dardoodle - Tumblr blog

[dardoodle]

One more round, baby. (Please).

So sick. So tired. Growing a human is no joke. Again

[dardoodle]

I ended up the luckiest.

And the best is yet to come.

[dardoodle]

It keeps on moving, moving, moving.

These mornings, waves of inspiration! Potential and possibility! It’s the salt years, you know. Some grind and relief and planting and debts and paying debts and just these years are wild.

I’m the luckiest I’m the tiredist I’m appreciated I’m taken advantage of I picked the perfect person we are never going to work our family is set with 2 we aren’t complete yet work is thriving I’m barely scraping bye.

[dardoodle]

Who are you going to be, my little boy? And who am I becoming with you? I can’t wait to know you. 

[dardoodle]

All the things are about to change again. What do I want to let go of? What do I want to be reborn? What will it feel like for my heart to expand it’s capacity, again?

[dardoodle]

WHO is “that’s so you” - unlocking creativity. A nest to store my dreams hopes fears grievances. A privileged problem of identity manifestation. Beginning again!

[dardoodle]

Something is happening

Loose ends

Angst

Unfinished

Misunderstood

Misrepresented

encounters in this season, magically orchestrated

Wait wait wait and wait feeling endless

The dreams and rehearsals and will it always be will it always feed the pit pit pit pit

Then

it finds it’s rest

And you’re free

And it was right on time

[dardoodle]

But it really really IS everything. Because without the update without saying yes to the update I wouldn’t have been open to the phone call without the phone call I wouldn’t be believing right now that maybe it is going to be OK. So we can grow up… And we can even outgrow the people that we love the most. No more toxic 4’s in my life.

[dardoodle]

Be open to it being way better than you imagined.

Different can still be better.

[dardoodle]

7-10 pm. Ain’t no life like the mom life.

[dardoodle]

The greatest greatest greatest thing.

[dardoodle]

Remember sitting here late night in pain hoping.

[dardoodle]

I believe people can change.

[dardoodle]

Insomnia is a reaaaal thing.

Pandemic times. Everyone’s grieving something. Expectations are killers. Snapshots of what is now. Men who never thought they deserved jail crying saying goodbye over to-to-meeting. Me calling the fire station so we stop getting smoked out. Judah coming any time and we could always wish the season was a little different (that he was out of school, we could casually read birthing books before bed, that i had decorations at my baby shower and people weren’t on zoom)... but this is what it is and it’s good.

[dardoodle]

I’m becoming someone new.

[dardoodle]

I baked some bread. I’ve never done that before. It was nice.

[dardoodle]

Very very weird times.