dalishbattleaxe-blog

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

Closing a Chapter

Finally coming to the very end of my high school career is... unreal. I feel as though I am closing a book that I spent years reading. A giant weight is lifting off my shoulders. There was a point in my life when I wasn’t sure that I’d get here. If I could go back and change things, I’m not sure that I would. The path that I have been on has led me to this exact place. For the first time in a long while, I’m proud of myself. I’m excited to see what happens next.

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

My irrational fears

I’m a very paranoid person. I have a lot of anxiety about things that don’t always make sense, and I’ve yet to meet other people that share my strangest fears.

I am absolutely terrified of sharks. And water. Specifically, water that is deep and that I cannot see the end of. Pools? Totally fine. Bathtubs? Cool. Lakes? Rivers? OCEANS? Nope, nope, nope. Can’t do it. Aquariums are one of my least favorite places to visit. Just the thought of all the creatures lurking in the dark depths creeps me out. I’m sure part of this is because there are so many organisms that we haven’t even discovered yet. And how massive that water creatures can be. Ugh, no.

On the more irrational side, I’m afraid of being in big houses. This is mainly when I’m alone, but they freak me out regardless. There’s too many rooms and places to be at once, and you can never know if they’re entirely unoccupied. What if someone broke into your giant house? They could be hiding anywhere... Needless to say, I preferred living in an apartment.

This kind of ties into my previous fear. Mirrors freak me out. This is particularly when I myself am not standing in front of them. If I can see a mirror from a different angle, I’m terrified that something in the reflection is going to move. Maybe not just mirrors, but reflective surfaces altogether, like the screen of a TV that is turned off. From my kitchen, I can see the TV in the living room and in it’s reflection is the couch. Since it is a dark surface, the entire reflection is dark and that makes it much easier for my eyes to play tricks on me.

I think I’m really just afraid of the unknown, of the things that I can’t see. 

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

The future

We all have our dream career. I hear a lot of people wanting to be doctors, nurses, dentists, teachers... It’s always something big and glamorous.

I have dreams of selling artwork, being a makeup artist for photoshoots, doing special effects makeup for movies, taking part in video game design, tattooing... But I know these aren’t always realistic. Currently, I am the assistant manager of a coffee shop. I’m aware that this is a decently low skill job, but it’s what I have for now. I’m grateful that my managers see me so fit for a higher rank. It feels good to have your hard work recognized, and I’m appreciative of the opportunity.

What I would really love to do, is get into medical aesthetics. Laser skincare, to be more exact. No, not a dermatologist. This will include removing scars, dark spots, wrinkles, hair, all that. I plan to stay at the coffee shop until I can go to school to become a licensed aesthetician. It’s something I’m really excited for. Being excited to go to school is a very foreign feeling, but it’s something I have so much passion for.

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

Tattoos...

I love tattoos. I love good tattoos.

Currently, I have seven, but have many ideas for future ones. I’d like to share them and their “stories”.

The first tattoo I ever got was on my eighteenth birthday. My mother and her at-the-time boyfriend paid for it as a birthday present to me. Months before the day came, I’d been thinking about what I wanted to get. Hours were spent in my art class coming up with possibilities. An hour glass? No. A hand mirror? No. Some flowers? Nope. And then I stumbled upon a picture of a lantern and something clicked. I was dead-set on having a beautiful lantern, so that’s exactly what I got. I knew it had to be perfect. I decided on an artist in Bloomington at a shop that my mom went to. My boyfriend at the time and I went to the shop to set up my appointment, and we had no idea what to expect. After meeting my artist, I knew I’d made a good choice. When the day finally came, my mom picked me up early from school. I was ecstatic. At times, it seemed she was more excited than I was. Man, was I nervous. The entire day I was anticipating the pain. The placement I went with was my left upper arm. The design is a neo-traditional lantern with a burning candle inside, surrounded by thorny red roses. My lantern is pretty decent size for a first tattoo, about the length and width of a fully extended adult hand. Overall, the pain was tolerable. Definitely hurt, but tolerable nonetheless. It cost $450 altogether if I remember correctly. Custom design

Less than two months later, my mom and I went to a shop in Eagan and got matching red and black butterflies on our left inner forearms. Size-wise, it is a bit smaller than the palm of my hand. In the future, I’d like the change this tattoo. My mother and I don’t speak anymore and I no longer wish to have matching tattoos with her. $50. Pre-drawn design.

My third tattoo gets quite a few compliments, probably because of the unique colors and visibility compared to my other tattoos. On my inner right forearm is a woman’s hand with a faded rose tattoo holding two paint brushes. Drawing and painting has always been a passion of mine and when I saw the design available at a shop in St.Paul, I knew I had to have it. I showed the other available designs to my best friend/cousin/roommate Kayla, and she found one she liked as well. She picked out a head of a fox. $120. Pre-drawn (but custom) design.

My fourth tattoo is my smallest. It is a cartoon-style bomb on my outer right ankle. The same shop where I got my butterfly done was having a Friday the 13th special, and my boyfriend (current) decided we wanted to go. That night, we got tattoos together. Not “couple tattoos”, we just got them done together. He picked out a cartoon-style nuke to go on his ankle. $50? $100? I don’t remember. Pre-drawn design.

The fifth tattoo I have is by far the largest! The image is a message in a bottle surrounded by flowers of varying colors and leaves. I returned to my first artist, as I trusted him to do such a large piece. This piece takes up the better portion of my outer left thigh. This. One. Hurt. Most people will argue that fattier places are less painful, but for me it was the worst thus far. The healing process was terrible, too! Such a large space that was so, so itchy and unable to be scratched. $550, custom design.

Sixth is my cutest tattoo! It is a red jewel in the shape of a heart. The artist that designed my lantern and message in a bottle posted the jewel on his Instagram. I messaged him quickly, asking if it was still available. Luckily, it was! He placed it just about my left knee. The pain wasn’t too terrible, but still unpleasant. I think this tattoo is adorable, and I’d love to get another gem tattoo in the future. This one cost me $220 if I remember correctly.

My most recent tattoo is easily my favorite. I love all of them, but this one is just so cool. The image is a black and gray battle axe, displayed on my inner left bicep. The axe hurt the worst out of all my tattoos. It’s pretty realistic. I love medieval weaponry and anything mythical fantasy. Not at all a feminine tattoo, but I could not care less. The talented artist was also the one that design my hand with the paint brushes. I’m planning on filling up my left arm before any other area. My favorite comment to receive on this piece is “that’s so bada**.” This one cost $120.

When I daydream about my future tattoos, the next piece I see myself getting done is a white rat with red eyes and a few branches with cranberries behind her. The rat is to symbolize my pet rat Sylvanas (Syl for short) that I lost recently. She was just over two years old (old for a rat) and was the sweetest animal I have ever encountered. She was not my first pet, but she was my first rat, and the only animal that belonged to me alone. Her and I had an amazing bond. She would never go to the bathroom outside of her enclosure, never bit, nothing. She was so gentle. Her favorite snacks were bananas, avocado, and craisins. I’d never peel a banana or dice an avocado without sharing with my rat-baby. I plan to place her on my upper left arm, where I can always see her. Another reason for this placement was that her favorite place to sit was my shoulder. She would always snuggle up to my neck and would sit there for hours if I’d allow it. My rat-baby would take naps with me, too. If I had her out after a long day and I fell asleep, she would stay put until I woke up (it was never more than an hour). I miss Syl so much, and I can’t wait to have her portrait on my skin. I never thought a rat would mean so much to me, but she stole my heart.

Another tattoo idea I’ve had for a while is a finch head. In sophomore year biology class, we learned about Charles Darwin and his theory of evolution. For a while, I wanted a portrait of Darwin himself, but then decided the head of a finch would be a much cooler and discreet representation of my beliefs (or lack thereof). I’d like to place this near Sylvanas, on my inner right bicep. 

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

I was waiting for this

On Wednesday night, I saw blink-182 for the first time. Just the thought of seeing them live was a far-off, intangible dream. And my dream came true. Never in my life had I been so excited. I was nearly jumping out of my skin! Blink is a band that has been with me since I was young. I was 14 when I first took real interest in the group. I was in a very dark place at the time, and their music was there with me through all of it. They helped me get through so much and wouldn't even know it. One day, I'll meet them face to face. Shake their hands. And I know I'll go on to bawl my eyes out once I do.I could listen to their songs all day every day and never tire of it. Seeing them in person was so unreal... and I want to be sure that I attend every show they place in Minnesota until they stop performing altogether. This band is so close to my heart and their show is something I will remember and cherish forever. Hearing all of my favorite songs live through large speakers...singing along at the top of my lungs... nothing compares to that. Though Tom isn't with the band anymore, it was still beyond amazing to see Mark, Matt, and Travis. At one point, Travis had a towel over his face and played a solo and absolutely killed it. The man is so unbelievably talented. After their set ended, we made our way to the merchandise booth. I wanted something to remember the night by and I didn't care what I had to pay. So, I went with a navy blue zip-up hoodie with their logo in orange on the back and "BLINK-182" on the front left of the chest. Needless to say, I haven't taken it off since purchasing it. I can't wait for blinks return next year.

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

Skincare

Since I was young, my complexion was always something I gave a lot of attention to. It was never something taught by my parents, but rather something I picked up on my own.

Throughout late elementary school, middle school, and (public) high school, I saw people my age struggling with acne and oily skin. Personally, I could not relate. I was always on the dry side, but still had clear skin. When I say “clear” I do not mean 100% spotless. I’ve always had underlying redness and a few very small bumps, but nothing crazy.

I maintained nice skin with regular upkeep. Washing my face once I wake up and before I go to bed at night is a routine to never, ever be broken. And moisturizing afterwards is a MUST. I do use face masks once or twice a week, but cannot do more than that due to my skin being pretty sensitive.

Since I moved out of my mom’s apartment, my skin has dried out so badly and I’ve been breaking out here and there. Before the move, I never had break outs. I’ve been assuming that they were from new laundry detergent, new pillowcases, new environment (at home and work), and stress from my promotion at work. Nothing too bad, just dry patches and at most, 3 breakouts at a time.

As time went on, my complexion calmed down and I stopped getting multiple breakouts at one time but I will get one or two here and there. After purchasing a humidifier, my room is much less dry and my skin feels and looks more hydrated. But, there were still some issues.

My facial cleanser seemed that it wasn’t keeping me clear like it used to. I’d been using the same cleanser since I was a junior (2013-2014) and it worked for me at the time. So recently, I was looking for new options. Something that seemed to be working for a lot of people, is African black soap and use of a toner after cleansing. I went out and purchased the two items as soon as I could.

After the first use, my skin looked refreshed. Smoothed, even. I’ve been using the bar of soap to cleanse after removing my makeup, rinse in warm water, and then pat my face dry. Then, I put a few drops of the Thayer’s witch hazel toner on a cotton ball and gently swipe it across my face, avoiding my eyes. The witch hazel removes anything I may have missed in the cleansing process and moisturizes. Once the toner dries, I rinse with cold water, pat dry, apply a Neutrogena facial moisturizer, then apply a small amount of pure vitamin E oil.

Since I made the switch, I’ve had no new breakouts and am seeing less redness along with less dryness. My skin is so glowy and soft and it has only been a week! I’m impressed. I hope to see further improvement as I continue use.

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

Warped Tour 2017

This last Sunday, my boyfriend Blake and I went to the Vans Warped Tour together for the first time. This was my third time going, but this was the most memorable by far. My two previous trips, I’d gone with a few friends and found myself uncomfortably alone on more than one occasion. But this year I had constant company and felt at ease. We left the house around 11:30am, stopped at a gas station to grab a few bottles of water, and we were off. Traffic. Was. Terrible. It always is on the drive to Warped. But, we arrived safely shortly after 12:00pm. We parked the car in the field behind the parking lot, slapped on some sunscreen, and made our way to the event. The music grew louder and louder the closer we got, and our excitement grew. We’d been waiting for months for this day! Passing through the gates, Blake recognized the song coming from the nearest stage. It was one of his favorite bands: The Acacia Strain. We’d missed their first song but still made it in time to see the rest of their set. After the performance, Blake and I made our way to the board that listed all of the bands and the times that they played. I saw that the two bands that I was the most excited to see, Beartooth and Silverstein, were playing a set together at this date. I couldn’t have been more excited! I’d never seen Beartooth live before, but had met and gotten autographs from the members of Silverstein at my first Warped Tour. The collision of the two bands could not have turned out any better. The voices of the two vocalists meshed so, so well. When Beartooth started their song “In Between”, I absolutely lost it. I sang every word along with them, not caring who heard me. 

At the end of the day, we were exhausted, sore, and sunburnt. Blake had purchased two new shirts, one from The Acacia Strain and the other from GWAR (hilarious performance from the latter, might I add). I, of course, had to get one from the Beartooth merch tent. I can’t wait for next year.

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

Harvest Moon - Skytree Village

HM is one of the first game series I ever took interest in. I’d started with the Gameboy Advance Friends of Mineral Town, and More Friends of Mineral Town. After getting into those, I’d rented the GameCube versions at the Blockbuster up the street from my old house, A Wonderful Life, Another Wonderful Life, and Magical Melody. I had never played the ones released for other consoles. Recently, I went to Discland and purchased Skytree Village for 3DS (which I also bought recently). I went into this game with high hopes, since I absolutely adored all of the Harvest Moon games I played previously. At first, I was a little disappointed. While the series’ style has always been cartoon-y, this game is the most so. The set-up of the village also varies quite a bit from other games but is the most similar to the GameBoy Advance with its loading screen as you change areas outdoors. Your farmland is an entirely separate area from your house, a new concept to Harvest Moon. I was a bit saddened that gift-giving was not incorporated into this game, as it was so prevalent in the others. In order to build a relationship with the NPCs of Skytree Village, you must talk to them continuously and do the favors they ask you to. Favors were not a part of previous games, not in this way. A single vendor to buy and sell items to was a concept that had been recycled from A Wonderful Life, where Van travels to town once a week for the player to mass-sell items to. I thought this was a creative way to replace the shipping bin from more recent titles. Not being able to buy your own tools is a bit...frustrating when there is a ore mine taunting you but you cannot even mine the ore yet because you must progress with the main story-line to obtain the hammer! I grew to love this game very quickly, but that may just be because the old ones are so close to my heart. If Natsume and Nintendo keep producing Harvest Moon games, you can bet I will be playing those, too. 

[dalishbattleaxe-blog]

First post - ESO

Two days ago, I purchased The Elder Scrolls Online for PC. I’ve been playing The Elder Scrolls series for over 4 years now, but hadn’t gotten around to ESO until now. I decided it was finally time! 

So, I spent the $30 and began installing the game immediately. The installation process took around 6 or so hours. I’m going to have to blame this length of time on not only my WiFi, but also the overall size of the game. I should’ve expected it to take quite a while, being a World of Warcraft player and having dealt with that insane installation process once or twice before. 

Yesterday, I started up the game for the first time. Character creation took about an hour. I chose a Khajiit Nightblade and launched myself into the world, landing in Coldharbour. Starting the game in a plane of Oblivion had me reminiscing about my first experience with the Elder Scrolls series. The concept honestly blew me away, as it was far from what I was expecting. Once I began gameplay, I started to feel as if I was playing WoW. ESO, to me at least, feels like a blend of WoW and TES. And so far, I am loving it. 

I enjoyed seeing concepts from Oblivion brought back into ESO, when they’d been lost in Skyrim. Don’t get me wrong, Skyrim is going to go down as one of my all time favorite games, along with WoW. The mesh of the two that is ESO has truly captivated me.

ESO has gotten quite of bit of negative feedback from TES fans, and while I don’t agree with it, I can understand why they feel this way. ESO is definitely very, very different from previous TES games. Interacting with other players isn’t something that had been incorporated into the series before, and it may be throwing off players. The lack of doors and loading screens has for sure taken me by surprise.

 I’m excited to see what all ESO has in store for me and other players as they continue expanding. As I delve further and further into the game, the more I’m considering splurging on the Morrowind expansion.