cumslvt666

[cumslvt666]

reap what you fucking sow.

[cumslvt666]

Vivo ergo sum.

I live therefore I am.

I am continuing this on the 12th of november at 3:36 am 30 hours before my birthday. This occurrence is to no aim of my own, but rather upon the urge to get something down and spill my mind out. The phrase I have typed out before this almost begins this piece perfectly. Perfect for the soon to be celebration of my birth and existence. “I live therefore I am” it's such a simple phrase that is nothing short of verbatim. This brings me to the one excruciating determinant inside my head currently. That being, what has my life amounted to in the short span of 19 searing years, If I died on the day of my birthday I would have quite literally had nothing to show for these past few years. Not a single trophy, certificate, milestone or acknowledgement let alone accomplishments.For the life i have been gratefully given i have done nothing astonishing or astounding. I fear I'll leave this earth without owning anything but my name. For what do I owe my own reapings for what I do not sow? I’ve spent countless years owning up to my own shortcomings and that of others in which I am not entitled to. The reciprocation of individuals is the downfall of my own predicaments. From everybody I have presented my raw state to, I'm owed an apology, an apology which should have never even presented itself to begin with. From me to you don't count on the words of others when your mind is a library against illiterate beings.

[cumslvt666]

For my mother

Hey momma. I’m sorry.

I’m sorry that tonight you have to sit alone in the void that fills your own home. You were never meant to sit on your own in the dark.

Momma i’m sorry that i can’t get you out. I’m sorry that you fight this on your own.

My airy character to you, I wish I could adorn.

For you I wish i’d never been born. To cease to exist at the glory of your triumph without my parasitic being.

For you mother I’d chose no other. Why would I ever bother with such sovereign selflessness as my maker about.

I love you mother. I truly do. For you, my mother, I’d give the moon and stars. For you, my darling mother, I give myself in essence and life.

I’m sorry mother.

[cumslvt666]

Your kisses burned vilely onto my lips, a blistering and jarring burn that even the most unruly of flames could never replicate.

I smoke to remember those nights you kept me and my mind company. The smell of you always warm and hazy.

The smell of smoke embedded into the deepest part of my mind. I seek no sanctum of you, just the glory of feeling your gaze upon my figure anew.

One last drag and the smoke diminishes away with the rest of my memories of you.

Flick the butt away. I win this time. This time I was the one to flick you away. Except it’s not you. Only the mere memories that I only hold as i know you have long departed yourself from me.

Memento me dolore.

[cumslvt666]

ego en magno dolore. auxilium.