dawnchloelle

[dawnchloelle]

Traumatic

Exactly one week ago, I experienced the scariest thing in my life thus far. Around 3am on Sunday night (according to my mother), my heart started clenching and unclenching, I couldn’t breathe and was gasping for air, my arms were going numb with every clench, I felt like I was going to faint, and was feeling simultaneously hot and cold.

I was in my room when it happened and was so scared I was literally going to die alone in my room, I rushed to my parents’ room in panic.

Parents started frantically praying for me (as devout Christian parents do) and getting dressed to bring me to the hospital where I was warded with a 38.4º fever. After an ECG scan and an X-Ray, the doctors said that there were abnormalities in my heart rate/beat(?), as well as a haziness at the bottom of my lungs.

They then deduced that I could be having a potential lung infection and immediately warded me in an isolation room in their pneumonia ward. #Covid-19

Thankfully after two days in the isolation room, two blood tests, two negative Covid-19 swab tests and another X-Ray, I was cleared and discharged from the hospital – though I am to go back for checks on my heart in due time.

I will never forget how it felt to think that I could possibly be dying, that my heart would stop at any moment. Was that my life flashing before my eyes and all the people I loved? The fear was and is real, and it’s been making me extra anxious since. 

Confronting fears of dying and death is something I seem to be doing in my mind at random windows of time when I am alone regularly these days. Every time it happens, my heart clenches up and I can’t breathe all over again. When this happens, I try to zone out and meditate, or I try to think of positive things, and then my heart slowly stops clenching and I can start breathing easy again.

I always thought that I was naturally optimistic and positive. This incident showed me I’m not as strong as I thought I was. It’s been a week and I’m still traumatised. 

Regardless, journaling this down so I remember this. I also hope that optimism will win, and that I can build durable and steadfast emotional and mental strength from here on.

:’(

[dawnchloelle]

What feels like freedom?

We were very indecisive when it came to our recent weekend trip to Melaka, and the decision to go was made a solid 3 hours before we set off.

I booked our hotel at 5pm, we got off work at 6pm, and left home by 8pm. 

The fear was riding from Singapore to Melaka in the middle of the night, who knew if we’d get into an accident or get robbed. (Most generally do this at 6-8am in the morning!)

Riding there went (almost) without a hitch, ‘cept that Nemo kinda went into a ditch. Thanks to the three kind strangers who helped lift/pull the bike out of the ditch, we made our way in. Stopped for cigarettes, drinks and snacks, and rode 1.5 hours to the first R&R. Took a break with some yummy Kundang (fruit from Thailand that tastes a little like mango) and set off for another 40mins before we finally reached our hotel.

Checked in, got a free upgrade to an executive suite, and headed out in search for dinner at 1am.

Headed back to our hotel and spent time together before calling it a night.

The next day, E woke up bright and early, literally jumping out of bed thanks to that dratted bell sounding through the city. We packed up, got ready for the day and checked out.

Freedom feels like riding around Melaka with not a care in the world, stopping wherever we (i) wished. Local art stores, architecture museums, famous local food spots, random dress store, E’s highly anticipated chendol fix, the works.

Rode 2.5 hours back to JB during which we were drizzled on, stopped at a couple of R&Rs, enjoyed some delightful wind rash, and finally... Stumbled on a cute cafe in JB I’d coincidentally found online a month ago.

Got us some signature rice bowls and a DEEElicious mango souffle pancake  before making our way back home to Singapore by 8pm.

24 hours of freedom and achievement unlocked.

[dawnchloelle]

❤.❤

[dawnchloelle]

Aftergl♡w

Glowing stars up above and down below

Shimmering sparkling turquoise waters

Never-ending ocean breezes

Sand in our toes (and everywhere else)

Laughter, content, Thai chili crab

Pad Thai, Chang soda water

Snickers, long hippie dresses

Motorbike sidecars, kayaks, snorkelling

Hiking, glorious views

Quiet and intimate moments

A question

An answer

♡♡♡

[dawnchloelle]

The grass is always greener on the other side -_-

archive mb for @vyssja

[dawnchloelle]

Rie Rasmussen, Vogue Paris by Enrique Badulescu

[dawnchloelle]

I

am barely there.

Sometimes, sometimes not so much.

[dawnchloelle]

“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.”

[dawnchloelle]

In

a little constant giggle party of my own. E always asks why I’m laughing at him. No I’m not laughing at you, I’m just laughing.

Best medicine.

[dawnchloelle]

Build

a bridge, and get over it.

You have always had what you need.

[dawnchloelle]

Leadershit

It’s a lifelong journey and I’d forgotten the John C. Maxwell-ness of it all.

Leadershit —> leadership

Leaders get so much flak (and crap), but it’s ultimately that which enables them to grow and stretch like a rubberband.

Penning down 2 recent experiences for me to look back on – contrary to the first experience (and subsequent bullets), the second experience has been far more enjoyable and might I add, satisfying too.

It truly is all about the passion/fulfilment. Without it, I am nothing.

X

[dawnchloelle]

Nothing can dim the light which shines from within

[dawnchloelle]

Work in Progress

Make plans to make plans happen.

Every failure presents an opportunity to learn.

Delegate, delegate, delegate.

Ensure every handshake moment.

A promise made is a promise kept.

-S.N.A.P- or not.

[dawnchloelle]

Under the sea, under the seaaa💧

[dawnchloelle]

[dawnchloelle]

Snorkel Snorkel

Is it possible to fall in love with the ocean all over again?

As a kid, I loooooved being at the beach, picking up seashells, swimming in the sea (or swimming pool) – but as an adult, reading all the news about flesh-eating bacteria, sharks, etc just scared me off jumping into foreign bodies of water.

It looks like my trip to Koh Lipe has cured me of all that adult fear nonsense.

The most beautiful things I saw under the ocean were the sea urchins. Whodathunk?! They’re not just plain black with spikes. 

They have glowing white ‘stars’ around that tubular ‘head’ (it’s not a head, it’s their ASS – here’s how a sea urchin poops), and spotted with glowing blue lights too.

And corals as big as sofas looking exactly like the kinda thing you’d imagine a mermaid to have in her living room under da sea. My goodness. I’d rather live down there than up here with toxic humanity.

[dawnchloelle]

Hunny

It’s gonna be a real busy 2019, flying every month to different places.

I still love where I am in life. *.*