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I Know I’m Not the Only One - Episode 13: The Frustration of Suppressed Greatness

I was born on the 5th of September, 1983. For the longest time, life felt limitless. Then came the 1st of April 2010—April Fool’s Day, but there was nothing funny about the day that changed my life forever. A car accident put me in this wheelchair, and suddenly, the world began to see me differently.

Before that day, I didn’t have to explain my potential or prove that I was more than capable. People just saw it—at least I felt they did. Now, my disability isn’t just physical. It’s a perception—a barrier erected by the world around me.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. There’s a fire inside me, a knowledge that I am destined for something great, something bigger than these four wheels I’ve been stuck on. But every time I try to break free, I face limitations—limitations not of my own making but placed on me by society, by infrastructure, by assumptions. I can see the greatness within me, but getting anyone else to see it is like screaming into a void.

People don’t mean to suppress your greatness, but they do. They see the wheelchair and not the person. They see the accident, not the years of work, dreams, and goals that preceded it. They smile with sympathy, offer help with a tilt of their heads, but rarely offer opportunities. It’s as if the accident took away more than just my ability to walk—it took away their belief in my potential.

But here’s the thing: the fire hasn’t gone out. Every day, I wake up and know that I still have something to offer, something extraordinary that’s locked inside, waiting to be unleashed. The frustration is palpable, though. It’s a weight almost as heavy as the chair beneath me.

In 2022, I decided to do something about it. I became a PhD candidate, starting my doctorate that July. It was a way to take control of my own narrative again, to channel that inner greatness that had been burning within me for so long. The journey has been challenging, no doubt. A PhD is hard enough without the additional barriers of navigating life in a wheelchair. But here I am, steadily pushing through, because I know this doctorate is just the beginning.

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Blessed (at The University of the Western Cape) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb0SL0GKjVU/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Smile says it all (at The University of the Western Cape) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cb0Gn3BqOPm/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Capping. (at The University of the Western Cape) https://www.instagram.com/p/CbzgBKxKZjZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Masters!! (at The University of the Western Cape) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cbzf0yXqLzj/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Awesome to learn about assistive devices and the advancements in technology. #assistivetechnology #deptofeducation (at Department Of Education) https://www.instagram.com/p/CX4BpxuKxkW/?utm_medium=tumblr

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Hard work, determination and striving for positive change. May this be the start of a productive journey. In God's hands. #invisibledisabilities #inclusiveeducation # disabilityawareness (at Department Of Education) https://www.instagram.com/p/CW7fvh_KikL/?utm_medium=tumblr

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How people with an impairment is treated by our education system. Not only the education system but the employment sector, Healthcare system and how society expects a person with difference to be accommodated. Understand that it's the system, policy and agenda that excludes. Mind sets and how we put systems and structures in place need to undo the exclusion created. Its an everyday job and a mindset towards access for all and not creating a norm for exclusion.

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Episode 12 – Decade Anniversary

I play back this day in my mind over and over. It’s the only time this day gets repeated in my mind. I see it as my coping mechanism. 31st March 2010, my last day with freedom of movement and the start of my transition into a new world. As we live in our Corona Virus lockdown in 2020, I feel the same anxiety I did the day my life changed. I’m not replaying this day for everyone, as episode 8 is evidence to what transpired. I am going to put forward what challenges I faced, what I’ve overcome, what I’m still facing and then into the future.

As I prepare to face April fool’s day, I look back at the enormous dead end I stood at. I play back this dream I had for years. Dreaming of this giant round rock rolling towards me and I’m trying to run away. Every time I turn around the rock rolls closer and gets bigger. It’s coming straight for me and I have nowhere to go. It is amazing that this dream makes sense now but it never showed the outcome of when this rock rolled over. I remember feeling lost and darkness but in this I somehow saw opportunity. An opportunity to start a new life in a new outlook. I was going to tackle it head on. It’s tough to get use to the new routine but I had to. It took years for my mind and body to realise the importance of routine. I needed to get well; I need to get back to a ‘normal life’.

As I prepared to go back to work in January 2011, I realised I needed to get stronger. I needed to be able to sit in my chair for 8 hours and be able to complete a full day of work. I jumped into my physiotherapy but at the same time I’m in tremendous pain from my injuries. I did my modern physiotherapy and also traditional methods to assist my well being. Thinking back now, I think the physiotherapy was just something I did because everyone else told me to. An issue I have with this is that people do not do physiotherapy to improve others but it is their career, to earn an income. You do get the odd warriors who look to change the world but this is the exception to the norm.

Having continuous meetings and interactions with my employer, to ensure I am happy when going back to work. The realization is evident that the world lacks knowledge about inclusion and access. I need to drive the process myself but this is not easy as I’m new to my situation. I love retail and I loved my job because I knew what I was doing and it came to me naturally. The workplace just needed to accept me. Not with my differences but with the knowledge and expertise I can deliver. Clearly the latter was ignored but I was rather seen for what I could not do. Looking back now I realise that accommodation is not changing job functions a person must do but rather assist them in the job they know how to do. By creating a new job role and then trying to accommodate someone, only creates a bigger issue. Here policy and legislation around accommodation needs to be reworked and understood by government first then all role players. I loved my co-workers because of the support they gave me. This support was the emotional one I needed and it kept me sane while dealing with an incompetent workplace to accommodate me and a manager that was lost as well. One of my best friends and co-workers introduced me to dance and more so wheelchair dancing, I loved it.

Starting wheelchair dancing was important to me because I was an active competitive person. I needed this to assist me in becoming stronger and also taking part in a sporting activity. Going to my first dance class was like that first day of school, you really nervous and anxious but excited for the future. I remember looking into my co-worker’s eyes, my dance partner, and she was just as nervous. Her drive to get things done and understanding what wheelchair dancing can do for me, really made our partnership a healthy one. I will always be indebted and love this lady for the rest of my life. We competed all over the Western Cape and even got a chance to represent South Africa. Wheelchair dancing is run as a non-profit organization and in some cases only done if there is a drive from a teacher like in our case. Our dance instructor was very knowledgeable and had the expertise to teach wheelchair dancing. This skill is not easily available and it does affect the reach of the sport. Dancers need to fund themselves to buy their outfits, shoes and entry into competitions. This can be very costly and luckily chairs were supplied from the school to dance in. We danced with many interested and eccentric individuals. My greatest memory was taking part in an Artscape production that highlighted the role of dance for people with disabilities. Sad part is that these dancers from Khayelitsha did not have the funds, access to transport and information readily available to get them involved in these productions. Wheelchair dancing is really a sport for who can afford to take part. Even with these barriers, the production was a success.

Looking back at my ten years as a person with a disability, I can be very happy that all the things that could have held me back, was overcome. My life is calm now and I can face the world with an understanding of what my future needs to be to make the difference. My academic life will be the way forward for me. I love giving back and helping others. I will always help those going through what I have. My future is geared to attain the knowledge I need to assist others and society in the fight for accessibility and inclusion. I am definitely going to get back to my physical activity and my main aim to become stronger and independent. Knowledge is power. Ameen.

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Episode 11 – Achieving my knowledge or education

At the time of my accident, I was busy doing honors at UWC in Management. I really enjoyed my studies and always driven to increase my knowledge base. With my current situation, and my need to make the positive change, I attempt to gain the most knowledge I can about issues of disability. The disability studies course at UCT was a perfect source to gain the knowledge I needed.

The disability studies program has the discourse I needed and it gave me the tools to apply in my future studies and goals. Understanding the policy, legislation and issues at hand, gives me the knowledge on what to apply and where. I’m not a research major and doing research requires me to learn as I go along to apply these research techniques. The modules are very interesting but more equipped to increase the research around issues of disability. Disability as a subject does not have the broad research that’s needed to assist policy makers and or monitoring and evaluation teams. Currently the main research goes about looking at how disability research has been carried out and in areas where persons with disabilities have gone beyond current limitations to achieve their goals. Research is available with regards to education but it does not really achieve the universal design needed to benefit society. There still needs to be concentration on certain aspects or impairments with regards to education. Autism being a main focus area in research. How we achieve accessibility and inclusion for the physical impaired is easier but physical accessibility is costly. The costs associated sees many schools and or education suppliers stay away from getting universally designed educational programs.

Most postgraduate courses are year courses with two block weeks of three weeks. Two or three modules per semester making up a diploma or degree. The structure of the course is perfect for my situation as I can work from home. The disability unit at UCT is funded and geared towards the needs of the students. The transport will fetch you when you schedule the time and booking with the disability unit. They unit offers additional aids to assist with the type of impairment the student has. I enjoyed the process and learning if what is needed for an inclusive tertiary education setting. I really enjoyed the classes and with a focus on disability, I understood why we so far behind in rectifying the inequalities experienced. I achieved this postgraduate diploma in disability studies and I now needed to apply this knowledge. I looked at employment opportunities but face the same issues as before as well as all disability jobs are learnerships. Nothing has changed even with a postgraduate diploma or years of work experience.

Young African Leaders Initiative (YALI), a leadership course run by the University of South Africa (UNISA), gave me another opportunity to learn how to apply my skills in a leadership role. The course was sponsored and aided by the Barack Obama administration when he was in the presidential office. This was a great opportunity and I decide to apply to complete the course online. Online classes, tuition and exams got me excited as previous barriers do not count. I am part of the 2018 cohort and enjoy this class. Using my previous knowledge gained and looking at many situations around Africa, I realise access is not about disability but about a human right. A right to allow many the opportunity for growth and success. To be able to make a positive change and improvement of every aspect and person of any society. I enjoyed this course and learnt a lot and achieving this certification probably one of my proudest.

Early 2019, my father shared the most exciting and important tertiary postgraduate opportunity to me. It is a Masters of philosophy in sports for development and it’s my calling. It is everything I have been working towards and the first degree of its kind in the Southern Hemisphere. I must apply and I must try my best. I send through my documents and I got the necessary requirements for the degree. I’m proud and honoured when I get accepted and the knowledge wheel keeps rolling. It is offered at the University of the Western Cape (UWC) and I’m proud to go back to my Alma mater. I completed my undergraduate studies at UWC in B.Com with majors in Management and Industrial Psychology. I always believed in building up the institutions and infrastructures negatively affected by Apartheid. I thought this is great for my growth and the role I want to play as a guiding body on my knowledge base. I represented my country in wheelchair dancing and been an above average school boy cricketer. I know sport and now I am learning more about disability. Together I can create disability discourse that shows the power of sport, not only as a unifying mechanism but improving the situation people with disabilities experience. I have completed my first year of the postgraduate degree and I’m happy I can further my work into the mini thesis section. UWC has a disability unit and the lady who not only ran the unit but did most the work all her life retired the year I started my masters. The disability unit does not have the same standard as the one I worked with before. My aim was to not only improve their work at UWC but their visibility as a department in the future. We experienced how having a disability and how the powers that be abuse theirs and this was over something as simple as a parking bay. Simple to most but important to me.

I’m doing an investigation of what is needed for participation in wheelchair dancing for persons with physical disabilities. My mini thesis is what I want to do and I’m hoping to keep going to make the difference needed. I’m hoping I could teach or lecture my learnings to others but this is my next goal on my list of things to do in the future.

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Episode 10 – Finding the way and drive.

As I soldier on in my ‘dream’ job, I struggle to settle in but realise that the retail environment is a tough hard one. Once decisions are made and there is a target on your head, you can try as hard as you like but you not going to grow in that environment. As for a person with a disability, this situation is even more daunting as there is no support. Support in terms of how to accommodate persons with disabilities in the workplace and the biggest issue in my situation is the reintroduction into the workplace. The policy from national government has not been fine tuned to understand its application but at the same time the private sector use this as their ‘win' in the situation. Applying policies in ways that advantage the business and not putting disability as the important outcome. They, the private sector, see paying fines as the quick win instead of introducing a sustainable long lasting solution. A solution not only for the private sector business environment but as a role player in uplifting society. Because of this and the incompetence of my immediate manager, I was forced to leave a job environment that I loved, knew and of course was more than capable of thriving in. I gave retail 2 years of my life as a person with a disability and I still tried to fight the outcome of how unfairly they let me go. The honest truth is that government themselves do not have the tools to assist persons with disabilities. Persons with disabilities are the poorest of demographics across all societies but no one cares. The lack of knowledgeable people, understanding and how to implement issues of disability is just absent. It further holds this demographic behind and they have no chance of experiencing the same human and or democratic rights as the rest of society.

I left retail in mid year of 2013 and I needed to relook my goals, my life ambitions and how am I going to change the way society views me. I went through depression yes and I knew I could not let things affect me. My body hurt because I continued dancing but I felt I reached every height I possibly could. I’m not this person I need to rest get away and start over. I stopped dancing to relax and get my mind in the place I needed to. I did a mind map and looked at my options. The one thing I had that only God could take from me was my mind, brain and how I apply it. With all of this in mind, I decide to go back to my studies. To gain the knowledge needed to make the difference. The positive difference that society will need to change how they view me and persons with disabilities.

I decide to learn the work being done to assist people with disabilities. Wheelchair dancing allowed me to touch base with disability sporting codes and I soon found out things are run on a funding basis. We as persons with disabilities need to see what we want to compete in, fund ourselves and get there by ourselves. Once again I realise that we are being pushed into a corner. South Africa has the best para athletes in the world and they perform better than the abled bodied athletes. Surely there is something wrong here. Sport is not just something to achieve in but it gives good health and wellbeing. Something needs to change and mind-sets need to change. After doing a bit of non-profit work and gaining knowledge around the issues these organizations face, my mind is set and a path is developing.

When my accident happened I had amazing people visit me and I took note of them all. I realised I needed to get in contact with these individuals again because their expertise and their ‘connections' is what I needed to get myself in the correct frame of mind. Shuaib Chalklen, what an amazing man, was introduced to me early during my recovery stage. I was then told to use him as a mentor as he could direct me in a direction that would assist me. This was not a quick fix but rather the time I need to use to get back on a road of self growth. Mr Chalklen was the rapporteur for disability at the United Nations. That is huge, he is South African, living in a wheelchair and he represents us all to make the positive change. This is the type of mentor I needed. Anything he said I’m going to do. The first thing was to get to study and he contacted the head of the disability studies postgraduate program at the University of Cape Town. He set up the meeting and I was on my way. It might have taken awhile but back and forth fighting for a year and a bit, I decide to let retail go. After relaxing and getting my body well, I start my postgraduate diploma in disability studies at UCT in 2017.

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Goodhope FM (at GOOD HOPE FM) https://www.instagram.com/p/B6NcGC5AlJP/?igshid=1x45rn2fua30h

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I will be on radio 786. I will be talking about my life, achievements and barriers as a person living with an impairment. Please guys support me and listen from 5pm- 6pm on 3rd August 2019. Please share and tune in family and friends (at Radio 786) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0jT_i2gl83/?igshid=1uoo3dnk6877l

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Throwback (at Cape Town, Western Cape) https://www.instagram.com/p/ByXhrIrgBbwpsNr3reygY7r67YT28SSYntdzic0/?igshid=1blwgfda8aze4

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Masters class sports for development 2019. Pic says it all https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu3f7PpguPzluL-PVkvYmmXSpR6ICB-I9RP3280/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9yz0o75vh7va

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Always fun in the heat of it all https://www.instagram.com/p/Bu3fzP1AUzsDp2g74xmw6G5a15yitH1NN9BVL40/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=dkm07me3zryq