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daichisnaps · 2 years ago

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this is the first fic posted on my new account, pls show it some love!!!

Love Song | Iwaizumi x Reader

genre: fluff, slight angst, soulmate au, college au

wordcount: 8.9k

warnings: none really, reader gets a lil drunk at one point but that's about it.

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You stand behind the counter of a small local cafe, halfway through your shift, and scan your eyes around the room. It's a quiet day, there are only four customers in and you haven't had anyone walk through the door since your coworker, Hitoka, walked in. There's a young couple around your age sitting at the window booth at the front of the building. They come here every weekend and you wonder if they're soulmates.

You have a soulmate, your soul link is basic, and anything you write or paint on your arm shows up on your soulmate's arm. The problem is that if you write your name or location it won't show up. you wrote your name once and they didn't answer, instead writing to you hours later with a completely different conversation. You want so desperately to find you soulmate, you fantasise about it often. It could be anyone in the cafe right now; it could be the pretty boy with dark hair who always comes in to study or the old lady who tells you old stories about her wife as you pour her coffee or maybe it's the middle-aged businesswoman who comes in to get a coffee every morning and tips you extra if she's in a good mood.

Speaking of soulmates, the skin on your arm tingles and you look down to see your soulmate has simply written 'hi'. Their messages are always direct one-word sentences or blunt answers to your questions. You imagine them to be calm and quiet which you wouldn't mind. You know you can be a bit of a rambler sometimes so someone who can listen would be ideal. You start to picture what your soulmate could look like when your wrist tingles again. They've written a question mark and you realise you were too busy fantasising to respond. You hurriedly respond with a shy 'hi' and an apology.

Their next message says 'wyd' and you tell them you're working. You have a basic conversation about work, it's nothing interesting but you don't mind, you're bored and will take any chance to complain about it. You find comfort in the familiar tingling stroke of a pen against your skin.

'give me a song?'

While getting to know each other, Your soulmate had confessed they didn't listen to too much music and wasn't familiar with a lot of your favourite artists. After some bragging from you, the two of you made music recommendations a regular tradition between the two of you. Music is so personal and sharing it with your soulmate makes you happy. you think for a second about what type of song to recommend.

'comfortable - h.e.r'

You watch your arm in anticipation of the song review you're about to receive. A few moments later you're met with a small doodle of a heart and it makes your heart beat faster. Maybe you're a little too delusional about someone you've never met before but it's your soulmate so you suppose that this is how it's supposed to feel. You recommend love songs all the time, you don't know if it's because you like the r&b genre, or because you're a sappy little shit. you have always believed that art, in any form, can bond people together. It's part of why you want to become an author.

"What did your soulmate say?" Hitoka's voice startles you, she's whispering directly in your ear as if the fact you have a soulmate is scandalous.

"I recommended a song and they liked it," you say bashfully. You're a relatively open person but telling people about a soulmate connection feels too personal. Maybe there's a little possessiveness to it, You want to keep this little tradition between the two of you.

The couple are the first people to leave the cafe followed by the old lady and then finally the boy who had been studying all day gets up to leave. He offers you a polite nod, making his old white earphones fall out of his ears, as he passes the counter on the way out.

You put your earphones in, ready to clean, and play the song you recommended earlier. Despite already knowing the song, you can't help but see it in a new light. It feels like the first time listening to it.

You let your 'soulmate' playlist play as you work. The playlist is full of songs that you've recommended to your soulmate over the last few months. As you close up and lock the cafe door, the playlist loops back to the song you'd recommended today. You pay attention to the lyrics this time and it makes your heart ache with want. you desperately wish you were going home to someone you love instead of an empty flat.

Whenever I get around you, I lose it

Lose it

'Cause I feel so comfortable with you

You make me comfortable with you

When You get home you get straight into Your pyjamas and start your night time routine. As you're finishing off your skin routine you feel your soulmate write again and they ask if you're still awake, you respond 'not for long' and then add a goodnight which they repeat back to you. Before you fall asleep, You draw a heart on your wrist and smile to yourself when you feel them drawing one back. You know they'll be gone in the morning so you won't get to see whether or not they actually drew a heart.

*********************

A few days later you have a day off so you fill it by going to the library, where you know you're likely to spend more time browsing instead of studying like you probably should be doing. It's cold and damp out but you find you quite like the weather this time of year. It's crisp and calm as opposed to the stuffy heat of the summer.

You let music drown out the surrounding crowd and begin to focus on the orange leaves lining the pavement. Most people would get bored of listening to the same playlist over and over again but you can't help but press shuffle on your soulmate playlist, there's something special about it that has you constantly returning to it. The collection of r&b and the occasional slow pop song covers you in warmth, like a blanket, and shields you from the biting wind that's starting to pick up. The songs on this playlist are only added if they're approved by your soulmate so you figure this genre must be their favourite.

The library has a cafe inside that you decide to stop at before wandering around. The coffee is good but it doesn't taste as good as yours, you think smugly to yourself. You almost drop the mug of half-decent coffee when the skin on your forearm stings slightly, indicating your soulmate. The speed at which you react to your soulmate is borderline humiliating as is the squeal that leaves your mouth on pure instinct. You see your soulmate has written a question mark, it's their way of checking if you're available to talk. You add another question mark next to the previous one to ask them what's up. You watch your arm, awaiting a response from your soulmate, so intently that you don't notice the pretty waitress standing next to you holding your order of waffles in her hand. At first, she looks pissed off that you made her wait but, when the words 'bored, work' fade onto your skin, she realises that the marks you're staring at aren't tattoos and puts down your plate while congratulating you on getting your soul link. Not everyone is born with a soulmate, some people's links show up later in life and some people never even get one. You feel blessed that the universe thinks there's someone out there so perfect for you that it needs to link you together.

You finish both your food and your conversation with your soulmate at a leisurely pace as you enjoy this time off. Your soulmate tells you that they're being bothered by loud kids so you assume that maybe your soulmate is a teacher or volunteer worker. It warms your heart that your soulmate seems to be such a kind soul. When you're finally ready to go, you scribble a 'gtg' on the last remaining spot of your left arm. On days when you and your soulmate are particularly talkative, it looks like you have full-sleeve tattoos.

you begin to wander around the library, the music in your earphones protecting you from the rest of the public as you stop to read the summary plaque in front of a table of copies of the most recent popular release. it's a kids book and it looks like a fun read if you're honest. You're soon interrupted by a gaggle of school children clamouring to grab their favourite book. You step aside without hesitation, look up to apologise to the staff member for getting in the way, and come face to face with the dark haired regular from your cafe.

"earphones guy" you thought you said it in your head but, judging by the amused expression on his face, you did not.

"My name is iwaizumi, most people call me Iwa, you're the coffee girl right?" he asked, branding you with a nickname similar to the one you'd given him.

"I'm y/n"

He gives a hum of acknowledgement before turning back to the kids.

"I'll see you around, coffee girl," he says and it doesn't just fluster you but leaves you with a feeling of familiarity that you just can't put your finger on.

"Yeah, see you on Monday" you smile, you know he comes in on Mondays for a solo study session. "bye, earphones boy" you respond, turning to wander off towards the local history section. You've always taken an interest in history, it's a wonder you didn't major in it. There's a book showing local wildlife that interests you and you spend an hour walking through the fiction. Sometimes the cover illustrations make you wish you'd been blessed with artistic skills but your talents lie in writing. you've been working on a short story for your current project: a collection of short stories detailing the different types of soulmate links.

A beautiful painting by a local artist from a century ago catches your eye, it's hanging on an empty space above a seat. The art depicts a person playing the piano while their partner dances in front of them. It reminds you of a music-based soul link you had researched where people would hear whatever song their soulmate was listening to in their heads. You take your pad and pen out from your bag and scribble out possible backstories for the couple in the painting, essentially brainstorming for a new story to add to your collection. You have yet to write anything about your link as you're waiting to find your soulmate first.

As you leave the library you pass by Iwa again and give him a small wave. He's sitting at a table in the cafe, clearly on his lunch break, wearing his usual old earphones. Though his exterior appears cold at first, he seems nice. You want to go back and ask for his number but you're far too nervous to do that so you wordlessly turn around and make for the exit. Just when you're cursing yourself for passing up the opportunity to make a new friend, something you hadn't done much of since you moved into the city for university, your right arm tingles. You contemplate taking your jacket off to respond immediately and then realise just how cold it is and decide against it.

When you do finally reach home you look at your arm to see 'today's rec?' written in the same perfect handwriting covering your other arm. You, unlike your soulmate, are not ambidextrous and you know attempting to write something intelligible that doesn't look like the work of a two-year-old is going to be impossible so you write out your song of the day on the only spot available on your left arm, the palm of your hand. You'd tried to wipe off the pen to make more room but the mark of what was written stays where it is until a new day dawns. After you write 'and july - heize' the best you can without smudging it on your palm, you start your nighttime routine.

****************

"dude you look like some kind of crime boss," says Mattsun as Iwa peels off his jacket. He grabs Iwa's arm and tries to decipher the scribbles all over his skin. Iwa jerks his arm back and away from his nosy friend.

"They were pretty talkative today" he shrugs, toeing off his shoes and slipping on his house slippers.

"So how was your shift at the library? meet your soulmate yet? Is that why you seem less asshole-ish?"

"I've been home for two minutes, how would you know if I was less asshole-ish," says Iwa flatly, unwilling to bicker with his best friend.

"It's about the vibes and yours are currently like 10% less rancid than usual" Mattsun looks proud of himself when Iwa sharply inhales as irritation rises. He enjoys riling up his seemingly stone-cold friend. "that number is steadily declining"

"Yeah, I wonder why that is," Iwa whispers under his breath as he enters the kitchen. Mattsun hears him loud and clear but chooses to brush off the comment and instead circles back to the original question.

"So did you meet them?" he asks, when Iwa rolls his eyes and shakes his head, another thought pops up in his head. "Did you meet someone else?" he asks, suggestively wiggling his eyebrows. he knows he's hit the nail on the head when Iwa grumbles a 'fuck off' at him. Iwa loves his friend but hates his need to be in everybody's business twenty-four-seven. The short silence is followed by a multitude of rapid-fire questions from him that immediately overwhelms Iwa.

"It doesn't matter how we met or how pretty she is. She's not my soulmate so my feelings don't matter." He snaps. He's conflicted about the soul link that you share. He thinks it's bullshit that he's emotionally linked to his soulmate and it can't be broken even if he falls for someone else but at the same time he likes to have a close connection with someone. He enjoys talking to them but the longer it takes to finally meet them, the less faith he has in love. "the universe has already picked so it doesn't matter if I like someone else"

"so you like this girl?"

"I've only just met her, so no"

"but you think you could"

"I don't know Issei"

"Okay…" Mattsun sighs, knowing Iwa is tired of this discussion and decides to switch the topic to something from the pretty girl at the library to something that usually cheers him up.

"so….what's today's song rec?"

Iwa tries not to smile when he notices his friend changing the subject to cheer him up and looks at his palm where you'd written the title of the song.

"I've never heard this one before, I'll listen to it later"

He did, he put it on as he sat in bed. He likes to have a little alone time to distress after a long day at work or school. He didn't speak the language of the artist you recommended so he looked up the translation like he usually does and felt his cheeks warm at the intimacy of the lyrics. He hopes so badly that he'll meet his soulmate soon and that they'll prove all his doubts wrong.

I’ll do anything for you yeah

From the long spring

To the summer that just came

Thinking 'bout, you baby, yeah

*********************

It's been a week since the library visit and Iwa finds himself coming into the cafe more often. He thinks about when Mattsun asked him if he thinks he could develop feelings before shaking them off because he's Hajime Iwaizumi and Hajime Iwaizumi isn't allowed to have feelings.

He's man enough to admit that he thinks you're pretty, the way you smile and call him 'earphones boy' when he walks up to the kitchen counter to order a caramel frappe gives him butterflies and the smell of your perfume when you lean over him to place his food on the table makes him feel dizzy but that doesn't mean he likes you, right?

He's kind of sad that there hasn't been much conversation between you two besides the occasional chat about the weather but it turns out that you're both equally awkward so it'll take a near-herculean effort for one of you to initiate a conversation.

You decide to break the ice one day when he walks in and right up to the counter. He takes a seat at the counter instead of his usual corner booth and you make your way over to him immediately, leaving poor Hitoka to deal with the small line of people getting their morning coffee before work. He looks up as soon as he catches you approaching in his peripheral vision and both of you push down the fluttering in your chests when you make eye contact. You don't even bother taking his order, you just ask him if he wants his usual as you've memorised his regular order. When you place the frappe in front of him you finally notice the song faintly playing from his earphones. It's an artist you love so you recognise it immediately.

"you listen to junny?"

"Yeah, someone I know recommended a song by him once and I went on a listening spree after that. He's really good"

"yeah, I wish he'd tour in Japan. I'd love to see him live" you sigh, resting your head on your hand as you lean over the counter to talk to him. Though you're in public and there are people around you, this conversation feels oddly intimate like nobody else could interrupt it. After responding to your statement with a hum in agreement he takes a second to admire your face, though if you asked him he'd tell you he was 'just zoning out from boredom'. He watches nervously as you stand up straight and turn around to get his food, thinking that maybe you think he's weird and don't want to talk to him anymore but you eventually speak up.

"what're you studying?" you ask loudly to make sure he can hear you as you move about behind the counter. He waits for you to come a little closer before telling you how he's a physiotherapy student and he's got some big exams coming up. "thats pretty cool" you shrug.

"So how did you end up working in a library?" you ask

"I needed extra cash, university is hard"

You offer him a sympathy laugh before holding up his plate. "I hear that, so what inspired you to take physiotherapy?"

"I played volleyball in high-school, I was really good at it too. I was an ace but I don't think the pro world is for me, maybe something more behind the scenes like a personal trainer" he says between bites of his lunch.

"volleyball is cool I guess" you hum, pretending to clean another glass to make yourself look busy

"it is!" Iwa stops himself mid-sentence, he flushes red in embarrassment as he realises how lame he sounds. You notice immediately and are quick to reassure him. "I'm sorry"

"don't be!" you chirp, with as much enthusiasm as you can, not wanting him to feel bad about having interests. "I think it's cute," he raised his eyebrow at your admission which caused you to stutter through your next few sentences. "I meant that your excitement about volleyball is cute, not that you're cute. I'm not saying you're not cute though, I just. uh." you scratch the back of your neck as your sentence trails off into an awkward silence. It's Iwa's turn to break the silence so he asks you about your personal interests and you tell him about your stories and how you're an english literature student. You're thankful that the heavy atmosphere has lifted and you can finally have a normal conversation with him.

When he eventually leaves Hitoka approaches you.

"What was all that about?" she asks, nodding towards Iwa as he leaves the cafe. "You two hit it off pretty well"

"We bumped into each other at the library last week and we've been talking ever since" Hitoka looks at you with a grin on her face, you know the question she's going to ask you before it even leaves her mouth. "no I don't like him like that, I haven't found my soulmate." She deflates upon hearing that.

"So you're going to let some doodles on your arm dictate your whole life?" Hitoka whisper shouts ."Why are you lying to yourself? I saw the way you looked at him. it was like watching two high school nerds work up the courage to ask each other to the prom"

You sigh, not wanting to start an argument at work. You have a plan; if you don't find your soulmate by the age of 25 then you put yourself out there and talk to other people. You just really don't want to let go of the idea that there's a person out there who perfectly matches up with you. If there really is someone the universe thinks is your perfect other half then you don't want to pass it up. You wordlessly look down at your arm, it's completely void of any writing except for the good morning greetings you'd exchanged when you first woke up. You still get your song rec everyday, and when you ask them why they talk less they say 'schools busy' which all but confirms your teacher theory, unless they were a student.

You go home with an odd feeling in your stomach, you're conflicted about the idea of soulmates. It makes you feel kind of down, you've always been enamoured with the idea that there is one true love out there for you but recently a dark-haired boy with muscles and a volleyball obsession has thrown a spanner in the works and made you question yourself. Everything you've ever thought about regarding love and soulmates is being put under pressure. So you do the one thing guaranteed to make you feel better. You grab a pen and take it to your arm.

'song rec for today? I'm :('

'by my side - junny'

Seeing the name Junny makes you pause. you think back to previous conversations you've had with Iwa. He was listening to Junny today in the cafe, he said someone recommended a song and you distinctly remember recommending your soulmate a song by Junny a few days ago. Your soulmate had said he was working with kids, you had assumed in a school but, the first time you properly spoke to him he was guiding kids around the library. Your soulmate had said school is busy and you know Iwa has exams coming up.

What if Iwa is your soulmate?

*********************

Over the next two weeks you see Iwa more often and end up exchanging numbers. He comes into the cafe almost every day, occasionally flanked by his equally buff roommate who seems to be warming up to you pretty quickly, and sits right at the booth. You try to ask him subtly about soulmates, trying not to scare him, but you get nowhere with the questioning. You've become quite close over the past few weeks and you find yourself relying on your soulmate less and less for that daily serotonin boost.

The next time you see him you're in the library, drafting an essay on gothic literature for your next class. You're sitting at the back of the library, people prefer to sit by the big windows so you usually get the table to yourself, there's a large bookshelf blocking you from view of the other library users.

Iwa doesn't notice you until he's standing next to you, looking down at where you are studying. He always sits at the back table, in the very seat you're sitting in. He figures, by the way a soft laugh leaves you, that he looks startled, he didn't expect to see you here. You remove your earphone to talk to him and he does the same with his new headphones, he must have finally replaced his worn out earphones, slipping them around his neck.

"fancy seeing you here" your voice comes out higher than expected and you clear your throat.

"You're in my seat" he deadpans. since you've been more comfortable with each other and he knows it isn't going to hurt your feelings he's been enjoying teasing you. Being a little mean is in his nature and, to some extent, it's a form of affection from him. Mattsun often asks him if he enjoys being an emotionally constipated asshole. Yes, yes he does.

"I don't see your name written on it" you respond, rolling your eyes. The more the two of you have gotten to know each other, the more sarcasm and bickering he's able to draw from you. You're usually sweet to him so he enjoys it when he sees a more aggressive side of you show through the cracks. He purposely provokes you into bickering with him because he thinks the way your eyes narrow and you pout at him is cute. "Just sit here" you huff, kicking the seat opposite you. Iwa stops himself from smiling at you and takes his seat opposite you. He takes his time setting up his stuff as you go back to work, slipping your other earphone in and pressing play on your study playlist.

**************

It's been almost an hour since you started studying together in a comfortable silence. You've glanced up a few times to look at both his face and his playlist. Every glimpse of his music taste pushes you further towards the theory that he's your soulmate.

He catches you staring and your cheeks heat up. You're about to defend yourself when a familiar voice speaks from behind you.

"Hey! I promised Iwa that I wouldn't let him overwork himself into a nervous breakdown again so I'm here to chaperone him"

Iwa shushes Mattsun who had shown up completely out of blue and caused a bit of a disruption to the other library-goers. You let out a small laugh under your breath at the antics of the two friends.

"What are you laughing at?" Iwa asks, balling up a bit of scrapped paper and throwing it at your head with pinpoint accuracy. Naturally, you react as if he'd just literally shot you in the skull and dramatically flop down on the table.

"Oh so when she's loud and dramatic it's funny and cute but when I do it's annoying" Mattsun sighs, shaking his head in mock disappointment.

"I never said she was cute"

"hey!" you say, pretending to be offended.

"Don't worry, coffee girl, he told me you were cute after we bumped into you at the grocery store a few days ago," says Mattsun, sitting back in his chair with a smug expression as he watches Iwa's face flush red. You briefly thought back to that embarrassing day when you had literally bumped into Iwa and spilt milk all over the floor. You had tried to play it off as a joke and like you weren't mortified but Iwa had taken it upon himself to talk to a store employee to save you the embarrassment, throwing a quick "you owe me one" over his shoulder as he went. He walked around the rest of the supermarket with you, bickering over which brands of specific foods are better, and even attempted to pay for your stuff when you weren't paying attention. A shiver runs down your spine as you mentally re-live the situation.

"great. now she's remembering how embarrassed she was-" Iwa starts.

"dude stop"

"I'm sorry, I was just gonna say it must have been humiliating for you to drop that milk everywhere"

"If you don't stop I'm gonna dive across this table"

"maybe if you weren't such a klutz -" you cut him off, throwing the pillow you'd been sitting on at his face which he catches with ease.

"ugh, you two are disgusting. if only you were Iwa's soulmate" laughs Yamaguchi, only stopping when Tsukki's face drops into a frown. He doesn't want you to know about his soul link, he doesn't want to scare you off. You, on the other hand, are hopeful that maybe your hopes would finally be realised.

"You have a soulmate? what's your link" you ask, tilting your head. You're ready for him to show you a 'good morning' scribbled on his arm but instead, he says something you didn't expect.

"if they're eating something, I can taste it in my mouth" he responds, going back to writing in an attempt to kill the conversation. You feel crushed. He's not your soulmate. You struggle with meeting people let alone forging connections with them, it saddens you that one of the few people you've bonded with isn't meant for you.

"Oh, I hope you find them. I have to go" you hum, stuffing your studying materials into your backpack. "Same time tomorrow?" you ask. You receive a nod of affirmation before walking around the corner and out of the library. You're not too upset about not being his soulmate, it's not like you're in love with him, but you're frustrated that you're still soulmate-less.

As soon as you leave, Iwa snaps his head toward Mattsun, looking the most visibly pissed off he ever has, who just stares back at him in confusion, wondering why he had lied to you about the details of his soul link. Iwa would never tell his best friend this but the reason he lied is that he thinks that you'd think his actual soul link would be too strong to ever pursue a relationship. He lied to you to make his link seem less intimate.

He decides at that moment; he hates the idea of a soulmate. He's so filled with anxious questions that he doesn't hear Mattsun softly apologising to him. All he can think is 'what if I find my soulmate, really like them and then 6 months later I realise the only reason we were even together is that the universe told me to and I don't even love them' or 'what if I do fall in love with my soulmate but they don't trust that I can be good enough because they think I'm only with them out of duty to the universe'. His haunting thoughts kept spiralling, eventually leading to a wave of venomous anger on the subject of love and soulmates. He makes a pact with himself that he won't respond to his soulmate in order to save both himself and them from hurting. He goes to sulk and carries on with his studies when feels his arms tingle. He tries to resist the urge to look at it but he can't help himself. He looks down to see a song title written on his arm.

'normal girl by sza'

He briefly looks up the lyrics and lets out a sigh, feeling guilty for not responding. He guesses his soulmate is having a bad day too.

I wish I was a normal girl, oh my

How do I be, how do I be your baby?

*********************

"earphones guy"

"coffee girl"

You take your designated seat opposite the brunette. This is your third study date in a week, your grades are getting better but your mood is not. Your soulmate has been blanking you for the better part of a week and it's making you rethink your views. You still write a song recommendation every day just in case but the radio silence from your soulmate freaks you out. You try to push back your thoughts but you're not a master at hiding behind sarcasm and wit. Your emotions are clear as day as soon as he looks up at you.

"Everything ok?" he asks. Based on the conversation last week, you'd say he was having soulmate troubles so you decide not to burden him with yours.

"just tired, this essay is kicking my ass"

"You're smart, I'm sure you'll be fine."

You've finished the latest short story for your project but you're not sure about the ending. You decide to subvert the expectation of them being together like in your last two so you go the tragic route.

Your story tells the tale of two young women, fated to each other, who communicated via music. You had written them to find each other, to take solace in music together and eventually fall in love with one another. Then you decided to kill off the character who was more optimistic about love, leaving the partner who was initially a sceptic to mourn her beloved. Admittedly, the death of your character was a bit of an overreaction in response to the absence of your own soulmate. You're not sure it's right and as you glance over the text you feel as if it's too dark and gloomy, the other side of you think this is a good change of pace from the overly sappy rom com vibes of your other works. you decode pretty quickly that you need a second opinion on your work.

You look up at Iwa, who’s typing furiously on his laptop. Just his presence makes you feel better, you deeply wish that he could be your soulmate. He feels you staring at him and looks you in the eyes causing you to splutter and look away before looking back up at the sound of his laugh. It's the happiest he has sounded all day and you can’t help but join in.

“Was there a reason you’re staring at me?”

“Uh yeah, I’m not sure about the ending of this story. Wanted a second opinion”

Before you even finish your sentence, Iwa takes the notepad from your hands and immediately starts reading. You feel awkward at first, you've never really let anyone other than your professors read your work, so you stand up and ask him if he wants anything from the vending machine. You take a slow stroll to the vending machine suddenly feeling insecure about your writing and not wanting to watch him read your writing in fear that he'd hate it and not be able to control his facial expressions.Ten minutes later you returned to see him more than halfway through your story. “Are all your stories this depressing?”

“No” you sighed, placing his drink and chocolate bar in front of him and slumping into your seat with a defeated huff. “The other two stories in this series are cute love stories with happy endings, i wanted to do something a bit different with this one-”

“So one of these characters remind me of you, is she a self insert?”

“Not exactly” you respond, slightly embarrassed at how easily he's seen through your writing. He nods slightly, going back to reading.

“So this is more a reflection of how you see yourself?” He asks, trying to understand your motivations. You shrug and lean back in your seat.

“I guess so”

He doesn’t respond, instead, he finishes your story in silence. You avoid looking at his face until he clears his throat to get your attention. He hands you back your notepad and he seems a lot different compared to the usual sarcastic asshole you've come to appreciate.

“You're a really good writer” he says, heat rushes to your face as his sincerity flusters you. “Just so you know, I think you deserve a happy ending.” you're not sure how to respond so you just let the silence settle and hope that someone as observant as Iwa can feel your gratitude. You finish your drink from the vending machine while he packs away his study equipment. “Let me walk you home?” he asks, you just nod and the pair of you set off on your journey home together.

When you reach your flat, you invite him inside but he rejects the offer, insisting that he needs to go home to his best friend and roommate who will, in Iwa’s words, have a middle-aged mother style breakdown if he's not home by nine-o-clock.

Iwa feels guilty, he knows the two of you have a connection that would hinder your journey to find your soulmate. Part of him wants to be selfish and say ‘fuck your soulmate’ but he can tell from your writing how much you’ve longed to meet your soulmate and doesn’t want to get in the way of that anymore. He’s coming up with a plan on how to help you when his arm goes from tingling to straight up stinging. The words written on his skin are sad and angry, he knows he's caused these feelings and it hurts him to see.

‘Why are you ignoring me?’

‘I hate you’

‘I’m sorry, if I hurt you’

‘It hurts so much’

The sight overwhelms Iwa and he tries to decipher whether his soulmate is drunk or hysterical. He grabs a pen and writes his first message to his soulmate in a week.

‘I’m sorry’.

Then he recommends them a song, something he quite honestly missed doing.

‘For the first time - mac demarco’

No, I know she's coming home soon

There are times I find it hard to feel that way

It's not inside me to forget her

Just understand how I'll be feeling on that day

*********************

It's been almost a month, and you’ve had complete radio silence from Iwa. He isn’t coming into the cafe to sit at the counter anymore and every time you ring him, it goes straight to voicemail. You gave up blowing up his phone with messages about a week into his sudden disappearance. Your classes are in completely different buildings and he either quit his job at the library or changed his shift pattern, so you don't even know if he’s still going to school and to make it all worse, you can’t even get in touch with Mattsun.

On a slightly happier note, your soulmate seems to be slightly more active recently. Your drunken tirade seems to have kicked their ass into gear. While you appreciate that you are regaining your soul connection with them if all feels meaningless without your recently acquired best friend. You miss Iwa and no one, not even your soulmate, can overshadow that. No one else is comfortable enough to joke around with you the way that he is and, even though it was often directed at you, you miss his smart-ass comments and dry humour.

You consistently replay that final study session in your head to see if you can figure out what happened and whether or not you did anything wrong. So far all you're remembering is the sincerely sweet and yet kind of awkward conversation about the content of your stories. He had told you that he believes you deserve a happy ending and you think that maybe, as silly as it sounds considering you haven't known each other that long, he could be your happy ending.

“The atmosphere around you has changed without your little bestie with you,” says Hitoka, whose inability to read the room and act appropriately is extremely impressive. You just sigh in response and turn around to make your next customer's order. You can't believe how empty you feel. In hindsight, maybe you have fallen in love with him and there's nothing you can do about that. Even though you should be focusing on finding your soulmate, you just can't bring yourself to care without Iwa there to see it. It's not that you're dependent on him or anything, it's just that he's the first real connection you've made since moving out of your parents house so losing said connection for seemingly no reason is taking a bit of a toll on you.

“He's just going through something right now, I'm sure he’ll show up when he's ready,” you say, putting on a smile that you were sure Hitoka could see right through.

“How’s the soulmate thing going,” she asked, trying to change the subject.

“They seem to be more talkative these days, it's like they suddenly got over whatever fear they had about our connection. I don’t know why they avoided me but I'm glad they’re getting back to normal.”

************

Iwa throws himself into his education and works as a distraction. Despite Mattsun constantly telling him what a horrible decision it is to ignore you, he feels he's doing you a service by getting out of the way so that you can go after the soulmate you so desperately want. He figures he should probably make an effort with his soulmate too. Now that he's out of your life, he doesn't have to acknowledge the feelings he spent years pretending he wasn't capable of and he can go back to pretending to be independent.

He’ll never admit that he knows Mattsun is right or that he misses your study sessions and cafe meetups. He doesn’t understand how a few months can take you from just a pretty barista who used to say hi sometimes to a constant presence that he needs in his life. In his mind, love should be the emotional equivalent of a long trek up a mountain where you're rewarded for your hardships, not a trip down the stairs that leaves you slightly dazed. When he’d said this to Mattsun he’d gotten the reply “No, a relationship is where compromises and hard work come in. Falling in love is the easy part, that's why they call it falling”

Iwa hates it when Mattsun is arguing with him and starts to make sense so, at the time, he'd just given a dismissive scowl in response but now he feels his friend may have been onto something. The more he tries to move on from you the more he misses you and it gets to a point where he can't even show up for a shift at the library without being reminded of you.

He looks down at his wrist to see his soulmate has doodled some kind of creature, it reminds him of the doodles all over your notepad.

‘What is that?’

‘It's a cat.'' He snorted at their response, that drawing could've been many things but a cat it was not.

‘Looks like a deformed alpaca’

‘YOU look like a deformed alpaca’

‘That was mean’

‘You're mean

If there's one thing Iwa is good at, it's riling people up and he's glad his soulmate reacts the way they do. He likes people who fight back and have a feisty side.

‘Give me a song rec and I'll forgive you

He scrolled through his playlists trying to find the right song. He tries to ignore that all of the songs paint pictures of you and picks a random song to reply with.

'c u girl - steve lacy'

'I love that song'

So do you, he knows because he saw you listening to it during a study session. He sighs and scribbles a good night on his arm. He speeds through his nighttime routine and then gets fully ready for bed. He finds himself drifting in and out of slumber for about an hour before he can settle down properly. His mind has been crowded and confused for the last couple of nights and it is causing him to lose sleep. He finally starts to relax and fall asleep when Yamaguchi comes barrelling through his bedroom door, still decked out in his winter coat and beanie, dragging you along with him. He's about to yell at Iwa, for bringing you here when he vowed to stay out of your way, when Iwa cuts him off.

"I found your soulmate"

"WHAT?"

*********************

It's about 15 minutes until closing and the bell above the door ringing causes you to groan, not in the mood to deal with a customer this close to closing time. What you weren't expecting was to be met with a sad-looking Mattsun.

"Hi Issei, what are you doing here?"

"I'm here to see you, we have to talk," he says, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. You've never seen this nervous before, he can't even look you in the eye right now. "it's about Iwa"

"Is he ok?" you ask. You're slightly angry about him completely ghosting you but you're still worried. Mattsun shrugs his shoulders and looks down at his feet. Your anger at Iwa starts to die down when you begin to internally panic about something being genuinely wrong with him.

"He's hurting" That makes you frown and you immediately start packaging strawberry muffins in a to-go box for Mattsun to take home to him.

"Please take this home with you so he knows I still care, and that I'm waiting for him" Mattsun looks guilty for a second but takes the box from you anyway. When your arm is outstretched your sleeves roll up slightly as soon as he registers the familiar handwriting etched into your skin he grabs your wrist and pretty much pulls you halfway over the counter. He pushes up your sleeve to see the conversation he'd watched Iwa and his soulmate have earlier this morning.

"no fucking way"

"What?"

You hear a gasp when Hitoka, who apparently has psychic powers, immediately understands what Mattsun is talking about.

"take her, I'll handle closing by myself"

"TAKE ME WHERE?" you yell, trying to decipher what's going on but you only get time to grab your coat before you're pulled out of the door and into his car.

"Iwa's such an idiot"

"you still haven't explained what this is about"

"you'll see"

"you just kidnapped me-"

"you'll be fine"

You relent and lean against the window, trying to think about what the problem was, Iwa has already told you his soul link so it's not like the two of you are soulmates. A few minutes later you arrive outside an apartment building.

"Home sweet home"

As soon as you step out of the car Mattsun grabs hold of you once again and drags you into the building. You were still utterly confused, trying to ask him what was going on as he pulled you up several flights of stairs.

"could we not have taken the elevator?" you ask, panting and out of breath.

"broken" he mumbles under his breath. You watch as he fights to get his key in the door and ushers you into the flat when he's finally successful. He all but kicks down the door to what you assume is one of the bedrooms. The door swings open and he pulls you in. You realise you're in Iwa's room when the man himself sits up in his bed and rubs his eyes to properly see the scene before him. Finally seeing him blanks your mind completely. He looks like he's about to open his mouth to yell but he doesn't get the chance before Iwa cuts in.

"I FOUND YOUR SOULMATE"

"WHAT?!" you both yell, looking at him in disbelief.

"Are you crazy? He told me his soul link is to do with food, not this" you say pointing at your forearm. This causes Iwa to finally move as he gets out of his bed and walks up to you. He reaches out to flick on the light switch and when you see his forearm it suddenly all clicks into place. You see the doodles and words identical to the ones that decorate yours. He hears your quiet gasp as your eyes focus on his arm.

"Show me yours," he says, he sounds more serious than usual but you can hear the subtle hopefulness in his voice. You slip your coat off and Mattsun grabs it from you and leaves, shutting the door behind him. You roll up your sleeve letting him run his fingers over the markings. "it's you," he says "you're my soulmate" he whispers tentatively, as if he doesn't really believe it. You're feeling so many feelings at once, the main two being happiness and confusion.

"Why did you lie to me?" you ask. He looks guilty and drops his head.

"I really liked you, and thought you weren't my soulmate so I lied to make my soul link come across less intimate so it wouldn't scare you off. Then when I read your story I could tell that you had a soul link and that you longed to meet them. I thought I was getting in the way of your happiness so I avoided you to let you move on and find your real soulmate." He says, refusing to look back up at you. Your heart warms at his admission. Though you think about how ridiculous it is that this all could've been avoided if he had just been honest about his link in the first place. You have to grab his face to get him to make eye contact with you. He thinks you're about to yell at him and scold him for lying to you but his stomach fills with butterflies when you smile reassuringly at him.

"I can't believe you would risk your own happiness for mine" you sigh, running your thumb over the skin of his cheeks, which you notice are abnormally warm. Is it shame or bashfulness? you wonder.

"That's what you got out of that? I was a complete asshole and you're spinning it into -"

"No, Hajime" he immediately stops at the sound of his first name leaving your lips. "you were trying to protect me and my feelings, you're a lot sweeter than you give yourself credit for," you say. You want to be mad at him for lying, avoiding you, and making you unbearably sad but you just can't find it in you right now.

"I am not sweet" he grumbles and it makes you laugh, a sound that makes his stomach flip. You're glad he's making his typical sarcastic jokes again. You use your hand placement to pull him into a kiss. The kiss feels exactly like cheesy romance novels and bad Internet fan fiction describes those magical first kiss moments. It's a world-stopping, firework-setting, butterfly-fluttering kiss that has you gasping for air. It's a little messy and you can tell Iwa is a little inexperienced but it's perfect at the moment. It feels right, you feel a serenity wash over you as your heart begins to feel at peace, with no more yearning, and no more heartbreak. Iwa feels the same if the way he's kissing you breathless is anything to go by.

When the two of you finally break for air Iwa hums, trying to keep himself from grinning.

"Are you ok?" you ask, realising he's gone quiet. He nods in response.

"yeah, I'm just…happy"

"me too" you agree, pulling him back into another kiss. He breaks the kiss to ask you to stay the night which you automatically agree to, letting him lead you to his bed.

"Stay there, I'll find something for you to wear to bed," he says, walking over to his drawers and searching for sweats big enough for you to wear. They're a little long in the leg but they're comfy so you pull them on and climb into bed with your soulmate. When you're finally settled in bed, he throws an arm around you and kisses your head.

"yn?" he asks, filling the silence.

"yeah?"

"I'm sorry, for lying to you and making this a hundred times more difficult than it needed to be" he sounds so genuine it makes your heart squeeze.

"it's ok, at least we're together now"

He can't argue with that so he presses another kiss to your head and settles in as close to you as he possibly can. You do the same, ready to finally fall asleep in the arms of your soulmate.

"Just so you know, this isn't just because we're soulmates. I'm choosing you of my own free will, I'm with you because I truly like you not because of some message from the universe" he adds. It's true, he's wanted you long before he knew you were soulmates. He knows in his heart the connection you've forged is real.

"I know, I choose you too" you reply, pressing a kiss to the nearest patch of skin you can.

*********************

You wake up the next morning in Iwa's bed and when you realise the other side of the bed is cold and empty you look next to you to see a note.

hey coffee girl,

I had to leave early for work but I didn't want to wake you up.

Come and meet me for lunch?

(ps. check your arm)

love,

earphones guy

You can't help but squeal into the pillow as you read the note. You can't believe you finally have your soulmate and it's somebody you already have feelings for. You don't think you could be any happier right now.

You look down at your arm to see he's left you a song recommendation

'love song - nct 127'

Especially today, I want to wander around and get more used to these streets

Ooh, where is that pretty cafe from the other day?

I can't remember well

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

this is the first in a series of soulmate aus, please consider reblogging my work! it's much appreciated! I also love seeing comments!!

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