cyberclawz

[cyberclawz]

The sudden yelling snapped her out of her thoughts, her name echoing in her mind for a moment before she actually managed to move. Following the sound of frantic footsteps, Duchess stood before Azina, shivering from the cold, her hair and fur damp from the rain.

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

Duchess stood awkwardly in the cemetery waiting, her red eyes flitting around, constantly checking her surroundings. Every little noise, every movement in the corner of her eye, all of it was getting impossible to ignore. She hoped Azina would come get her soon, she didn't know how much more she could take.

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

okay.. mnn.. thank you

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

mmn yeah I can see it

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

mmn I was at the library and I just- i dunno i kept seeing it and- i just ran and kept running and now theres um.. a cemetery i think and its all wet and scary

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

please

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

I dunno where I am and my head hurts and everything's so loud and I wanna go home but home doesn't feel like home so where do I go

[cyberclawz]

head hurts.. make it stop..

[cyberclawz]

Sat in her apartment, curled up in the corner of her room, Duchess reread Azina's texts over and over.

A therapist. A stranger.

Of course, she had spilt her life story to Azina willingly, giving details she maybe shouldn't have at the time. But this? This was different. The things she had told Azina were in the past, things that couldn't have been helped - but the murder of her father? That was fresh in her mind, sinking right into each crevice of her brain, burning the memory in each fold.

Suddenly, the silence of the room felt unbearable, the harshness of it becoming almost painful. She had to go somewhere. Had to do something.

And so, she tossed her phone aside and left the apartment without it, heading out into the cold night air. She had no plan, no real destination - she went wherever her feet decided to take her, counting every step along the way.

56, 56. 57, 57. 58, 58..

Passers-by were nothing but colourful blurs with eyes that poked and prodded at her very being, and the little cat had to force her gaze to stay fixed to the sidewalk, the awful feeling of being watched crushing her.

They're all staring. They know what I did. Every single one of them. They know what I did, and they're going to hurt me. I'm going to be hurt. Can I hide? How many alleyways are there? Where do they all go? Just keep walking. Don't look, they'll speak to you. Don't look, that invites them in. Move your arms when you walk, you have to look normal, you have to pass as normal. Am I walking weirdly? Can they tell?

The liveliness of Gothams streets were a strong contrast to the silence in her apartment, but nothing seemed to make her feel better. Air was too thick, cars were loud, angry monsters with glowing eyes that threatened to blind her, people were talking, always talking, the talking never ended.

Everything's so loud, it hurts. I can't breathe. Talking, talking, what're they saying? Why are they laughing? They're laughing, and they're laughing at me. They're talking about me. I've done something wrong. I should-

When she finally looked up, Duchess found herself standing in the library.

The Library. The place where it all happened.

If she stared long enough, the scene replayed itself over and over again in front of her. Nothing was really there, obviously, but it all looked so real - like she could reach out at any moment and stop it all before it came to its inevitable crescendo.

But she can't. She can't reach out. She can't stop it. Duchess is forced to watch it play out again.

[cyberclawz]

I know i know.. I told you it was just dumb stuff

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

mmn I know.. it's just a lot. its scary and I dont like it. i dont like being complex. I wish everything was just.. like computer code. everything makes sense and it does what you want it to and you cant misinterpret.

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

its fine just stupid stuff. like.. how am I supposed to think good things about myself if I do bad things? and what if I cant be good again because the bad things I did are really really bad?

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

nothing, doesn't matter- I'll think of stuff to say in the meantime

thanks mom

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

mmn yeah but-

okay, I'll prepare for a session.. or try

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

if you say so

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

whenever they're free I dunno- i don't wanna be a bother

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?

[cyberclawz]

mmmn okay- they seem nice

Hey kid how are you doing since we got back ?

I won't let my gf get out of bed today I need my cuddles

But I want to know what you're up to

@demonsnever-cry

ummnn.. im okay

I went to the store I guess-

but how are you? what're you doing?