dawn-loretta

[dawn-loretta]

After it’s all said and done !

The prospects of having to return back to Birmingham after uni somewhat scares me and stresses me, it’s the thought of what happens next what do it do next-where do I go from here …

My mind is running on so many things in and out of jobs and what my next possible move in life should or could be. I don’t want to fall into bad habits and become lazy, I suffered with depression throughout my first and second year of uni and the fear of falling back into that place kinda scares me to … I always try to remain positive.

Imagine I’ve spent 3 whole years at university doing a degree I didn’t want to do and only figuring that out half way through the course. I thought about leaving and doing something else but I actually don’t know what I wanna do, I didn’t want to  leave because I was scared,I had already gone to university slightly later than most! So now I’m 23 about to graduate with a degree in a profession I want nothing to do with, oh dear where do I go from here, I honestly don’t know.

I felt lead to write this post as I know so many people feeling this way and experiencing what I am feeling. I first of all want to let you guys know you are. not on your own! But I also think it’s important to be proactive in developing yourself to help figure out what it is you want to do.

I know for some this might be hard as some of us are still finding ourselves. To be quite honest I am 23 years old and the person I was when I started university I am not that same person and I can hand on heart admit that I am still finding myself and I’m not ashamed to admit that ,the society we live in deem it as bad to not know who you are, to be quite frank i’d rather have this struggle in my 20s than get to the age of 40 and still be finding myself.

Being a 90s baby I grew up in a society where I was told sky is the limit and you can do whatever you want.  That vast amount of choice is somewhat daunting to me call me crazy but how can you pick and choose what you want to do for the rest of your life when some of us can barely decide on what to wear on a daily basis! I mean this adult life is not something I have bargained for . It looked so easy when I was 12 and all I had to think about was saving 20p to be able to buy 2 freddo’s after school. Now I have pay bills and be a student and work and after that I’ve got to get a job *sigh

I say all of this to be real, the reality is I haven’t got it all together I’m a bit of a mess really somewhat all over the place a bit out of sorts lol! , the most sure thing I have in my life is my complete Belief,Faith and trust in God. I’m probably stressing because the plans I had for my life at 23 are not quite happening. I think a great piece of advice I could probably give is to just chill and breathe first of all, remind yourself you have just done a full time or part time degree and that it is okay to not have it all figured out-which is something I have had to say to myself, next I would say maybe go travelling and it doesn’t have to be to a next  country it Could just be around England (or your country) your city take pictures lots of pictures make memories keep a diary , find a hobby or do more of the things you like doing , document every single moment if you can. Keep yourself active that is very important..

What am I gonna do with my life for now then?

 well I am ultimately just going to Trust in God first and foremost , then I’m going to right more poetry and explore the city of London and take lots of pictures before I return to Birmingham.

Guys whatever you do don’t give up on yourself,Hold your head up high and remain positive. Everything will work out and give yourself some credit you made it through university no matter what grade you have got.

Congratulations to all my graduates of 2017 and graduates of the future

Dawnii Divine 

[dawn-loretta]

Ain’t no “thang” but a Chicken Wing

Hey Guys Welcome Back to my blog,I have been receiving quite a few messages regarding transitioning from chemically treated hair to natural hair and also about how to maintain your hair and keep it nice and healthy.

So you’ve decided to grow out your relaxer  ‘Love it’ .Though I did not go through this process as I have always been natural, I had to go through the process of repairing my hair as it was badly damaged from heat-the majority of my hair was straight and  my hair was in poor condition. So I was transitioning into having healthier hair-I had to repair the damaged parts of my hair. Some of you may opt for the big chop which is always great but it is not for everybody, some want to grow out their relaxer.

I don’t know what to do with my hair….

Not knowing what to do with your hair is horrible,literally one of my worst nightmares! It is even worse when you are going through this transition stage. Some of you may opt for Bantu knots or the use of perm rods, which I highly recommend as one of the best hair styles for transitioning because it tucks in all the straight/relaxed and damaged-ends. These styles mask your damaged and relaxed parts really well. Sometimes it’s a bit harder with a twist out as you can see the damaged and relaxed hair.

There are so many great and alternative styles to help you through your transitioning process.Whilst on your journey to natural hair it is important that you are growing healthy natural hair ‘just because its natural don’t mean its healthy’.I would encourage protective hairstyles such as; box braids crochet braids, cainrows/cornrows and Havana twists. I would also say make sure in-between braids you are treating and trimming/cutting your hair , always give your hair relevant intervals from extensions and braiding hair as this can sometimes be damaging on the hair and hairline.This process, this amazing journey is about growing healthy and natural hair so i’m not going to leave anything out i’m going to tell you everything I can and everything I know.There is absolutely no point in growing unhealthy hair with scraggly split ends, I was taught to have a trim every six weeks-I’ve done some research ,some say every 12-16 weeks or 10-12 weeks but I think you should be true and honest to yourself,take a look at your hair and trim when you think it is necessary and keep it within the 12 week time frame . This is because throughout this journey you are constantly doing stuff to your hair like; brushing, combing , pulling , twisting and plaiting which can cause tension. This more than likely will cause you to have split ends. Maintaining your hair this way will help promote healthy. If you are wearing braids, weave or crochet braids as your form of protective styling, I would recommend wearing these styles no longer than 2 months and then having a 1 or 2 week interval to give your hair a rest. Within this time a deep conditioning treatment is highly recommended and a trim. I would also recommend running oils through your hair twice a week.

The condition of your hair changes due to brushing,combing,braiding ,weather and age, all these things are considered contributing factors to increasing split ends,dry hair and dry scalp,so get to know your hair.

There are so many products on the market that I could talk about but i’m going to recommend from experience and what I have used on my hair. Let me give you some background info; I used to use Vaseline as hair oil and Baby Johnson’s for shampoo,I then did an upgrade to Oilatum . Having a lack of knowledge, this was what I used . I never even used to condition my hair ! I now know how important it is to condition hair. ‘I could never wash my hair with out conditioning it now’ .I was scared of using other products in my hair because of my eczema , my scalp was super sensitive so I thought the products I was using was okay .Vaseline is not hair oil! so do not use this unless it is for barrier cream for a relaxer. Baby Johnson’s (johnsons&johnsons) is for babies ,hence the use of the word baby, seeing as I was not a baby when using it I don’t think it was having a great effect on my hair.

what products should I use…

My go to products for shampoo and conditioner is ‘ORS’ Organic Roots Simulator ; their products are so cost effective and have really worked wonders for my hair-ORS promotes healthy hair and it really tends to my sensitive scalp issues. My favourite product from ORS is the Banana and Bamboo extract conditioner, this conditioner has worked wonders for my hair and it smells amazing. I also use Cantu Shea butter products which can be a little costly but again amazing products, which make your hair smell and feel amazing .

How do I use the products …

So when washing your hair I would always recommend doing 2 washes with your shampoo of choice.Then after I have rinsed the shampoo off thoroughly,  then apply conditioner and place plastic cap on top of your hair and leave for 30- 45 mins(You can even keep it on for even longer). The reason we condition our hair is to restore the hair and close down cuticles/pores after shampooing. ‘Shampooing strips your hair’,your conditioner acts as a fabric softener. Once I have completed this process I towel dry-I then add my oils and moisturizers to my hair whilst my hair is still damp-,first I apply moisturizer and then I apply my oils which seals and locks in the moisture and product. Then I section my hair and either flat twist ,braid or Bantu knot and then place a silk scarf on my head and I leave it to dry this is just my hair process which I find has worked very well for me and i have recommended this to many people and it has worked well for them it is important to find a method that suits your hair type what works for me may not work for you.

List of Products (just a small selection of products that i would recommend)

ORS Products (Organic Root Stimulator)

Creamy Aloe Shampoo

Replenishing Conditioner(great for restoring moisture and rebuilding damaged hair)

Bamboo and banana extract conditioner (really good for dry and damaged hair)

Olive Oil Moisturizing Hair Lotion

Cantu Shea Butter Products

Coconut Curling Cream

Moisturizing Curl Activator Cream

Creamy Hair Lotion

Hair Dressing Pomade

Hair Oils and Butters

Castor Oil

Coconut Oil

Almond Oil

Olive Oil

Shea Butter

Styling Products

Eco Styler

Cantu Shea Butter Hair Dressing Pomade

ORS Edge Control

This Journey is an enjoying and thrilling experience, personally whilst on my healthy hair journey I have developed and immense amount of confidence. I have gained so much knowledge about hair . It’s great to be natural.My hair journey thus far has been so much fun,some styles have worked and some have been an epic fail but its all part of the journey . It’s not supposed to be stressful or hard work , just have fun with it learn to love your curls.

As a young black woman this is an experience and journey that I encourage. To be honest we should already love who we are naturally-we should already believe and understand the uniqueness and beauty in our hair - I also understand it is hard with the world that we live in today.these are seeds we need to be sewing from a young age ‘love your natural hair’ I think it’s important to really be influenced by black woman that promote these qualities because from a young age I thought that beauty was in straight long hair because thats all I saw maybe if I saw Lauryn hill, Erykah Badu and India Arie  first, maybe I would of thought differently .I remember when I first heard the song ‘I AM NOT MY HAIR’ by India Arie ; that song really spoke to me . Over the years this song has continuously spoke to me and now I fully understand that ‘I AM NOT MY HAIR’ .When I was younger amongst me and my friends we would always be competing to have the longest hair and constantly measuring our hair ‘we fell out a lot because of this’ . Back then having long hair meant everything but now it don’t mean a thing ‘ it aint no “thang” but a chicken wing’.

Yours Naturally, DawniiDivine xxx

[dawn-loretta]

I AM NOT MY HAIR

Hey hey hey, welcome to my blog. My blog will consist of a plethora of things from my Natural hair journey; to my fashion; to my food. But I thought as an introduction to my blog I thought what better way to start than with my hair journey so here goes.

So let me start by saying I am not against weave or relaxers by all means wear them ‘do you boo boo,do you’ but when it comes to me I have opted out of wearing weaves since the age of 19 and have never relaxed my hair.From a young age - I think thats a good place to begin - I have had Eczema, which caused my hair to fall out. Even though my Mom did a fab job looking after my hair, I was never a fan of the styles she performed (yes I said performed) on my hair. I have always been natural and at the age of 9 I learnt to cainrow/cornrow and began to do my hair myself. Here’s where it all goes down hill .Inserts dramatic music.

At the age of

After the bullying, the name calling and the hairstyles I thought made me look ugly, I then decided to master box braids, (I wasn’t allowed to have them when I was younger) I remember the first time i had box braids I was so happy that I finally had hair down to my back . I was about 9 when I first had box braids. I was so happy. I was doing my hair myself, I was fitting in , I was finessing the hairstyles (I still got picked on though) .When I got to high school I was determined not to relax my hair so I then discovered straighteners. I then embarked on a relationship with these so called straighteners and had an obsession with having bone straight hair . After endless burns from the hot comb- who remembers the hot comb- i’m talking about the hot comb you would heat up on your stove in the morning’,anyways as I was saying me and the straighteners ahhh yes I just wanted to look like Beyonce, Ashanti and all the celebs with long straight hair . Growing up throughout my teens I couldn’t understand why I didn’t look like them-why didn’t I look like the girls in the magazines-why wasn’t my hair long down to my back or my bottom like theirs .Every morning before school I would be straightening my hair my Mom would say ‘are you frying your hair again’. After endlessly frying my hair I went through the stage of box braids , which wasn’t satisfying enough for me so I then discovered 'Weave’ I just wanted to look like the girls in the magazines. I didn’t think I was beautiful unless I had long hair , I thought that having long straight hair is what made me pretty. My Mom of course would tell me otherwise but I didn’t believe her I just thought you have to say that i’m your child .  I had my first weave at about 12 .I went through endless amounts of weave I wore it all the time , even though my hair grew it was never to the length I wanted. It got to a point where I could not wear my hair without it been straight or with a weave or with something added to my hair . I couldn’t wear my hair in it’s natural state I thought it made me ugly .

16…

I left school and went to college I wanted to be a hairdresser,so thats what I went to do.Throughout college I was still un-confident with my natural hair but then I began to watch my big sister who has always had this amazing long hair.I could not understand why my hair wasn’t long like hers. While at college I was gaining all this amazing knowledge about hair , how to maintain and have healthy hair it really encouraged me to embark on this healthy and natural hair journey. My sister was also a big influence in this decision. I saw all these amazing and beautiful natural hairstyles she would do , part of me thought I can’t do it because my hair was to short but she would always give me ideas.We would spend an endless amount of time searching through YouTube tutorials to find a natural hairstyle Shoutout to my Big Sis thankyou …So at this point I knew how to maintain healthy hair but I was still straightening my hair . Sometimes I would wear weave or braids , my confidence was growing and I was starting to see the beauty my Mom had been trying to tell me about .from all that straightening in my teens my hair was badly damaged so in 2012 I really started to look after my hair  my favourite products were from ORS (Organic Roots Stimulator) which I still use.

Fast Forward to…

So at The age of 19 was the last time I wore weave , which would have been 2013 pushing early 2014. I don’t hate weaves but I now see such beauty in my natural curls so I choose to wear my natural hair. Every now and again I will wear box braids but that is because I just want a change and because I want to protect my hair. I finally see beauty in me and naturally.I finally understand what it is for your beauty to lie within .I have beautiful hair. Personally when i think of a weave on me personally , I feel somewhat captive as it was something i used to suppress and nurture my insecurities . Now I don’t need any of that stuff because my hair is healthy natural and beautiful.

So now..

Now I am all about the natural hair products. I am all about my natural oils i  currently Use Cantu Shea butter products and still use ORS shampoo and conditioner. I use only natural oils on my hair.My favourite’s include Shea butter ,almond oil, coconut oil and olive oil . With my eczema my hair has never been better-my hair is healthy-it’s growing and i’m confident and no longer feel the need to wear weave and braids as a cover up. Having said all I have said,for my 22nd birthday I am going to have a weave. Some of you may say i’m contradicting myself but i’m not, I am calling this ’ The weave experience without my insecurity’ . I am very excited as this is going to be a new experience for me. Wearing a weave without all the insecurities I used to have in my younger years so this is an experience I cannot wait for . I may hate it I may love it.

My final words

Throughout my hair journey,I have realized that a lot of black females young and old can relate to my story , which is why I am sharing this . It really gets to me that some of us can only identify with our beauty when we have long straight hair down to our backs. Some of us may only feel confident when wearing some ladies hair from Malaysia,Brazil or wherever were importing weave from these days.I just want to see black girls,women knowing that they are beautiful brown skin beauties with or without a weave. I guess my issue is not with the weave or the added pieces but with our motives and reasoning behind wearing them. I just want to encourage all my brown skin beauties and let you know that you are beautiful like a flower . I want to let you know that your hair does not make you.You are beautiful beyond measure.

Like India Arie said ‘I am not my Hair’

Here I am ‘Naturally Me’

shoutout to all my weave wearers all my natural confident sistas Hol tyt all my brown skin beauties xxx

[dawn-loretta]

The BIG CHOP

I decided to cut my hair 

I am not my hair