cupidpony

[cupidpony]

because (hopefully) someone needed to hear this:

♡ your f/os would not at all blame you for your abuse.

♡ your f/os would never say that you "allowed" for the abuse to happen or that you were "spineless" and "in need of a backbone".

♡ your f/os would make sure that you feel safe and sound away from your abuser and would never do anything that will make you feel unsafe.

♡ your f/os would never ridicule you, shame you, or question you for speaking out for your abuse at all. they will listen with their full attention and will give you all the love and care in the world.

♡ no matter if you were groomed, abused physically/mentally/emotionally, if you escaped the abuse early or later on, your f/os will protect you. even if you were scared to speak up. even if you fought back against your abuser.

♡ you are not at fault for your abuse; you never will be and to those who say otherwise are nothing but vicitmblamers. your f/os love you to the moon and back and will do anything to keep you away from harm.

[cupidpony]

i apologize for never being active on this blog 😭 i might? maybe talk more selfship stuff here but i promise i will mostly be quiet since the community for selfship is. still raw on my old wounds.

[cupidpony]

shout out to selfshippers w bpd. your f/o is there with you through everything, every emotion, no matter how confusing and difficult it can be for you and them both. they know you’re trying your hardest, and they’re so proud of you. they’re always patient and gentle with you, and they aren’t intimidated by you or your feelings. they understand, and they love you, so so much.

com/proship & kink blogs dni.

[cupidpony]

Not to sound psychotic but that fictional character does love you. I'm so deadass

[cupidpony]

i love black self shippers so much i really want to make this community a safe and fun place for them instead of a lonely battlefield

[cupidpony]

(drafted this post back in feb 27 but modified a bit before posting)

this post really makes me want to talk about the phenomenon i've observed on self ship tumblr specifically where men are so hostile to other self shippers who ship/share with their male f/os because they perceive them as an immediate threat and "ew a girl".

i understand being incredibly irked when a character is canonically gay or very heavily implied to be and women ship with them or are getting shipped with them. i agree it's disrespectful as fuck when people ignore canon or heavily implied identities just bcz they wanna be self indulgent.

but also, sometimes your misogyny is just so blatant.

i understand being protective of gay headcanons. but headcanon is not canon, nor is it necessarily "coded" or "implied". and some people simply like spreading misinformation to accuse people, specifically women, of being homophobic.

and even when it comes to characters who are canon gay or implied/coded, i've seen self shippers go "ew a girl" at another self shipper, and you look at that other self shipper and they're just. someone who uses she/her, or presents feminine (sometimes overtly), and they're not even necessarily a woman. yet they get labeled as a cis woman and their self ship with the gay character is treated as a "het ship perpetuating homophobia". you aren't being slick, that's just blatantly trying to misgender other people. nonbinary people, gnc trans people, unlabeled people, people who are trying to figure out/questioning their gender, and the like... they all don't owe you, a stranger, jackshit or an explanation for why they are "allowed" to ship with a character. and they sure as hell don't deserve to be misgendered on the basis of "ew, a girl ships with my f/o".

and the root of the misgendering stems from how people think it's okay to use "woman" or "girl" as an insult and weaponize it. people can be so casually misogynistic in self ship spaces even now. even if a self shipper is a cishet woman she's not immune to misogyny she can experience from other self shippers. and some self shippers brand others as "cishet woman" in their minds (or even worse, brazenly out loud) regardless of whether or not it's true, because then they think it means they can make that self shipper a target, someone they can talk down to because they think oppression works like pokemon type advantages and rock paper scissors. even trans men are not immune to behaving like this, whether it's a conscious effort or not. in fact, i'd argue there's a lot of unchecked misogyny from trans men in self ship spaces.

people don't have to say the exact phrase to make it clear the way they think is "ew, a girl ships with my f/o", by the way. "it makes me uncomfortable when women ship with my male f/o" is, to be blunt and frank, a you problem if your f/o is not canonically gay. it's something you should examine on WHY you think like that, exactly. you are not immune to being misogynistic. think about what you're saying about women self shippers (or those who you perceive as women while blatantly misgendering them because you think somehow them being labeled as "women" makes it free game to condescend at them) and take a step back and examine how you word things. especially if you're posting on your public blog where other self shippers can see. "don't be misogynystic" doesn't stop just bc you're posting on a personal blog.

this isn't a vague, this isn't "pointless drama/discourse", this is based on observations i've had for the past few years. nobody is immune to being a misogynist and examining the way you think and perceive others, especially if it's out of jealousy, is important. otherwise that way of thinking might go unchecked and can get worse. do better.

[cupidpony]

happy birthday to my friend Pony!!!! featuring angel's toon Artie and stylized design of Misty!!

[cupidpony]

anyways, self shippers who are uncomfy with doubles are so cool and valid actually/gen

[cupidpony]

your f/o will always be understanding of any mood swings and will always stay by your side

[cupidpony]

[cupidpony]

I like idiots ok

[cupidpony]

ykw im gonna swing at the wasps nest again bc i havent seen anyone talk abt this yet

THIS COMMUNITY IS COLORIST AS HELL

the complete saturation of light-skinned f/os, light-skinned shippers getting more attention, people not even KNOWING if they have black followers and mutuals, people not having dark-skinned examples on their commission sheets and not knowing how to draw curlier hair textures and facial features more reminiscent of darker-skinned people, I SEE ALL OF IT.

its not enough to just say you support us or say that all skin colors are beautiful. like. this month ALONE i have had the misfortune of seeing exactly how performative all of you are, valentines day shit gets TRIPLE the attention of black history month shit yet everyone flocks to my posts and LIES and says they wanna support black shippers! yall have to actually DO SHIT to show we matter, and the reason you might NOT have darker-skinned followers and mutuals is because yall NEVER DO SHIT TO MAKE US FEEL WELCOME AND SAFE!!

[[DO NOT LEAVE ANY TAGS, COMMENTS, OR REPLIES ON THIS POST ALONG THE LINES OF THE FOLLOWING: "IM WHITE BUT", "THIS IS SO IMPORTANT", "WE NEED TO DO BETTER", "I NEVER NOTICED THIS", "I DIDNT KNOW." IF YOU DO YOU WILL BE FLAMED BY ME ON THIS POST.]]

[cupidpony]

black selfshippers, your f/o would never let someone tell you that something isn't for you because of your blackness.

🎀 if someone tried to tell you that something is 'not your color' because of your skin, your f/o would deck them and then immediately prove to you just how amazing you look in that color

🎀 if someone tried to tell you that a certain hairstyle wouldnt look good with your hairtype, your f/o would roll their eyes and help you do your hair exactly how you want and remind you not to care about dumb opinions like that

🎀 if someone tried to tell you that a certain fashion style could never look good on you, your f/o would absolutely obliterate them and remind you that your body and your life are yours and that as long as you feel confident in whatever you want to wear, you look amazing

🎀 your f/o wouldn't let anyone tell you what you can and can't do because of your blackness because your f/o knows just how spectacular you are and that your shine should never be stifled by the opinions of those who know nothing

{pro/com/darkship dni.}

[cupidpony]

can I just say. robot F/Os (or other characters who don't have articulated mouths or lips) leaning in and making a cute little kissy sound instead of actually kissing you. either as their genuine approximation of kissing, or just as a lighthearted tease ;__; it's so cute

[cupidpony]

Selfshippers who ship with weird/unappealing characters. I love you. Like hell yeah you go get with Mr Crocker. Go get with lord faarquad

[cupidpony]

black selfshippers, your f/o loves your artificial nails. whether theyre acrylics, press-ons, long and vibrant, short and more toned-down, they love all of it.

your f/o loves your weaves and extensions too, they don't care if it isn't your real hair. they're so excited to see what new look you pull off, they're ready to be surprised time and time again when they thought you couldn't possibly get more stunning.

{pro/com/darkship dni.}

[cupidpony]

because (hopefully) someone needed to hear this:

♡ your f/os would not at all blame you for your abuse.

♡ your f/os would never say that you "allowed" for the abuse to happen or that you were "spineless" and "in need of a backbone".

♡ your f/os would make sure that you feel safe and sound away from your abuser and would never do anything that will make you feel unsafe.

♡ your f/os would never ridicule you, shame you, or question you for speaking out for your abuse at all. they will listen with their full attention and will give you all the love and care in the world.

♡ no matter if you were groomed, abused physically/mentally/emotionally, if you escaped the abuse early or later on, your f/os will protect you. even if you were scared to speak up. even if you fought back against your abuser.

♡ you are not at fault for your abuse; you never will be and to those who say otherwise are nothing but vicitmblamers. your f/os love you to the moon and back and will do anything to keep you away from harm.