datingwhileautistic

[datingwhileautistic]

Professional Photos

Look, there aren’t many good photos of me out there. I don’t hang around with people who take lots of photos of me. So I decided to hire a photographer to take lots of photos of me.

The results were pretty good - I got some photos I liked!

Did this make a difference dating wise? I didn’t notice one.

[datingwhileautistic]

Dating Coaching

I decided to get professional help sorting myself out. This wasn’t cheap, but I could afford it.

Would I recommend it? No, probably not. I learned very little except that people do actually use the apps to find romance. We had an introductory session where we went over some basics. My history as a victim of sexual assault came up, and she handled it very well.

The key issue I wanted to raise was the thing I have heard from a lot of love interests in the past: I don’t give off “this guy is romantically interested in me” vibes. Apparently the key there is to ask questions about romance, rather than just regular “getting to know you” questions.

If you are getting dates but they aren’t going well, dating coaching might be for you! If you are trying to get dates but not succeeding, dating coaching might be for you! But if you’re just a bit fed up without actually failing, then it probably isn’t for you.

[datingwhileautistic]

Relaunching datingwhileautistic!

To recap, demisexual biromantic autistic guy living in London, looking to date women. I am 27 now, which is much older than when I started this blog. But I actually have content!

All names will be changed, and I may occasionally fudge the geography too. But I have content. Aiming to update weekly.

[datingwhileautistic]

I didn’t do any dating lol

[datingwhileautistic]

OK upon reflection, nobody wants to hear about my dating history unless it is hilarious. So from now on we will stick to “hilarious”.

[datingwhileautistic]

My dating history

First off: throughout this whole blog, I’ll be using pseudonyms for the key players. I’ll probably get them confused. I’ll also try to avoid revealing any identifying information about anyone. I suspect if anyone I knew stumbled upon this blog they’d already be able to identify me, and by extension any of the other players who they know about, so I’ll also try to avoid embarrassing them as much as possible. But given that I am trying to be as open and honest about my feelings and thought processes as possible, it may be that I will say some things that they will be slightly uncomfortable about.

This also won’t be remotely complete; I’ve decided to limit myself to the three or four most significant love interests of my life to date, at least for now. I have a few other funny anecdotes that I might throw in later in the year if I need a post.

Anyway...

Throughout most of my time at school I was crushing on a very pretty, very kind, deeply religious girl. I think everyone I’ll mention in this blog is at least quite pretty, but Ruth, as I will call her, is something else. Imagine if Emma Watson was a bit prettier.

With hindsight it is clear to me that Ruth was a bad idea.

Don’t get me wrong, she has lots of positive features - she is as instinctively kind as she is pretty - but we were not a good match. I found her naivety somewhat endearing, and clung onto my own religious convictions a bit longer than I really should have, and I always interpreted her actions as signs of intelligence. But frankly, in the unlikely event that she had ever been interested in me, I would soon have been driven up the wall by her religiousness. Much more likely, it would never have even got that far.

When I left school and went to university I was still crushing on Ruth. I went to my local university so I didn’t have to leave home. She didn’t get into university straight away so I did spend a lot of time wondering if we would run into each other. Nonetheless, I knew nothing was going to happen, and deliberately sought out as many interesting young women (and at this stage it was just women) as possible with the intent of them taking Ruth’s place in my heart.

By February I was weighing up a few genuine contenders when one of them stole my heart.

To be continued...

[datingwhileautistic]

Intro to Dating While Autistic

Hello all!

I am a 24-year-old single autistic man living in London. I work for the government and want to be a little less single.

Not only am I autistic, but I am also some formulation of WTFsexual, autisexual, demisexual, or just regular old asexual. That makes dating a little bit more complicated. I’ve often been told that I don’t send the same “I’m into you!” vibes that other people do.

I primarily date women, but I’m happy to date men as long as I’m confident they’re not going to kill me.

I have spent the last year trying to survive in London and a new job. I am going to dedicate the next year to trying to find love. If it doesn’t happen then it doesn’t happen, and I’ll go back to dedicating the usual amount of energy to it (assuming I still want to).

I have about a year’s worth of content planned out, including a few dates in the pipeline. I will start by queueing up content on my past dating experiences, and hopefully before that runs out I’ll have some stuff to actually talk about.