darwenism

[darwenism]

He fought so hard to stay with me because he saw I was crying.

No one told him he’s just a little rat.

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when your rat wants to post, too

ft. void god snark

[darwenism]

We got Darwen’s look-alike plushie in the mail today! <3 I’m over the moon, it’s absolutely adorable and I’m so glad I decided to get one!

Check out @morumoto for other fantastic work!

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Little love <3

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Still such a handsome boy <3 Bumpy, but charming as ever.

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little clip from when I was trying to stream the other day

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Not Everything That Crinkles Is a Snack For You - A novel by me, about my pets

[darwenism]

Sweet old man

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This is how we spend much of our time lately. Sometimes he’ll melt into me like this for 20 minutes at a time, just soaking up the pets. He’s so damn precious to me.

[darwenism]

Darwen’s getting old.

I know I haven’t posted much to this blog in... almost a year, I’d say. But I do hope to eventually get all the photos I did take together and post them eventually. 

At any rate... I noticed a bump on his face right before Christmas. I kept an eye on it, but it looked like it was growing, so I took him in to the vet. The vet was very confident that it was a type of cartilage tumor that was inoperable. It’s apparently possible to treat it with radiation therapy... but even that rarely works, and it’d be tens of thousands of dollars to pursue that. Even if I had that kind of money, I can’t justify that for an old rat. 

So really, there’s nothing I can do. His old age is now in a race against the tumor; If his age wins, he dies peacefully in his sleep or something. If the tumor wins, he survives long enough for it to grow big enough to affect his eyes, airways, and/or mouth until he’s basically suffocating and unable to eat, and I have to have him euthanized. 

I’m watching him slow down. He’s eating less, sleeping more--and he can’t quite open his eyes all the way, and he snores loudly when he sleeps. There’s always gunk in the corner of his eyes, and he’s itched at his tumors so much, he has big bald patches in his fur with bloody scabs on his face. 

It’s not easy to watch... but he’s still the same old Darwen underneath that mess. He goes for car rides with me and bruxes the whole time to let me know how happy he is to be on an adventure--and I take him with me every time I leave, because God knows how many adventures we have left together. 

I’m going to really, really miss him when he’s gone. He has been the one real consistent in my life for the past two and a half years I’ve been blessed with his companionship. Every friend I thought I had has let me down, either flaking on me, or outright betraying me and breaking my heart. Everyone crumbled away--but Darwen was always right there. Unwavering, loyal, and with this uncanny ability to tell when I needed him most. It is my wholehearted belief that God put this little dumpling in my life so that I had what I needed to survive this horrible year of... just so much emotional agony. I will miss him when he leaves me, but I know he’s leaving me much stronger and safer than he found me. And I don’t think I could have done it without him. He really did save my life. 

[darwenism]

gaining a rats love and trust is the greatest thing

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I still exist I promise ;w;

I’m so sorry for the extreme lack of any content lately. It’s been goin kinda rough over here, and there aren’t a lot of opportunities for cute photo-ops. 

But Darwen is doing great! 

And today marks his second birthday! They grow up so fast ;w;

Darwen is such a wonderful blessing, and I deeply appreciate everyone who has shown support of him over these past two years. I’m so glad I could share his little light. 

I’ll try to get back into posting here more, but right now my biggest priority is just focusing on my own health. I apologize for anyone who’s missing out on fatbuns over here, but hopefully this hiatus doesn’t have to last too much longer <3

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hehehehehee

a theif

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“are we there yettttt”

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You actually can’t take my hair with you though is the thing

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I’d bet money that he’s related to Darwen.

Ladies and gentlemen, this is science in a nutshell