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[daleslight]

Would love to hear more about the Miss Congeniality Au!

ahhh miss congeniality au, my beloved!!!! 💖💗💞💕🩷❤️ truly, truly, truly i feel like this au could be so much FUN if i could find the discipline and motivation to just sit down and write it lmao. but i will say i v much enjoyed fitting all the pieces together for this snippet so here's hoping it awakens something in me askdjhf

i hope you like it 🥰

~

Eddie never imagined becoming a special agent. Then again, he never imagined becoming a single dad either.

But FBI work actually keeps him chained to a desk a hell of a lot more than regular police work used to and the pay’s better.

He’s regretting that decision right about now.

“Eddie, it has to be you.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, quickening his step even as Chimney continues to keep pace with him.

“It absolutely doesn’t, Chim.”

“The whole office agrees-“

Eddie stops short, whirling around. “Just because the little simulation version of me you drew up on the computer had an eight-pack-“

“My computer does not lie, Diaz-“

“I don’t have time,” Eddie cuts in. “I can’t be away from Chris that long.”

“It’s one week. Less, if you do your job right.”

Eddie makes a face.

It’s the stupidest thing he’s ever heard. A charity firefighter competition that he really thinks sounds a hell of a lot like a beauty pageant. Sure, there’s obstacle courses and stuff to complete but he’s not sure what a speedo competition has to do with being a competent firefighter. The cause is noble, he guesses, but there has to be a better way to raise money than deciding who’s the most specialist firefighter in all of Los Angeles.

Especially when the host – Captain Bobby Nash – is the target of a bomb threat.

It wouldn’t even have landed on their desk if not for the fact that three people with ties to Bobby Nash and the LAFD had received bombs in the mail over the last two weeks.

Athena thinks their best chance to take down the mail bomber is to have someone on the inside, to infiltrate the competition and investigate the contestants while also being the FBI’s eyes and ears throughout the week.

Hen and Chim, of course, volunteered Eddie for the job.

“I don’t like undercover work.” It’s an oversimplified version of the truth – that Eddie hates having to perform for an extended period of time and that this competition sounds like his own personal version of hell. Also, as much as he knows he’s in good shape, he doesn’t actually want people ogling his body for a week straight.

Chim gives him an incredibly unsympathetic clap on the shoulder. “Just use those big, brown eyes of yours and wow the judges with your salsa skills and no one will be any the wiser.”

Eddie opens his mouth to argue back when another voice cuts through their conversation.

“She said yes!”

He and Chimney both look up to find Hen running towards them, a beaming grin on her face. “Athena said yes! Better start practicing your poses, Firefighter Diaz.”

Well, shit.

-

Captain Bobby Nash has got a made-for-TV smile that has Eddie understanding why he got the hosting gig over every other fire captain in LA.

“Special Agent Grant,” he says, shaking Athena’s hand with a warmth to his expression that Eddie doesn’t expect.

Athena clearly doesn’t expect it either because she clears her throat as she pulls her hand back. “Captain Nash. This is Agent Diaz.”

Nash redirects his attention to Eddie, extending his hand once again. “Great to meet you. And please, call me Bobby.”

“You too,” Eddie says, flashing a polite smile and following Athena’s lead to take a seat in front of Bobby’s desk.

“So I take it there’s been some progress in the case?” Bobby asks, settling into his chair.

Athena purses her lips, exchanging a look with Eddie. “Not as much as we’d like. Given that we still don’t have a trace on the letter the bomber sent and the LAFD’s reluctance to cancel the competition, we’ve decided to send one of our agents in undercover.”

Bobby’s eyes immediately flick to Eddie and Eddie feels the ridiculous urge to straighten his posture. “I’m guessing that’s where you come in, Agent Diaz?”

“Not that we want to undermine the integrity of the competition but it will be imperative that Eddie makes it to the final,” Athena says. “It’s the best chance we have of catching the bomber if we can’t determine a suspect before then.”

Bobby leans back in his chair, regarding them both with an unreadable expression. Finally, he cracks a smile. “Well, he certainly looks the part.”

“He gets that a lot,” Athena snorts and Eddie ducks his head to hide the heat in his cheeks. It’s bad enough when it’s Hen and Chim ribbing him; he didn’t actually think Athena ever overheard them.

“Which firehouse is he representing though?” Bobby asks. “All of the contestants have already been chosen.”

Without missing a beat, Athena hands over a file that Eddie knows contains the fake details of his new identity. “Apparently the 133’s entry came down with an awful bout of food poisoning.”

Bobby accepts the manila folder with a faint smirk. “Well, that’s a shame.”

-

“Diaz. Diaz, do you read me? Over.”

Eddie rolls his eyes as he steps onto the bus ready to ship the contestants to the opening luncheon. “Yes, Chim,” he mutters under his breath. “I can hear you; stop yelling.”

“Remember to smile, Eddie.” That’s Hen.

How Athena thought they were the two best suited to oversee this, he’ll never understand.

He scans the length of the bus, looking for an empty seat. The whole place is overrun with burly men in too tight t-shirts talking animatedly to each other. It takes him a second to realise one of the men in question is waving at him.

He’s got curly hair and a golden retriever-esque eagerness to his smile. “Edmundo?” he asks. “From the 133, right?”

Eddie clears his throat and rearranges his face into a smile as he makes his way to the empty seat. Though calling it an empty seat feels generous when the firefighter all but shoves himself against the window to make room.

“How’d you know who I was?” he asks, genuinely curious. They only finalised the details of Eddie’s position in the competition yesterday and they made sure to leave any of his information off the official competition website.

“Oh I did a little deep dive on the other contestants but you were the only one who didn’t have a picture so I figured it had to be you.” He shrugs with an affable charm before offering Eddie a hand. “I’m Evan Buckley, with the 118. Everyone calls me Buck though.”

“He’s cute,” Hen says in his ear.

“Like a puppy,” Chim adds.

Eddie ignores them and shakes his hand. “Uh, you can call me Eddie,” he greets. Changing his last name was necessary; he refuses to go by Edmundo for the next week. It’s only then that he clocks the station number Buck said. “You’re part of Nash’s team.”

“Yeah,” Buck says, beaming with pride. “Bobby’s the best captain ever. You know some of these guys have it out for me because they think he’s gonna play favourites even though he’s not a judge. He’s just the host. But whatever, it’s not a big deal.”

The dejected look that creeps onto Buck’s face suggests it very much is a big deal even if he won’t admit it. Eddie feels a pang of sympathy. The guy seems harmless, even with all the rippling muscles. Then again, he’s not surprised a competition this testosterone-fuelled has people acting territorial.

“They just want an excuse for when you beat them in the first round,” Eddie says, mostly to fill the silence but also to get this Buck guy to stop looking so downtrodden.

He definitely doesn’t expect the way Buck’s whole face lights up in awe.

“You think I’ve got a shot at making it to the finals?”

The earnest hopefulness in Buck’s voice catches Eddie off guard and Hen and Chimney in his ear don’t help.

“Aww Eddie’s making friends!”

“Forget friends! Eddie, he’s cute; keep flirting with him.”

Eddie bites down on the urge to tell them to fuck off and makes himself smile at Buck instead. “’Course you do. Some of these guys are lucky they even made it this far.”

Truthfully, Eddie hasn’t even taken the time to look at anyone else on the bus all that much yet but the words tumble out of his mouth without permission. And in the face of Buck’s delighted grin, he can’t find it in himself to take them back.

“Thanks, man,” Buck says bashfully. “Hey, you have anyone to share a room with at the hotel yet?”

“Please tell me there’s only gonna be one bed,” Hen squawks gleefully in his ear.

“Uh I don’t know. Are they assigned or-?”

“They figured since most of us know each other we could pair up however we want but- um…” Buck trails off, making it clear no one has offered to share with him and well, it seems like he knows a lot about the other contestants. That could be good for Eddie. To get information and close the case. Obviously.

“Yeah, man. We can share.”

“Awesome!” Buck declares, slumping more comfortably in his seat and bumping his shoulder –probably accidentally – against Eddie’s. The bus gets moving then and Eddie takes the opportunity to scope out some of the other contestants.

It’s unlikely their suspect is another firefighter but not impossible.

“So how come I’ve never seen you at a scene before?”

Eddie blinks, redirecting his attention to Buck who’s looking at him curiously.

“Oh uh, I just transferred in the last couple of months.”

“From where?” Buck’s expression doesn’t look suspicious and Eddie has to remind himself not every conversation with a stranger needs to be an interrogation.

“Um, El Paso,” he says, immediately cringing on the inside. This man does not need to know any of his real life personal details.

But Buck only smiles again. “Cool. I’ll have to look out for you on calls from now on.”

And it’s not said flirtatiously or anything like that but Buck looks bashful again and Chimney is cackling his ear about how, “Eddie’s got a fan,” and Eddie’s stomach does a strange, traitorous flip.

But this is fine.

Everything is fine.

It’s just-

It’s going to be a long week.

-

[daleslight]

"she was Very Nice™️😇" "you're never gonna see her again😐"

[daleslight]

please join me in some imagery for a moment my friends come hold my hand. i am picturing. post-buddie canon. they are doing secret relationship for an episode.

and the whole episode they're like BARELY managing to keep the secret they keep getting Almost caught through various Situations and Hijinks (since this is 9-1-1 there's another plot going on and a bunch of different calls and the buddie stuff is sorta B-plot simmering in the background). but they successfully hide it the whole time and we're now in the final five minutes of the episode. they're having a cute kitchen moment at eddie's house and they kiss. things start getting a bit steamy and eddie pushes buck back onto the dining table (this is in a medium close-up they're both in profile) then we cut to buck (close-up) grinning up at eddie clearly thrilled at being manhandled. cut back to the medium close-up you can't actually see the table itself but you can see their bodies as eddie climbs on top of buck and leans down and their lips are a hair's breadth apart—

then with a loud snap and a crash, they drop out of frame entirely. cut to the black call screen, "9-1-1, what's your emergency?"

buck's voice. "maddie?"

maddie's voice. "buck?"

buck's voice. "shi—"

cut to black end of episode. thank you for coming on this journey with me love u all xoxo hugs and kisses <3

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this is genuinely the greatest advice out there. i don't even think there's anything i can add just read it again and again. from rainer maria rilke. aka chill :)

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This was so informative regarding Buck and Eddie’s attachment styles!

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you will feel so alive again.. like so incredibly alive. i dont know when that will be but it will be. u are gonna feel so alive that ur cheeks hurt from smiling oh man oh man i promise that day is coming. you do have a future, you do have good things coming, and you’ll survive everything that’s thrown at you until you reach that day

[daleslight]

once bitten, twice cursed

(buddie-ish) (620 words) (8x05 spec) spoilers from 6x05 stills. didn't manage a coda last week, so i humbly offer spec instead cw: mentions of spiders

Tommy opens Buck’s door, wide eyed and a little tense.

“Thank god,” he says. “You’re way better equipped to handle this than I am.”

Eddie frowns and steps past him into the loft. Buck’s seated at the table, face buried in his arms. He takes a few steps closer, and Buck’s head shoots up.

“No—no stay over there,” he says. “I might be contagious.”

Eddie huffs a soft breath. “It looks like a chemical burn, Buck,” he says, gesturing towards the angry, raised skin, “not usually contagious.”

Buck shakes his head frantically. “It’s not, Eddie! It’s a curse.”

Eddie closes his eyes for a moment. “Is this about the dead guy?” he asks, almost certain he already knows the answer.

“The what?” Tommy exclaims.

Buck looks at him and shrugs. “What did you think cursed me?”

Tommy blinks a few times.

Eddie raises an eyebrow.

“Not that!” Tommy says finally.

“Definitely not that,” Eddie agrees, “because curses aren’t real.” He walks forward until he’s right in front of Buck. “And even if they were, they wouldn’t be contagious.”

“You don’t know that!” Buck exclaims, leaning away from him. “It could get you too,” he says.

“Mm,” Eddie hums. “And even if that were true, I’d still want to take a look at that. So just—let me?”

Buck deflates a little. “Fine,” he says. “But! No bare hands. There’re gloves in the first aid kit.”

Eddie rolls his eyes but moves into the kitchen to grab the kit from under the sink. He places it on the table next to Buck. He opens it and pulls on a pair of nitrile gloves. “Alright,” he says, pulling a chair closer to Buck and sitting, “let’s see it.”

Buck turns his head toward the kitchen and bites his lip. Eddie brushes his gloved thumb just under the wound and leans in a little closer to examine it. “I’ve got good news and bad news,” he says.

“I told you!” Buck says. “It’s the curse.”

“It’s not a curse,” Eddie says with a light chuckle, “but it’s not a chemical burn either.”

“Still sounds pretty cursed to me,” Buck grumbles.

“It’s a spider bite, Buck.”

“Spider bite?” Tommy asks. Eddie glances over at him, then does a double take when he catches sight of his expression. He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“Yeah,” Eddie says slowly. He pulls off the gloves and stands, then holds a bare hand out to Buck. “C’mon, we’re going to the sink so I can wash your curse and put a Band-Aid on it.”

Buck huffs, but after a moment’s hesitation takes Eddie’s hand. “Fine. But you can’t complain when you get cursed too.”

Eddie pulls him to his feet and grins. “Nobody I’d rather share a curse with,” he jokes.

Across the table, Tommy stands too. “I, uh—do you think there are more?”

“Spiders?” Buck asks. “Probably. Did you know that one wolf spider can carry hundreds of babies on it’s back?”

Tommy goes even paler. “I—I’m. I need to—” he backs toward the door. “Bye!” he squeaks, and a second later he’s gone.

Buck’s brow furrows. “What do you think that was about?”

“Maybe the hundreds of spider babies,” Eddie suggests with a pointed look.

Buck blushes. “Yeah, uh, that—that might do it.”

“Now come on, let me clean that before the baby spiders imprint on you,” Eddie says.

“I don’t think spiders do that,” Buck replies.

Eddie rolls his eyes. It’s only as he’s tugging Buck toward the sink that he realizes they’re still holding hands. A small pool of warmth forms in his stomach. He doesn’t think about it, and he doesn’t let go until he has to.

[daleslight]

i love love love my deranged best friend buck buckley!!!!!! he has big giant muscles and a gymbro phenotype but he hates and is bad at sports. he tells the guy he’s dating that he’s doing keto :( but then immediately turns around and makes 14 trays of lasagna to be consumed by his husband and child in an elimination-style tournament. he has a quadruple digit body count but all he ever really wants is to be loved and held and listened to. he has never heard of rambo or tlc but could identify a rhinoceros beetle from a hundred feet away and then tell you sixteen different facts about it including its scientific name and the date of its classification. he struggles with authority but will literally kill himself and then you (in that order) if you try to deviate from his plan when he’s the one in charge. he tried to become a navy seal because he wanted to be a badass but then self-selected out because he realized his heart was too big and squishy to do the job. just :( and also :)

[daleslight]

Okay, but we all ready did misunderstand the gym scene in 704, huh? Buck says "I was thinking we should...we should get a hoop, huh?" after he got a ball for the station. He has a ball. Eddie knows he has a ball. He's not trying to get an invite, he's trying to make it so Eddie doesn't have to go to the game to play. He is not trying to go, he's trying to stop Eddie from going. He only decides on going after he sees Chim, we see the moment he decides to crash the game. He doesn't want to go from the start.

[daleslight]

he pulled up to the hospitalllll with buck in tow for some reason and his aunt said "who is this?" and eddie went this is Buck. the guy i work with at my new job i started like maybe a month ago. and she pulls buck aside and says "eddie cannot keep raising that child alone" and buck is like. ok i Understand. and I will be the child's stepfather. of course i will do this for Eddieguyijustmet.

[daleslight]

this method acting (might pay our bills)

(1.1k) (gen) 8x02 coda with spoilers from the 8x03 teaser. it's still thursday on the west coast, so i'm counting this as a same day coda. anyway brad torrence is a menace and i'm setting up camp in his brain

Let it be known to all, Brad Torrence takes his craft very seriously. So seriously, in fact, that when he’s called to a real emergency, he answers that call without hesitation. After all, what better to inform his performance than real experience? Tonight, Brad is a firefighter; he doesn’t just play one on TV.

His fellow firefighter, Buck, doesn’t seem terribly enthused about his presence. He generally seems to have a worried air about him, though, so maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with him at all. There’s a certain degree of vanity required in his profession, but he isn’t entirely self-centered. Honestly, he’s just glad that Buck doesn’t seem to be starstruck. That would make this entire situation far more difficult.

“Try Athena,” Bobby commands, but before Brad can ask for her number, Buck’s already dialing. That’s fine, he supposes. There’s no time to waste.

Brad’s not actually completely sure who Athena is. Someone important, obviously, perhaps his lieutenant? His character on Hotshots is a bit of a lone wolf, but maybe there’s something else there to explore. He makes a mental note to ask the writers room about adding a new character in the back half of the season, a lieutenant for him to butt heads and then bond with. They could even make it a bit of a will-they-won’t-they. He’s sure they won’t mind a few rewrites.

The phone rings twice, then, to Brad’s surprise, the call connects.

“Buck? Where’s—”

“I’m right here, Athena,” Bobby interrupts. His tone is magnificent. Calm but firm, no doubt inspiring nothing but faith in the woman on the other end of the line, whoever she is to him.

“Oh, thank god, Bobby,” Athena says.

Her voice is a bit garbled. It wouldn’t make for good television, but some concessions must be made for reality, Brad supposes.

“I’m on a plane,” Athena continues. “It’s—it’s not looking great.”

“Athena, if there’s anyone who can land a plane it’s you,” Bobby says. There isn’t a modicum of doubt in his voice.

“If there’s anyone who can land a plane, it’s a pilot!” Athena protests. Brad wishes he brought a pen and paper. Her comedic timing is excellent.

“She’s got you there,” Brad says, leaning forward until his head is between Bobby and Buck.

The look Buck shoots him is just shy of murderous. He’d be a terrible actor, Brad thinks. It’s all about focus and purposeful expression, neither of which seem to be at the top of Buck’s priority list.

“Who the hell was that?” Athena asks.

“Brad Torrence,” he says smoothly, “but you can call me Brad.”

Buck’s expression shifts from murderous to incredulous. Again, terrible actor.

“Don’t worry about him,” Bobby says.

He inflects his words with the tiniest hint of irritation. It’s brilliant – how better to redirect the anxiety Athena must be feeling into something more manageable. Brad only hopes he’ll be able to meet her in person once this nasty business is over.

“I’ve got plenty to worry about. He doesn’t even make the top ten.”

Buck snorts. Rude.

“Tell me what’s going on,” Bobby says.

“Air traffic control is directing us to LAX, but—Bobby, I’m not sure we can make it that far. The hole in the fuselage is getting bigger and our airspeed is dropping fast.” Athena sounds scared, desperate. Caroline could learn a thing or two from her about emotional resonance.

“Did—did you say there’s a hole in the plane?” Buck asks. His voice has a certain gravely, intense timber that Brad supposes would do well in some genres. Action movies, maybe, but not the high budget kind.

“What do you need from me?” Bobby asks before she can answer the question.

“Do you got a runway in your back pocket?” Again, brilliant comedic timing. She has that perfectly acerbic wit that any good heroine needs to have.

Bobby thinks for a moment. “Can you make it to the 110?” he asks finally.

“That, I think I can do,” Athena replies.

“Buck,” Bobby says, only it sounds less like his name and more like a command.

“On it,” Buck says. He twists around in his seat and looks at Brad. “Give me your phone.”

“My—why do you need my phone?” Brad asks. “You’ve got one right there.”

“Come on, man, now,” Buck says, all bite with no room for argument.

“Fine, fine,” Brad says. He slides his phone from the pocket of his turnout pants and hands it to Buck, who doesn’t even thank him for it.

Instead, he turns back to the front and types out a quick text before dialing a number. The call connects almost instantly.

“Maddie,” he says, “I don’t have time to explain. I need you to shut down the 110, get as much traffic off it as possible. We need it completely clear from Sepulveda to Torrance.”

The woman on the other end of the line doesn’t reply directly. “All available units, we’re shutting down the 110. Create roadblocks south of Sepulveda and north of Torrance. All traffic must be cleared between those exits.”

“Thank you, Maddie, you’re the best,” Buck says when she’s done. So, some people do, in fact, get thanked when they do something helpful. It’s fine.

“Is it Athena?” Maddie asks.

“Yeah,” Buck says. “They can’t stay in the air much longer.”

“Alright,” Maddie says. “I’ll coordinate with the IC over there, get triage moved as fast as possible.”

“I’ll keep you in the loop,” Buck says.

The line goes dead, and Brad’s expecting to get his phone back, but Buck sends another text and dials another number. This time, it rings thrice before the call is answered.

“Buck,” a man says on the other end of the line. His voice is warm and honey smooth. Brad should ask his dialect coach about that.

“They’re not—Eddie, they’re not making it to LAX,” Buck says, rushed and a little less polished than he was for Maddie.

There’s a short pause, then the quality of the sound changes. “Where?” the man—Eddie—asks.

“The 110,” Buck says. “South of Torrance. We need you over here, fast as possible.”

It’s odd, hearing his name this many times when he’s not the subject of the conversation. If this was meant to be a TV scene, it’d be far too repetitive.  

“Pack it up, let’s go!” another voice calls. She must be a captain, if the authority she speaks with is anything to go off.

“We’re coming,” Eddie says.

Some of the tension in Buck’s shoulders seems to bleed away. Interesting. “See you soon,” he says.

He ends the call, and Brad turns his attention back to Bobby. After listening for a moment, he realizes that they’re now on a conference call, and Athena is speaking to someone who knows a great deal more about planes than he does.

Brad closes his eyes and leans back. They’ll be at the scene soon. It’s time to visualize. As long as he stays in character, nothing can go wrong.

[daleslight]

A Demon

It's not that bad when you get used to it.

@goodomensafterdark see? Sometimes I do remember to tag you!

[daleslight]

[daleslight]

TOBY STEPHENS as James McGraw and RUPERT PENRY-JONES as Thomas Hamilton in Black Sails, Chapter IX.

[daleslight]

Buddie, 66!

They're at a touch tank at the aquarium, and Jee is scared of the sea anemones, flinching back against Eddie's legs. "They look spiky," she says, flailing an arm up into the air, totally confident that Eddie will catch her hand. It makes Buck's heart hurt, sometimes, seeing how secure Jee is, how certain she is that the adults around her all love her and are paying attention. Well, his heart hurts, but in a happy way. "They hurt to touch," she says, looking down at the touch tank, hanging onto Eddie's hand. Speaking of his heart hurting in a happy way. Buck didn't think Eddie was gonna say yes to today's outing, hanging out with Buck and Jee at the aquarium while Maddie hung out with a friend from college, but he did, and it's been this weird sweet pang in Buck's chest all day. Like, he's used to seeing Eddie being great with one of Buck's favorite kids, because Chris is one of Buck's all-time favorite people. But Jee is still so little, littler than Buck ever got to see Chris. And Eddie's so good with her. "I won't let you get hurt," Eddie says, crouching down to her level, holding one of her tiny hands in his and putting his other hand slowly into the touch tank, showing her that it's okay. "They're actually pretty soft."

"Not spiky?" "A little spiky," Eddie says seriously. The knees of his pants are getting wet; Buck can see the dark patches starting to spread. "But not sharp. Do you want to try again?" Jee thinks for a second, then nods. Buck takes a video for Maddie as Jee and Eddie reach into the tank together, and she gasps when she actually does touch an anemone, then gives a shrieking giggle when she touches it again. "Great job!" he praises her, and she beams up at him, perfect and triumphant at the camera, and Eddie looks up at him too, with a quieter smile. They're both kind of glowing in the outdoor touch-tank light. Buck's heart flips over.

When they're done with the touch tank, Jee asks to be carried past the shark exhibit because they're "too scary," and Buck automatically reaches down, but she's already tugging at Eddie's hand. Eddie picks her up and sets her on his hip, and she hides her face behind her hand as they pass the giant fiberglass great white. Buck and Eddie smile at each other, and their shoulders bump as they walk.

Once they get past the sharks, Jee hops down and runs over towards the big wall of jellyfish, and immediately makes friends with another little kid, both of them pointing at their favorites.

"Hey," Buck says, bumping Eddie's shoulder again, this time on purpose. "Can I ask you a weird question?"

"Since when do you ask," Eddie says, and leans into him, just a little. It makes Buck's skin happy. He doesn't know how else to describe it. "Well, it's kind of personal." They watch Jee shriek with laughter at one of the jellyfish getting close to her face.

"Again," Eddie says. "When has that stopped you?"

Buck's heart is hurting again, idiotic thing. "Do you, uh. Do you think you'd ever want another kid?"

Eddie's breath catches; Buck can hear it, even over the noise of the aquarium around them. "Uh," he says, and Buck's brain catches up with his heart, and he remembers that he asked Eddie to join them today because Chris is still in Texas, because he knew Eddie needed a distraction from thinking about his missing kid.

"Fuck," Buck says, quiet but heartfelt. "Sorry, Eddie, I didn't mean to—I just, you're so good with Jee. You're such a good dad, and I want—I mean, since the breakup, I've been thinking about—like, I'm in my thirties now, now's the time, right, but—I wasn't thinking." "Buck," Eddie says, and he sounds amused, thank god, not absent, the way he's been so many days this summer. "Breathe."

Buck breathes. Eddie reaches out and—strokes Buck's arm with two knuckles, down and then back up. Buck's back to not being able to breathe. Eddie isn't even looking at him. He's looking at Jee, who's turning around, looking for them. "You'll be a great dad," Eddie says, steady, easy. "No question."

Jee runs up to them, and this time she grabs Buck's hand. Eddie takes a step back, his hand falling away from Buck's arm. "Uncle Buck! I saw so many!" "What'd you see," Buck asks, and she smiles widely back up at him.

"So many jellyfish!"

They walk through a dark tunnel towards the sea otters, Jee a little scared of the dark and a little thrilled by it, peering interestedly at the blue light coming in from the windows that open into the sea otter tank. She walks right in between Eddie and Buck, holding both their hands, and Buck thinks about what it looks like, what the mom of that other little kid must think of them, and his dumb heart aches again. It hurts. It's so dumb, and there's a sweetness to it, but it hurts and hurts. "To answer your question," Eddie says in the dark of the tunnel. "Maybe."

Buck's head jerks towards him like Eddie yanked it on a string. Eddie's looking right at him, his whole face blue and shadowy in the underwater light. "Maybe?"

"With the right person," Eddie says.

Buck nods, his breath shaky. "Yeah. With the right person."

"Sea otters," Jee screams as they come out of the tunnel, dropping their hands to charge towards the viewing window.

Eddie holds eye contact with him for one more searing second before he ducks his head, a small smile on his face, and turns to head after Jee.

Buck follows both of them into the afternoon light.

[daleslight]

[daleslight]

Sometimes research is quite calming🙂‍↕️

to my fellow anxious friends please read this🫶🏻🫶🏻