davenilla-blog - Tumblr blog

[davenilla-blog]

it’s a hard decision to make, but you make it on a whim and it’s something you don’t really intend on going back on, because you’re both a fool and tired as fuck and you need to find a way out of your own personal hell. 

so you’re leaving.

the last few hours you’ve been packing your bag, filling it with things you hope are suitable for a solo trip across the lands. non-perishable food, tons of water, extra clothes, deodorant. you also, somehow, managed to find a basic survival guide in a local bookstore, so you figure, why the hell not. 

you decide to walk, not fly, to wherever you’re going. you don’t know, you just figure it means more or something. flying’s easy because you can go anywhere. walking is harder because it gets tiring after a while and there’s challenges along the way. 

you also bring your camera and an ipod and a ton of memory cards and power banks because you’re not going to bring a computer or your phone. both are left behind in your apartment as you head out, not even looking back to a place you kind of called home. 

you leave a note on your kitchen counter.

gone out dont try to find me  - dave strider

[davenilla-blog]

hey anybody wanna comfort a bro by like fuck i dont know sitting in very soft and comfortable clothes and chairs and not moving around or talking a whole bunch with me thanks

[davenilla-blog]

knicht replied to your post: im not a virgin though

thats been in my queue since before you lost your v card

wow thats a long fucking time then

[davenilla-blog]

im not a virgin though

[davenilla-blog]

there is one thing about john egbert that you can always rely on: his ability to make you feel good. whether it be his smile, his laugh, how excited he gets about literally everything, the way his hand warms your entire being whenever he touches you, it doesn’t matter. 

so now that you’re able to see him more often, now that you can go to his house and hang out whenever they want, you get that experience that over and over again. sure, it was fun just chatting online, but there’s something amazing about being able to actually be around your friend. 

and now that you’re adults and you figured out what the fuck your feelings actually are for him, you can (sometimes) push past the fact that you’ll probably never be with him. and that’s fine. because all you really want is for him to be happy and to continue to be by your side. and that’s good enough for you because you want to be by his side too, even if it hurts at times. 

[davenilla-blog]

today is gonna be a good day

[davenilla-blog]

knicht replied to your post “i went excavating today and found a bunch of cool geodes i...”

in a rock presumably

stfu

[davenilla-blog]

i went excavating today and found a bunch of cool geodes i accidentally cracked one open and it the best damn surprise ive seen in a long time i didnt know geodes came in these colours i mean i should have known because agate is totally a thing that is real and some of them are so unreal in colour to think we had shit like this back on earth but im only now able to get my hands on some  where have you been all my life

[davenilla-blog]

somebody come drink with me so i dont look like a loner loser fuck

[davenilla-blog]

podcastmadness‌:

“Well, he left videos. Schooled me and somehow always knew what I was doing. Often closing doors if I did poorly. I didn’t have contact with anyone but him and the music I listened to until I got allowed on the computer and met Roxy. Then it was Roxy and I.” Perking up, he actually chuckles a little. “Then I made Sawtooth and Squarewave. Which earned me food.” 

Dirk wasn’t stupid, he heard the bitterness and tried to cover it up with some of the negatives. Maybe that would help Dave feel like he really is good. Because he is, at least to Dirk he is. As little as it might have meant to someone else.

“I think you’re good as you are. If that matters for anything.” It didn’t, but he tried with a stone cold face and hidden eyes. But, unlike Dave, he was watching the other, trying to make sure he didn’t fall too far into whatever train of thought he can’t read. 

It’s harder with someone who hides it just as well.

the corner of his mouth twitches. was it a smile? a frown? he doesn’t even know, but his fists ball ever so slightly before flexing them and slipping them back into his pocket. 

‘i know im fuckin’ amazing at everything i do, i just...’ he just what? doesn’t actually believe it? doesn’t think he’s good enough for anything or anyone? he lets out a sigh, squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before opening them and giving them a slight nod. 

‘so how long did it take you to make your brobots?’ subject change go!

[davenilla-blog]

podcastmadness‌:

Dirk only really had them, so he has a passion for it, and a bit of an understanding of good and bad directors cuts. Not well, but enough. “It can be. I enjoy how the animation looks. Like, the detail is amazing…” 

The question caught him a little off guard, but he rolled with it. He doesn’t mind answering questions if it doesn’t out his emotions. This is just about past and learning, so why not humor it a little? Not like Dave’s actually listening. “Some of them my Bro left, and when I hit certain ages parts of the house would unlock and I’d get them. Or I’d find them while practicing my…” He pauses, and realized he was about to get very animated. Relax. “My hover board. If I was lucky and crashed in shallow places and didn’t break anything, sometimes I’d be able to get into drowned houses and see if they had any with really good cases.”

A small shrug. It made perfect sense to him.

he nods, listening to every word but keeping his focus on the ground they’re walking on. despite everything, dirk made the best of his life, living stranded in an ocean with only one other person left alive. it’s... admirable, to say the least, that he didn’t go completely batshit crazy. he’s not so sure he’d be able to live like that, since he’s so coded to living among others. 

he bites his lip in thought, pulling his hands out of his pocket and letting them fall at his sides. then, he sighs and speaks up again; 

‘kinda reassuring that my alternate self wasnt a complete ass. maybe ill be like that when im older. making puzzle rooms and leaving anime all over the place for my kid to find.’ 

was that bitter? probably. 

[davenilla-blog]

podcastmadness‌:

Seeing Dave catch up to him had him doing the closest thing to a beam as he would allow himself. It was amazing to have Dave over, he loved having him there. He broke the silence, and made the house feel slightly like a home. Though, Dirk was aware of the pain it might be doing to Dave, so he kept himself looking forward so he doesn’t see him head on as they walk, idly moving his hands as he spoke. 

“It’s okay, I can play something else. I have a big selection of anime’s, though I have classic Disney, some off shoots. Powerpuff girls, the original, and…” And he trails off. He was absolutely endlessly babbling. The excitement slightly getting to him even if his voice never changed. 

This’ll be amazing! 

‘cool,’ is all he can say, listening to dirk prattle on about what animated movies he has. they were never really his thing, not even cartoons interested him as a kid. he was into skateboards and video games. 

‘how did you get all of that?’ granted, he knew the answer, he was just trying to make conversation. the anxiety of being near dirk when he’s in a talkative mood seems to go down because he can use that time to distract himself. he still listens, of course, to everything he says, it’s just easier to manage his own feelings towards him. 

[davenilla-blog]

podcastmadness‌:

“I will readily call myself a weeb, dork, but I actually enjoy it. And it’s rather fun, if you find good series.” He heard the humor, and it helped put a slight spring back in his step as he goes to keep walking. Dave was clearly done with him, and he’s been out of the house long enough that he risks Squarewave 2.0 doing something stupid to his house.

A snort slips past him, before he looks back and motions for Dave to follow, if he wants. Dirk won’t force him, but he also won’t deter him. “Would you care to come watch some with me? Or just regular cartoons.” There’s a hum and then… “I think I have some of the original pokemon movies, if you’re interested.”

he hesitates for a moment before he shrugs and hurries to catch up. if he’s meant to live in a world with the living young replicate of his bro, then he’s gonna have to get over the weird anxiety he feels whenever he’s around dirk. it’s not fair to him, it’s not fair to himself, it’s not fair to anyone to have to deal with him being a fucking baby over something that doesn’t matter anymore because bro is long gone and buried and just a memory from the past. this is a time for new memories, and maybe he can actually get good memories with his new bro. 

‘gonna be real and say i never gave a fuck about pokemon but uh...’ he stops, pursing his lips. ‘i guess there’s always time to get into it. if you want.’ 

he just wants to chill with dirk so they can be friends, so he can try again. that was the whole point of earth c, wasn’t it? 

[davenilla-blog]

podcastmadness‌:

“Sounds more like a fever dream, as it’s actually fairly difficult to eat the coating off the stick without it breaking at least a little. But if you did, congrats to you. Your skills are unmatched.” The noise sent a shudder down Dirk’s back. How can he tolerate that sound? It’s so… Scratchy? He says nothing as he pops another few chips into his mouth, watching Dave go.

While Dave chugged the chips like he’s some frat boy whisking away his life to beer, Dirk hummed and held his bags closer. It’s hard to know, but that was the thing, wasn’t it? Ironic faces, double meanings. It’s kinda whatever.

And there it was. With a sigh, he walks up to a nearby trashcan to throw out the now empty bag, rolling his eyes beneath his shades. “Sometimes they connect to a happier time, and you’re more eating them for sentimentality than anything. Or, you’re a well cultured fellow like myself and just like eating weird food.” He hopes that comes off as a joke, he really does.

‘i guess,’ he shrugs. maybe he just doesn’t have many of those, because quite a few of them either got ruined or were made after the fact. most of his memories of his childhood were kind of soured for him, so he tends to ignore them for the most part. despite having all the time in the world, it’s the one thing he doesn’t have time for. there’s no reason to.

he pockets his hands, which return to his phone, and stares off into the night. ‘does watching anime count as being cultured or is that just what you wanna call it so you dont get called a fuckin’ weeb?’ there’s humour in his voice, barely there but to a trained ear, it’s obvious. 

[davenilla-blog]

hi choose some texts 4 john

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[txt. @john for rose] i dunno man maybe sometimes waking up to another person in my apartment isnt such a bad thing[txt. @john for rose] even if they were just for one night only[txt. @john for rose] maybe i kind of like having another person around even though i was like hell nah before[txt. @john for rose] kind of miss the company of another being in my life

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

[txt. john] john for fuck sake drop whatever the hell youre doing and come rescue me[txt. john] theres this fucking THING in my aparmSsdasdfaSDF[txt. john] IT MOVES VE Y FAST OH HOPY SH IT [txt. john] IM GOING TO DIE[txt. john] IM GOING TO DIE THIS IS THE END[txt. john] FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

[davenilla-blog]

✘ - Hateful ; % - Curious ; ツ - Excited

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[txt. bro] motherfucker i know for a fucking goddamn FACT you left those fucking doll eyes on my kitchen counter on purpose[txt. bro] if you dont take them back now ill give them to rose to fucking[txt. bro] i dont know[txt. bro] use them as a source so she can cast a pox on your crops or some shit[txt. bro] i went my entire childhood dealing with this bullfuck i dont want to deal with it again[txt. bro] dont fucking be like him 

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[txt. bro] so like[txt. bro] dont take this the wrong way or nothing[txt. bro] but what product do you use in your hair or is it natural like that[txt. bro] cause itll be fucking bullshit if its natural because my hair doesnt do what i want unless i use a fuckton of product[txt. bro] have you seen me on a hot day the humidity kills me

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[txt. bro] grocery store has a two for one on 4l jugs of aj[txt. bro] i think i died again and actually went to heaven i am so stoked[txt. bro] i think ill ask if somebody can hook up an iv to my arm and pump that shit directly into my veins

[davenilla-blog]

podcastmadness‌:

There wasn’t a mention of the long pause. It was usual around him, and he’d stopped letting it get to him ages ago. Well, stopped as well as he could like anyone with some minor anxiety could. So Dirk let’s himself settle while listening. He was good at that at least, silence and listening. 

Though, he had to raise a brow to the story. It was visible under the shades, and he had to crack the tiniest of smiles. Maybe he’s been alone a little too long and allowing himself to laugh a little too much, because he snorts and puts a hand to his face to silence it. “Dude, the best way to eat them is nibbling, but smart. Easy way to get people to leave you alone.” He motions to the bag as he eats some chips. He loves his pockeys. “I have a few different flavors, if you want.”

‘i think i had one another time but when somebody asked to share i ate all the coating and gave them just the stick. they called me disgustin' and a disgrace to the animes and ran away crying, i don’t know it was so long ago that i can barely even remember. maybe it was just a fever dream or some shit,’ he shrugged, crushing his chip bag so they turn to crumbs. 

‘i’m fine though, thanks,’ he says before downing the rest of the chips and chucking the bag into the nearest bin. he’s completely oblivious to dirk’s minor spark of emotions, and even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t say anything because that ain’t cool to bully a bro who is also coded to keep those feelings at bay. people like john or karkat, on the other hand, is another story.

‘don’t really care for how sweet they are if i’m gonna be real. also it’s like eating twigs so like, what the actual fuck?’