danapologist

[danapologist]

october 19th 2009

twelve years of dan and phil

[danapologist]

[danapologist]

Dan & Phil describing each other for the Summer in the City book

Dan Howell, whose name rhymes with hand towel, bland scowl, and sand owl, was created when a woodland creature had a baby with Liam Payne from one direction. When not procrastinating by eating the entire fridge or staying awake until 6am, he makes youtube videos on the channel danisnotonfire (which was his username back in the lolrandom bebo days.) Before becoming a Youtuber, teenager Dan worked in a DIY shop until one day he sold an axe to an eight year old. Dan’s Greatest Hits include “what not to do at the beach” (where he actually went outside), “sexy internet dating” (where he invited a naked 58 year old man called Manesh to our house), and “what is my life” (where he spent eight minutes pritt-sticking various meat products to his face). I know what you are thinking, “I want some Dan facts!” WELL HERE THEY ARE, JENNY! (I just totally freaked out anyone called Jenny) Dan is scared of trees. Dan eats cinnamon cereal every day (except the days I steal his cereal). I am sat next to Dan now and he said if he could have any dog it would be a Shiba Inu. If you haven’t checked out his videos yet then you are missing out - a LOT. Also you might want to check out his pretty cool friend Phil.

Get his autograph below! or find someone else called Dan and get him to forge it. Just convince yourself it was true.

Ok bye.

- Phil.

Phil Lester is the by-product of two related grandparents and a haircut that was cool in 2006, but that’s okay because he has a lovely personality. His quirky videos and idiosyncratic editing sets him apart from other YouTube vloggers - that and his unique life which seems to attract a worryingly large amount of strange people and situations (which he relives for your enjoyment). If you look at yourself in the mirror and think “wow i am so weird, how do i function?” - Phil’s the guy that teaches you to embrace your individuality.

If you see Phil this weekend, do not be alarmed if his hand is facing backwards towards his pocket in a claw shape, he can’t help it. And he was does not condone irresponsible use of a permanent marker on your face.

Remember, normalness leads to sadness.

- Dan

[danapologist]

danielhowell’s instagram stories 22/02/2021

[danapologist]

gay ass dan and phil podcasts twice a week while they’re moving to a house they designed together... this is a fever dream and i’m about to wake up back in 2015 i’m convinced

[danapologist]

i was watching this atrocity again

[danapologist]

Phil reads options: Clothing, snake, husband, depressed-

Phil, smiling brightly to Dan: It is you!

[danapologist]

New video with Dan! Something we want to tell you

[danapologist]

everyone shut up i’m not talking abt anything else

[danapologist]

love is stored in the cat whiskers

[danapologist]

Liveshow Baby

“Hey guys! So as you can see, (y/n) is hanging out with us tonight. Look how huge she is!” Dan waved at the camera and gestured at your very pregnant stomach. You shot him a playful glare and waved at the camera.

You were pretty comfortable with being in front of Dan’s fans by now. He constantly wanted to show you off to his audience, especially since you got pregnant. However, you were terrified the first time he wanted to do a video with you. You spent hours scrolling through the comments, reading through all of the kind and not-so-kind comments. After a while you learned to ignore the hateful remarks and just have fun with Dan.

After about twenty minutes of answering questions with Dan, you felt a lurch in your stomach. Your hands immediately flew to wrap around your swollen middle. Your facial expression must have changed as well, because Dan noticed.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” The Danosaurs were going crazy in the chat.

“I-I think…the baby’s coming.” You looked up at Dan, your expression filling with panic and excitement.

His eyes widened and his mouth hung wide open. He glanced at the screen, where the chat was filled with things like “hurry up and take her to the hospital Dan!” and “name it after me!”

“Ok guys, we’re gonna have to cut this liveshow short, obviously. I’ll keep you posted on twitter. Bye!” He quickly shut his laptop and grabbed the bag that you had packed a week earlier.

The trip to the hospital was the longest twenty minutes of both of your lives. You contractions were starting, and Dan cringed with every cry of pain you uttered.

Your labor lasted hours, and Dan held your hand through it all. When it was finally over, Dan wrapped an arm around your shoulders as you held your newborn baby girl.

“She’s perfect.”

[danapologist]

THEY BOUGHT A HOUSE AND HAVE BEEN DESIGNING THE INTERIOR FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS

omfg dan and phil living the secret good destiel endgame that lives inside my head...................

[danapologist]

dan and phil have literally bought a house together (after planning it for three years!!), designed it from the ground up with total control over the entire floor plan, making it their perfect home to live and work in

im actually so emotional rn im so proud of them

[danapologist]

phannies WHAT'S going on!!!!

[danapologist]

sending you good vibes ~

[danapologist]

no amounts of social platforms could bridge this distance soon enough…

ft. two boys, 2009, and the yearning

[danapologist]