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NOT MY HEAVEN

Something that was written by: Brynnon

Blog #1: Tuesday, May 21st, 2024

Throughout my day, I always have to play nice with the various customers that come my way. This is alright, though, because it may be hard for people to see that I am a traditionally nice person. Only exceptions include when I have to stand up to a bully, I'm feeling choatic or bathing in the sense of bloodlust due to being a tad bit bipolar -- Which I'm working on. -- or when I deem it better to just go my separate way from the current situation as I strive to be more free spirited, and I'm not sticking around if I feel uncomfortable or used. Anyhow, one of the few customers I get every now and again is of the overly religious types. That's fine. If you have pride in your faith, however, there's a certain point where it gets a tad disrespectful. I'm not gonna go into names or too into specifics as I want to respect the privacy of both my job and the individuals involved. So I'm gonna try and be as vague as I can get.

I've had scenarios where a customer asks me: Do you believe in God?

To which, my answer is yes.

Then they proceed to ask the usual questions like: Have you given yourself to God? Do you pray to him every day?

These are fine questions to ask, but my answer is always going to be no. Sometimes, they accept this, and other times, they get offended. As if the question they asked has a preset answer and by changing the direction in which the conversation is going, I have upset the greater diety that they follow.

Listen, I mean zero disrespect towards Jesus Christ or God when I write this. I do believe they exist, though, to what extent and form they exist is up to countless amounts of debate. I know I'm gonna spark some kind of controversy when I say this, but I respect and view them as no higher than my equals, just like any other person.

My life does not belong to God, Jesus (You can argue them to be one in the same if you want.), Satan, Donald Trump, Biden, or any political office, or any company (They may buy my work but never my soul. Aside from that, I always give them my all.) If that path of belief locks me out of Heaven and sends me to the darkest pit of Hell, then they are no God that deserves my faith. I say they because we have no proof on God's gender, you may argue with me on that but any source you provide for this centuries old question is gonna be just as refutable as it is acceptable... unless you cite the Nightcore cover of "God is A Girl" as your source, then I will agree. (Jokingly.) Any person, let alone God, who weighs any persons' life against their religious belief system rather than the morale of their soul and the actions they commit in their life is not someone I'll follow.

Now, the theory I have is that God made us all. It was a long, long time ago. It's longer than the Bible has ever comprehended. That is all they did. They have no control beyond that, but maybe their intentions were pure. Anyhow, time passes and humanity -- (I'm using "humanity" as a catch-all phrase for all the various races, genders, and whatever we were in past lives) -- humanity does as they do: Lie, cheat, and kill but also love, trust, and laugh. Things that make us great and beautiful but also horrible at the same time. All which make us human in the first place. With each death and each universe shattered, God sends a Mesiah down to remind us at a point where we can listen, to remind us to love each other, and eventually, we send them back. During all of this, God collects the souls who have suffered but not let that change them and keeps them in a sort of lobby until they are ready to be reincarnated. Whether that be as a cow, rat, or the all sentient man itself in whatever form that may be because God sees it all as equal as long as the soul is good. Then he sends us back.

(I GOT FOUR MINUTES TO FINISH THIS!)

I like to believe that my brother is waiting for me in that lobby. He wasn't a pure man, but his intentions were always good. I couldn't see that until after he was gone. We'll meet up and chill on a couch with Jesus Christ, smoke some weed because, since we are dead and in the form of our souls, our lungs don't technically exist. We can smoke and drink all we want with no negative effect and talk for hours, maybe even years, about our next life. Maybe we get to choose, then our memories are wiped, and we are sent back. The angels return our memories to us in the form of cryptic dreams that we only understand when we need them. Then life continues and continues.

Maybe Jesus is our friend, maybe he's sad to see us go. Every time we return, it's like a party where everyone is invited to discuss everything and celebrate on our own terms.

That's what I choose to believe, and if that's the case, just like I'm welcome to call on him when I need a favor, hopefully he can also lean on us.

Love to all. Take care of one another.