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Okay here’s how some ideas to adapt bard’s lament in TLOVM S3 if we had to keep this same story structure generally and end on a hopeful note but also allows the season to have actual interesting inter party conflict.

— At one moment in ep 1/2 where Scanlan talks to Kaylie he mentions his mother. Kaylie wants to know more, but Scanlan is too drunk and a mess to continue the conversation. Maybe he even says that he never talks about her — no-one ever asks, but again he’s too drunk to continue the conversation with Kaylie who is annoyed by this

— then episode 6 happens. Pike says he can go, so Scanlan tries to say that he wants to leave to find his daughter. The rest of the group are angry, there’s more pressing things right now, they’re a team, can’t this wait? Scanlan feels dismissed especially since he let them spend a night in his chateau.

— They return to Whitestone. The city is being attacked by dragons. Scanlan tries to help, but is severely hurt by dragon fire. Like head to toe burns. He’s hanging by a thread, Pike works for hours to keep him alive. It’s painful. (This way it’s a really traumatic moment for Scanlan like his death without being a death.)

— Scanlan finally wakes, maybe early ep 7, and then the Bards Lament breakdown happens. He and Percy especially snap at each other. He says they don’t care bout him, what is his mother’s name, he just wanted to see Kaylie.

— he asks Allura or Gilmore to transport him away to Kaylie. VM allow him to leave, Pike is hurt by him leaving, rest of VM more angry.

— we see in ep 8 Kaylie and Scanlan meeting. She’s happy that he came to find her. He plays her his song and he apologises for being a bad dad, but he wants to be there for her.

— Then Percy dies, and Thordak fight happens without Scanlan (just rework his contributions to another character (maybe Vex and Grog?))

— during ep 10 we see Scanlan and Kaylie in a bar together, chatting, where they hear that Thordak has been defeated, but the Lord of Whitestone is dead. Scanlan voices his regrets that now Percy died thinking he didn’t care, that he wasn’t there for the funeral, that the group now thinks he doesn’t care. He can’t fix it.

— Kaylie: ‘your loyalty to those weirdos is one of the endearing things about you. Go to them, don’t leave it like this. You fixed things with me.’

— I think if Scanlan isn’t in a coma it makes VM falling apart in ep 10 more realistic. Instead of only Grog and Pike caring to stay with Scanlan, the team splinters as Percy is dead, Scanlan willingly left, are they even Vox Machina anymore?. (I think you could rework the whole Ripley end fight to have more of VM but I’m just doing Bards Lament, so sure Vex and Vax go fight her alone.)

— Scanlan and Kaylie make the journey back to Whitestone (maybe via a cart, or a joke aboutdrunk wizard who only gets them half way). Either way they don’t get to Whitestone immediately.

— now he can either be back for the Raishan fight, and help out there, or Scanlan can come back just in time for Percy’s resurrection. Maybe it’s really hard — Gilmore and Allura are also helping out Pike and Keyleth, but they need a little more magic, Orthax is sooooo powerful — and then another pair of hands slams onto the resurrection circle — Scanlan has come back in time! Percy is res’d, Scanlan apologises for how he left, they all apologise for taking him for granted, but they soothe those hurt emotions.

— they then all part on good terms like how s3 actually ends.

I don’t think Scanlan is super needed for Thordak or Raishan since he killed Vorugal in s2. If he left midway through s3, his absence would be felt through the second half, so it’s nice to actually see him back in the last episode.

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whoops

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It is the height of delusion and self-absorbed narcissism that Hogback believes that Cindry--the person who has told him many times that she hates him and wishes he would die--is ecstatic to be "alive" and under his control.

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Like Absalom, there's something terribly real about Hogback's obsession, right down to the depression he falls into after Cindry initially died. I actually like that he wasn't the one to kill her. It adds the teensiest bit of complexity to his character, and while not said directly it makes sense that after being powerless to bring the person he "loved" back to life that he'd jump at the chance at joining someone like Moriah. Hogback wants to be known as the man who has conquered death, he wouldn't make this huge speech trying to convince Chopper about his ability otherwise, and it's easy to see how that obsession might have come about. There’s even some symbolism of this corruption in his character design, as he goes from wearing all white when Cindry was alive to all black after bringing her back from the dead.

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By specifically using the world miracle to describe his experiments, Hogback is shifting his work from the scientific to the divine, taking on the role of God to the corpses he's reviving from the dead. And as God, he demands perfect obedience from his creations. It's important that throughout this monologue Hogback barely refers to Moriah at all, despite the fact that he would be nothing without his power, and specifically states that it's Cindry's looks and obedience that attracts him to this twisted, unnatural version of the person she was when she was alive, the version of Cindry that had the temerity to spurn his so-called "love".

This attitude mirrors the Celestial Dragons quite well. They base their godhood on what they--or more accurately their ancestors--created, demanding wealth, power, and submission from the masses of humanity that they rule over with a cruel and iron fist. They themselves have done nothing special, just like Hogback managing to stitch a bunch of corpses together is not the thing that brings them back to life, but demand the life and souls of their citizens all the same.

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This has absolutely nothing to do with this scene but is at least tangentially related to the Thriller Bark arc so I'm gonna share it anyway. The word galvanize is an eponym derived from Luigi Galvani, who was a scientist and physician in the 18th century who helped pioneer the field of bioelectricity when he discovered that he could make dead frog legs move when ran through with an electric current, with later proponents of his work going so far as to shock human corpses attempting to bring them to life. This breakthrough would in part inspire the creation of Mary Shelly's Frankenstein, which, some two hundred or so years later would in part inspire Thriller Bark.

So in a way I guess you could say Hogback has galvanized these corpses, albeit with shadows instead of electricity, forcing them to move without recreating true life.

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The lil' ellipsis from Robin speak volumes despite her silence.

And this is interesting because Dr. Kureha also charged astronomical amounts of money from her patients, so it's not practicing medicine for material gain that upsets Chopper, or even the fact that he didn't care about the patients he did help with his surgical skill. It's the fact that Hogback's a liar and a fraud whose work would be meaningless without the help of Moriah's devil fruit, who's deluded himself into thinking he's a genius who can bring the dead back to life. That's the reason Hogback is no longer a doctor in Chopper's eyes. I'm sure the other stuff doesn't help, but at least in the past Hogback was actually practicing medicine. All he's doing now is forcing a bunch of meat puppets to dance to his will

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Sometimes I cope by drawing wholesome things.

Sometimes I cope by diving deep into despair.

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Honestly, a not-insignificant contributing factor to my mid-20s gender crisis is that I used to think I was viscerally repulsed by playing as male characters in video games, but eventually I realised it was literally just playing as smarmy brown-haired thirtysomething dudes with an emotional range running the gamut from dull surprise to generic rage that put me off, and basically every other sort of male player character was fine. It's just that this happened to be when the Uncharted series was really taking off, so a solid 50% of all male video game protagonist fit that mould! Nathan Drake sucks so much that he made me question my gender, is what I mean to say.

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While you're analysing the Thriller Bark arc I must confess I love Moria and the hypocrite that he is.

As we know Moria got defeated so badly by Kaido that he lost his crew and chin that he decided to have a crew of just zombies so he never has to feel the pain of loss every again

But then he raises a young child for at least ten years to the point he has a spoiled daughter that is loyal to him to the point that despite at least two years of separation still tries to save him.

And then we have Moria himself being a hypocrite as he ventures into a Pirate Emperor territory just to save a crew mate. And then when he learns that Absalom is dead tries to avenge him by fighting a pirates emperor crew. So much for keeping people at arms length Moria

there are a lot of enemy groups in one piece that don't get along with one another, but the Thriller Bark crew isn't one of them--hell, later in the arc Absalom invites Hogback to his wedding. For as much as he's a lazy asshole I think part of that falls back on Moriah's leadership.

I bet he had a really fun crew to be on before Kaido rocked his shit.

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This is one of the few gags I feel is improved by the anime

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”where were robin and stussy in the newest chapter” doing THIS, obviously

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Uh, the actual request part of this one should hopefully get done soon. Voted on by the Patreon!

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I really enjoy how one piece theory youtubers are locked in an arms race to create the worst looking thumbnails and clickbait titles ever seen

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Preorders available, dial 1-800-073-NAMI on your transponder snail now!

bonus:

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I love how Oda splits the scardy cat trio from the rest of the crew. It's the best of both worlds, with the comedy of showing the crew both being and not being afraid, with an extra layer of humor from highlighting the difference between the two groups.