of course.  Also, about this love life the youth is always talking about, people sometimes are surprised that I’ve never had an experience of having a boyfriend and will ask me why since both my siblings already had their share of experiences, but It’s more surprising for me that it’s surprising for them because I’m young, I’m 19 and its as if having a boyfriend is a requirement. I think youth nowadays are so drawn to the idea of love and romance and is rushing to be in a relationship, but personally, I value relationships very much that I don’t want to rush on things that are not permanent as I believe it will just be a waste of my time. I really want my first to be the last, so I’m patient enough to wait for the right time God will give me my other half since I know that when that day comes It will be very worth it. I also gave a promise to my parents that I’ll finish my studies first before having a relationship since I want first to give back all their sacrifices for me, even if I know it won’t be enough, I just really want to make them proud and happy. Also, I want first to improve and invest in myself and to really enjoy my freedom before thinking about the responsibilities that come with being committed to someone. It may be something they now consider as “manang”, but I don’t really mind since It’s what I believe that would be best for me. This is just some of my personal experiences, and I can’t wait to experience more as I journey through life.

I can say that I’m truly blessed with the life and the family God has given me. I’m one of those few people who were blessed enough to have that opportunity in knowing God ever since the time I was born, and gradually deepen my relationship with Him as I grow up for I was shaped and influenced by the community and the environment I was in. I even asked my father one time why I wasn’t like those people who have touching stories of a changed life because of God, as they somehow have this kind of epiphany that when they got to meet Jesus, their lives were transformed, but my father told me that I should be more grateful that I don’t have to go through that kind of darkness just to know God and thank the Lord that I was one of those blessed enough to know him earlier in my life, and know as I grow up I’m starting to understand why.

THE STRUGGLES 

However, that kind of life is not always rainbows and sunshine. For me, it still has some of its struggles and downside, especially during my childhood years. Both my parents are working as a part of the community, and as a part of their job and their service to the community is that they also need to consider the well-fare of others, and they have to lend their time for their mission. I sometimes think that it is becoming a struggle for us at some points because My father and my mother’s mission are also both in different places. My mom is working here in Manila, while my dad’s mission and I and my siblings’ life are used to living in Laguna so My mom would have to commute and travel all the way from Manila to Laguna every day which is becoming difficult for her, but she continues to endure. Also sometime in our life, the Church’s struggle is also becoming our struggle and our family has to bear with it since my Dad is the Senior Pastor and it is his duty as a servant of God. Lastly, what I somehow struggled the most was the pressure of always being good since my parents have this certain image as servant leaders. We were expected to always do the same things as them, and it wasn’t really wrong and bad, but the constant pressure of meeting their expectations to not disappoint them is always there so I’m sometimes afraid to make mistakes. But Innocence is a bliss, and as I understand things I’m starting to appreciate more the family that I have even with the constant struggles and problems we are faced with. We became much stronger as a family since God has been with us all through our ups and downs and as I have said we weren’t really a perfect family, but I can say that we are happy and contented and that it is all because of God’s blessings and graces.  

[dawntoribio]

This is the second part of the series where I would be talking about my family, starting with the love story of my parents that led to their marriage, how they build their own family, the things we did together, and a brief description of our family. Basically, this is somehow discovering the journey of how we have come together as a family and how God has blessed us through it.

“As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua 24:15

MEETING OF MY PARENTS

I was always fascinated with how my mother and my father’s love story have flourished, and everything that happened to them was really an example of God’s perfect timing. My mom actually gave me a memories book where she narrated how she and my dad met for the first time. So my Dad lives in Paete Laguna, and My mom lives in Tondo Manila two places far away from each other, so it is very unlikely that they would meet. My mom said that it was the most unexpected place and moment since it was also in her lowest moments that he met my dad. It was during the time when she and a co-worker of her who she calls Mommy Elsa were sued at a Barangay hall in San Antonio, Los Baños Laguna by one of their dismissed staff. She was surprised by my father’s interruption and the way my dad defended him there even if he still didn’t know her during that time. My mom got confused, and she said that her mind was full of questions about who that man is, but later on found out that he is the pastor of Los Baños UMC, a church that is a few meters away from the Barangay Hall.  They got to know each other more through community works, and my father finally decided to pursue my mom and that he even went all the way from Laguna to Manila to surprise my mom and meet her family in the city even if he almost got lost in the way since it was actually his first time going in Manila. My father’s side of the story was that he was mesmerized by my mother’s beauty, so he immediately helped her, which got me laughing on the floor for it was so cheesy. It was even an unfortunate time since my father has a stalker during that time which keeps on nagging him and even threatened my mom, but all is well in the end. Their courting and relationship stage wasn’t that long since they both came to a mutual decision of settling down and having a family of their own. 

MARRIAGE

They immediately got married during the same year, since they are already both 35 years old which is not the usual marrying age especially for a woman since it will be harder to bear a child, but they were already both stable and ready in building a family together. My mom believed that his union with my father is pre-destined by the Lord, as she said that their lives complement each other. She is very grateful for the Lord since my father is a man of God and her being a social worker and my dad being a pastor, they both have the same faith and that they have the same purpose of working together for God’s glory and Honor. So they got married on May 25, 1996, at Central UMC in Ermita Manila, and everyone in their family was present during that special day. Their Wedding was a simple ceremony, and only their closest friends and families were present during the event. After their Wedding, they went on a vacation in a resort named Coco Beach in Puerto Galera.

CHILDREN

Many believed that I and my other two siblings’ birth was somehow a miracle and a blessing for my mom and dad since my Mom is already 35 when they got married so it will be much harder for her to bear a child. All the three of us were born through the caesarian procedure which is difficult for my mom since its more dangerous than natural birth. But thankfully she was able to endure it thrice for almost three consecutive years. My brother was born on July 20, the year 1997 which is a two-year gap before me and my younger sister was born on February 7, 2000, which is a one-year gap after I was born. It was really a blessing for both my parents since God still gave them three children even if it seemed impossible, and I thank God for helping my mom in passing through that challenging stage of giving birth to us three. I and my two other siblings were all baptized in a Christian church when we were all at the age of 1. And after every ceremony, they always choose to celebrate it at Max’s restaurant and we don’t even know why, but I guess it was just their favorite restaurant. I and my sister were again baptized during our church’s anniversary in the year 2015 where they conduct water baptism annually, I was 16 at that time and my sister was 15, it was only me and my younger sister Praise since my older brother, Psalm got baptized the last year 2013. It was actually my father who baptized us, and it was really fulfilling since I felt how God has been good to me and how I’m strengthening my faith in him through this kind of baptism, and that it was actually liberating since It was my own decision to be baptized again as a Christian and a sign that I’m accepting Jesus as my Personal Lord and Savior.

BONDING AND CELEBRATIONS

My Family is very fond of celebrations, so we always go out to eat, swim, and just simply bond out together. We would also invite some people over during birthdays, and we also like to visit some relatives such as my grandparents especially during the Holiday Season. We weren’t really perfect, there are conflicts and arguments here and there but I can say that it never reaches the point we were almost close to falling apart because God’s love has always been the center of our family, so as I was growing up, I never really had that fear that we’ll somehow be broken and be separated, and I even never knew that concept of a broken family just until it was somehow thought to me when I was older enough to understand it. I truly believe that we as a family have grown fruitful since God is in the center of our lives, not just as a family but also to us personally and individually. There are love and understanding which is I think are key factors in having a stable family life, which I think is present within our family.

FAMILY TREE

Above is a slight illustration of my family tree and some pictures of my parents’ side of the family.  it wasn’t that extensive since both my grandfathers are already dead, and I’m away from my grandmother and my parents don’t really remember much about the past. If I would compare both my parents’ side, also based on my experiences with the two, I can say that my mother’s side is much more closely knitted than on my father’s side. Most of my dad’s siblings already resides abroad, and I’m much closer with my mother’s side of the family since I constantly see them, and I relate more with my cousins on the mother side since we almost have the same age than the age gaps compared with my father’s side of the family.  There aren’t any particular genetic conditions present in both sides of the family, and sometimes it is usually a result of an unhealthy lifestyle rather than something as a hereditary disease that is passed on unto the generations.

So this is my family, and I’m super blessed to have them.

[dawntoribio]

This is the third part of the series where I would be talking about what I’m looking forward to in the future about the person I want to become, the family I would want to have, and how I’m going to live the rest of my life as I serve my purpose for the Lord.

“She is clothed with strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.” Proverbs 31:25

THE PERSON I WILL MARRY 

(the first picture is Donny Pangilinan, and the one below it is my picture with him)

Even if I haven’t had any experiences with relationships, I somehow have an idea of what kind of man I want to be with, in the future. There’s this certain Filipino celebrity named Donny Pangilinan which I really admire since he possesses some of the things I look for in a man, which is God-fearing, caring, and is not afraid to show affection especially to his mom and sisters, and he is very compassionate and strives to work hard in reaching for his dreams. These are some of the characteristics that I’m looking for in the man I would like to marry (or if God will even allow, the man I will marry in the future can be Donny Pangilinan himself haha kidding but why not). The person I would like to marry is most importantly someone who is God-fearing, and I really want someone who has the same faith as me because I think the right kind of love, trust, and respect will come when a man fears the Lord. I want someone who will somehow possess the 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 kind of love the Apostle Paul has shared with us. However, it is really a bonus for me if God will give me a guy who has a nice voice like my father because I really want a man who will sing for me, but I will wholeheartedly love that someone God has destined for me. I would want to get married maybe at the age of 30 because I want to be prepared enough in being a good wife to my husband and a good mother to my children. What I pray for is stability, not just financially but also stability in the inside, especially the heart because I want to be 101% ready and sure before I fully commit to something such as marriage.

Just an addition:

I would like to get married just like how my mom and dad have settled down in the right place, at the right time, with the right person. 

A bonus coincidental picture of me and my mom during her wedding day and me during my junior prom which I accidentally saw while doing this project, a very uncanny resemblance. I now have an idea of what I will look like in my future wedding hahaha  

THE PERSON I HAVE BECOME

Thinking about the future, I’m really scared of what will happen to me, but I know I should just trust God for what He has planned for my life as what Jeremiah 29:11 have promised. I want to be successful in a way that it can’t be measured by the material things I own, but the genuine happiness I have with my family and with myself. I really hope to be the person I won’t be disappointed and having regrets with. I want to be the person I never knew I could be, and I’ll be that person God wants me to be.

THE CHILDREN

I want to have two or maybe three? children in the future, I don’t really know yet but that would be my Ideal number for children because I think I also need to consult my husband regarding that matter. Also as much as I would want twins, I’ll be blessed to have what God will be giving me and I promise to love them unconditionally. Also, the order I would want is the first one to be a boy, then a girl with 3-5 year spacing between. Personally, I want to give the baby’s name at the same time he or she will be born, because I once read an article that you will know exactly what name would suit your baby if you already see him/her, and again I would want to consult my husband for this matter. But some ideas I would want is Hallelujah for the boy, and his nickname will be Halle (it will be pronounced as ha-le and not hail) or Hallel, and for the girl, I want to name her Diamond because I know she will shine brightly just like a diamond. I would want my son to be just like his dad, and my daughter to be just like me, just as I am like my mom. I will also enroll them in language classes and music classes or anything they are passionate about as early as possible, because right now I really wished my parents enrolled me in a language and music classes when I was a child because I see it as an advantage, something that is very useful in life, and something good to invest in for the future. I want them to also be trained and equipped with the Christian values just like how I was nurtured, and I want them to accept Jesus personally on their own free will and not because they were asked to do so but because they have a deep and personal relationship with God. I will support them in anything that they want as long as its good for them and will not harm their well-being.

FAMILY RULES

I will emulate the same family rules we currently have for my future family to follow. And some of these rules will be:

Devotion every night

Attending Church every Sunday

Pray before eating

We will always eat at the same time (As what my dad always

Use “po” and “opo” to the elderly

Doing even small house chores like feeding the dog, fixing the bed, etc.

Ask for what you need, but save for what you want

But then again as I have been mentioning earlier, I’ll also ask my husband what he would want to add to our family rules and what he wants to implement.

MIDLIFE PLANS 

For my midlife plans, I plan to travel the world with my husband. I want to discover and go to different places and experience different cultures before I die. I will apply for Phil health to lessen the burden if any of us got sick and needs medical attention. However, I’ll also think about it if I’m still going to apply in Pagibig House since my parents had a bad experience from them. I will also somehow plan on investing and saving up for my Children’s college funds as early as possible since it will be the most difficult and expensive. I will also just believe and have faith in God’s graces and pray that he wouldn’t put us in a situation that we can’t handle and endure. 

OLD AGE AND RETIREMENT PLAN 

As I retire, for a few years I would want to travel with my husband to a lot of places where it’s just the two of us, enjoying what we might have missed until we exhaust our energy. And after doing so, when we can’t do such things anymore and we are old enough incapable of traveling, I want to settle in a country farm or just a peaceful and quiet place, someplace close to nature and not in the city with my husband also somewhere near where my Children can visit us. I don’t want a tragic death, and If God will allow I want to die out of old age, just naturally because I don’t want to be suffering from a kind of disease. I’d somehow rather die earlier than experience such tragic illnesses.

LAST WILL

For the assets I will be leaving here on earth, I want to give 10% to our Church since It has been a great part of who I became as a person. And all that will be left shall be divided between my two children and they will be the inheritors of everything I own. My daughter will also be the one to manage the Café business I will be leaving, and for my son to utilize the farm we have. I also want for them to continue donating in charitable institutions like Food for the Hungry Philippines where my mom worked since they are an extension of help to those people who are in need.

For my Living will use my body in any way it could help other people and for my family not to spend too much money on resurrecting me. If its God’s will that I die, there is no need for any other medical procedures and let me be.

LAST TESTAMENT

To my Husband, I’ve accomplished something I have promised in our vows which is loving you till death do us part. Know that I’ll continue to love you and until we meet again in heaven and even in our next lifetime. Thank you for being a part of my journey here on earth, you have been a great companion and I wouldn’t ask for anyone else.  And remember that our love is like the wind, you may not really see it, but you will always feel it. Know that I’m happy from where I am right now so please be too, I love you very much.

To my children, you have brought joy to our life ever since the day you were born for you were a really great blessing from the Lord. You’ve made me proud with what you both have become. Know that I’ll always love you and I’ll be watching you from above. My time here on earth is finished, but my love for you will never end. Continue to grow with your Christian faith and know that I’ll be happy with where I’m headed to. I love you so much.

To my relatives and friends, thank you for being a part of my life and days here on earth. Know that I’m truly blessed to know each one of you. I hope that my life has also become a blessing to all of you. Know that I’m happy with where I am right now. I love you all very much.

OBITUARY

I want a simple obituary, which I based from Proverbs 31

“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

Dawn Sayo Toribio, was a woman of faith and her passing away has brought grief to her family, and we’ll remember her with all the good things she has done, and her memories left here on earth. She is clothed with strength and dignity, she laughs at the days that come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks.

Her children, Hallelujah and Diamond Pangilinan arise and call her blessed, her husband also, Donny Pangilinan (haha just this time), praises her. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value as she brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.

Many women do noble things, but she has surpassed them all. Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman like her who fears the LORD is to be praised. Honor her for all that her hands have done, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”

EPITAPH

For my Epitaph I just want it to be simple and what I would want is the verse Matthew 25:21 that says “His Lord said to her, well done, a good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.”

[dawntoribio]