darcuscase

[darcuscase]

Lord please let the tables turn, i'm so tired. let me experience genuine things in life

[darcuscase]

“It reminded me of you”

[darcuscase]

I just wanna run away.

[darcuscase]

I dont understand why everytime I tried my best to get out of this shitty mess. Fate will find a way to put me back to where I started. What did I do to deserve this?

[darcuscase]

This is why I dont want to get my hopes up. It always stings in disappointment in the end. Fuck this shit.

[darcuscase]

I just dont care about anything else anymore.

[darcuscase]

How do you go to sleep knowing that on the other side of the world, there's someone you left with unanswered questions that made them stay awake all night?

[darcuscase]

Have you ever wondered how everyone else have their life figured out and yet here you are, still a big mess?

[darcuscase]

Tangina nyan. Di mo na alam kung challenge o parusa e.

[darcuscase]

ang ironic lang ng buhay no? Kung sino pa yung taong nagkatrauma after being in pain and hurt, sila pa yung mga taong trying to save other people to not get hurt. yet, sila din tong pinipiling saktan.

Basta ang lesson, di tayo superhero to save everyone. It is not our responsibility to mend and to make them better, salat na siguro yung minsan tayong nag guide at naging ilaw, after that, they need to live life in their own whether they will pursue, or let go us.

[darcuscase]

Hiraya Manawari

I was scrolling through my IG and I noticed that this was the last picture that I posted on the first quarter of 2023. Nothing follows after this. It kinda baffles me to think that this means nothing to me but an aesthetic-one-liner in a neon design thats insta-worthy by the time I took it, but now that I'm seeing it again, I cant help but get emotional. Specially with all misery that I've encountered. —I really wish everything was a dream. Sana di totoo lahat, sana isang araw magising ako na panaginip lang lahat ng 'to, na magiging ayos din lahat gaya ng dati.

2023 ended but the trauma stings the same. I keep on getting random flashbacks and a lot of what if's that keeps me awake at night. Ang dami kong binitawan; mga sinakripisyo. I did everything what I feel is right, but I never feel happy. I always feel insecure. I'm afraid na pagsisihan ko na binitawan ko yung mga bagay/tao na naging dahilan para maging masaya. Mga bagay/tao na iniwanan ko kasi gusto kong gawin kung ano ang tama.

I hope this 2024, maibalik ko yung sarili ko. Mga nawala sakin. Alam kong mahirap, at baka malabo ng mangyari. Unti unti ko na ding tinatanggap na ito na yung mundo ko. Yung mamuhay malayo sa mga mata ng tao. Nakakamiss pero mas mabuti na yung ganito for now.

Whatever challenge comes this 2024. I'm hoping that I'll be able to handle it better this time. Nakakatakot yung experience na pinaramdam sakin ng nakaraang taon and I dont think I'll be able to handle it even more if it happens to me again lalo na wala na kong kakampi.

Putangina, bigay mo na sakin tong 2024.

PS: Marami pala kaming shareholders, pero baka naman.

[darcuscase]

Give me strength to face another battle. Smh this is never ending.

[darcuscase]

Enough with your happy ending. Admit it. It aint gonna happen.

[darcuscase]

Just think of it as you're lucky for dodging a bullet. Everything will be okay soon, self.

[darcuscase]

All I want is to get my life back. Why is it too much to ask?

[darcuscase]

When did a warm embrace and deep kisses became nothing to you?

[darcuscase]

3:00 AM Thoughts:

How is it unfair for me that you feel giddy in love again and yet here I am, still in pain from the trauma that you gave me?