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be it that kennedy could be cruel at times, his true friends, his lovers, the people he cared about often saw the much better side of him. his words could turn to knives when slighted, but kennedy doesn’t have a rotten heart, just a need to protect himself, and deep down most of that is rooted in the fact that he cares. he’d been quick to anger when he’d felt like christopher was taking back what he’d led kennedy to believe: that he was ready to move forward, make a milestone, be serious. how was he supposed to react to that now that he was hearing all of it was a mistake? especially when christopher is here confessing that kennedy is the person he loves most? “ you could’ve said something. explained yourself, i don’t know. anything so i wouldn’t have to think you didn’t want this the same way i did. ” he’s not angry with christopher, because he knows he never asked the right questions to prompt that conversation. he’d come in hot and defensive, hurt when he hadn’t showed up. instead of hearing him out, kennedy had jumped to the worst possible conclusions and made them fact. “ i know i didn’t say the right things either, i didn’t give you a chance.. ” he sucks in a breath, throat tight with emotion as he looks down, eyes glossy. “ of course i thought you didn’t care. why was it so easy to think that? why didn’t we talk about it the way we should have? ” he gnaws at the inside of his cheek, part of him already longing for that momentary bliss they’d had before kennedy had addressed real life as it were. but there was no ignoring it, at least not for long, and kennedy fears the more he gives in without remedying things, the worse he’ll be in the morning. “ i was a mess for weeks, i’m still a mess, and it took this to get us to talk again. we can’t get back together if we can’t work through shit, christopher. it’s not going to work. ”
christopher should have known that his actions weren’t going to be swept under the rug . he had treated kennedy unfairly , and he had done so at a time which would have been major for their relationship . meeting the parents was big , huge even , and christopher had always admired how much kennedy talked about his parents when they were together . he liked to listen as he was told about what his parents did on a regular basis , and the pedestal that he put his parents on . it wasn’t unheard of for christopher to get nervous , but why did it have to be then ? why did it have to be when he wanted to progress his relationship with kennedy and show him that he was serious ? his teeth dig down into his lower lip , and he feels his face become warm before he slips from kennedy’s lap . he pulls his legs in close to his chest , and wraps his arms around them as he prays that the red in his face will go down . ‘ when we got into that fight , i tried to tell you , kennedy . i’m not making excuses and i’m not trying to make it sound like any of this is your fault . i tried telling you , i wanted to tell you , but i shut down when you starting jumping to conclusions that i didn’t have the chance to correct . i shouldn’t have done that to you , and i’m sorry . ’ his head tilts slightly when kennedy looks down and he can’t stop himself from crowding the other’s space again . ‘ after our fight , i thought there was no way i could have fixed what i messed up . every time i saw you , i knew how much i hurt you and i didn’t want to do that again . i did though , when we decided to break up . ’ he reaches to touch kennedy’s cheek again , silently telling him to stop biting at the inside of his cheek . christopher nods slowly at kennedy’s words . ‘ i know we can’t pick up from where we left off , ’ he says softly , pressing a soft kiss against his temple . ‘ and i know we can’t . i know we’ll have to be more open with each other , but i want us to be . i want to be with you again , but only if you’ll have me . ’
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without real warning, things had taken a serious turn, and now the two of them were barreling down a hill without any way to throw the situation in reverse. perhaps the timing wasn’t the best, or maybe it was. maybe they’d needed an excuse to talk again, to see that both of them wanted the same thing, and that it wasn’t to act like strangers. kennedy went from talking to and thinking about christopher from sun up to sun down, to only interacting with him in a heated debate at their student association meetings. and kennedy had had flings here or there, dipped his toes in before with something more stable, but christopher had been his first serious college relationship, and going from opening his precious future to ships passing in the night had been more brutal than he’d admitted. the tears are something kennedy has seen plenty of, but it doesn’t tug at his heart strings any less. with a gentle press, he swipes a few rolling down with the pad of his thumb, eyebrows furrowed. they’ll have to talk about this tomorrow. they would. because there were still bridges to mend, whether they fell victim to this moment or not. “ we did, though. you did. ” there’s a lump in his throat he can’t seem to swallow, edging at the unsaid. the kiss is charged in a way that feels foreign, though not unwelcome, and kenny finds his hands settling on christopher’s hip as he slides over him. muscle memory. they’re close enough that their noses are nearly touching, and kennedy’s fingers curl in the hem of christopher’s shirt. suddenly, he feels nervous. if he opens this can of worms after pulling open old wounds, it may not end in his favor. could he handle that? he feels he doesn’t have a choice. giving into affection is one thing, but whispered confessions of regret, the desire to kiss and make up.. kennedy can’t do it, not without clearing the air. “ you bailed on me before. with my parents, chris. we couldn’t talk our way out of that. i thought i understood things better. understood you better.. but if i don’t, won’t it happen again? ” meeting the parents had always been a big one in kennedy’s mind –- for someone that put his parents on the pedestal of god, he’d been quick to feel wounded when christopher hadn’t followed through on their plans. tumbling into an argument that led to something kennedy hadn’t expected, but was too prideful to say he didn’t want. the sting of rejection had kept him from speaking his true feelings, but there was no avoiding it now.
it was only a matter of time before someone addressed the elephant in the room . there wasn’t a moment where chris assumed anything other than the fact that he was the cause of their breakup . his choices had been the tip of the iceberg , and their relationship only descended into an abyss they couldn’t climb out of . the soft tightening that had been occurring as they talked had seemed to deflate and chris felt a dark cloud looming over his head . now , he was waiting for the rain . he tried to think of ways he could have apologized to kennedy . there were plenty of opportunities in their shared organizations that he could have pulled him aside and spilled his guts , but christopher always managed to talk himself out of it . he made the assumption that kennedy didn’t want to speak to him and he want to see him . kennedy’s words seem to echo in his head for a couple of moments , and he sinks his teeth down into his lower lip . he feels like such an asshole . his skin feels hot all over , settled in a position that’s all too familiar and for a minute he thinks they’ve pushed things aside for now . he’s wrong . he’s oh so wrong when kennedy pulls away , and christopher’s hands slip out of his hair as he feels a wave of hurt flowing off of the other . his words get trapped in his throat , and his attention averts down to his lap as he tries to carefully choose his words . ‘ i know , i -- ’ he pressed his lips together and finally pulls his head up . ‘ no ! ’ he speaks in a hushed , harsh tone . his stomach coils as he’s reminded of not only him flaking on kennedy at such an important moment in their relationship , but also the argument that was soon to follow . ‘ i messed up , ’ chris starts . ‘ i messed up with you and with your parents and i’m sorry . i got cold feet ‘cause i didn’t think your parents would like me . that night meant a lot to you and i should have at least called to apologize , but i didn’t and that was wrong of me to do i just -- i wanted to be there . i wanted to meet your parents and i really wanted to get to know the people that are responsible for the person i love most , but i ruined that . ’ chris became sullen , and it takes every ounce of courage to look at kennedy again as if he were a child getting scolded . ‘ i never meant to make you think i didn’t care . you didn’t deserve to be treated that way . ’
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𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱 𝐟𝐢𝐭𝐳𝐚𝐥𝐚𝐧 as harry bingham on the society .
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hi everyone ! my name’s koa , i’m 21+ ( with a birthday coming in t - mius four days 🥴 ) , and i absolutely love any form of cheesecake so please , i’ll take it via amazon fresh for my birthday . this intro for my son has been vastly overdue , and i apologize ! i finally feel much better after slipping into a slight funk , but i finally up to writing his intro ( and don’t roast me , it’s the exact same one from another rp but it’s fine ) and so here’s everything you need to know about mister cullen !
[ ALEX FITZALAN / ALETHEIA / ANADEIA / MUSE 13 ] / CHRISTOPHER CULLEN is a 21 year old POLITICAL SCIENCE major. HE is known for being NONPARTISAN & AUTHENTIC but MACHIAVELLIAN & UNSYMPATHETIC . when i think of them , i imagine FEMINIST ENAMEL PINS LITTERING HIS BACKPACK , THE LINGERING COLD THAT FOLLOWS AFTER HE’S GONE , AND MASTERING THE ART OF FAUX INTEREST IN A CONVERSATION . and even though they’re a proud HU student now , we all have our roots . theirs run back to them being a NEWCOMER . i asked around and it turns out they ARE an AOP student . in their interview , they managed to woo the admissions team by SHARING A VIDEO OF HIS BEST ARGUMENTS FROM HIS TIME ON HIS HIGH SCHOOL’S DEBATE TEAM .
statistics .
FULL NAME : christopher patrick bartholomew cullen .
NICKNAME(S) : chris , topher , and toffie ( by his little sisters only ) .
BIRTHDATE / AGE : september 15th , 1998 / 21 .
ZODIAC : virgo .
HOMETOWN : darien , connecticut .
GENDER : cis male .
NATIONALITY : american .
ETHNICITY : white caucasian .
HEIGHT : 5′9″ .
LABEL(S) : the zealous and the connard .
ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : biromantic .
SEXUAL ORIENTATION : bisexual .
OCCUPATION : political science student at hatchet university .
LANGUAGES SPOKEN : english , latin , and conversational spanish .
POSITIVES : desirous , spellbinding , ingenuous , nonpartisan , and authentic .
NEGATIVES : worrisome , machiavellian , cocksure , unsympathetic , and narcissistic .
background .
patrick cullen was a wide eyed and bushy tailed first year law student who knew he wanted to make a change in the world . from the get go , he knew that he wanted to be a criminal defense attorney as he was not a rich kid by far and saw that there needed to be a change in the american justice system . it wasn’t easy for him by far , and he was the student who needed to work throughout college in order to make ends meet , but he wasn’t going to let that deter him from his goals . during his first year in law school was when he met a political science graduate student named stephanie daniels .
stephanie was made up of unruly blonde curls and an australian accent , but she’ll still debate you until she’s blue in the face . coming from a wealthy family , stephanie found herself constantly being told one of two things : she’d either be the perfect housewife or the perfect mother . determined to change that narrative , stephanie went through college with the best grades and she was not idle to being interrupted by the men who attempted to speak over her . stephanie is a woman who knew what she wanted and she was determined to get it .
so , when she met patrick at a party she told herself she wasn’t going to attend , their worlds flipped on their heads , but in the best way possible . their first date was filled with gentle laughter and it wasn’t at the fanciest restaurant in town , but they enjoyed themselves nonetheless . despite their major differences , the couple managed to make it work and following two years of dating and engagement , patrick and stephanie married . despite patrick coming from a poor background , there was never a reason for the two to not be together – it was evident with the way that they looked at one another from the moment they met .
as the years passed , patrick found himself working at a law office while quickly rising in the ranks while stephanie ran for city council . during that same year , patrick and stephanie welcomed their first child , a sweet baby boy named christopher . their son was the apple of their eye , and they absolutely loved having him in their lives . from the get go , christopher had always been around his parents and around their political ties . christopher was always found attaching himself to his parents’ pant leg as they worked to provide him the life that he had in darien , connecticut .
more years passed , and their world changes again as stephanie is elected as congresswoman for the state of connecticut . for christopher , who was ten at the time he saw the world change for the first time since his parents were now in the public eye and there was suddenly security detail around their home . christopher while growing up , though , found that this was exactly what he wanted out of life , as weird as they may sound . he liked what his mom did , and he liked seeing what his father do with ensuring that the justice system was held accountable for their actions .
when christopher was in middle school , not only did his parents welcome his younger twin sisters cassandra and courtney , but this was when he started his development into someday becoming a president . middle school was when he began joining student organizations and even developed his love for lacrosse . during high school , christopher continued with lacrosse as midfielder and was elected as student body president during his sophomore year . he knew from the get go that he wanted to be someone who made major differences , so while he’s making his way to someday being mr . president , for now he was more focused on ensuring a place at a college .
now a student at hatchet university , christopher is studying political science as he has plans on attending law school once he graduates . he’s president of the student association , vice president of speak to lead , and a midfielder on the lacrosse team ! when it comes to the fact that he’s an aop student ( and pertaining to his subplot ) , a lot of people don’t think he got into hatchet based on his own merit since his parents are extremely influential and his spot could have easily been bought . christopher really makes no effort to tell people the truth since he’s convinced that they won’t believe him anyways , so lets people have their rumors .
headcanons .
he’s on the lacrosse team and plays the position of midfielder . he only ever learned latin because it made sense to his parents so now he knows a dead language that only ever works when he’s reading difficult books or traveling !
has his driver’s license but he doesn’t really drive . he’ll get an uber if he needs to go far distances , but he likes being able to walk places since his dorm isn’t far from different campus locations .
topher spends most of his time outside of his dorm , and usually doesn’t get back until late at night . his days start really early for training and practice , then he has classes pretty much all day and he likes to study right after . of course , he has his student association meetings and then he goes to the gym so he probably only gets a wink of sleep before he starts all over again .
he doesn’t like leaving his apart without being put together , and it mostly stems from being a congresswoman’s son ! his style is mostly made up of chinos , long coats , turtlenecks , chunky sneakers , and a gucci belt to flex .
he can make people worry about him sometimes ? and it’s mostly because he will literally go days without answering phone calls or texts , but then he’ll pop back up like nothing ever happened . he really does hate how much he’ll make people worry about him sometimes , but that’s the d*pression doing all the talking .
personality .
since he has really big ambitions for himself , christopher can be really overbearing at times . he hates when things don’t work out for him and he really hates when people try to overstep . he definitely is the guy who takes over group projects and assigns people a part because he wants things to work as smoothly as they can . he can be pretty charming as explained by his aesthetics : he’s mastered the art of having a faux conversation with someone so sometimes he might not be truly listening . he’s getting the important parts and then that’s what he works off of . he’s not that way with his friends , though . i can promise you that . he’s the most chaotic boy on the entire planet and will definitely find a way to ruin your life if he wanted to . despite all of that , though he’s a jock at heart ! when he’s with his friends he can be really laid back and all about enjoying himself in the now .
desired relations .
for specific plots , i’d love for him to have his best friend ! the person who really knows him the best and can tell when he’s truly dealing with something . topher’s a crier because toxic masculinity is not a thing ‘round these parts , so get ready for him to show up being a soft boy .
i’m really feeling a one night stand with some substance ? like yeah , they have their fun together but they don’t pretend to not know each other in public ( unless they have like a fierce rivalry going on or something ) so they probs tend to be a little like confidants at times but it’s still them having fun !
give me a plot where they full on hate each other . no lingering feelings , no soft moments – give me a full bred spicy hate ship that literally gets your blood pumping . it’s all i want in life , thank u .
something soft ? something really sweet and enough to make my freaking teeth rot ? i don’t know something literally anything just give me the softness that i’ve been craving for my boy .
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their fallout, in hindsight, had been entirely preventable. even weeks after the fact, the nagging feeling of miscommunication and a missed opportunity leeched to his skin and never quite let loose. kennedy could be a victim of his own pride more often than not, and without christopher making any active move to mend things, kennedy had made the mistake of taking that for rejection. clearly, he’d been wrong. and in his unwillingness to admit it, he’d missed out on all of this. the feeling of being cared for has kennedy rising to the occasion -– maybe he’d always been looking for his loophole or just the right time, and he’d never thought it’d come in the form of christopher knocking at his door past midnight. blue eyes soften at christopher’s admission, and kennedy can’t help but bring a hand up to thumb at his cheek. “ think we’re scared of the same thing. ” he admits, only realizing how true it is when he says it out loud. “ but i mean it now. and i don’t think i ever stopped meaning it. i just.. i got too caught up in it to admit it. i didn’t want to if you were done. ” there was nothing more humiliating than clinging on to someone that was over you, and kennedy’s fear of looking a fool had kept him and his true feelings at bay. he can feel heat spring to his cheeks as christopher moves closer, the distance between them barely anything until it’s nothing at all. the warm and familiar feel of a kiss is better than kennedy remembers, and even with all that time spent trying to convince himself it hadn’t been good, there was no denying it now. he leans right back in to kiss christopher back –- it’s soft and sweet but loaded, the gentleness of uncertainty but the eagerness of longing. he pulls back after a tender moment or two, just enough where their mouths part but close enough that their noses are still touching. how long has it been since they’ve been this close? “ i missed you. ” he swallows thick, trying to settle himself amidst the unwinding feelings and his drunken state. “ and you missed me too. so why did we stop? ”
not once did he assume he would have been back in kennedy’s dorm . at least , not like this . the last time he’d been here , christopher was picking up the small load of things that he would leave whenever he stayed over , packing them down into a box with a lump in his throat . he felt sick following their breakup , unsure of what to do with himself . he had gotten comfortable -- they shared clubs so they’d see each other even when they were busy , shared a few of the same interests ( despite christopher following law and kennedy , medicine ) and their slightly similar personalities seemed to be the spark in their relationship that they needed . chris didn’t want to break up . he didn’t want their relationship to end . he knows that only a select few are able to say they’ve been with someone since college ( his parents included ) , but he couldn’t help the wonders of what could have been . he’d overheard his mom talking to kennedy’s as the two became fast friends , often giggling about planning a lavish wedding for their sons , but somehow that seemed to be the stroke of bad luck the couple needed . soon after , the couple had broken up . chris inhales slowly when kennedy’s thumb touched his cheek . he’d always been an easy crier , so it’s no surprise his ducts fill with tears . ‘ but kenny , i -- ’ he chokes on a breath . ‘ i never wanted to say goodbye to you . ’ his voice is low when he speaks . ‘ i didn’t want to let you go . i didn’t , and i don’t . ’ chris lets out a soft groan , but it’s swallowed when kennedy returns his kiss . as they kiss , though , the tears slipped silently and flowed down his cheeks . he didn’t think this would be happening tonight . he came to help , not to end up kissing his ex - boyfriend ( or to cry during said kiss ) , but it’s happening and he can’t register what to do with himself as it does . chris tries to remain out of his own head , to focus on the familiar feeling of kennedy’s lips against his before this kiss seems to end all too soon . he draws in a breath and gently pats his hands against his cheeks in an attempt to rid himself of tear streaks . ‘ i’m sorry , ’ he apologizes quietly , and looks up into the blue hues that are looking back at him . in truth , christopher wants to answer him , he wants to give him a reason as to why they ended , but he can’t bring himself to . instead , he moves closer to press another kiss against his lips without hesitation and slides himself over the small bit of space until he’s straddling kenny’s legs as his arms lace around his neck . ‘ i never wanted to stop . ’
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hi everyone ! sorry for my lack of activity as of late ! it’s been a bad couple of days for me and i’ve been feeling kinda weird about turning 23 on tuesday ( which ??? isn’t even that old but i’m buggin’ right now ) . anyways , i’m about to bury myself in some homework for the next two hours and then i’ll finally get around to posting christopher’s intro as well as plotting with everyone ! again , i’m really sorry that it’s taken me this long and i promise to be better !
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it’s overstepping and he knows it –- kennedy shouldn’t take advantage kind grand gesture, and just because christopher still cares, it doesn’t mean kennedy should capitalize on it. still, things are easier to ignore between them when they aren’t so close, when they aren’t tucked together on kennedy’s bed while christopher tries to cheer him up in all the ways he knows how. kennedy had thought himself to still be mad about things –- upset, really –- but was he still? did time and distance change things? without feeling like he had to puff his chest in the moment and defend his bruised ego, it all didn’t seem so big and terrible anymore, and kennedy can’t see things through the jaded lens he did before. he’s not sure if it’s good or bad, that if this moment is just a moment, and if they ever took a step to being back were they were.. would they circle back around to fall apart again? it’s too much to think about after tonight’s events, and kennedy for once shuts himself out to logic in order to chase his heart instead. “ what makes you think i don’t mean it? ” he frowns, almost wounded. he’s a lot of things, but he’d never have the heart to lead christopher on. “ i do miss it. i don’t miss us falling out.. but before that? ” kenny shrugs, suddenly feeling sheepish in the face of vulnerability. “ i didn’t think we’d ever reach a point where this wouldn’t be a thing anymore. that i couldn’t watch a stupid show with you and forget about everything else. i miss feeling that way. ” kennedy’s never been afraid of love or tried to dodge it, but for a boy that puts up a lot of defenses without realizing, he’d sure made it difficult for people to get close. to want to get close. but christopher had slid right into his life with ease, taking on a role in his life nobody had ever assumed before. how could he miss helping him fold his laundry and drill flashcards? but he did. the little things were something he’d mourned the most, and now something as simple as a late night netflix binge had old feelings bubbling up beyond all better knowledge.
christopher doesn’t really know how to take what’s happening right now . he didn’t want to appear as though he was preying on kennedy -- like he had purposefully come over with ulterior motives that wouldn’t have been good for either of them . he deeply cared for kennedy , though , and that was probably something that would never change . it didn’t help that they constantly saw one another around campus , and had to interact with each other in the various clubs they shared . those were different from this moment , though . they were in such an intimate setting , and as much as christopher would have liked to stand up from the bed to remove himself from it , he couldn’t . christopher was stuck there and he didn’t want to leave . christopher’s hands grow warm , and he thanks his lucky stars that his cheeks don’t burn a bright red whenever he’s in a situation like this . they had their problems , sure , but kennedy meant so much to him . he wasn’t sure if he had a rose - colored lens covering his eyes thanks to kennedy being his first intimate parter , but there was a knot forming in the pit of his stomach . ‘ because i’m scared , ’ he admits softly , sitting up a bit from his leaning position . ‘ i’m scared that if you don’t mean it then i’d just be getting my hopes up . ’ he sinks his teeth into his lower lip and brushes his curls out of his eyes . he exhales slowly . ‘ i miss it too , kenny . i do , but who’s to say we’ll feel this way tomorrow ? that we won’t go back to pretending like we’re strangers ? ’ and maybe this is christopher’s way of downplaying everything that’s happening and everything that he’s feeling right now , but it’s not working . no matter how much he tries to push down the lump that’s growing in his throat , it refuses to go away and christopher knows he can’t stop the heat that crawling up the back of his neck . he sighs again , and reaches up to gently rests his hands against the other’s cheeks . ‘ oh , kenny . you better not be messing with me , ’ he speaks softly as he looks down into his blue hues and presses a gentle kiss against his lips .
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something to be sorted later. for now, kennedy’s drawn in by the way christopher manages to make him smile even when he’s an absolute mess inside. despite their differences, kennedy knew he’d always be there for chris when push came to shove –- sure, kenny’s personality could be sour, his grudges could be deadly, but most of it stemmed from kennedy’s intense love and loyalty to the few people close to him. he would, quite literally, help bury the body with someone he cared for, and christopher, even being his ex, was no exception. the reasons he’d been made dissipate in this moment, feeling minuscule when christopher seems to know him so well. to care, even when kennedy feels like nobody else does. how could he stay mad? his heart flutters in his chest as they settle into comfortability, and somehow it feels like no time has gone by at all. when did he decide he wanted to give this up? “ it’s dangerous to spread misinformation, christopher. ” even with a bruised face, kennedy couldn’t deny himself the chance to watch it happen. med school was still an upcoming dream, but he’d spent enough time doing his own studying, picking the brains of his parents and their colleagues and meandering around the hospital to know a few things. he really couldn’t wait to know it all. “ i know it’s bad to say. ” kennedy wrinkles his nose, head tucked neatly into christopher’s shoulder. “ but i missed this. ” they’re muddying things by doing this, they both know it, but neither of them are doing anything to prevent it. maybe its what they need.
the warmth that christopher was feeling was continuing to spread throughout his frame as the two fell back into old habits . to someone on the outside looking in , someone would assume that they were still together thanks to the miniscule amount of space between the two . he was so easily enamored by kennedy that it’d be hard for him to ever tell him no . christopher was a nice guy despite the fact that he was a ruthless opponent on the debate team and has had plans on becoming the next president of the united states while also being aggressive when it came to what he wanted . christopher cares for kennedy , and there was no denying that . his breath hitched in his throat , his palms grew sweaty , and his words could come out laced with a stutter whenever he was around the other , but christopher understood needing to be a safe space for kennedy right now . he had been worried as he trekked across campus , stumbling in his slippers as he attempted to make it to the other . clearly it goes to show that christopher would be there for his beck and call , even if he didn’t explicitly call him . he sinks his teeth down into his lower lip as he watches the show , barely able to feel the emotion of the character crying on screen�� since he’s so caught up in the moment between himself and kenny . christopher snaps out of it when kennedy speaks and he hums in response . ‘ you make a fair point , ’ he nods . ‘ it’s how i feel about scandal . there’s no way any of that is right , and i know it because my mom’s a congresswoman . ’ he chuckles softly , remembering the nights where his mom fussed at the television whenever olivia pope did something that was downright illegal . he blinks slowly , once and then twice as he tries to get a grip on what’s happening . his attention is no longer on the show which has now become muddled background noise . ‘ kenny , ’ he speaks softly , shifting his frame to get a better look at him . ‘ you can’t just ... go around saying stuff like that . not if you don’t mean it . ’
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the moment is more tender than what kennedy’s used to ––- at least for what they’ve become. none of this would be unusual before their breakup, but now? well, kennedy’s only taking what he can get in this moment. is it wrong to weave his way in knowing christopher has a soft spot still? maybe not if he has one, too. familiarity is what he’s seeking right now, and this is exactly what he needs. his eyelashes flutter gently when christopher pushes his hair away, and the gesture is so soft in contrast to everything else that it hurts. it’d hurt regardless, because kennedy misses it more than he’d say out loud, but still. that sort of thing used to be a given, and now kennedy finds himself melting at the scraps. the mess of complications just keeps weaving itself into a bigger and bigger web, the soft names, affectionate touches, but kennedy does nothing to stop them and everything to egg them on. he finds himself snorting at christopher’s pun, rolling his eyes in a way that is part of their new normal, and kennedy pulls him up onto the bed to share. as if he could miss watching grey’s anatomy. “ no guarantees i won’t fall asleep. i’m exhausted, but you know i’ll never give up an opportunity to point out medical inaccuracies. not even on my deathbed. ” with that, kenny reaches for his laptop from his side table and plops it on chris’ lap for him to setup. he’s too tired and doesn’t remember what episode they were on before they’d stopped watching together. instead he fluffs at the pillow behind his head and lays back to rest, tucking in to get a view of the screen.
the overwhelming feeling of warmth that builds up in his frame as he sits with kennedy . in truth , they had been together for a long time , but during that time he’d always seen the confidence drip from kennedy like it was a second skin . christopher knows what he’s doing , and he knows that it’s opening a door that he once assumed to be closed . he had been this way with kennedy when they were together , constantly showering him in praise and soft touches -- he couldn’t help himself . christopher had never seen kennedy so sullen before -- hell , he didn’t think he’d ever see him as such , but the longer they sat there the more christopher didn’t want to leave . even through their banter , their constant push and pull , the soft spot that chris had for him would never go away . he could never get rid of that soft spot even if he tried . christopher’s mom had seen the way their break up affected him , and he tried to pretend as though he was fine . a soft grin takes over his features when kennedy snorts at his pun , and that warmth fills his chest again when he makes the other feel a little better . he allows himself to be pulled up onto the bed , and he gets himself comfortable once the laptop is placed on his lap . ‘ mm , it’s okay . ’ christopher goes through the motions of setting up the show , and upon realizing that they were on season six , episode eight he realizes just how long it’s been since they last watched . ‘ i like hearing you point them out . makes the show a little less magical , ’ he says with a bit of laughter in his tone , turning up the volume a bit before pressing play . not wanting his arm to be in the way , christopher moves it to gently rest his fingers in his hair .
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it’s a small gesture, but in a moment where kennedy feels nothing but confused, hurt and dejected, it can’t help but spark a warm feeling in his chest. christopher pulling himself out of bed to show up at two in the morning, first aid kit in hand, ready to do anything, even if they weren’t on the best terms anymore. well, it’s a whole lot of feeling of cared for that feels foreign to him after the last handful of hours. “ thank you. ” it rolls out in a mumble, though audible enough for christopher to hear. “ for checking on me.” his gaze flickers down and he shrugs, a safety net lingering over them in the comfort of his room. as argumentative as they both are, he doesn’t think christopher to be someone that would kick him while he’s down, and seeing as he’s too tired to return any petty jabs or instigations now, he feels his shoulders physically relax. how exhausting to be on the defensive constantly, even if it’s often a burden of his own doing. even normally he’d be too prideful to accept help from his ex, but kennedy feels like he’s been walking with a target on his chest all evening, and the desire to just exist without the noise is so strong, he doesn’t care if that means picking apart his feelings later. “ you always said everything is pretty on me. ” is he joking? he’s trying to, but he laughs almost as he realizes there’s more truth to that statement than intended. better humor than discomfort. “ i think you’re the only person besides josie that gives a shit about me on this campus right now. ” that part is not as light as he intended it to be, and as soon as the words come out of his mouth, something miserable tugs at his heart and has his features falling sullen.
chris blinks slowly , biting his lower lip gently . the two had their problems , it’s part of the reason why they broke up in the first place , but christopher had a soft spot for kennedy . in truth , he had been his longest relationship , and the first person that he was comfortable with in a lot of ways . he hums in response to kenny’s thank you . ‘ it’s no problem , ’ he speaks gently . the blanket of silence that falls over the two isn’t an ounce of awkward , but he can feel a change in atmosphere . the two managed to butt heads nine times out of ten , hit each other with words coated in sarcasm , and roll their eyes at least a few times before the day is over , but it would never feel this when the two saw each other . cautiously , christopher moves to sit in front of kenny , tucking his right foot under his left thigh as he waited for the other to speak again . christopher had grown up in a space where he could talk about his emotions openly , but he wasn’t going to push . a soft chuckle and snort falls from his lips . ‘ yes , ’ he starts , reaching up to gently touch christopher’s cheek . ‘ everything is pretty on you . everything expect that thing . it’s really ugly . ’ his tone is teasing as he speaks , softly brushing kennedy’s curls out of his eyes . when silence falls over them again , chris bites his lower lip again . ‘ oh baby , ’ the word slips from his lips almost silently as he moves a little closer to his former love . ‘ hey , don’t beat yourself up , okay ? no pun intended , ’ he makes a joke in an attempt to lighten the mood . ‘ i can ... i can stay if you want me to . we could watch grey’s , get some snacks , and you can tell me everything that’s medically wrong with it . ’
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being inebriated will be his excuse in the morning. that’s what he tells himself, anyways, because he knows when the alcohol wears off, he’ll be kicking himself for letting christopher in to his dorm. asking why christopher showed up is pointless –- he knows the news has circulated already, and if the roles were reversed, kennedy would’ve done the same. probably even faster. so, as much as it would make sense to tell christopher he’s fine, he doesn’t need his help, he’s not his responsibility, he doesn’t bother. there’s no part of kennedy that could look at christopher in all of his earnestness right now, a mess, likely straight from his bed, with eyes full of concern despite the late hour and tell him to go. as if kennedy could pay anyone else to care this much, even if christopher insists on fussing about it. his gaze drops down to the first aid kit and kennedy shakes his head. “ ‘m okay now. ” he mumbles lamely, although the shiner blooming on his face says otherwise. he steps back for chris to come in, trudging back to flop onto his bed. “ as wild as it is, christopher, i wasn’t thinking about you while someone was physically assaulting me. had a few other things on my mind. ” he snorts and winces. tilting his head to the side to glance at his reflection in the small mirror on his bedside table, his mouth melts straight into a twisted frown. “ it doesn’t look that bad, does it? ” blue puppy dog eyes flicker up to christopher, who he’s certain won’t be shocked by the vanity even in these conditions.
christopher’s chest deflates as he takes in kennedy’s appearance , exhaling slowly and adjusting the denim jacket that’s about ready to fall of his shoulder . it was his own ability to make himself feel bad which made him come over in the first place , completely uninvited and without a true understanding of what was going on . in all honesty , he could have shot him a text to ask if he was okay , but his dreams would have been filled with upsetting himself if he hadn’t put his eyes on kennedy . he realizes after a moment or two that the first aid kit might have been overkill , but it was better to be prepared . chris averts his attention after a couple of minutes , the kit gripped in his hand hanging at his side as he brushes his tongue over his lips . ‘ well , that’s good . ’ he speaks more to himself than anything , suddenly feeling dumb for showing up like this . once he’s inside of kennedy’s space , he takes off his sneakers near the door and slides his jacket onto the back of the desk chair along with the kit . his eyes roll slightly at his words . ‘ alright , save the sarcasm for later , king . i just got worried ... s’all . ’ he picks at the loose string of his shirt . christopher moves closer to where kennedy is sitting and allows his shoulders to rise and fall in a nonchalant shrug . ‘ i mean ... it’s not pretty , but it’s not the worst i’ve seen . a little concealer and you’ll be right as rain . ’
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leave it up to christopher to be the only one out of the loop when something happens . granted , he’s been swamped as of late and hasn’t had time to wash his hair let alone keep up with what’s happening on campus , but when he got word ( thanks to his phone being blown up with notifications ) of some video in which kenny got hurt , christopher was stumbling out of his bed and making his way to kenny’s dorm . before he leaves his own , though , chris makes sure to at least grab his phone , keys , and the first aid kit that he hadn’t opened yet . kenny may be his ex , but there was no way he could pretend as though he didn’t still care for him . besides , they’d been together for a while . chris waits for a couple of minutes after knocking on the door , hands growing sweaty as he waits for the other to answer . ‘ ken , what the fuck , ’ he says the moment he sees him . ‘ is it your life’s mission to stress me out at two in the morning ? ’
#i lied :) i knew EXACTLY what this would be about JBFHDS#desideratvms.#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ writings . ❜
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╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ text example . ❜
#christopher tags#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ countenance . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ discography . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ writings . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ ruminations . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ vestments . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ twitter . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ snapchat . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ calling . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ messages . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ desired relations . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ featuring . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ meta . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ aesthetics . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ tasks . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ social media . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ events . ❜#╰ ❪ 𝑐𝘩𝑟𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑜𝑝𝘩𝑒𝑟 𝑐𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑒𝑛 ❫ : ❛ out of character . ❜
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